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My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...

 
Desert FoxModerator
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
During my childhood (from since I can remember to high school) I didn't really received much attention from my parents… at least not emotional attention.

My parents never had time for me.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Some of us already knew that about you. :)
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


Yep...
 Quoting: littlemiracles


Yep
TOMABANEFOX
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 09:48 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
During my childhood (from since I can remember to high school) I didn't really received much attention from my parents… at least not emotional attention.

My parents never had time for me.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Some of us already knew that about you. :)
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


Yep...
 Quoting: littlemiracles


Yep
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I know. You all are like psychologists or something.
Vegetable season
littlemiracles

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01/03/2013 09:49 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


Some of us already knew that about you. :)
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


Yep...
 Quoting: littlemiracles


Yep
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I know. You all are like psychologists or something.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Only in my spare time :)
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 09:49 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


Yep...
 Quoting: littlemiracles


Yep
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I know. You all are like psychologists or something.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Only in my spare time :)
 Quoting: littlemiracles


LOL
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 09:54 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Who bought your clothes ? Who fed you ? Who bought you the stuff you wanted ? Who put a roof over your head ? Who took you to the hospital when you was sick ? Who paid for your college ? Your upset because they did not surrender 100 percent of their lives to you... and you give full credit to your happiness to some shmuck who may be gone in a week .

Your a spoiled brat... loser
davvi

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01/03/2013 09:54 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Sad story but it seems like you found your soul mate there! I'm glad for you. I also grew up in similar conditions although slightly worse. My dad used to drink a lot as well and he would become extremely violent after a few beers. He would always look for reasons to beat up my mother and my siblings while under the influence of alcohol. Just as you I hate alcohol because of this. My dad would beat my sister up because she didn't make the coffee good enough. When this happened she was sitting on the couch watching TV and my dad walked up to her from behind and dragged her out of the couch by pulling her ears and slapping her all over the face. Imagine my chock, a 12 year old kid back then, watching TV with my sister and all of sudden he starts beating her up.

But the one in my family who suffered the most, and still is, is my mom. She was the one to take all the crap from my father. Whenever my dad fought with my siblings and my mom was on their side he would beat her up because she didn't agree with him. I was depressed most of my high school years and never socialized outside of school because my dad wouldn't let me. I did hang out with my friends occasionally but very rarely. My dad wanted me to study every day after school for several hours. Of course back then I was so depressed and I didn't want to study because when you're depressed you really see no point in it. So what did I do? I didn't study, I didn't socialize with friends and I wasn't doing sports of any kind. My computer was my escape from the crap life I had back then. Every time after school I'd sit in front of my computer until it was bed time. The next day I would repeat the same thing. Did this help me in any way? Nope. It only made things worse. Now my dad would yell at me for spending too much time at the computer and not being social enough. This made my depression even worse. One day he beat up my mom and it was really silent and awkward in our house the following days. But the silence burst when he started yelling at me for sitting at the computer. He literally jumped out of the couch and was about to hit me but he stopped himself. I cried in bed that night and started beating myself. The next day I had bruises all over my face.

Today my siblings are all working and are living with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I stil live at home but study at university and I hate every minute of it. I'm not studying for my own good, I'm doing it for my mom and dad so they can be proud of me. My mom... well she's not happy. Occasionally maybe when the entire family is gathered and her grandchildren are visiting, but I can tell she's not happy with her life and probably hasn't been since she married that piece of shit. He has made her life a living hell including my own life.
 Quoting: Vinyard


when you marry and have kids of your own, remember this and make sure that no child of yours ever suffers what you have. make that a promise to yourself...

you need some counseling, your burden is much too heavy to carry alone, allow someone to help you, please. good luck and best wishes.
 Quoting: davvi


Yep, I tell myself this every day. When I have kids of my own I will take really good care of them. I won't spoil them but I will be a loving father who will teach them hard work, moral and responsibility.
And I'm doing pretty OK now. My siblings have moved out so the violence is not as frequent as it used to be. Every now and then he becomes very violent towards my mother but not as often as he used to. Earlier in my life when I was depressed I never stood up for myself. But now a few years later I'm beginning to mature and I can guarantee you that if my dad ever punches my mother again I will knock out his yellow misplaced teeth.
 Quoting: Vinyard


i believe you will and i believe that when you hold that little child and feel his/her love most of your own pain will disappear. my best wishes to you always. cheers

as for your father's teeth leave them in his mouth and hope he suffers a thousand cavities, lol, it would serve him right. god bless...
I am proud to be Hispanic says the Hispanic.
I am proud to be Black says the Black.
I am proud to be Asian says the Asian.
I am proud to be White says the "racist."


