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Message Subject I am the AC who wrote that vision I had when I was 15. I tuned 44 today. So it begins. Does anyone have any questions or need any encouragement?
Poster Handle OP
Post Content
OP, 2 questions.

Why am I here on this planet? why are we all forced to live "this" life? What is the purpose? I would think that an all-powerful, all-loving Creator would dispense with this insignificant time on Earth and simply create us right into the heaven that you experienced.

Why does your user ID keep changing?
 Quoting: Evil Cretin

My IP keeps chamging because I connect through a phone and have a dynamic IP that changes all the time.

I dont have any control over it.

In fact it causes me to get banned more often than not.

As to why we are here on this planet?

Well..lets go back a few years.

After I had that vision when I was 15 I could NOT remember it. Up until a few days ago I thought that entire episode was a weird dream..I thought I had imagined it. I knew it had hapenned but I could not quite put my finger on it.

Have you ever had what you knew was a very significant dream..and for a while after you awake you can remember it but by the end of the day, try as you might, its gone?...and you are angry that you didnt write it down while it was still fresh in your mind?

Well..it was like that. I could not recall the dream..I only knew I'd had a very meaningful dream..some odd flashes here and there..a general impression it was important..but thats all.

Then I went into the world..not longer an athiest..quite..but determined to "Pin down" and "Find" what was in the dream I just could not quite recall.

This is where the purpose comes into it..

I have spent the last 28 years in ups and downs..severe pain..some great joys..incredible frustration..despair..all trying to recall..to find..to meet..the one who I saw in my dream. The one who I could not quite remeber.I did not have a clue where to start..and until that dream the search would NOT have started at all.

As each main even took place in my life..the main turning points..I did get a brief moment of clarity..like a dejavu, I could recall that brief moment I was told of that event. But I still could not "Connect" with the one who told me.

ALL I knew is that my life..had a reason...as to what that reason was..well..thats why I started getting angry.

Pain after pain..despair..heartbreak..betrayal..thats what I experienced over and over. I thought.."well..SOME purpose..alive just to know pain..to be alone..to be useless and a nothing".

Despair and anger set in. I could not find my way...so I decided a few times in darkest despair to end it..to forcefully end the search because I was so tired of it.

Death did not want me...I tried three times ON purpose..and many many times indirectly..to end myself..through careless living..taking stupid risks..popping pills..you name it..I did it. I just could not die.

Then I knew...someone was keepong me alive..and I damn well RESENTED it. I WANTED OUT...and that..person..in that dream I could not recall would NOT let me die.

So I began to curse him and get angry with him..whoever it was..JUST like he said I would.

And it was when I was angriest with him that he started to reveal himself..in small ways..a bit here..a little there..

My mind began to open about a year ago. Through creation itself.

Suddenly I saw everything differently...the life force of a flower..the mind of a bee..the love of a puppy...the energy of a horse..the majesty and intricate workings of a tree. I was seeing the creator through the amazing things he had made...

I realised that each created thing served a purpose..had a function..and lived out its individual "destiny"...then I realised what it was all about..or started to.

And it was during this time of discovery of the intricate workings of creation that the greatest tests of my character came.

The betrayals and heartbraking attcks from friends and family began again. But..this time I took it better. I somehow knew it was all part of a plan..to toughen me up..and soften me up. Because I began to see people..in the same way. All hurting..all designed..all with a purpose.

Once I removed myself personally from the situation..and looked at these things in an objective way..I saw the pattern..the reason..and underlying it all was PURPOSE...

That purpose was love.

The death is needed...for ressurection to be possible.

That without disease, healing would not exist.

That without despair, Joy is meaningless.

That without hate...LOVE is unappreciated

That without hurt...forgiveness does not exist

And without obstacles...character does not grow.

And its not just others...I am one of the ones who hurt others...I hated people..I caused injustice..I did a lot of damage...

We are all stel blades..."Iron sharpens Iron"..we are used by eachother FOR eachother...rounding off the edges..the roughness...

