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Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia

 
Mordier L'eft
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01/03/2013 02:29 PM
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Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
A six-month study by AgriSearch, an on-campus research arm of Dalhousie University, has shown that genetically modified (GM) cucumbers grown under license to Monsanto Inc. result in serious side effects including total groin hair loss and chafing in "sensitive areas", leading to the immediate and total ban of sales of all that company's crop and subsequent dill pickles.

The tracking study of 643 men and women in Nova Scotia came about after reports began to surface about bald field mice and the bald feral cats that ate them being discovered by farmers on acreages growing the new crop.

"The bald wild animals raised a huge flag and we immediately obtained subpoenas for the medical records of all 600 plus adults who took part in focus groups and taste tests of the cucumbers by Monsanto in Canada," said Dr. Nancy Walker, Director of Public Health Research at Dalhousie. "Fully 3/4 of the people who ate these cukes had their crotch area hair fall out. This is not a joking matter at all...these people now have hairless heinies."

Nova Scotia became the first province or state in North America to ban a Monsanto GM food product, although GM corn and other food crops are currently outlawed in Ireland, Japan, New Zealand, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Greece and Hungary. Governments in Australia, Spain, UK, France, Turkey, India and Mexico have public petitions or legislative bills under consideration. Californians recently voted down a bill that would have required all GM foods to be clearly labeled. Monsanto cucumbers have been ordered removed from all food stores in Nova Scotia, while Quebec stores have begun a voluntary removal, partially because the UPC code stickers contain some English.

[link to www.thelapine.ca]
--"In this era of great big brains anything that can happen will. So hunker down." -- Kurt Vonnegut, JR. -- Galapagos.
Mordier L'eft  (OP)

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01/03/2013 02:31 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
funchrist
--"In this era of great big brains anything that can happen will. So hunker down." -- Kurt Vonnegut, JR. -- Galapagos.
THE INQUISADOR

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01/03/2013 02:38 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
A six-month study by AgriSearch, an on-campus research arm of Dalhousie University, has shown that genetically modified (GM) cucumbers grown under license to Monsanto Inc. result in serious side effects including total groin hair loss and chafing in "sensitive areas", leading to the immediate and total ban of sales of all that company's crop and subsequent dill pickles.

The tracking study of 643 men and women in Nova Scotia came about after reports began to surface about bald field mice and the bald feral cats that ate them being discovered by farmers on acreages growing the new crop.

"The bald wild animals raised a huge flag and we immediately obtained subpoenas for the medical records of all 600 plus adults who took part in focus groups and taste tests of the cucumbers by Monsanto in Canada," said Dr. Nancy Walker, Director of Public Health Research at Dalhousie. "Fully 3/4 of the people who ate these cukes had their crotch area hair fall out. This is not a joking matter at all...these people now have hairless heinies."

Nova Scotia became the first province or state in North America to ban a Monsanto GM food product, although GM corn and other food crops are currently outlawed in Ireland, Japan, New Zealand, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Greece and Hungary. Governments in Australia, Spain, UK, France, Turkey, India and Mexico have public petitions or legislative bills under consideration. Californians recently voted down a bill that would have required all GM foods to be clearly labeled. Monsanto cucumbers have been ordered removed from all food stores in Nova Scotia, while Quebec stores have begun a voluntary removal, partially because the UPC code stickers contain some English.

[link to www.thelapine.ca]
 Quoting: Mordier L'eft


WOW...hairless heinies
:nose23l36:
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Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 02:39 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
bump
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 02:41 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
I don't think it's funny
DILKe

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01/03/2013 02:42 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
Im sure the baldness is just one the side effects... Just think of what its doing inside you...

wtf
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Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 02:47 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
I don't think it's funny
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1218376


^^ THIS
Mordier L'eft  (OP)

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01/03/2013 02:49 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
I don't think it's funny
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1218376


^^ THIS
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31189143


dude, you're canadian.

you don't know that The Rabbit Eats Onions?

follow the article to the site's homepage.

it's actually REALLY funny...
--"In this era of great big brains anything that can happen will. So hunker down." -- Kurt Vonnegut, JR. -- Galapagos.
Jasper

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01/03/2013 02:51 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
monsanto4
:killerglp2:
SmuRidley

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01/03/2013 02:58 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
good bye nair, hello cucumbers!
Frater

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01/03/2013 03:02 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
That was hilarious!

