Christmas Eve vision of Jesus

First of all, a disclaimer. I'm agnostic, but I lean towards theism. Probably if I had more proof I would be a Christian, due to personal experiences I've had, although other religions interest me as well. I never go to church, but I've been seeking the truth my whole life. I know someone is out there. I just don't know who.

Okay, onward.

I was nearly asleep when an image of Jesus (and possibly his apostles) came into my mind. Then I woke up while the vision was still fresh. I wrote most of this down immediately upon wakening:

What I saw seemed to be a still image, although I was literally standing there. (Or it could have been 3-D.) What I saw was duller than a photograph, but more realistic than a painting. The setting looked to be in the present. It was an image of a man. It was obvious to me he was Jesus, but there was what seemed like a ferocious lion peering out from inside him. This was my first impression. But not like a voracious, ravenous lion. More like a mighty, confident, majestic one. (I can't find the right words here.) In no way did he look physically like a lion. It could have been the way he composed himself, but when I saw him, a lion was the first thing that came to mind, and it was the most prominent detail in the vision. It was like looking at a lion without actually seeing one, if you can imagine that. (Probably not.) It's a little like trying to imagine a circle-square.

There was an immense feeling that I hoped I wasn't on his bad side, or that he would turn against me. Just looking at him caused me great fear, though I felt drawn to him just the same. I was perhaps drawn by an internal confidence, or even a magnificence in him. And this was a strange thing to think, since it was just a still picture of a regular looking guy with a regular expression on his face.

The lion. It's like if you were seeing a lion in real life sitting in front of you who didn't want to eat you, but you know it's a lion nonetheless. But even more fearful than that. Like you knew this man had the power to banish you to hell, but you were pretty sure he wouldn't. But could you trust your instinct? No, I found I couldn't.

I'm trying to explain this the best I can what having a vision feels like, but I don't think this will truly convey what I saw to someone who didn't share the experience. Try as I might, I can't find the right words.

So Jesus was sitting down and there were people sitting to the left and right of him. The image was kind of like 'The Last Supper' except everyone sat closer and more intimately together. Like they were posing for the picture. No smiles. They were all sitting in front of a window with light coming in, and perhaps they sat on a booth like you would find at any Denny's restaurant. I didn't notice what kind of clothing they wore.

There was something ancient about them. There were maybe five or six people in all, including Jesus. Or at least I could only see that many because the shot was a close-up. Jesus sat in the middle. He looked younger than the Jesus depicted in Da Vinci's painting. Maybe mid-to-early twenties physically, although I sensed he was much, much older. Once again, I don't think that would make sense to most anyone.

Feelings played an important role in understanding the image, and they weren't natural feelings. There was something synthetic about them. Jesus induced fear in me, although there was nothing particularly frightful about him or the image. The image didn't feel natural or dream-like either. It was as if someone were showing me a picture I could step into. Synthetic looking.

This morning I looked through a lot of pictures of Jesus on the Internet and couldn't find any that were close to what he looked like in my vision. Unfortunately, after looking through all those Jesus pics, I can no longer remember what the Jesus of my vision looked like.

Christianity ended on dec 21, 2012, the age of Pisces is over

Welcome the Age of Aquarius

the return of the divine feminine

be love

you are God

we are one

Welcome the Golden Age

Jesus induced fear in me.

This is how you know the vision was not of God.

Not.