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Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 40482126
United States
05/28/2013 07:06 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
bump
John Nash

User ID: 39846366
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05/28/2013 07:08 PM

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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
No, stupid! You're supposed to EAT the cucumbers. Not put them...
"It is no measure of mental health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
“It is not reasonable to assume that manipulation of the immune system through an increasing number of vaccinations during critical periods of brain development will not result in adverse neurodevelopmental outcomes.”
'Austerity' is the term and policy used to impose collective punishment on the many for the outrageous banking crimes of a few.
Anonymous Coward
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05/28/2013 07:26 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
anyone who thinks they think that they actually think has already been zapped in think outside the bow
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
05/28/2013 07:28 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
A six-month study by AgriSearch, an on-campus research arm of Dalhousie University, has shown that genetically modified (GM) cucumbers grown under license to Monsanto Inc. result in serious side effects including total groin hair loss and chafing in "sensitive areas", leading to the immediate and total ban of sales of all that company's crop and subsequent dill pickles.

The tracking study of 643 men and women in Nova Scotia came about after reports began to surface about bald field mice and the bald feral cats that ate them being discovered by farmers on acreages growing the new crop.

"The bald wild animals raised a huge flag and we immediately obtained subpoenas for the medical records of all 600 plus adults who took part in focus groups and taste tests of the cucumbers by Monsanto in Canada," said Dr. Nancy Walker, Director of Public Health Research at Dalhousie. "Fully 3/4 of the people who ate these cukes had their crotch area hair fall out. This is not a joking matter at all...these people now have hairless heinies."

Nova Scotia became the first province or state in North America to ban a Monsanto GM food product, although GM corn and other food crops are currently outlawed in Ireland, Japan, New Zealand, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Greece and Hungary. Governments in Australia, Spain, UK, France, Turkey, India and Mexico have public petitions or legislative bills under consideration. Californians recently voted down a bill that would have required all GM foods to be clearly labeled. Monsanto cucumbers have been ordered removed from all food stores in Nova Scotia, while Quebec stores have begun a voluntary removal, partially because the UPC code stickers contain some English.

[link to www.thelapine.ca]
 Quoting: Mordier L'eft


HOLY SHIT - GREAT POST!

don't forget you can find Monsanto Gmos in all these products:

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26756963
Germany
05/28/2013 07:29 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
Wonder why they would only make genital hair fall out
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26756963
Germany
05/28/2013 07:31 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
good bye nair, hello cucumbers!
 Quoting: SmuRidley


Wonder if the juice from that cucumber will be used as a hair removal cream
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26756963
Germany
05/28/2013 07:32 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
Well, it would save me some razors....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30862383


Same here
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26756963
Germany
05/28/2013 07:33 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
good bye nair, hello cucumbers!
 Quoting: SmuRidley


Oh hell yeah.I have been fighting GMO's for years but this is awsome.I can only immagine never having to shave my balls ever again.If women use these as sex toys willit make them hairless?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1549678


If they cause chaffing really wouldn't suggest sticking them up your vag
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24470597
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05/28/2013 07:36 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
'Brazilian Cukes'
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30490257
Canada
05/28/2013 07:36 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia


You're not to bright are you? Write bullshit comments and then reply to them ''clapping'' fucking loser. monsanto is a terrorist corporation, killing off the world one poisonous seed at a time.<--thats your fucking motto, hope you choke and die on your monsanto product.
BrokenDreamsalive

User ID: 37413296
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05/28/2013 07:36 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
Im sure the baldness is just one the side effects... Just think of what its doing inside you...

wtf
 Quoting: DILKe


This is what I was thinking,scary stuff for sure!
~~Karma might be a slow train
But she tears some shit up
When she comes through!~~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 39481720
United Kingdom
05/28/2013 07:52 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
good bye nair, hello cucumbers!
 Quoting: SmuRidley


hey, you saw that video aswell?!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 40675187
United States
05/28/2013 07:54 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
This article is fake. It is satire. It is made up. It is not true.

thelapine.ca is like The Onion.

Again

THIS ARTICLE IS FAKE!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30462411
United States
05/31/2013 01:46 AM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
:funchrist:
 Quoting: Mordier L'eft


bump
Vagina Sprout
User ID: 30462411
United States
05/31/2013 01:48 AM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
Wouldn't this be a WIN/WIN for most girls? A multi 'purposed' cucumber?
GMObad
User ID: 40886679
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05/31/2013 04:45 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
link doesn't work i havent found a real report on this :(:wtf:

A six-month study by AgriSearch, an on-campus research arm of Dalhousie University, has shown that genetically modified (GM) cucumbers grown under license to Monsanto Inc. result in serious side effects including total groin hair loss and chafing in "sensitive areas", leading to the immediate and total ban of sales of all that company's crop and subsequent dill pickles.

The tracking study of 643 men and women in Nova Scotia came about after reports began to surface about bald field mice and the bald feral cats that ate them being discovered by farmers on acreages growing the new crop.

"The bald wild animals raised a huge flag and we immediately obtained subpoenas for the medical records of all 600 plus adults who took part in focus groups and taste tests of the cucumbers by Monsanto in Canada," said Dr. Nancy Walker, Director of Public Health Research at Dalhousie. "Fully 3/4 of the people who ate these cukes had their crotch area hair fall out. This is not a joking matter at all...these people now have hairless heinies."

Nova Scotia became the first province or state in North America to ban a Monsanto GM food product, although GM corn and other food crops are currently outlawed in Ireland, Japan, New Zealand, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Greece and Hungary. Governments in Australia, Spain, UK, France, Turkey, India and Mexico have public petitions or legislative bills under consideration. Californians recently voted down a bill that would have required all GM foods to be clearly labeled. Monsanto cucumbers have been ordered removed from all food stores in Nova Scotia, while Quebec stores have begun a voluntary removal, partially because the UPC code stickers contain some English.

[link to www.thelapine.ca]
 Quoting: Mordier L'eft
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 8780601
United States
05/31/2013 04:48 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
For real!!? No more Brazilians for me 5a
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33676911
United States
05/31/2013 04:51 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
wtf?

OK..GOD..I AM CALLING U IN..K please take out Monsanto..k

they mock u..and make graven images while perverting your creation..but,..of course u know this..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 40566946
Canada
05/31/2013 04:54 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
I hate Monsanto. But article is satire.

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