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Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7736082
United States
12/26/2012 09:46 AM
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Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
And if so what is the reason? I'm 26, a little above average looks, average build, work a decent average Joe job and get 2 nights off a week, addiction free, have my own home/car, have respect, funny and am overall a "normal" person that most like being around yet I can't seem to find a woman to settle down with. In fact I've only been on just a few dates in the past 5 years!! I don't go out to the bar much because it's not really my scene although I do drink. The only time I really leave the house is to go grocery shopping, pay bills, occasionally the mall. But thats ok because your not suppose to go out searching for love right??

Is it fate for some us to remain single for life? If so why? what is the purpose? Aren't we designed for companionship with our soulmate? It can be really depressing watching others share companionship and be in a relationship while your still pretty much "going through life".

Maybe I need to get out more? If so where do I go? Just seems like meeting people should be more natural and not forced IMHO.
John Donson
User ID: 28607946
United States
12/26/2012 09:48 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Dude, be happy now! Soon your future wife will own everything you worked your backside off for!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 7736082
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12/26/2012 09:52 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Dude, be happy now! Soon your future wife will own everything you worked your backside off for!
 Quoting: John Donson 28607946


Be happy with what? my boring routine of working, coming home alone, eating, watching tv, and sleeping? I want to experience what the rest of the world is doing.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 7736082
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12/26/2012 10:03 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
verysad
Lies & Alibis

User ID: 26237455
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12/26/2012 10:05 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Hi OP, thank you for your post. If you want it, then get out there and do it. Just make sure you make it clear what it actually is you are looking for. Go make the experience. If you are ready, you will find what you are looking for, i promise.

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30880564
United States
12/26/2012 10:12 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
I am, I don't pretend to know why.

In my case, life is better this way.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 7736082
United States
12/26/2012 10:16 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Hi OP, thank you for your post. If you want it, then get out there and do it. Just make sure you make it clear what it actually is you are looking for. Go make the experience. If you are ready, you will find what you are looking for, i promise.

hf
 Quoting: Lies & Alibis


I would prefer a Christian woman around my age give or take 5 years, that doesn't have more then 2 kids (preferably none or just 1 because I would someday like to have my own), who is drama free, has a job, faithful, classy, sacastic yet knows when to be serious.

I think I've missed my chances.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 7736082
United States
12/26/2012 10:17 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
I am, I don't pretend to know why.

In my case, life is better this way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30880564


Kudos to you if your truly happy this way, maybe you could share your secret? Because I feel like I'm missing out on one of lifes biggest experience.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22937696
Denmark
12/26/2012 10:19 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
It's because, you were saving yourself for ME!!!!!!!!!! haha j/k
Requiem

User ID: 30880068
Australia
12/26/2012 10:22 AM

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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
I would prefer a Christian woman around my age give or take 5 years, that doesn't have more then 2 kids (preferably none or just 1 because I would someday like to have my own), who is drama free, has a job, faithful, classy, sacastic yet knows when to be serious.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7736082


Sorry dude, but women don't come in the variety 'drama free'.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17888588
United States
12/26/2012 10:22 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
First of all, PRAY that you find the right person. Also, keep in mind that people in your age group are marrying later these days. Well into the 30's so you still have plenty of time.
Secondly, join a few Christian forums where you will have opportunities to connect with women in a safe environment and perhaps you can get to know some people that way.

Join a church or at least attend once or twice per month and see if it makes a difference. You may even meet a GUY and become friends with him only to find out he has a terrific single sister! LOL

I have never been married and it used to bother me and I know what you mean by watching other people LIVE while you just EXIST. Just give it time and pray....
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 7736082
United States
12/26/2012 10:30 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
It's because, you were saving yourself for ME!!!!!!!!!! haha j/k
 Quoting: Miss Malla


twirl

I would prefer a Christian woman around my age give or take 5 years, that doesn't have more then 2 kids (preferably none or just 1 because I would someday like to have my own), who is drama free, has a job, faithful, classy, sacastic yet knows when to be serious.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7736082


Sorry dude, but women don't come in the variety 'drama free'.
 Quoting: Requiem


All I ask is no "babydaddy" drama or things that get dramatized by teenagers.

First of all, PRAY that you find the right person. Also, keep in mind that people in your age group are marrying later these days. Well into the 30's so you still have plenty of time.
Secondly, join a few Christian forums where you will have opportunities to connect with women in a safe environment and perhaps you can get to know some people that way.