I was learning to forgive..because I HAD things that I needed to forgive.

I was learning to love because I saw MYSELF as those others who were hurting me..cause I HURT THEM as well...

I began to see why...the reason we are born into a crappy pain filled world...

Its for our instruction..in the true meaning of love..mercy..compassion..and forgiveness..and MOST of all..to GROW us..from babies who are knocked about by the slightest hurts..to warriors..men and women of character..who could stand in front of a supernova of betrayal and spite and NOT be moved or affected by it.

Because when I was given the total recall of what I saw 28 years ago...I saw the reason..its NOT ABOUT this earth..this earth is a bootcamp..a training ground..a nursery of sorts.

And its NOT permanent...and each person..is given a training course JUST RIGHT for them..and their purpose.

Because when this old planet has served it purpose..there is 1000 years of government and admin and rebulding and prepearation to do...and once the 1000 years is over..an entire univers to oversee..to populate..to govern.

Those who are faithful in a FEW things here..will be responsible for MANY things there.

Our lives are almost over...

And know this one and all..

Take it from one who has spent MOST of his life failing and being a total ratbag...

Its NOT how we have run our race that matters...its HOW we END it...how we break that tape at the end of the course.

Stand tall...and complete your race..your life..KNOWING it has a reason..that nothing has hapenned for nothing..and the coach..the Lord jesus..is there cheering you on..proud of the fact that despite ALL the hurdles..the obstacles..the barriers..the bad weather..the ups and the downs..you are STILL RACING...even if its slowly with a limp..you are heading HOME.

We are nearly there.

SO TAKE COURAGE...we have an incredible future ahead.
 Quoting: OP 16464777

At what point did you become a Christian OP?

I feel like I was meant to read this post on this day.

Thank you greatly for sharing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 23290196

Well..I dont like to wear labels..and "Christian" is another label.

At what point it hapenned...a few months ago. About August...thats when I realised what it was all about..or began to realise. Then on the 1st of November I had a "revelation" of sorts...something in me changed..the hate..the anger..the bitterness..and all the grief I was carrying began to rise up OUT of me and evaporate. I was being changed from the inside out.

But I didnt fully know HOW much I was changing until the same old situations that have dogged me all my life rose up again...once again..I was betrayed by family and friends..left out..forgotten..cursed and lied about..by my own loved ones.

Now..that USED to floor me every single time.

But this time..I took it. It still hurt..but instead of reacting in anger..I felt something NEW in me..I felt LOVE for them instead of hate..forgiveness instead of grudge..mercy..instead of spite.

I KNEW I was changing then...and thats when I started getting serious with the Lord..in the sense I began talking to him..praying..not all holy and pious..but just good old down to earth chats like I am having with you now.

I call him dad...I am very casual with him..but also aware of just WHO he is..so its a respectful casualness. I feel I can be myself with the Lord..be open..honest..I can confide in him with everything. I tell him everything.

Now..I am not a religious person as such..I tried going to church..but it was all show and doctrines and entertainment..fake and shallow and centered on greed and self. That was so opposite to what I knew the Lord was..and what I was becoming.

So its just The Lord and me..He is my friend now..no longer my nemesis..the mean ratbag who tormented me. He is the one who orchestrated things in my life for my good..for my growth..not for my downfall.

Whatever takes place in your life is for growth..for good..and Jesus..Lord Creator..does NOT waste time..and everything takes place for a good reason. When something bad happens in your life.,.its only opportunity for further growth.

If you fail..you will recieve the same test again until yu pass.

Once you pass a test its on to the next one..always growing.

When you workout..it hurts..you NEED that pain to build muscle.

When you begin you might only manage ten kilo..and THAT hurts,,but..12 months further on you are doing 50...and the ten that used to be so painful is nothing to you..baby weights..

Life is like this.

A workout..developing strength.

Jesus wants character..not religion or doctrines..but character.

Forgiveness..is the result of character..a real man or woman..who can forgive...or at least be willing TO forgive..has character.

Thats what its all about.
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