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Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2877009
United States
12/25/2012 11:24 PM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
I've come to realize that he doesn't live me anymore. I feel very lonely in this relationship, just sad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23828900


Did ya:

1. make breakfast every day for the last 365

2. do all of the shopping

3. do the laundry and ironing for the last 52 weeks

4. make everyone's lunch for the last 365

5. keep the house neat and tidy for the last 365

6. keep yourself looking decent and pretty

7. not B*tch or nag about anything

8. keep the kids from bugging him when he gets home from work

9. not dent the car

If so, and he still does not love yah, then he's probably a f@g,

but if not, then, well, yah got a list of things to work on don't cha.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12366656


well, I actually do all those things and some. And he's still not happy. I can't win for losing. I can't see myself doing this for another 30 years with me giving 80% and him 20%. It is depressing. And like the OP, I'm scared of the future too but I just want to be happy.
SevenThunders

User ID: 15851599
United States
12/25/2012 11:25 PM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
I am a college educated paralegal. I obtained my degree before my children were born, and obtained my paralegal certification while they were in a school. I have kept the house spotless, I like a clean and uncluttered house. I love to cook, and make every birthday cake from scratch. I have been a very supportive wife and nursed my husband back to health after a serious accident. I have given my all to him and my kids. Is it too much to ask for a little in return? I feel like a dog that is starved for attention or a kind word:-(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23828900


So have you actually expressed any of this to your husband? Have you stated to him clearly what you need? Have you probed him as to why he is withholding affection?

It's hard to say but I'mm not getting a feeling that a lot of real communication is going on. Are you afraid to get this direct? Does hubby have anger issues?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12366656
United States
12/25/2012 11:27 PM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
...


Did ya:

1. make breakfast every day for the last 365

2. do all of the shopping

3. do the laundry and ironing for the last 52 weeks

4. make everyone's lunch for the last 365

5. keep the house neat and tidy for the last 365

6. keep yourself looking decent and pretty

7. not B*tch or nag about anything

8. keep the kids from bugging him when he gets home from work

9. not dent the car

If so, and he still does not love yah, then he's probably a f@g,

but if not, then, well, yah got a list of things to work on don't cha.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12366656


You will never have a loving relationship if you believe all of the things you stated, unless you take a time machine back to the 1950s. The lady is a college educated paralegal, how the fuck would she do all the things you listed? if her husband can't take part in housechores and being a father, than he isn't a man. We live in a new world, where women can choose the direction their life takes, not be told what direction it will. welcome to the future.
 Quoting: EugeneOregonAwakened


Guess he doesn't love a paralegal then. But if she did all those things then he would love her.

But then she couldn't do a mans job then, could she.

Paralegal--lol

She should be doing exactly what I put above.

If not then she pays the concesquences---just like every other man hating divorcee'.

Divorcee's do not get hired at good jobs either, so it's a double whammy of loserville.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12366656


wow, awesome 1940s retro Judge Dredd sort of philosophy you've got, good luck finding a woman today who agrees. "she pays the consequences" lmao, and so the man is just fine and dandy. he should make no sacrafice becasue hes the superior being right?
 Quoting: EugeneOregonAwakened


Fortunatly I do not need to find a wife. Psudo-wifes with attitudes like you express are typcialy on their 4th or 5th husband.

Your old fashioned thinking went out with MaryJuhana ciggaretts and square toed boots with little rings on the sides.

The girls of today (fortunatly) do not follow in your misguided antiquated garaunteed to fail ways (unless they live on the isle of Lesbos, or the San Francisco bay area).

and also, (most modern) people do not say "far out" anymore either.

:-)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2877009
United States
12/25/2012 11:28 PM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
I am a college educated paralegal. I obtained my degree before my children were born, and obtained my paralegal certification while they were in a school. I have kept the house spotless, I like a clean and uncluttered house. I love to cook, and make every birthday cake from scratch. I have been a very supportive wife and nursed my husband back to health after a serious accident. I have given my all to him and my kids. Is it too much to ask for a little in return? I feel like a dog that is starved for attention or a kind word:-(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23828900


Like I said, we have more in common than you think. Did you read that link. You should. There are others like you and me. It's ok.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3978737
United States
12/25/2012 11:31 PM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
Women are insane - this is their essential problem - the don't want to be loved - they NEED to be loved. Their whole worthless self esteem is based upon someone else telling them how wonderful they are. Your gender sucks lady - you're never happy because you're chasing an illusion. Go get a fucking hobby and stop crying about your need to feel worshiped.
EugeneOregonAwakened

User ID: 4123634
United States
12/25/2012 11:33 PM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
E.O.A. you're being trolled
 Quoting: TDJ


good call.


some people really believe that stuff though, some of those ideas have persisted through the die-out of the last generation. they believe women are inferior, plain and simple.
Do You Guys Believe SevenOfNine and Chokotay Hook Up? Where Did That Come From?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29791397
United States
12/25/2012 11:35 PM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
You could get a divorce, go out and bang a bunch a guys and in about 5 years you will feel worse than you feel now.

