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My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...

 
Desert FoxModerator
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Sadly, your story describes the majority of parents today.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


cheers DF, and you're right too many parents with too much to do now.
 Quoting: davvi


TV and video games are the new parent, keeps the kids quiet and out of their selfish life style. Much to the demise of the child.
TOMABANEFOX
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:16 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Ok. Here's something for you to take in. And I hope that you do....



ALL you can do is get away from what hurts, enjoy and create what makes you happy, and forgive as best as your heart allows with time. And NEVER repeat bad behavior when starting your own family. It's such an easy recipe.

It's really that simple. It's the grown ups, the ones with the means to leave the crap and WON'T. I don't get that at ALL. As soon as I had the means to, I left the bullshit and went on my own, found my own friends and a man that appreciated me, and left the abuse at home. It goes for men who have been abused as well...or forgotten with neglect. Don't repeat the process in the relationships you foster. Find what you know will be good for you, and possibly the kids you may raise in the future.

I think I have seen my father a total of one dozen times since I was 23, and Mom about 8 times. I'm almost 50. I haven't missed shit. THEY have. Tough. I invited on my own terms, which were so very simple. Just that you come see us all, only no abuse, verbal physical or otherwise. EVER. That was really my only rule. Guess that was too much to ask.

I can imagine it does feels awkward. For healthy relationships among kids and parents, it really doesn't feel awkward at all. Parents, oftentimes, just go through the same learning process as we do as being their kids...we just correct the screw ups as we continue on with our own families, hopefully.

Just don't repeat the same mistakes, make a vow to yourself that you won't, and all will be well in the future. Just allow yourself permission for that power, and all will be right in your world.
 Quoting: KonaCoffee


Thank you for taking the time to write. I think I will be a great mother. Hopefully . :)
Vegetable season
stella stevens

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01/03/2013 10:17 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
You had a better child hood than most.
seems like you have a pretty good life now.
your not starving or cold have access to cash.

seems your parents weren't perfect, but did the best they
knew how.
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:17 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


I'm totally sane.

I also wanted to be a nutritionist.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


idiota...mala hija
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


Are you my father?
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


You should always love and respect your parents no matter what...it shows great character..

si tu fuere mi hija te caigo a correaso limpio asta que apprendas no ser rebelde
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503



HAHAHAHA my parents would never hit me.


I do love them.
Vegetable season
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

User ID: 9622370
Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 10:18 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Um...based on your avatar, you are incredibly beautiful, just sayin'. And you seem to be a sensitive and intelligent person. I hope your boyfriend treats you right and knows how lucky he is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31377473


Thank you :)
Vegetable season
KonaCoffee

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01/03/2013 10:19 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Ok. Here's something for you to take in. And I hope that you do....



ALL you can do is get away from what hurts, enjoy and create what makes you happy, and forgive as best as your heart allows with time. And NEVER repeat bad behavior when starting your own family. It's such an easy recipe.

It's really that simple. It's the grown ups, the ones with the means to leave the crap and WON'T. I don't get that at ALL. As soon as I had the means to, I left the bullshit and went on my own, found my own friends and a man that appreciated me, and left the abuse at home. It goes for men who have been abused as well...or forgotten with neglect. Don't repeat the process in the relationships you foster. Find what you know will be good for you, and possibly the kids you may raise in the future.

I think I have seen my father a total of one dozen times since I was 23, and Mom about 8 times. I'm almost 50. I haven't missed shit. THEY have. Tough. I invited on my own terms, which were so very simple. Just that you come see us all, only no abuse, verbal physical or otherwise. EVER. That was really my only rule. Guess that was too much to ask.

I can imagine it does feels awkward. For healthy relationships among kids and parents, it really doesn't feel awkward at all. Parents, oftentimes, just go through the same learning process as we do as being their kids...we just correct the screw ups as we continue on with our own families, hopefully.

Just don't repeat the same mistakes, make a vow to yourself that you won't, and all will be well in the future. Just allow yourself permission for that power, and all will be right in your world.
 Quoting: KonaCoffee


Thank you for taking the time to write. I think I will be a great mother. Hopefully . :)
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


aw, just be aware when you make the decision to parent, barbara. You will be fine. Just wait till the time is good, and go for it! You will know. I was blessed with awesome kids, so will you I'm sure. Just appreciate them and vow to do a little better than your own parents. That's all....
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness"__
Mark Twain, 19th century American Author (and genius as far as I'm concerned.)

