Right i will start mine from the beginning ,in 2002 my wife passed away ,leaving me with 6 children too raise ,i didnt whinge or whine or claim benefits ,3 of my children are disabled ,badly, i tried really tried but ended up after 3 years with a nervous breakdown as my youngest daughter had microphthalmia so didn't know wether it was morning or night and i stayed up every night with her ,i didn't mind staying up because she used to scream all the way thru' the night and my other children had school the next day, so i stayed awake day and night until my body couldnt handle it any longer ,3 of my children who were disabled had to go into disability care for children with severe disablilities . I visited them often and gave presents every christmas and birthdays even tho i had to hitchhike the 230 miles many times due to lack of money ,my father passed away recently and he was the one who i tried too copy and he had scruples and honesty he was a gentleman ,i am in a low paid job and the only way i could get a black suit and tie for the funeral was too use the mortgage money the suit cost £79 then £10 for shoes and £8 for shirt and tie , it had an effect on me not being able too buy my childrens presents ,due to the charges put on my mortgage ,i am not a benefit scrounger and never have been, the job im in may be low paid but its work ,i receive just less than £1k a month and out of that i paid the mortgage ,the council tax, the electric, the gas, food etc, i need this honestly , this is me and this is embarrassing [link to www.thefreelibrary.com]