OR

Stay in your marriage and tell your husband exactly how you feel and that you are contemplating divorce because of these feelings.

Most likely he feels the same way and you both will need to put an effort to change the situation.
Doggiegirl
User ID: 16513614
United States
12/25/2012 11:41 PM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
Sounds to me like he's cheating on you but doesn't have the guts to leave. 90% of them cheat eventually, they do it during the day when supposedly working, given the opportunity. There are some exceptions but not many. Women out number men ten to one so these not so great men have women chasing them because women are so desperate to nest and be in a relationship. There is nothing more lonely than an empty marriage. So glad I don't have to look at the same old same old. Living alone is a wonderful freedom.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2877009
United States
12/25/2012 11:43 PM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
You could get a divorce, go out and bang a bunch a guys and in about 5 years you will feel worse than you feel now.

OR

Stay in your marriage and tell your husband exactly how you feel and that you are contemplating divorce because of these feelings.

Most likely he feels the same way and you both will need to put an effort to change the situation.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29791397


It's so odd. Because when a guy get on GLP talking about how he wants to leave his wife or is cheating on her, you get cheers and all kinds of things.

But when a woman is like fed up, you ream her so bad and tell her she's making a big mistake. Why?

Very hypocritical guys.

If she is unhappy and had done all she can, why should she stay??
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28185728
United States
12/26/2012 12:01 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
I don't think humans cannot satisfy other humans desire for love.

When we stop looking for human love and start filling that desire with divine love, all our relationships get better.
EugeneOregonAwakened

User ID: 4123634
United States
12/26/2012 12:02 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
user Hawgzilla, first page poster, just gave me negative karma with the wording " Women will never be equal to men, sorry you feminazi" in case anyone was curious
Do You Guys Believe SevenOfNine and Chokotay Hook Up? Where Did That Come From?
SE7EN
User ID: 30769075
Australia
12/26/2012 12:11 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
user Hawgzilla, first page poster, just gave me negative karma with the wording " Women will never be equal to men, sorry you feminazi" in case anyone was curious
 Quoting: EugeneOregonAwakened


Its true so long as women live in their heads.
EugeneOregonAwakened

User ID: 4123634
United States
12/26/2012 12:17 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
user Hawgzilla, first page poster, just gave me negative karma with the wording " Women will never be equal to men, sorry you feminazi" in case anyone was curious

Please those who believe all of us were created equally, let hawgzilla know it. defenders of justice assemble.

yoda
Do You Guys Believe SevenOfNine and Chokotay Hook Up? Where Did That Come From?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30708042
United States
12/26/2012 12:36 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
I am not old, ugly, or fat. In fact, I still turn heads and am often told I'm very cute by both sexes. I have never strayed from our marriage. I have been a stay at home mom for 19 years, and have always kept a spotless house, made homemade meals, done yard work, helped with homework, and supported his demanding career. I feel very neglected as a wife. Even when he wants to "make love" I ask him to say something nice, and he can't. It's so sad because I feel as though I have given him my soul.
Y
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23828900




Some women think that the guy they married has to keep proving that he loves them and chasing after them like they did when single. For a guy, it's over. You're married and that's it. What is the point in chasing what you've already got? Can't you just accept the fact that you've decided to make a life together and just go with it? A guy shouldn't have to roll over and play fetch just to get some sex.
Major Jim

User ID: 22461430
United States
12/26/2012 12:38 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
I have given my all to him and my kids. Is it too much to ask for a little in return? I feel like a dog that is starved for attention or a kind word:-(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23828900



I know you shouldn't have to, but have you asked?

Many times we don't see what we have until we lose it or are about to lose it. We men are simple creatures and rely on feedback. We are bombarded with feedback from in our jobs when things are going off course. We need to know to be able to fix it.

We are good at subtle. One of the most terrifying questions to me is "do you notice anything new"? Just waterboard me instead.

Don't him minimize your feelings or the seriousness of the situation. Don't threaten to split unless you are ready to walk right then and there.