I never give RED karma, only GREEN for great posters. If you give me red or green please leave your name, I like to say thank you...

Leftist Jews create anti-Semitism.

Krauthammer: "If Fences Don't Work, Why Is There One Around The White House?"
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01/03/2013 09:55 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


Some of us already knew that about you. :)
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


Yep...
 Quoting: littlemiracles


Yep
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I know. You all are like psychologists or something.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Well I started college majoring in psychology. Then learned where the money was.
TOMABANEFOX
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 09:57 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Who bought your clothes ? Who fed you ? Who bought you the stuff you wanted ? Who put a roof over your head ? Who took you to the hospital when you was sick ? Who paid for your college ? Your upset because they did not surrender 100 percent of their lives to you... and you give full credit to your happiness to some shmuck who may be gone in a week .

Your a spoiled brat... loser
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


I never got sick.

You are just a troll.
Vegetable season
Vinyard

User ID: 31406938
Sweden
01/03/2013 09:57 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
i believe you will and i believe that when you hold that little child and feel his/her love most of your own pain will disappear. my best wishes to you always. cheers

as for your father's teeth leave them in his mouth and hope he suffers a thousand cavities, lol, it would serve him right. god bless...
 Quoting: davvi


Thanks for your kind words. @bold text laugh

Last Edited by Marlo Stanfield on 01/03/2013 09:57 PM
Desert FoxModerator
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01/03/2013 09:58 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Sadly, your story describes the majority of parents today.
TOMABANEFOX
davvi

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01/03/2013 09:58 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
I miss my boyfriend a lot… We decided to stay with our own parents during the vacations…. so he went back to cali and I had to stay here because my dad is doing a research and my mom wouldn't stay alone in our house because in my opinion she has dependency problems.

Since I can remember I have always been depressed… until I met my boyfriend. He kind of made all the darkness go away. I've never felt so comfortable with someone before. I can talk to him about everything and that has really helped me a lot.

During my childhood (from since I can remember to high school) I didn't really received much attention from my parents… at least not emotional attention. I mean, they would always try to please me with material things and they would always say "yes"…. but they were never really there for me.

I wanted regular parents… Parents who say "no" sometimes… parents who punish their kids when they do something that's wrong… and I did a lot of bad things.

My parents never had time for me. They were always with their friends laughing, gossiping and drinking pretty alcoholic drinks. … Maybe that's why I hate alcohol. They would always make an excuse to make a party. The holidays were my least favorite days. During the preparations for the parties my dad was always so angry because he is such a perfectionist. He would often say bad words and curse everything … even what is considered holy.

I always thought he was a huge hypocrite because he used to talk so much about religion and criticize people for doing bad things but he was exactly the same.

I hated my dad for a long time because he used to make my mom cry and I hated her for being so submissive and not doing anything. She would just cry…

They were two-faced…. When we were alone my dad would just work, work, work and practically ignore me and my brother…. and my mother did the same… and when she was not working she was gossiping (there were exceptions)….. but when their friends were around they were good loving parents….

Mom was my favorite because she used to tell us stories sometimes before going to bed and she used to be with us during school awards, plays, graduations… etc…. Dad was always too busy. I'm not sure why… I mean he is a biologist but I've seen my biology professors spend time with their family and go to their school activities…

I think they feel guilty now because my mom cries and apologize for "not being a great mother" …. and my dad has a weird way to express the same. I think it is kind of late… I mean I obviously forgive them but I will never be able to have a personal conversation with them. Honestly, I kind of avoid my dad. I love him but ….idk… I just don't like to be with him… it feels awkward.


