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In Love with 2 People?

 
Anonymous Coward
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01/07/2013 01:45 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Love is a chemical reaction..There is no reason you cant experience the same reaction with two different people.
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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01/07/2013 01:48 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Love is a chemical reaction..There is no reason you cant experience the same reaction with two different people.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356



But actually being "in love". Because, I love a ton of people, but have never been actually in love with more than one at a time.
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
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01/07/2013 01:52 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Love is a chemical reaction..There is no reason you cant experience the same reaction with two different people.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356



But actually being "in love". Because, I love a ton of people, but have never been actually in love with more than one at a time.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



Maybe you havent allowed yourself to get to the point of having a chemical "connection" with another person because of your beliefs and or morals..That doesnt mean it isnt possible. There is nothing in the human physiology that limits this chemical reaction with just one person, however.
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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01/07/2013 01:58 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Love is a chemical reaction..There is no reason you cant experience the same reaction with two different people.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356



But actually being "in love". Because, I love a ton of people, but have never been actually in love with more than one at a time.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



Maybe you havent allowed yourself to get to the point of having a chemical "connection" with another person because of your beliefs and or morals..That doesnt mean it isnt possible. There is nothing in the human physiology that limits this chemical reaction with just one person, however.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356



I don't know the answer to that, actually. When I am in love with a person, I don't even have a desire to look at another guy that way.
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
Anonymous Coward
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01/07/2013 02:00 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Love is a chemical reaction..There is no reason you cant experience the same reaction with two different people.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356



But actually being "in love". Because, I love a ton of people, but have never been actually in love with more than one at a time.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



Maybe you havent allowed yourself to get to the point of having a chemical "connection" with another person because of your beliefs and or morals..That doesnt mean it isnt possible. There is nothing in the human physiology that limits this chemical reaction with just one person, however.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356



I don't know the answer to that, actually. When I am in love with a person, I don't even have a desire to look at another guy that way.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



There was a time, before I got married, that I had two high school sweet hearts. I was in love with them both. No difference in type or intensity of love. I married one and my connection with the other faded.
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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01/07/2013 02:19 PM
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...



But actually being "in love". Because, I love a ton of people, but have never been actually in love with more than one at a time.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



Maybe you havent allowed yourself to get to the point of having a chemical "connection" with another person because of your beliefs and or morals..That doesnt mean it isnt possible. There is nothing in the human physiology that limits this chemical reaction with just one person, however.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356



I don't know the answer to that, actually. When I am in love with a person, I don't even have a desire to look at another guy that way.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



There was a time, before I got married, that I had two high school sweet hearts. I was in love with them both. No difference in type or intensity of love. I married one and my connection with the other faded.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


What made you decide on the one and not the other?
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
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01/07/2013 02:29 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
...



Maybe you havent allowed yourself to get to the point of having a chemical "connection" with another person because of your beliefs and or morals..That doesnt mean it isnt possible. There is nothing in the human physiology that limits this chemical reaction with just one person, however.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356



I don't know the answer to that, actually. When I am in love with a person, I don't even have a desire to look at another guy that way.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



There was a time, before I got married, that I had two high school sweet hearts. I was in love with them both. No difference in type or intensity of love. I married one and my connection with the other faded.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


What made you decide on the one and not the other?
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



One went to college out of town and the other went to a local college to stay with me...Decision made.
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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01/07/2013 02:33 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
...



I don't know the answer to that, actually. When I am in love with a person, I don't even have a desire to look at another guy that way.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



There was a time, before I got married, that I had two high school sweet hearts. I was in love with them both. No difference in type or intensity of love. I married one and my connection with the other faded.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


What made you decide on the one and not the other?
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



One went to college out of town and the other went to a local college to stay with me...Decision made.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


Gotcha. So, the one that went out of town, do you think that she loved you less because she left and the other one stayed? Or was that not even a factor in her moving? Did they know about each other?
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
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01/07/2013 02:42 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
...



There was a time, before I got married, that I had two high school sweet hearts. I was in love with them both. No difference in type or intensity of love. I married one and my connection with the other faded.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


What made you decide on the one and not the other?
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



One went to college out of town and the other went to a local college to stay with me...Decision made.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


Gotcha. So, the one that went out of town, do you think that she loved you less because she left and the other one stayed? Or was that not even a factor in her moving? Did they know about each other?
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



Her father went to Auburn and said that he would pay for school if she went there..She asked me to wait. I decided not to.