Thanks
LVX!
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 03:03 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
GMO is bad, mm'kay?
Zedakah

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01/03/2013 04:10 PM

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ztemonsanto
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:11 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
bsflag MORE CONSPIRACY THEORIST BULLSHIT ABOUT MONSANTO

cruise

Thread: Monsanto is feeding BILLIONS of people. So stop whining about it libtards and neonazis!
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:12 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11141770


Thread: I feed my kids only Monsanto branded products because they've been a trusted company for 100 years

clappa
Instant Karma

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01/03/2013 04:20 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
How long before Monsanto is indicted for crimes against humanity?

Their long-term goal appears to be nothing less than the complete and permanent poisoning of the world's food supply.

Their products are causing sterility and cancer.

OP's story might be a parody, but it's not far from the truth.

Last Edited by Gimme Some Truth on 01/03/2013 04:24 PM
Dollar Deception: How Banks Secretly Create Money:
[link to www.webofdebt.com]

ALTERED GENES, TWISTED TRUTH: How the Venture to Genetically Engineer Our Food Has Subverted Science, Corrupted Government, and Systematically Deceived the Public:
[link to www.amazon.com]

2028 End?
[link to 2028end.com]
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:21 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
Well, it would save me some razors....
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:22 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
Is the baldness due to consuming the cucumbers or using them?
Omniscient1

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01/03/2013 04:25 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
Stock tip buy Rogaine
Omniscient1

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01/03/2013 04:25 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
Well, it would save me some razors....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30862383


Get rid of that unibrow too
Omniscient1

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01/03/2013 04:27 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
But why just pubic hair ? there must be something more sinister behind this.
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:29 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
I think that the the employees and management of Monsanto, and all the senators, congressmen, the president, Military Leadership, etc., should be the first line of experimentation for their new products. They should all be required to eat their GMO's for a year, before allowing them to the public.

I think that these cucumbers should be served at the next Bilderberg meeting, the next meeting of Bohemian Grove, etc. as well.

Then, after all the data is collected we can see what is safe and what is not.
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:31 PM
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Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:34 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
The real question here is

do Monsanto bosses eat Monsanto?

scratching
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:34 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
How long before Monsanto is indicted for crimes against humanity?

Their long-term goal appears to be nothing less than the complete and permanent poisoning of the world's food supply.

Their products are causing sterility and cancer.

OP's story might be a parody, but it's not far from the truth.
 Quoting: Instant Karma


Yes, our food supply has been corrupted and contaminated.

True, it may be funny, but it is also pathetic. Thanks for bringing it up, Op. Anything to bring the vastness of this problem to the public's attention, whether parody or not.

How many other vegetables have they developed, that we are or will be eating, that have such unknown side effects? When will we wake up to the evils of this company? As poster below says, at least some countries have figured it out and banned all GMO foods, even Kenya, Obama's homeland. Anybody remember his pre-2008 election promise to ban GMO's? Instead he appointed a major Monsanto exec to head the FDA in charge of the safety of our food. But other countries have acted on this evil.

And, they are developing vegetables with Vaccines in them. I kid you not. I've posted about it with links a couple times, google it.

The US is totally corrupted, but at least some countries are getting it right:
[link to gizadeathstar.com]

Kenya bans importation of GMO foods

What is apparent in Kenya is what is apparent in most other countries initiating such full or partial bans:

“Public Health minister Beth Mugo subsequently directed all Public Health Officers at all ports of entry and all other government regulators to enforce the ban on importation of Genetically Modified Foods in the country.

“This she says was following the decision made by the cabinet to ban the importation of GMO foods into the country due to inadequate research done on GMOs and scientific evidence provided to prove the safety of the foods until such a time that the country will certify that they have no negative impacts on the health of consumers.”
Read more: KENYA JOINS THE GROWING LIST OF COUNTRIES BANNING GMO FOODS AND CROPS
- Giza Death Star Community
=========
[link to www.rawfoodsupport.com]
[naturalsociety.com]

By Anthony Gucciardi
June 24th, 2011 | Updated 06/01/2012 at 4:39 am
In an act of defiance against bloated biotech companies like Monsanto, Peru has officially passed a law banning genetically modified ingredients within the nation for a period of 10 years.
Peru’s Plenary Session of the Congress made the decision despite previous governmental pushes for GM legalization. Anibal Huerta, President of Peru’s Agrarian Commission, said the ban was needed to prevent the ”danger that can arise from the use of biotechnology.”
===========
[link to www.gmo-free-regions.org]
GE cultivation bans in EuropeAustria: Ban on cultivation of Monsanto’s maize MON 810, MON 863 and T25
Notified in June 1999, initially under Article 16 of Directive 90/220/EEC, and subsequently maintained in February 2004 under Article 23 of Directive 2001/18/EC;