As important as love is, it gets pushed into the background of life. Keep it in the foreground.

It takes two to make things work but only one to destroy a marriage. But talk. You will never know for sure unless you talk.
.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29791397
United States
12/26/2012 12:42 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
Get real lady, your nothing but a selfish bitch... here looking for some other selfish bitch, loser, divorcee, to help you justify leaving your marriage.

You either do what it takes to keep the marriage together, which means, being honest with your husband and telling him EXACTLY what the problems are AND make sure that you tell him its to the point of you contemplating divorce...

If you haven't told him you are contemplating divorce you haven't been completely honest with him....
Obiwanbeeohbee

User ID: 28634688
United States
12/26/2012 12:43 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
I've come to realize that he doesn't live me anymore. I feel very lonely in this relationship, just sad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23828900


Do you read bullshit romance novels all day. If so, your understanding of what love actually is has been terribly skewed.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something that is completely foolproof, is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools" - Douglas Adams
EugeneOregonAwakened

User ID: 4123634
United States
12/26/2012 12:51 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
all this thread has proven is that most of GLPs population are single men who have been divorced or rejected by women their whole lives, and as a result they have a chip on their shoulder and finally found an outlet for it.

"women don't like me, therefore women are pieces of shit who arent my equal"

that is the logic. good luck being single loser assholes, who nobody gives a shit about. hope that works out for you.

Do You Guys Believe SevenOfNine and Chokotay Hook Up? Where Did That Come From?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3978737
United States
12/26/2012 12:55 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
all this thread has proven is that most of GLPs population are single men who have been divorced or rejected by women their whole lives, and as a result they have a chip on their shoulder and finally found an outlet for it.

"women don't like me, therefore women are pieces of shit who arent my equal"

that is the logic. good luck being single loser assholes, who nobody gives a shit about. hope that works out for you.

 Quoting: EugeneOregonAwakened


Saying women have unreasonable expectations and drive men crazy with their unrealistic demands (does this women actually want to feel the same way she did 20 years ago or be treated like she was when they met?) is not the same as saying this bullshit you posted.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29791397
United States
12/26/2012 12:57 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
all this thread has proven is that most of GLPs population are single men who have been divorced or rejected by women their whole lives, and as a result they have a chip on their shoulder and finally found an outlet for it.

"women don't like me, therefore women are pieces of shit who arent my equal"

that is the logic. good luck being single loser assholes, who nobody gives a shit about. hope that works out for you.

 Quoting: EugeneOregonAwakened


LOL, just another, selfish bitch, loser, divorcee.. trying to justify how she destroyed of her own home.
EugeneOregonAwakened

User ID: 4123634
United States
12/26/2012 01:38 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
all this thread has proven is that most of GLPs population are single men who have been divorced or rejected by women their whole lives, and as a result they have a chip on their shoulder and finally found an outlet for it.

"women don't like me, therefore women are pieces of shit who arent my equal"

that is the logic. good luck being single loser assholes, who nobody gives a shit about. hope that works out for you.

 Quoting: EugeneOregonAwakened


LOL, just another, selfish bitch, loser, divorcee.. trying to justify how she destroyed of her own home.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29791397


case in point
Do You Guys Believe SevenOfNine and Chokotay Hook Up? Where Did That Come From?
UnmannedAerialPilot

User ID: 18327004
Nigeria
12/26/2012 02:00 AM
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Re: Thinking about leaving my husband, but I'm so afraid of never finding live again...
I am a college educated paralegal. I obtained my degree before my children were born, and obtained my paralegal certification while they were in a school. I have kept the house spotless, I like a clean and uncluttered house. I love to cook, and make every birthday cake from scratch. I have been a very supportive wife and nursed my husband back to health after a serious accident. I have given my all to him and my kids. Is it too much to ask for a little in return? I feel like a dog that is starved for attention or a kind word:-(
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23828900


Have you told him all of this? No offense but you sound very pathetic and you are just havin a midlife crisis. You will never be happy if you divorce a man who never cheated on you, never beat you, doesn't get drunk all the time and works hard for a living. If anyone tells you that you are right to leave they are not your friend and are giving you terrible advice. You took an oath for better or for worse, how much is your word worth if you leave because you don't feel loved. You should ask your husband if HE feels loved and if not you guys need to rediscover each other. Take some time each day to write down questions to ask each other then go over them together with no distractions. You will never be happy if you divorce, and if you think you are sad now you have no idea what is in store for you. WORK
IT
OUT!

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