Join a church or at least attend once or twice per month and see if it makes a difference. You may even meet a GUY and become friends with him only to find out he has a terrific single sister! LOL

I have never been married and it used to bother me and I know what you mean by watching other people LIVE while you just EXIST. Just give it time and pray....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17888588


Your absoultely right dude. I thin I've tried praying in the past to meet the right woman but never stuck with it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1256345
United States
12/26/2012 10:34 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Dude your in a serious rut. 26 and your being a good little slave. Rattle your chains if ya cant break them. Plan mini adventures during the work wk and when the whistle blows be ready and bolt. Start by figuring how far you can drive and still make it back for work.
Find something, you sound like a really boring putz.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25953791
United States
12/26/2012 10:42 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
The social climate is more or less artificial... people living out archetypes they learned through the media or hollywood. If you are a genuine guy but define yourself through the unforgiving lens of society, you'll probably have a hard time. My advice is to figure out who you are, because you're already complete. Figure out what you want, and suddenly you'll have the standard, you have control over your destiny, women may pick up on that and find it attractive. But don't go into anything with the idea that it'll complete you or make society respect you. And take it from someone who knows, death isn't the end. You'll have plenty of opportunities at love for all eternity. Great ain't it?
Little Drummer

User ID: 1544158
United States
12/26/2012 10:45 AM

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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Dude, be happy now! Soon your future wife will own everything you worked your backside off for!
 Quoting: John Donson 28607946


Be happy with what? my boring routine of working, coming home alone, eating, watching tv, and sleeping? I want to experience what the rest of the world is doing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7736082


Here in lies the rub... I have the same routine you have, but I look at it differently.

Happiness does not seem to be finding someone or something, for me its about being thrilled with what I have and where I am.

Who knows maybe you will still find life boring and routine if you have a wife, child, or whatever else you feel will help you.

Just remember who ever you are with, or where ever you may go...
there YOU are.

I love being in rush hour, because I have a car.
I love being at home, because I have a roof over my head.
I love being at my work, because I have a job.

this is not a lecture I promise, I am just remembering being where you are and I had to choose to become happy.

Love to you
Little Drummer

User ID: 1544158
United States
12/26/2012 10:49 AM

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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Dude, be happy now! Soon your future wife will own everything you worked your backside off for!
 Quoting: John Donson 28607946


Be happy with what? my boring routine of working, coming home alone, eating, watching tv, and sleeping? I want to experience what the rest of the world is doing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7736082


Here in lies the rub... I have the same routine you have, but I look at it differently.

Happiness does not seem to be finding someone or something, for me its about being thrilled with what I have and where I am.

Who knows maybe you will still find life boring and routine if you have a wife, child, or whatever else you feel will help you.

Just remember who ever you are with, or where ever you may go...
there YOU are.

I love being in rush hour, because I have a car.
I love being at home, because I have a roof over my head.
I love being at my work, because I have a job.

this is not a lecture I promise, I am just remembering being where you are and I had to choose to become happy.

Love to you
 Quoting: Little Drummer


Oh I forgot to add what happened after that... I meet tons of people who want to date me, but I no longer find the idea of that appealing. Because there can not possibly be anyone who could add to what I already have.
Starlighttraveller

User ID: 18984827
United States
12/26/2012 10:56 AM

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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Dude, be happy now! Soon your future wife will own everything you worked your backside off for!
 Quoting: John Donson 28607946


Be happy with what? my boring routine of working, coming home alone, eating, watching tv, and sleeping? I want to experience what the rest of the world is doing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7736082


Here in lies the rub... I have the same routine you have, but I look at it differently.

Happiness does not seem to be finding someone or something, for me its about being thrilled with what I have and where I am.

Who knows maybe you will still find life boring and routine if you have a wife, child, or whatever else you feel will help you.

Just remember who ever you are with, or where ever you may go...
there YOU are.

I love being in rush hour, because I have a car.
I love being at home, because I have a roof over my head.
I love being at my work, because I have a job.

this is not a lecture I promise, I am just remembering being where you are and I had to choose to become happy.