My nickname is Eileen Toodaleft.
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:20 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Sadly, your story describes the majority of parents today.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


cheers DF, and you're right too many parents with too much to do now.
 Quoting: davvi


TV and video games are the new parent, keeps the kids quiet and out of their selfish life style. Much to the demise of the child.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I learned a lot of things from the TV ... Barney, discovery kids, bob teh constructor .... there are many nice tv shows for kids.
Vegetable season
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:21 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
You had a better child hood than most.
seems like you have a pretty good life now.
your not starving or cold have access to cash.

seems your parents weren't perfect, but did the best they
knew how.
 Quoting: stella stevens


Yeah :)
Vegetable season
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:23 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Ok. Here's something for you to take in. And I hope that you do....



ALL you can do is get away from what hurts, enjoy and create what makes you happy, and forgive as best as your heart allows with time. And NEVER repeat bad behavior when starting your own family. It's such an easy recipe.

It's really that simple. It's the grown ups, the ones with the means to leave the crap and WON'T. I don't get that at ALL. As soon as I had the means to, I left the bullshit and went on my own, found my own friends and a man that appreciated me, and left the abuse at home. It goes for men who have been abused as well...or forgotten with neglect. Don't repeat the process in the relationships you foster. Find what you know will be good for you, and possibly the kids you may raise in the future.

I think I have seen my father a total of one dozen times since I was 23, and Mom about 8 times. I'm almost 50. I haven't missed shit. THEY have. Tough. I invited on my own terms, which were so very simple. Just that you come see us all, only no abuse, verbal physical or otherwise. EVER. That was really my only rule. Guess that was too much to ask.

I can imagine it does feels awkward. For healthy relationships among kids and parents, it really doesn't feel awkward at all. Parents, oftentimes, just go through the same learning process as we do as being their kids...we just correct the screw ups as we continue on with our own families, hopefully.

Just don't repeat the same mistakes, make a vow to yourself that you won't, and all will be well in the future. Just allow yourself permission for that power, and all will be right in your world.
 Quoting: KonaCoffee


Thank you for taking the time to write. I think I will be a great mother. Hopefully . :)
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


aw, just be aware when you make the decision to parent, barbara. You will be fine. Just wait till the time is good, and go for it! You will know. I was blessed with awesome kids, so will you I'm sure. Just appreciate them and vow to do a little better than your own parents. That's all....
 Quoting: KonaCoffee


:)
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 10:23 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
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idiota...mala hija
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


Are you my father?
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


You should always love and respect your parents no matter what...it shows great character..

si tu fuere mi hija te caigo a correaso limpio asta que apprendas no ser rebelde
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503



HAHAHAHA my parents would never hit me.


I do love them.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


maybe thats why your a spoiled brat... i woulda put belt to that ass
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 10:24 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Sad story but it seems like you found your soul mate there! I'm glad for you. I also grew up in similar conditions although slightly worse. My dad used to drink a lot as well and he would become extremely violent after a few beers. He would always look for reasons to beat up my mother and my siblings while under the influence of alcohol. Just as you I hate alcohol because of this. My dad would beat my sister up because she didn't make the coffee good enough. When this happened she was sitting on the couch watching TV and my dad walked up to her from behind and dragged her out of the couch by pulling her ears and slapping her all over the face. Imagine my chock, a 12 year old kid back then, watching TV with my sister and all of sudden he starts beating her up.

But the one in my family who suffered the most, and still is, is my mom. She was the one to take all the crap from my father. Whenever my dad fought with my siblings and my mom was on their side he would beat her up because she didn't agree with him. I was depressed most of my high school years and never socialized outside of school because my dad wouldn't let me. I did hang out with my friends occasionally but very rarely. My dad wanted me to study every day after school for several hours. Of course back then I was so depressed and I didn't want to study because when you're depressed you really see no point in it. So what did I do? I didn't study, I didn't socialize with friends and I wasn't doing sports of any kind. My computer was my escape from the crap life I had back then. Every time after school I'd sit in front of my computer until it was bed time. The next day I would repeat the same thing. Did this help me in any way? Nope. It only made things worse. Now my dad would yell at me for spending too much time at the computer and not being social enough. This made my depression even worse. One day he beat up my mom and it was really silent and awkward in our house the following days. But the silence burst when he started yelling at me for sitting at the computer. He literally jumped out of the couch and was about to hit me but he stopped himself. I cried in bed that night and started beating myself. The next day I had bruises all over my face.

