queen michelle will gain 30lbs.
malia will gain 30lbs.
sasha will become anorexic.
kim k willhave some black guys baby and gain 50+ lbs., then have her liposcution filmed for her tv show, and make an exclusive perfume of the dicarded fat.
britney, christina, lady gaga and jessica simpson will all gain 30lbs more, and they will all start "plus size" clothing lines.
madonna will break a hip.
barry o will be photographed with a "powdered doughnut ring" around his nostril.
prince harry will miraculously grow his hair back.
tom cruise will get married again because hes totally not gay.
anderson cooper will buy a baby with his hubby. they will be disapointed because it wont be a commie russian baby, but Elton john still will be the godfather.
kitchen knife ban will be fought over in congress.
millions of members of alchoholics anonymous will boycott starbucks for serving beer, crippling the company.

have to stop now...
i've said too much already.