Anyway, I think that is all. I just needed to express myself because I've been feeling kind of bad lately.

I cannot wait for the classes to start… I miss college, professors, people and my boyfriend.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


look sweetie, kids don't come with instruction manuals and there aren't any "how-to" classes for parents to take either so they muddle through it as best they can. it sounds to me like you had a pretty good life so far. your parents may not have been as attentive as you would have liked, but they saw to it that you had a lot more than some kids get.

it is a shame that most parents are still kids themsleves when their children are born. some parents are just too young emotionally themselves to have kids but it still happens. it is too bad that we aren't born old and experienced and then get to go backwards. by the time we are young enough to have kids we would have all the wisdom needed to be good parents.

be grateful for what you have. accept your parent's apologies and move forward...you are a lucky girl.
 Quoting: davvi


Yes, I was kind of fortunate even though I didn't have their attention... the material stuff did make me feel better for a while cause it felt like attention...

I forgave them and I love them ... it's just that I can't really have a personal conversations with them now.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


when i was your age i sure didn't have anything to say to my parents, now i am a little older and talking to them is easier, not always fun, but easier, lol. maybe in a few years. good luck.
I am proud to be Hispanic says the Hispanic.
I am proud to be Black says the Black.
I am proud to be Asian says the Asian.
I am proud to be White says the "racist."


I never give RED karma, only GREEN for great posters. If you give me red or green please leave your name, I like to say thank you...

Leftist Jews create anti-Semitism.

Krauthammer: "If Fences Don't Work, Why Is There One Around The White House?"
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

User ID: 9622370
Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 09:58 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


Yep...
 Quoting: littlemiracles


Yep
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I know. You all are like psychologists or something.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Well I started college majoring in psychology. Then learned where the money was.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I wanted to be a psychologist but everyone thought I needed to study something harder.
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 09:58 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Who bought your clothes ? Who fed you ? Who bought you the stuff you wanted ? Who put a roof over your head ? Who took you to the hospital when you was sick ? Who paid for your college ? Your upset because they did not surrender 100 percent of their lives to you... and you give full credit to your happiness to some shmuck who may be gone in a week .

Your a spoiled brat... loser
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


I never got sick.

You are just a troll.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


y tu eres una cabrona.. si tu fuera mi hija yo te mandaria para el carajo.... mala agradecia
davvi

User ID: 3677166
United States
01/03/2013 09:59 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
i believe you will and i believe that when you hold that little child and feel his/her love most of your own pain will disappear. my best wishes to you always. cheers

as for your father's teeth leave them in his mouth and hope he suffers a thousand cavities, lol, it would serve him right. god bless...
 Quoting: davvi


Thanks for your kind words. @bold text laugh
 Quoting: Vinyard


slols
I am proud to be Hispanic says the Hispanic.
I am proud to be Black says the Black.
I am proud to be Asian says the Asian.
I am proud to be White says the "racist."


I never give RED karma, only GREEN for great posters. If you give me red or green please leave your name, I like to say thank you...

Leftist Jews create anti-Semitism.

Krauthammer: "If Fences Don't Work, Why Is There One Around The White House?"
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

User ID: 9622370
Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 09:59 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
I miss my boyfriend a lot… We decided to stay with our own parents during the vacations…. so he went back to cali and I had to stay here because my dad is doing a research and my mom wouldn't stay alone in our house because in my opinion she has dependency problems.

Since I can remember I have always been depressed… until I met my boyfriend. He kind of made all the darkness go away. I've never felt so comfortable with someone before. I can talk to him about everything and that has really helped me a lot.

During my childhood (from since I can remember to high school) I didn't really received much attention from my parents… at least not emotional attention. I mean, they would always try to please me with material things and they would always say "yes"…. but they were never really there for me.

I wanted regular parents… Parents who say "no" sometimes… parents who punish their kids when they do something that's wrong… and I did a lot of bad things.

My parents never had time for me. They were always with their friends laughing, gossiping and drinking pretty alcoholic drinks. … Maybe that's why I hate alcohol. They would always make an excuse to make a party. The holidays were my least favorite days. During the preparations for the parties my dad was always so angry because he is such a perfectionist. He would often say bad words and curse everything … even what is considered holy.