Today my siblings are all working and are living with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I stil live at home but study at university and I hate every minute of it. I'm not studying for my own good, I'm doing it for my mom and dad so they can be proud of me. My mom... well she's not happy. Occasionally maybe when the entire family is gathered and her grandchildren are visiting, but I can tell she's not happy with her life and probably hasn't been since she married that piece of shit. He has made her life a living hell including my own life.
 Quoting: Vinyard


when you marry and have kids of your own, remember this and make sure that no child of yours ever suffers what you have. make that a promise to yourself...

you need some counseling, your burden is much too heavy to carry alone, allow someone to help you, please. good luck and best wishes.
 Quoting: davvi


Yep, I tell myself this every day. When I have kids of my own I will take really good care of them. I won't spoil them but I will be a loving father who will teach them hard work, moral and responsibility.
And I'm doing pretty OK now. My siblings have moved out so the violence is not as frequent as it used to be. Every now and then he becomes very violent towards my mother but not as often as he used to. Earlier in my life when I was depressed I never stood up for myself. But now a few years later I'm beginning to mature and I can guarantee you that if my dad ever punches my mother again I will knock out his yellow misplaced teeth.
 Quoting: Vinyard

I'm a guy whose parents had a good and stable marriage. They were good parents. There are no perfect parents, but they were wonderful. They are gone now. I am raising my own family. My wife and I have a stable family, I think we are good parents, maybe not quite as good as my parents were, but maybe better than hers.

And let me say, having a family can be a very complex thing these days. There are a lot of forces that can sabotage it. First of all you need a reliable partnership between the parents. Not a perfect partnership. Anything that works is well above average these days, and every marriage is different and its own story. Consider yourself lucky that your parents don't divorce, it's the easy way out these days. Then you get a lot of heartbreak, and a step-parent which is a very weird thing to make work and never really gets better.

Then there are the pressures that come with having kids. If husband and wife don't securely love each other, they'll never survive the added stress of having kids. That even ruins a lot of good marriages.

Among those pressures are those that come with schools and related agendas. What if you have a disable kid? What if you wonder if the kid might not be disabled if you didn't vaccinate him? What if the school puts your kid in some sort of shit because he or she makes a pistol with his hand in 2nd grade?

You need God's help to do it at all these days, really only the strong survive and it requires more strength than probably anyone has alone.

So kids, don't be so hard on your parents. Frankly, we'll see if you do better, or worse, even with the best of intentions. My sincere best wishes for good luck and wisdom.
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01/03/2013 10:24 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Sadly, your story describes the majority of parents today.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


cheers DF, and you're right too many parents with too much to do now.
 Quoting: davvi


TV and video games are the new parent, keeps the kids quiet and out of their selfish life style. Much to the demise of the child.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I learned a lot of things from the TV ... Barney, discovery kids, bob teh constructor .... there are many nice tv shows for kids.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Yes, but not used as baby sitters.
TOMABANEFOX
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:24 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


Are you my father?
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


You should always love and respect your parents no matter what...it shows great character..

si tu fuere mi hija te caigo a correaso limpio asta que apprendas no ser rebelde
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503



HAHAHAHA my parents would never hit me.


I do love them.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


maybe thats why your a spoiled brat... i woulda put belt to that ass
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


Because You are a HORRIBLE father.... I'm glad your not my dad. I would hate you.
Vegetable season
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:25 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


cheers DF, and you're right too many parents with too much to do now.
 Quoting: davvi


TV and video games are the new parent, keeps the kids quiet and out of their selfish life style. Much to the demise of the child.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I learned a lot of things from the TV ... Barney, discovery kids, bob teh constructor .... there are many nice tv shows for kids.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Yes, but not used as baby sitters.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


Sometimes...
Vegetable season
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:27 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
If you keep giving me red karma I will never have a green bar ! Stop it ! redface
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 10:27 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


You should always love and respect your parents no matter what...it shows great character..

si tu fuere mi hija te caigo a correaso limpio asta que apprendas no ser rebelde
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503



HAHAHAHA my parents would never hit me.


I do love them.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


maybe thats why your a spoiled brat... i woulda put belt to that ass
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


Because You are a HORRIBLE father.... I'm glad your not my dad. I would hate you.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Im not a father yet ..but i allready bought the leather belt and its hanging on a nail on the wall.
stella stevens

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01/03/2013 10:29 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
You had a better child hood than most.
seems like you have a pretty good life now.
your not starving or cold have access to cash.

seems your parents weren't perfect, but did the best they
knew how.
 Quoting: stella stevens


Yeah :)
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


my childhood and youth was filled with
hate and violence, drug and alcohol abuse,
no food, no heat, lights telephone or water.
no father in the picture but still lots of
physical and sexual abuse.

no love whatsoever
i have been filled with shame and depression
my whole life.
that's why i say you seem to have it
better than most. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything.
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

User ID: 9622370
Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 10:31 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...