Yes they knew each other. We all went to the same high school.

Do I think I could love someone else at this current time. Yes, absolutely. I wouldnt allow myself to unless I got divorced, however (which isnt in the cards for either of us)...
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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01/07/2013 02:44 PM
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...


What made you decide on the one and not the other?
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



One went to college out of town and the other went to a local college to stay with me...Decision made.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


Gotcha. So, the one that went out of town, do you think that she loved you less because she left and the other one stayed? Or was that not even a factor in her moving? Did they know about each other?
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



Her father went to Auburn and said that he would pay for school if she went there..She asked me to wait. I decided not to.

Yes they knew each other. We all went to the same high school.

Do I think I could love someone else at this current time. Yes, absolutely. I wouldnt allow myself to unless I got divorced, however (which isnt in the cards for either of us)...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


Wow, and they were both okay with it?
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
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01/07/2013 02:46 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
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One went to college out of town and the other went to a local college to stay with me...Decision made.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


Gotcha. So, the one that went out of town, do you think that she loved you less because she left and the other one stayed? Or was that not even a factor in her moving? Did they know about each other?
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



Her father went to Auburn and said that he would pay for school if she went there..She asked me to wait. I decided not to.

Yes they knew each other. We all went to the same high school.

Do I think I could love someone else at this current time. Yes, absolutely. I wouldnt allow myself to unless I got divorced, however (which isnt in the cards for either of us)...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


Wow, and they were both okay with it?
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76


LOL..No they werent very friendly with each other. I told them I was going to date around and not have committed relationship until I was ready to marry.
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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01/07/2013 03:07 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
...


Gotcha. So, the one that went out of town, do you think that she loved you less because she left and the other one stayed? Or was that not even a factor in her moving? Did they know about each other?
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76



Her father went to Auburn and said that he would pay for school if she went there..She asked me to wait. I decided not to.

Yes they knew each other. We all went to the same high school.

Do I think I could love someone else at this current time. Yes, absolutely. I wouldnt allow myself to unless I got divorced, however (which isnt in the cards for either of us)...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


Wow, and they were both okay with it?
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76


LOL..No they werent very friendly with each other. I told them I was going to date around and not have committed relationship until I was ready to marry.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428356


LOL, oh okay.
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
JustCinnamon

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01/07/2013 04:42 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Liked the "Lust/Love" post above!


Yeah ... You can "LOVE" the sexual aspect of a relationship ...

THAT will Wane!

Go with the Loyal and Faithful One ...

They will be THERE ... When the Sexy One is looking for Someone Else!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5943151



Okay, so what if he is saying he loves me (keeping in mind we were together 5 years, broken up for several months, we just going to start trying again and he met someone else almost 2 weeks ago), but he loves her too? He has told her how he still feels about me, but feels awful for hurting her and is says he is very sad to see her go and I've seen him, he is extremely sad. Says no matter which one he decides to be with, he will be hurt. I don't know if he is actually in love with me, or in love with her. He says he thinks he is in love with both of us. I also don't know if you can be in love with someone after a week long relationship.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76


After only 2 weeks, he's that upset? If you're in love with someone, it shouldn't be that hard to figure it out. And he fell in love with someone else just 2 weeks ago? If he's that torn, maybe he's not really in love with either...or he's more in love with himself. Also seems to be a word he just throws out there with maybe not too much feeling behind it.
 Quoting: JustCinnamon


Yep, he is. He doesn't say he is in love with her, he says he has feelings for her and she makes him smile. Says he loves me, but can't be with me because I don't make him smile anymore, I just hurt him.

Either way, he keeps going back and forth and I don't know why this girl sticks around for it if she is as new as he says she is, and she just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years on Dec. 23.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76


I don't know why she'd stick around either, although for her it's probably a rebound thing? Maybe for him, too. If I was in that situation, I'd always feel like "second best" even if he were to choose me first. It's like "The Bachelor." Lol Whoever the person ends up choosing, it was a BATTLE in their head so I'd always feel doubtful of that person's feelings. If the feelings were that strong, it shouldn't be a struggle, he shouldn't even have to think about it. Imo.
"I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic ******* hatreds, okay. And it makes the world a lot easier to sort out." George Carlin

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IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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01/07/2013 04:44 PM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
...



