In the end, we all stand alone before the Lord and give an accounting. We won't be able to blame our words or actions on anyone else other then ourselves.
Everyone's situation is different, but if it's at all possible, reconciliation and forgiveness is the most important thing with these broken family relationships. If you've done everything humanly possible to reconcile, and the other party flat out refuses, then there isn't much you can do other then pray for that person, that their heart will be softened so a future reconciliation can happen.
I have strained relationships in my family too, and know the pain involved in these situations. Of course, I blame the other party, but knowing that I did contribute I put my ego aside and allowed myself exposure to this person and it actually turned out quite well and reconciliation is in the works, it's a process not instant. It's not perfect, but it doesn't have to be because I honestly gave it 100% effort.
God reads our hearts, He knows everything. It's ok to let your feelings get hurt for the sake of trying to forgive.
When they came for Jesus, He told His apostles to put their swords away and healed the ear of the soldier even tho they were leading Him away to kill Him.
Forgiveness and trying to love and forgive is more important then our superficial egos. Atleast give it 100% effort and pray about the rest.