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Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?

 
Sir France's Beercan

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/28/2012 02:52 PM

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Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
So iI got this letter this morning and I reckon GLP is the best place to debunk or substantiate these claims.
Help!!


Dear Mr. (name withheld for security reasons)

Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Gerald Dächner, Professor in Anthropomorphous studies at The University of Harvard and I believe I have some rather exciting news.

In conjunction with several other leading universities I have concluded that your house is potentially situated above an ancient burial ground, the ramifications of which, if proved to be correct, could rewrite the history of mankind on this earth. I don't want to elaborate too much but suffice it to say my team and I have reason to believe that a small pocket of humans were alive, active and even farming in your area over 100,000 years before any other humans were thought to be alive. The potential of this project is breathtaking!

This is now where I explain how you can help. Having conducted numerous surveys of you area and performed many discrete excavations it has emerged that the 'REAL' cradle of mankind is actually situated under your living room!

All we ask is for a little of your time, to allow us to make a small, controlled excavation of the burial ground.

Our proposal involves creating an almost un-noticeable 2 meter wide, 90 metre deep shaft in the middle of your living room. From this our team of top experts will Descend into the crypt and retrieve the cadavers (we estimate there to be no more than 600) which will then be examined, tagged and wrapped before being removed to our lorries, which will then transport them to a high security bio-hazard military installation.

We may occasionally need to submerse a cadaver in formaldehyde for security reasons and we will conduct this process in the kitchen, simply due to the easy access to water and quick escape in case of emergency.

I can assure you that you and your family will hardly notice our presence as we carry out our project and I will gladly answer any questions you may have regarding the matter.

As an extra bonus we will provide your family with state of the art breathing apparatus to be worn at ALL times. These lightweight, compact devices sit neatly on the back and the full face mask should in no way hinder your television viewing (3d excepted). Meals can also be taken as normal by simply removing the mask, although we suggest meals are limited to three, five minute breaks with no less than four hours between each break. It is imperative they are worn while sleeping.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any further questions. I look forward to our collaboration on what is a highly auspicious project for the benefit of mankind.

Yours Sincerely

G.Dächner

Last Edited by Sir France's Beercan on 12/28/2012 02:58 PM
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 02:55 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Rock on.
Anti Vortex

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United Kingdom
12/28/2012 03:02 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Hrmmmmm.

Why do trolls and professors sound the same?
THE INQUISADOR

User ID: 27677169
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12/28/2012 03:04 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
As an extra bonus we will provide your family with state of the art breathing apparatus to be worn at ALL times. These lightweight, compact devices sit neatly on the back and the full face mask should in no way hinder your television viewing (3d excepted). Meals can also be taken as normal by simply removing the mask, although we suggest meals are limited to three, five minute breaks with no less than four hours between each break. It is imperative they are worn while sleeping.
damned
THE INQUISIDOR
THE INQUISADOR

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12/28/2012 03:05 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Hrmmmmm.

Why do trolls and professors sound the same?
 Quoting: Anti Vortex


No clue..At least the story is original
THE INQUISIDOR
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:07 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Yah sure, if they have never been down there how could they know that they are there? It is probably where hitler stored his Gold and they just found the map.
Sir France's Beercan (OP)

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/28/2012 03:07 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Hrmmmmm.

Why do trolls and professors sound the same?
 Quoting: Anti Vortex


Hrmmmmm.

Why do trolls and professors sound the same?
 Quoting: Anti Vortex


hf
stella stevens

User ID: 1490898
Canada
12/28/2012 03:11 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
sell the house to them for a couple of million bucks.
Sir France's Beercan (OP)

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/28/2012 03:13 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Yah sure, if they have never been down there how could they know that they are there? It is probably where hitler stored his Gold and they just found the map.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


Re read the article dickanus. It says after 'discreet excavations' meaning they came in from the side.
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:13 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
wow, let us know what happens.
Lisa*Lisa

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12/28/2012 03:13 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
I believed you until I got to the gas mask part........
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Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:14 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
donate to them the house
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:14 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Yah sure, if they have never been down there how could they know that they are there? It is probably where hitler stored his Gold and they just found the map.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


Re read the article dickanus. It says after 'discreet excavations' meaning they came in from the side.
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