Love to you
 Quoting: Little Drummer


Oh I forgot to add what happened after that... I meet tons of people who want to date me, but I no longer find the idea of that appealing. Because there can not possibly be anyone who could add to what I already have.
 Quoting: Little Drummer


You speak the truth as I see it. Listen to her OP. You must be complete in and of yourself. If you're looking for someone else to "complete" you, it will only bring disappointment.
hf
Be filled with joy in the knowing that you are the light and love of the one Infinite Creator.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 7736082
United States
12/26/2012 10:58 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
The social climate is more or less artificial... people living out archetypes they learned through the media or hollywood. If you are a genuine guy but define yourself through the unforgiving lens of society, you'll probably have a hard time. My advice is to figure out who you are, because you're already complete. Figure out what you want, and suddenly you'll have the standard, you have control over your destiny, women may pick up on that and find it attractive. But don't go into anything with the idea that it'll complete you or make society respect you. And take it from someone who knows, death isn't the end. You'll have plenty of opportunities at love for all eternity. Great ain't it?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25953791


I wish I could be so sure of this as you are? The notion does sound great though. I'm excited to definitely see my heavenly rewards.
Suntar

User ID: 29216381
United States
12/26/2012 11:01 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Hi OP, thank you for your post. If you want it, then get out there and do it. Just make sure you make it clear what it actually is you are looking for. Go make the experience. If you are ready, you will find what you are looking for, i promise.

hf
 Quoting: Lies & Alibis


I would prefer a Christian woman around my age give or take 5 years, that doesn't have more then 2 kids (preferably none or just 1 because I would someday like to have my own), who is drama free, has a job, faithful, classy, sacastic yet knows when to be serious.

I think I've missed my chances.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7736082


You haven't missed your chance. But you have, quite possibly, described someone older than yourself.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 7736082
United States
12/26/2012 11:01 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Dude, be happy now! Soon your future wife will own everything you worked your backside off for!
 Quoting: John Donson 28607946


Be happy with what? my boring routine of working, coming home alone, eating, watching tv, and sleeping? I want to experience what the rest of the world is doing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7736082


Here in lies the rub... I have the same routine you have, but I look at it differently.

Happiness does not seem to be finding someone or something, for me its about being thrilled with what I have and where I am.

Who knows maybe you will still find life boring and routine if you have a wife, child, or whatever else you feel will help you.

Just remember who ever you are with, or where ever you may go...
there YOU are.

I love being in rush hour, because I have a car.
I love being at home, because I have a roof over my head.
I love being at my work, because I have a job.

this is not a lecture I promise, I am just remembering being where you are and I had to choose to become happy.

Love to you
 Quoting: Little Drummer


Very inspiring. While I do classify my routine as mostly "boring" I still love it, but for some reason have the urge to share it with a special someone.

And assuming thats you in your avatar I can definitely see and sense that your happy even through a computer screen. You have a pulchritudinous smile.
Wizard's First Rule

User ID: 1026045
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12/26/2012 11:01 AM

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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Not my thing, but it may work for you since you seek a Christian. Volunteer at a Church. Join a Church choir or a Christian book club or something. Just get out of the house and go where good Christian women will be. You will never meet anyone by just doing the work>TV>bed routine.
Wizard's Rule #1: "People are stupid. Given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. People will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People’s heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool."
Primordial Rule: "The rule unwritten. It is the secret of all life. It is the essence of life itself. You are a creator and master of your own reality. You ultimately make your own rules."
All the Wizard's Rules: [link to sot.wikia.com]
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 7736082
United States
12/26/2012 11:29 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Not my thing, but it may work for you since you seek a Christian. Volunteer at a Church. Join a Church choir or a Christian book club or something. Just get out of the house and go where good Christian women will be. You will never meet anyone by just doing the work>TV>bed routine.
 Quoting: Wizard's First Rule


Not really a church goer but I've pondered this option.
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 26795689
United States
12/26/2012 11:36 AM

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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Work on loving/accepting others unconditionally. Once you create that emotional state within - work on directing that inwardly and loving/accepting yourself unconditionally. When you do this sufficiently and for long enough you may be surprised to learn that you no longer feel the compulsion or need to secure a significant other in your life. You may discover that you wish to remain to be as free and as uninhibited as you can possibly be and not confined/limited to any particular relationship that may close you off to others. I used to feel the need to be in a relationship but I have changed and now I actually feel the urge to remain single, uninhibited, and to have as little resistance & complication in my life as possible. I'm 30 and I used to feel the way that you describe in your post, for many years.

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25699776
United States
12/26/2012 11:38 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
I'm 32 and I've been in the same rut as you OP.

Not giving up though.

Have gratitude for what you do have.