I always thought he was a huge hypocrite because he used to talk so much about religion and criticize people for doing bad things but he was exactly the same.

I hated my dad for a long time because he used to make my mom cry and I hated her for being so submissive and not doing anything. She would just cry…

They were two-faced…. When we were alone my dad would just work, work, work and practically ignore me and my brother…. and my mother did the same… and when she was not working she was gossiping (there were exceptions)….. but when their friends were around they were good loving parents….

Mom was my favorite because she used to tell us stories sometimes before going to bed and she used to be with us during school awards, plays, graduations… etc…. Dad was always too busy. I'm not sure why… I mean he is a biologist but I've seen my biology professors spend time with their family and go to their school activities…

I think they feel guilty now because my mom cries and apologize for "not being a great mother" …. and my dad has a weird way to express the same. I think it is kind of late… I mean I obviously forgive them but I will never be able to have a personal conversation with them. Honestly, I kind of avoid my dad. I love him but ….idk… I just don't like to be with him… it feels awkward.


Anyway, I think that is all. I just needed to express myself because I've been feeling kind of bad lately.

I cannot wait for the classes to start… I miss college, professors, people and my boyfriend.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


look sweetie, kids don't come with instruction manuals and there aren't any "how-to" classes for parents to take either so they muddle through it as best they can. it sounds to me like you had a pretty good life so far. your parents may not have been as attentive as you would have liked, but they saw to it that you had a lot more than some kids get.

it is a shame that most parents are still kids themsleves when their children are born. some parents are just too young emotionally themselves to have kids but it still happens. it is too bad that we aren't born old and experienced and then get to go backwards. by the time we are young enough to have kids we would have all the wisdom needed to be good parents.

be grateful for what you have. accept your parent's apologies and move forward...you are a lucky girl.
 Quoting: davvi


Yes, I was kind of fortunate even though I didn't have their attention... the material stuff did make me feel better for a while cause it felt like attention...

I forgave them and I love them ... it's just that I can't really have a personal conversations with them now.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


when i was your age i sure didn't have anything to say to my parents, now i am a little older and talking to them is easier, not always fun, but easier, lol. maybe in a few years. good luck.
 Quoting: davvi



Yeah maybe in a few years
Vegetable season
Desert FoxModerator
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01/03/2013 09:59 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


Yep
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I know. You all are like psychologists or something.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Well I started college majoring in psychology. Then learned where the money was.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


Casinos?
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes

BINGO!!! good answer.
TOMABANEFOX
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01/03/2013 10:00 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


Yep
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I know. You all are like psychologists or something.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Well I started college majoring in psychology. Then learned where the money was.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I wanted to be a psychologist but everyone thought I needed to study something harder.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


How you gonna treat people as a psycologist if you yourself are mental...huh ?
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

User ID: 9622370
Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 10:00 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Sadly, your story describes the majority of parents today.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


Yes.
Vegetable season
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

User ID: 9622370
Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 10:01 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


I know. You all are like psychologists or something.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Well I started college majoring in psychology. Then learned where the money was.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I wanted to be a psychologist but everyone thought I needed to study something harder.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


How you gonna treat people as a psycologist if you yourself are mental...huh ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


I'm totally sane.

I also wanted to be a nutritionist.
Vegetable season
davvi

User ID: 3677166
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01/03/2013 10:01 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Sadly, your story describes the majority of parents today.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


cheers DF, and you're right.
I am proud to be Hispanic says the Hispanic.
I am proud to be Black says the Black.
I am proud to be Asian says the Asian.
I am proud to be White says the "racist."


I never give RED karma, only GREEN for great posters. If you give me red or green please leave your name, I like to say thank you...

Leftist Jews create anti-Semitism.

Krauthammer: "If Fences Don't Work, Why Is There One Around The White House?"
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
01/03/2013 10:01 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
During my childhood (from since I can remember to high school) I didn't really received much attention from my parents… at least not emotional attention.

