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Why do people ask the question, if they don't want to hear the answer??

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4520570
United States
12/27/2012 12:54 PM
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Why do people ask the question, if they don't want to hear the answer??
Seems like this happens all the time, and it's really really annoying.

Here are a few cases in point:

My girl's aunt has another nephew, who is looking at 70yrs for 7 felonies, 2 of them have enhancements which act as multipliers during sentencing. The DA will not talk to her of course, and the family only has info from the defendent - which is shotty at best. The public defender tells her they are working on a deal to get him 7 to 10yrs according to her, and now she wants to know what my criminal defense attorney has to say about this case. So, their fam came to visit my attorney, he pulled the records, and found he was actually being charged with major crimes, and that infact he'd be fighting to get out in 20yrs, vs 70.

The aunti is like 'well he does need to serve some time to learn his lesson' so she is asking me what my guy is saying. I tell her: 7 charges, 2 of them with enhancements, 70yrs. But my guy can prolly get him to get out in around 20, so that he has a life, instead of life in prison. I then explain that all deals, even signed deals can be retracted for any or no reason by the DA, and often times they present deals to see who would sign them to see if they are really guilty, then they retract the deal and go for the jugular.

The aunti was convinced that dude will be getting out in 7 to 10yrs.

So I remind her that the public defended and DA both get their paycheck signed by the same person,as they work in the same building, and they have several cases daily to work on, but good luck with everything - hope for the best.

Clearly she asked the question but did not want to hear the answer.
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Now, same party, same event (xmas eve w/ girls fam) and I talked to the people I know, and all conversations played their course. Later, her mom wants to know if there was anything wrong with me, because I was so quiet. You know, there are only so many people you can talk to if you don't know them all, and if you are snubbed on the way in, it makes things all the more tricky throughout the evening.

So I go to answer why, because the mom told my girl 'why is so and so so quiet' so I go to explain how all conversations ran their course, but nobody wants to hear it. They just want to complain with a question.

---

My mom comes into my office and tells me my 18yr old brother who is living at home and is spoiled, has done her dirty again. (taking advantage by having too many people stay the night, not cleaning up, car/gas/ins paid for, job money goes to cookies & candy). So she's pissed and at a loss, and wants to know what she should do.

Does she want to hear the answer? no.

When the aunti asked me initially the other night, I did not answer her regarding her criminal nephew, because I knew she did not want the answer. I pretended like I obsorbed the question and disregarded it, until 5mins later she asked again, to which I proceeded to answer.

So now when my mom is asking about my younger bro, I know she doesn't want the answer, but I go to answer her: pour water on his face this morning, have ALL his clothes in a garbage bag, and show him you are taking them. He will realize in 4 or 5hrs that he only has teh clothes on his back. After 3 or so days, he will realize he cannot afford to buy clothes daily, and that he needs to change gears before the clothes are tossed for good. He obviously cannot leave the house naked, and will get his attention.

She doesn't want to hear the answer, she just wants to hear herself ask the question.

Why do people like to ask the questions but they literally leave the room when the answer is coming out?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4520570
United States
12/27/2012 01:26 PM
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Re: Why do people ask the question, if they don't want to hear the answer??
bump
Him Again
User ID: 29591477
United States
12/27/2012 03:30 PM
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Re: Why do people ask the question, if they don't want to hear the answer??
Happens all the time. One of my FB friends has labeled them 'askholes'. They want to vent, but people won't listen to a rant so they involve the poor sucker by asking their input. Then people will listen. They don't want the input of course.

When I notice that, and I see they aren't listening to my answer I just drone off to nothing, or (the fun one) is to go into a weird non-sequitur. If you can pull that off without missing a beat it's really fun. I mean start with a real answer then in the middle of the (say) third sentence go: "Well, the attorneys say my pet lizard has really bad breath."

Or you could just say you don't know and change the subject.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 4520570
United States
12/27/2012 05:55 PM
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Re: Why do people ask the question, if they don't want to hear the answer??
Yes I find they are themselves looking for some sort of sympathy instead of real answers.

Thank you for your reply good Sir.





GLP