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women. were you in a past abusive relationship

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30903996
United States
01/01/2013 02:54 PM
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women. were you in a past abusive relationship
that makes it difficult for you to carry on a normal relationship now?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5542489
United States
01/01/2013 03:02 PM
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Re: women. were you in a past abusive relationship
Yup. Try as hard as you might, there will be carryover. I was not physically abused but emotionally and mentally, which can be equally as bad. The worst part was that he played the part of a charming, gentle, loving, honest, sincere man when we first met and even continued the charade for a full year until after we were married. Then his true character leaked out and after a few months he didn't even try to hide it and when I spoke up, he just yelled to Get the Fuck Out. It was MY HOUSE when we met but after getting married he was on the deed when we refinanced so I was trapped. Ended up leaving with only what I could cram into my small car.

So yeah, no matter how sweet and gentle and kind a man may seem to be now, I have the mistrust and paranoia that it's all an act. This after 5 years of being single and having therapy. I don't know if it every completely goes away, I desperately wish it would.

Look at a dog that was abused for perhaps the first year of its life and then rescued by a loving family. It will always have a little mistrust, a little look in its eyes that it doesn't completely trust you.

Best of luck to you, maybe some women can handle it better than me. I think each incidence is an individual case. Best thing is to talk to her and keep talking and always be honest.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31154490
United Kingdom
01/01/2013 03:07 PM
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Re: women. were you in a past abusive relationship
I think OP needs therapy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5542489
United States
01/01/2013 03:15 PM
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Re: women. were you in a past abusive relationship
I think OP needs therapy.
 Quoting: Anti Vortex


Ahhhh just did a search on OP's number! Thanks for the notice Anti.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31154490
United Kingdom
01/01/2013 03:17 PM
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Re: women. were you in a past abusive relationship
I think OP needs therapy.
 Quoting: Anti Vortex


Ahhhh just did a search on OP's number! Thanks for the notice Anti.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5542489


Np ;)
I spotted a good 5 of these things in the last minute.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31287027
United States
01/01/2013 03:33 PM
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Re: women. were you in a past abusive relationship
Yup. Try as hard as you might, there will be carryover. I was not physically abused but emotionally and mentally, which can be equally as bad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5542489

What a stupid question to ask OP. I have never met a women who has not claimed to have been in a bad or abusive relationship. Then when you question them it comes out like this women that it was not physical but mental.

The bad thing is they have to claim these past bad relationships so they can get into a new relationship and make the new guy pay for what some other guy "allegedly" did to them. It is this new poor slob that has to trust that she is telling the truth and be willing to accept it as the reason the women is acting crazy and weird toward him. It is all manipulation and total BS.

You will never hear from any women that she may have been a big part in why her past relationships fell apart. It is always the big bad mean guys fault. But the truth is that in most relationships it is the women that is insecure or seeks attention from outside the relationship. Let me put it like this. There are many women that will blame a man for making her pregnant when she knows damn well it was another guy. You can see that over and over again on Jerry Springer and other daytime TV shows. any women capable of that is capable of any sort of evil deed.

Also the truth is that it is the women that always makes the choice as to which man she will be with. So you tell me OP, if it is always the women then she has no bitch coming for making the wrong choices. You know as well as I do OP that many women choose the bad boys over the nice guys because they are looking for excitement. so they get their bad boy and then expect me to feel sorry for their dumb asses?


.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5563045
United States
01/01/2013 10:37 PM
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Re: women. were you in a past abusive relationship
Yes, once you have been in an abusive relationship you are damaged goods. I'll never be interested in a new man, I am too damaged and there is no point, really, as men are all the same. Its easier to just stay quiet and keep to myself, and safer on the heart.... Why risk ever getting emotionally hurt again and again.

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