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omfg

 
whatf I dun
User ID: 30819626
United Kingdom
12/25/2012 02:48 AM
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omfg
I just shot a burglar in a red tracksuit coming down my chimney

he already had a big frickin sack of loot the greedy fkr

I shot him right up the arse with a homemade potato gun firing dried acorns - rapid air-fired nut crackers

don't think he'll be back

run back up that mofo chimney like a rat up a drainpipe

I just reported it to the police and the desk sergent thinks I'd be better using a taser next time as he wouldn't be able to get away when under the influence of electric.
he says this time of year is the busiest for home invasion
so take heed - the burglar in red is now a Eunoch
CeeLite

User ID: 30147653
United States
12/25/2012 02:53 AM

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Re: omfg
lmao lol
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 30819626
United Kingdom
12/25/2012 02:57 AM
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Re: omfg
musta had a set of ski's on the roof - left scrapes like tramlines on my slates,

think he could also be a rustler as theres animal footprints all over up there too....

think I'll ring the police back and see if any farmers have had any livestock stolen over nite
CeeLite

User ID: 30147653
United States
12/25/2012 02:58 AM

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Re: omfg
You're making me lol so hard!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 30819626
United Kingdom
12/25/2012 03:08 AM
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Re: omfg
OMFG just heard that some old guy has been found tangled in what could only be described as a fairground rides seating in the town center bleeding from his rear end - sounds like some sicko has raped him or something

what the hell is the world coming too when an old chap is the target of some twisted mind

hope he's ok and pulls through

must have bled alot as apparently his clothes we totally drenched bloodred