Still I would be checking the gold angle
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:14 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Yah sure, if they have never been down there how could they know that they are there? It is probably where hitler stored his Gold and they just found the map.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


Re read the article dickanus. It says after 'discreet excavations' meaning they came in from the side.
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


Still I would be checking the gold angle
zoi_98

User ID: 18148675
12/28/2012 03:17 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnddddddd, there it is....
:bs:
90 metres? seriously? a 6 foot wide hole, 270 feet down from your living room?
Camaaaaan.
Sir France's Beercan (OP)

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/28/2012 03:23 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
I believed you until I got to the gas mask part........
 Quoting: Lisa*Lisa


Shill! I am glad to hear you find the safety of my family so amusing!!
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:25 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
5 stars just for the Name...

Reminds me of the 401keg retirement plan.
Sir France's Beercan (OP)

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/28/2012 03:31 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Yah sure, if they have never been down there how could they know that they are there? It is probably where hitler stored his Gold and they just found the map.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


Re read the article dickanus. It says after 'discreet excavations' meaning they came in from the side.
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


Still I would be checking the gold angle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


What's the gold angle?
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:32 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
so Op is this for real
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30760504
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12/28/2012 03:33 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Yah sure, if they have never been down there how could they know that they are there? It is probably where hitler stored his Gold and they just found the map.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


Re read the article dickanus. It says after 'discreet excavations' meaning they came in from the side.
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


Still I would be checking the gold angle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


What's the gold angle?
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


Hitler Hid alot of the Gold he had stolen from all over europe, most but not all has been found.
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:34 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
we now have ground penetrating radar on satalites to look for mineral deposits. they could be detecting gold bars under your house from space.
Sir France's Beercan (OP)

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/28/2012 03:35 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
so Op is this for real
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


Dude that's what I want to know. I usually have a pretty good feeling about these things and I must say this Gärtner guy seems legit.
zoi_98

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12/28/2012 03:35 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Sounds like Bernard Schnitzel is up to his old tricks again.... teehee
Sir France's Beercan (OP)

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/28/2012 03:36 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
...


Re read the article dickanus. It says after 'discreet excavations' meaning they came in from the side.
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


Still I would be checking the gold angle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


What's the gold angle?
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


Hitler Hid alot of the Gold he had stolen from all over europe, most but not all has been found.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


What's that got to do with a cradle of man burial site under my living room floor?
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:37 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
so Op is this for real
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


Dude that's what I want to know. I usually have a pretty good feeling about these things and I must say this Gärtner guy seems legit.
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


If you give him permission make a contract on any monies found in the form of gold or silver is to be split with you. also make sure you can be part of the dig to witness anything uncovered.
Sir France's Beercan (OP)

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/28/2012 03:37 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Sounds like Bernard Schnitzel is up to his old tricks again.... teehee
 Quoting: zoi_98


Ich bin nicht Bernard schnitzel!
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:38 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Let me guess, they need you to put up a $10,000 "good faith" deposit before the begin work ?
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/28/2012 03:38 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
...


Still I would be checking the gold angle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


What's the gold angle?
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


Hitler Hid alot of the Gold he had stolen from all over europe, most but not all has been found.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


What's that got to do with a cradle of man burial site under my living room floor?
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


Is it really a cradle of man burial site? Has he shown you any proof?
Sir France's Beercan (OP)

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/28/2012 03:38 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
so Op is this for real
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


Dude that's what I want to know. I usually have a pretty good feeling about these things and I must say this Gärtner guy seems legit.
 Quoting: Sir France's Beercan


If you give him permission make a contract on any monies found in the form of gold or silver is to be split with you. also make sure you can be part of the dig to witness anything uncovered.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30760504


Oh I see.. good point! Thanks my flower
Anonymous Coward
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12/28/2012 03:39 PM
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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Let me guess, they need you to put up a $10,000 "good faith" deposit before the begin work ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30731636


Yah are they asking for money? If so it is a muslim scam!
Sir France's Beercan (OP)

User ID: 1245590
Austria
12/28/2012 03:39 PM

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Re: Holy Shit!! Cradle of human kind supposedly under my house!!?? wtf!?
Let me guess, they need you to put up a $10,000 "good faith" deposit before the begin work ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30731636


No religitards please, lets keep this thread clean.

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