Okay, so what if he is saying he loves me (keeping in mind we were together 5 years, broken up for several months, we just going to start trying again and he met someone else almost 2 weeks ago), but he loves her too? He has told her how he still feels about me, but feels awful for hurting her and is says he is very sad to see her go and I've seen him, he is extremely sad. Says no matter which one he decides to be with, he will be hurt. I don't know if he is actually in love with me, or in love with her. He says he thinks he is in love with both of us. I also don't know if you can be in love with someone after a week long relationship.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76


After only 2 weeks, he's that upset? If you're in love with someone, it shouldn't be that hard to figure it out. And he fell in love with someone else just 2 weeks ago? If he's that torn, maybe he's not really in love with either...or he's more in love with himself. Also seems to be a word he just throws out there with maybe not too much feeling behind it.
 Quoting: JustCinnamon


Yep, he is. He doesn't say he is in love with her, he says he has feelings for her and she makes him smile. Says he loves me, but can't be with me because I don't make him smile anymore, I just hurt him.

Either way, he keeps going back and forth and I don't know why this girl sticks around for it if she is as new as he says she is, and she just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years on Dec. 23.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76


I don't know why she'd stick around either, although for her it's probably a rebound thing? Maybe for him, too. If I was in that situation, I'd always feel like "second best" even if he were to choose me first. It's like "The Bachelor." Lol Whoever the person ends up choosing, it was a BATTLE in their head so I'd always feel doubtful of that person's feelings. If the feelings were that strong, it shouldn't be a struggle, he shouldn't even have to think about it. Imo.
 Quoting: JustCinnamon



Yeah, I guess it is, but she keeps going back after he breaks it off with her, and then calls her back. I've done that too many times in my life, but not over a 2 week relationship, lol. I agree, 100%.
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
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01/08/2013 12:12 AM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
I think we're so conditioned by society to "be" a certain way, we make decisions based on who we think others we should be with.

Or whatever makes us look the best on the outside. If we were more busy BEING the person we wanted to attract, things would be much easier for everyone.

It seems like lately for whatever reason (I have some inclines), men are lacking the qualities of commitment and loyalty, which is the foundations for a healthy relationship.

Man would rather be dishonest and divisive to stay in control than risk being transparent with their feelings.
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
hahaha that was jumbled, "decisions based on who others think we should be with"
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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01/08/2013 09:01 AM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
I think we're so conditioned by society to "be" a certain way, we make decisions based on who we think others we should be with.

Or whatever makes us look the best on the outside. If we were more busy BEING the person we wanted to attract, things would be much easier for everyone.

It seems like lately for whatever reason (I have some inclines), men are lacking the qualities of commitment and loyalty, which is the foundations for a healthy relationship.

Man would rather be dishonest and divisive to stay in control than risk being transparent with their feelings.
 Quoting: Drummy



Yep, I agree. In this case, everyone we know thinks we shouldn't be together. We fought, a lot.

Absolutely. I don't know many people in general who are completely honest with their feelings.
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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Re: In Love with 2 People?
hahaha that was jumbled, "decisions based on who others think we should be with"
 Quoting: Drummy


chuckle
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
Anonymous Coward
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01/08/2013 09:38 AM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
So in my roundabout way I don't believe you can be "in love" with 2 people. That takes 2 hearts, 2 minds, 2 souls....2 lifetimes of trust, dedication and loyalty...and most of us have enough trouble with just one.
geminilion
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
For me personally I would say no. I think I may be sexually attracted to another but to be in love with more then one man kind of goes against the grain of what love is to me.

If I am in love with someone there can be no one else.
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Artaius
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01/08/2013 09:45 AM

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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Yes, it is.

But you can only go further with one.

When you are in a relationship in love with each other, you are creating an protection-aura with your counterpart.
This can´t happen with 2...
There will come a time when you believe everything ends.
This will be the beginning
[Louis L'Amour]

~ A r c t u r u s
geminilion
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Liked the "Lust/Love" post above!


Yeah ... You can "LOVE" the sexual aspect of a relationship ...

THAT will Wane!

Go with the Loyal and Faithful One ...

They will be THERE ... When the Sexy One is looking for Someone Else!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5943151



Okay, so what if he is saying he loves me (keeping in mind we were together 5 years, broken up for several months, we just going to start trying again and he met someone else almost 2 weeks ago), but he loves her too? He has told her how he still feels about me, but feels awful for hurting her and is says he is very sad to see her go and I've seen him, he is extremely sad. Says no matter which one he decides to be with, he will be hurt. I don't know if he is actually in love with me, or in love with her. He says he thinks he is in love with both of us. I also don't know if you can be in love with someone after a week long relationship.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76


How can he be in love with someone he's only known for 2 weeks? He is probably very sexually attracted to her and likes her personality but I believe true love takes some time to develop.
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
geminilion
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01/08/2013 10:03 AM

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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Indigo I read through some more of the thread and have some insight.