Have dis-satisfaction for what you don't. Become passionate to try to get what YOU WANT.

And don't let the seriousness of that journey push you into depression/apathy--just have a little bit of humor along the way.

It'll end before you know it--trust me ... feels like yesterday I was your age.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30108220
United States
12/26/2012 11:40 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
You don't need a woman to settle down with. Settle down with yourself and get a good dog. Liberate yourself from the expectations of society and the lifestyle promoted by the media.
Smith Jefferys

User ID: 15628045
United Kingdom
12/26/2012 11:44 AM

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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
I'm the same, but I think I've figured it out:

I don't buy into the conditioned group dramas that seem to bring everyone together. Women like people who can empathise and be part of the drama - I'm the sort of person who stops it before it begins. The amount of faces I've seen sink when I've given advice that stops something stupid happening is many.

Weird huh?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17552394
United States
12/26/2012 11:47 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Dude.. Know exactly what you feel.. Im 32 and in the same row boat.. However, Ive identified the problem.. I am picky.. Most girls these days are incredibly superficial, cause/attract drama, or are easily drawn into such.. Women, especially American women, are very emotionally driven.. Meaning they dont always fully think out a decision before jumping in with both feet.. ie, having babies, getting married/divorced, mixing finances with a SO only to have stuff fall apart..
My advice, aim for a gal a little older.. 30 or so.. By then, most people have themselves figured out, or at least know what they want..
Enjoy being single.. No/little responsibility, you dont answer to anyone, no one judging you etc..
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 26795689
United States
12/26/2012 11:48 AM

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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
You don't need a woman to settle down with. Settle down with yourself and get a good dog. Liberate yourself from the expectations of society and the lifestyle promoted by the media.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30108220


goofy thum

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17552394
United States
12/26/2012 11:49 AM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
And plus 1 million for Smith Jeffreys..

Dont start no shit, wont be no shit... Ive also become very good at diffusing situations and getting the "weird looks"
Catnip

User ID: 24392638
United States
12/26/2012 01:22 PM
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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Do you have a particular sport you enjoy? Either playing or watching? Do you have a favorite activity, i.e., hunting, fishing, photography, etc.? Concentrate on whatever activity brings you joy and chances are you'll find a woman who loves the same thing(s) you do. Concentrate on yourself first. Do what you love best and the rest will fall into place.

This has worked for a number of people looking for a mate. Write down every aspect of the woman you are seeking. Every single thing you can think of besides hair color, body figure, etc. Write down what characteristics you want your woman to have, what you want her to look like, be passionate about, be compassionate with, etc.

Sounds silly, but it works. The universe will go about sending this woman to you. Writing down her attributes may take days or weeks. Concentrate on every aspect of her, then go out and enjoy yourself doing whatever it is you like to do. She will enter your life when you least expect it and when she does, you will know that she's the one. It may take weeks or months but she will come. Maybe she's even looking for you the say way.

Good luck and keep the faith, in yourself and in your request for the perfect woman for you.
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change"
Little Drummer

User ID: 23833166
United States
12/26/2012 01:24 PM

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Re: Are some of us meant to be single for the rest of our lives or atleast during are prime?
Dude, be happy now! Soon your future wife will own everything you worked your backside off for!
 Quoting: John Donson 28607946


Be happy with what? my boring routine of working, coming home alone, eating, watching tv, and sleeping? I want to experience what the rest of the world is doing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7736082


Here in lies the rub... I have the same routine you have, but I look at it differently.

Happiness does not seem to be finding someone or something, for me its about being thrilled with what I have and where I am.

Who knows maybe you will still find life boring and routine if you have a wife, child, or whatever else you feel will help you.

Just remember who ever you are with, or where ever you may go...
there YOU are.

I love being in rush hour, because I have a car.
I love being at home, because I have a roof over my head.
I love being at my work, because I have a job.

this is not a lecture I promise, I am just remembering being where you are and I had to choose to become happy.

Love to you
 Quoting: Little Drummer


Very inspiring. While I do classify my routine as mostly "boring" I still love it, but for some reason have the urge to share it with a special someone.

And assuming thats you in your avatar I can definitely see and sense that your happy even through a computer screen. You have a pulchritudinous smile.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 7736082



I had to look up the word "pulchritudinous" very nice, thank you.
yes its me about 2 months ago standing on a dune overlooking lake michigan, the picture was taken by an 8 year old after I set the tripod and light for them. I never have my picture taken because I am the photographer.