France: Ban on cultivation of Monsanto’s maize MON 810.
Notified in February 2008, under Article 23 of Directive 2001/18/EC; and under EU Regulation 1829/2003

Germany: in April 2009 the agriculture Minister, Ms. Aigner, announced a ban on cultivation and sale of MON 810

Greece: Ban on cultivation of Monsanto’s maize MON 810.
Application lodged in April 2005 under Article 18 of Directive 2002/53/EC, and subsequently in January 2006 extended/maintained the measure under Article 23 of Directive 2001/18/EC;

Hungary: Ban on cultivation of Monsanto’s maize MON 810.
Notified in September 2006, under Article 23 of Directive 2001/18/EC; Ban on cultivation and commercial use of potato Amflora Notified in June 2010

Italy: General ban on the cultivation of all genetically engineered (GE) crops. Notified by ministerial circular in March 2006. This ban will stay in place until the Italian regions have regulated the “coexistence” between GE, conventional and organic crops.

Luxembourg : Ban on cultivation of Monsanto’s maize MON 810.
Notified in March 2009, under Directive 2001/18/EC

Ban on cultivation and commercial use of potato Amflora
Notified in June 2010

Poland: Ban on cultivation of Monsanto’s maize MON 810.
Application lodged in March 2005 under Article 16 of Directive 2002/53/EC ( The EU’s Seeds Directive). The ban under the Seeds Directive affects 16 out of 31 MON 810 varieties. However, in May 2006 the Polish government complemented the ban with a general prohibition –based on national law- to sell any GE seeds in Poland.

Romania: Ban on cultivation of MON 810 maize announced by Environment minister Korodi on 27 March 2008. The Romanian government has indicated that it intends to install the ban on the same legal grounds as France: under Article 23 of Directive 2001/18/EC; and under EU Regulation 1829/2003. Enactment of the ban is expected in April 2008.

Switzerland: In 2005, the Swiss voted by referdendum a 5-year moratorium against the commercial cultivation of GM crops and animals. The Suiss government decided to extend this moratorium till 2013.
See our maps of bans

========
[link to www.celestialhealing.net]
List of Countries that have Banned GMO-Genetically Modified Foods

Italy
Austria
Hungary
France
Germany
Luxembourg
Portugal
Greece
Spain
UK: The Church of England has refused permission for GE crop trials
on 60,000 hectares of its land, dozens of local authorities supply GE
free school lunches, the House of Commons banned GE foods for its
catering. The vote of the Welsh Assembly to keep Wales GE free was
counteracted by the ministry of Agriculture approving a GE maize variety.
The Island of Jersey banned GE crops.
Switzerland
Norway: Banned the import of several GE crops and products which
contain antibiotic resistance genes.
Australia: The State of Tasmania banned GE rapeseed as weed,
Western Australia has banned commercial GE planting. Australian
States are given the right to declare themselves GE free. Some
communities (e.g. Bondi/Sydney, West Wimmera Shire) declared
themselves GE free.
Thailand
Philippines
Saudi Arabia
Egypt
Algeria
Brazil
Peru
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31357296
ladyannie2009

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01/03/2013 04:34 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
lolsign


you couldn't make this shit up... thumbs
"the truth will stand up, when nothing else will"
- annie's mom

"When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for."
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Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:40 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
I think that the the employees and management of Monsanto, and all the senators, congressmen, the president, Military Leadership, etc., should be the first line of experimentation for their new products. They should all be required to eat their GMO's for a year, before allowing them to the public.

I think that these cucumbers should be served at the next Bilderberg meeting, the next meeting of Bohemian Grove, etc. as well.

Then, after all the data is collected we can see what is safe and what is not.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27571238


Never heard of royal food testers tounge

Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:41 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
good bye nair, hello cucumbers!
 Quoting: SmuRidley


Oh hell yeah.I have been fighting GMO's for years but this is awsome.I can only immagine never having to shave my balls ever again.If women use these as sex toys willit make them hairless?
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 04:55 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
"Canada's Best SATIRICAL Newspaper | The Lapine"

homeruhh
*Darkzen*

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01/03/2013 04:59 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
It's ok... the test is now complete. It works. Now the razer manufacturing take down can ensue.

The q Cumber Defeats the Razer !

Thank you Monsanto...

Now I BAIN the !
..11:11..

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01/03/2013 05:11 PM
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Re: Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness -- Immediately Banned in Nova Scotia
But why just pubic hair ? there must be something more sinister behind this.
 Quoting: Omniscient1


First it's your hair, then your nuts drop off in 6 months then comes cancer, then you wish you never ate them.
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