It appears that you both still love each other. I think he feels that he is in love with the other woman because the relationship right now between them is so carefree and new.

I have a feeling that one of the major problems between you had to do with the children. It must be hard for you to not have his daughter around since you have been caring for her for so long, she thinks of you as mom I am sure.

If you both feel you can make it work try. If not then you'll both have to step away.

I wish you the best...you're a nice person.
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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Re: In Love with 2 People?
So in my roundabout way I don't believe you can be "in love" with 2 people. That takes 2 hearts, 2 minds, 2 souls....2 lifetimes of trust, dedication and loyalty...and most of us have enough trouble with just one.
 Quoting: Drummy



I agree. I can love many, but actually in love, nope.
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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Re: In Love with 2 People?
For me personally I would say no. I think I may be sexually attracted to another but to be in love with more then one man kind of goes against the grain of what love is to me.

If I am in love with someone there can be no one else.
 Quoting: geminilion



Absolutely. hf
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Yes, it is.

But you can only go further with one.

When you are in a relationship in love with each other, you are creating an protection-aura with your counterpart.
This can´t happen with 2...
 Quoting: Artaius



Makes perfect sense. hf
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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01/08/2013 10:05 AM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Liked the "Lust/Love" post above!


Yeah ... You can "LOVE" the sexual aspect of a relationship ...

THAT will Wane!

Go with the Loyal and Faithful One ...

They will be THERE ... When the Sexy One is looking for Someone Else!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5943151



Okay, so what if he is saying he loves me (keeping in mind we were together 5 years, broken up for several months, we just going to start trying again and he met someone else almost 2 weeks ago), but he loves her too? He has told her how he still feels about me, but feels awful for hurting her and is says he is very sad to see her go and I've seen him, he is extremely sad. Says no matter which one he decides to be with, he will be hurt. I don't know if he is actually in love with me, or in love with her. He says he thinks he is in love with both of us. I also don't know if you can be in love with someone after a week long relationship.
 Quoting: IndigoSerenity76


How can he be in love with someone he's only known for 2 weeks? He is probably very sexually attracted to her and likes her personality but I believe true love takes some time to develop.
 Quoting: geminilion


LOL, I agree. He hasn't said he is in love with her, but was sort of implying that he loves me, but wants to fall in love with her.
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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01/08/2013 10:08 AM
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Re: In Love with 2 People?
Indigo I read through some more of the thread and have some insight.

It appears that you both still love each other. I think he feels that he is in love with the other woman because the relationship right now between them is so carefree and new.

I have a feeling that one of the major problems between you had to do with the children. It must be hard for you to not have his daughter around since you have been caring for her for so long, she thinks of you as mom I am sure.

If you both feel you can make it work try. If not then you'll both have to step away.

I wish you the best...you're a nice person.
 Quoting: geminilion



Thank you. I think you are an awesome person as well :). I agree that we still love each other, and she is brand new, not a care in the world. He is way younger than me, so she is much more on his level. I've been a parent for 17 years, he has been a parent for 5 years, but even then, I did most of the parenting. That is exactly it. If it weren't for his daughter, no way I would have stayed as long as I did. I think I could make it work...or did last week, lol. I don't know if I want to at this point. He is back and forth with thinking that we can make it work. However, yesterday he accidentally sent me a sext text meant for her and now I am repulsed by him.
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach
Starlighttraveller

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01/08/2013 10:29 AM

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Re: In Love with 2 People?
The capacity to love is infinite,
and infinite is the number of ways a person can express it.
Love yourself first and foremost OP,
then let go of anything that is not in your unique expression of the foundational force of the Universe; Love.
hf
Be filled with joy in the knowing that you are the light and love of the one Infinite Creator.
IndigoSerenity76 (OP)

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Re: In Love with 2 People?
The capacity to love is infinite,
and infinite is the number of ways a person can express it.
Love yourself first and foremost OP,
then let go of anything that is not in your unique expression of the foundational force of the Universe; Love.
hf
 Quoting: Starlighttraveller


Thank you :). :hf:
"Imagine no possessions"

"As Above, So Below"

)O(
Rach

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