My parents never had time for me.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Some of us already knew that about you. :)
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


Yep...
 Quoting: littlemiracles


Yep
 Quoting: Desert Fox


yep
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

User ID: 9622370
Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 10:01 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Who bought your clothes ? Who fed you ? Who bought you the stuff you wanted ? Who put a roof over your head ? Who took you to the hospital when you was sick ? Who paid for your college ? Your upset because they did not surrender 100 percent of their lives to you... and you give full credit to your happiness to some shmuck who may be gone in a week .

Your a spoiled brat... loser
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


I never got sick.

You are just a troll.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


y tu eres una cabrona.. si tu fuera mi hija yo te mandaria para el carajo.... mala agradecia
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


Hhahahahhahaha .... It's "fueras" and "mal agradecida"

Last Edited by Barbara P. Strigoi on 01/03/2013 10:03 PM
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 10:01 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


Well I started college majoring in psychology. Then learned where the money was.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I wanted to be a psychologist but everyone thought I needed to study something harder.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


How you gonna treat people as a psycologist if you yourself are mental...huh ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


I'm totally sane.

I also wanted to be a nutritionist.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


idiota...mala hija
davvi

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United States
01/03/2013 10:02 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Sadly, your story describes the majority of parents today.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


cheers DF, and you're right too many parents with too much to do now.
I am proud to be Hispanic says the Hispanic.
I am proud to be Black says the Black.
I am proud to be Asian says the Asian.
I am proud to be White says the "racist."


I never give RED karma, only GREEN for great posters. If you give me red or green please leave your name, I like to say thank you...

Leftist Jews create anti-Semitism.

Krauthammer: "If Fences Don't Work, Why Is There One Around The White House?"
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

User ID: 9622370
Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 10:04 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


I wanted to be a psychologist but everyone thought I needed to study something harder.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


How you gonna treat people as a psycologist if you yourself are mental...huh ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


I'm totally sane.

I also wanted to be a nutritionist.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


idiota...mala hija
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


Are you my father?
Vegetable season
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

User ID: 9622370
Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 10:07 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Are you my father?
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Call me Papi
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


LOL
Vegetable season
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 10:08 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
My karma bar will be green soon. :)
Vegetable season
KonaCoffee

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01/03/2013 10:09 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Ok. Here's something for you to take in. And I hope that you do....



ALL you can do is get away from what hurts, enjoy and create what makes you happy, and forgive as best as your heart allows with time. And NEVER repeat bad behavior when starting your own family. It's such an easy recipe.

It's really that simple. It's the grown ups, the ones with the means to leave the crap and WON'T. I don't get that at ALL. As soon as I had the means to, I left the bullshit and went on my own, found my own friends and a man that appreciated me, and left the abuse at home. It goes for men who have been abused as well...or forgotten with neglect. Don't repeat the process in the relationships you foster. Find what you know will be good for you, and possibly the kids you may raise in the future.

I think I have seen my father a total of one dozen times since I was 23, and Mom about 8 times. I'm almost 50. I haven't missed shit. THEY have. Tough. I invited on my own terms, which were so very simple. Just that you come see us all, only no abuse, verbal physical or otherwise. EVER. That was really my only rule. Guess that was too much to ask.

I can imagine it does feels awkward. For healthy relationships among kids and parents, it really doesn't feel awkward at all. Parents, oftentimes, just go through the same learning process as we do as being their kids...we just correct the screw ups as we continue on with our own families, hopefully.

Just don't repeat the same mistakes, make a vow to yourself that you won't, and all will be well in the future. Just allow yourself permission for that power, and all will be right in your world.

Last Edited by KonaCoffee on 01/03/2013 10:11 PM
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness"__
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My nickname is Eileen Toodaleft.
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01/03/2013 10:15 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


How you gonna treat people as a psycologist if you yourself are mental...huh ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


I'm totally sane.

I also wanted to be a nutritionist.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


idiota...mala hija
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


Are you my father?
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


You should always love and respect your parents no matter what...it shows great character..

si tu fuere mi hija te caigo a correaso limpio asta que apprendas no ser rebelde
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31377473
Japan
01/03/2013 10:15 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Um...based on your avatar, you are incredibly beautiful, just sayin'. And you seem to be a sensitive and intelligent person. I hope your boyfriend treats you right and knows how lucky he is.