HAHAHAHA my parents would never hit me.


I do love them.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


maybe thats why your a spoiled brat... i woulda put belt to that ass
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


Because You are a HORRIBLE father.... I'm glad your not my dad. I would hate you.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Im not a father yet ..but i allready bought the leather belt and its hanging on a nail on the wall.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


You are horrible! Beating up a kid is not a solution.

Why is there a nail on your wall?
Vegetable season
Desert FoxModerator
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01/03/2013 10:31 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
You had a better child hood than most.
seems like you have a pretty good life now.
your not starving or cold have access to cash.

seems your parents weren't perfect, but did the best they
knew how.
 Quoting: stella stevens


Yeah :)
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


my childhood and youth was filled with
hate and violence, drug and alcohol abuse,
no food, no heat, lights telephone or water.
no father in the picture but still lots of
physical and sexual abuse.

no love whatsoever
i have been filled with shame and depression
my whole life.
that's why i say you seem to have it
better than most. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything.
 Quoting: stella stevens


verysad
TOMABANEFOX
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01/03/2013 10:31 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Childhood can be rough, whether it is deep down in the subconscious, or seeking its way into your daily life.
I have fond memories of my father, intoxicated, and high, beating my mother, before he'd beat me and my brother.
Or, when my mother would run around the neighborhood with a pistol to her head, while we waited for her to pull the trigger.
Or the closet our babysitter used to throw us in, before he'd come in and satisfy his sickened perversions..
We've all got demons, girl.

Some of us have grown to let them go, and I hope you get there.
You can't blame you're parents for not being perfect, because you will not be a perfect parent when it is your turn. I thought I would be as well. I'm doing my best to make sure my children will never see the shit I did.
That's all one can hope.
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 10:32 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


maybe thats why your a spoiled brat... i woulda put belt to that ass
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


Because You are a HORRIBLE father.... I'm glad your not my dad. I would hate you.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Im not a father yet ..but i allready bought the leather belt and its hanging on a nail on the wall.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


You are horrible! Beating up a kid is not a solution.

Why is there a nail on your wall?
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


to hang the belt on estupida
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 10:33 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Your posts are fucking retarded.

Seriously...all of them.
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

User ID: 9622370
Puerto Rico
01/03/2013 10:33 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
You had a better child hood than most.
seems like you have a pretty good life now.
your not starving or cold have access to cash.

seems your parents weren't perfect, but did the best they
knew how.
 Quoting: stella stevens


Yeah :)
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


my childhood and youth was filled with
hate and violence, drug and alcohol abuse,
no food, no heat, lights telephone or water.
no father in the picture but still lots of
physical and sexual abuse.

no love whatsoever
i have been filled with shame and depression
my whole life.
that's why i say you seem to have it
better than most. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything.
 Quoting: stella stevens


Oh, I understand. That was probably a horrible experience...
I shouldn't be complaining so much... I know a lot of people had worse experiences.
Vegetable season
Anonymous Coward
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01/03/2013 10:34 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
During my childhood (from since I can remember to high school) I didn't really received much attention from my parents… at least not emotional attention.

My parents never had time for me.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Some of us already knew that about you. :)
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


cruise
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:34 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Your posts are fucking retarded.

Seriously...all of them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12404937


why? , TROLL.
Vegetable season
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:35 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
...


Because You are a HORRIBLE father.... I'm glad your not my dad. I would hate you.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Im not a father yet ..but i allready bought the leather belt and its hanging on a nail on the wall.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


You are horrible! Beating up a kid is not a solution.

Why is there a nail on your wall?
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


to hang the belt on estupida
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26311503


Don't you have a closet?
Vegetable season
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:37 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Childhood can be rough, whether it is deep down in the subconscious, or seeking its way into your daily life.
I have fond memories of my father, intoxicated, and high, beating my mother, before he'd beat me and my brother.
Or, when my mother would run around the neighborhood with a pistol to her head, while we waited for her to pull the trigger.
Or the closet our babysitter used to throw us in, before he'd come in and satisfy his sickened perversions..
We've all got demons, girl.

Some of us have grown to let them go, and I hope you get there.
You can't blame you're parents for not being perfect, because you will not be a perfect parent when it is your turn. I thought I would be as well. I'm doing my best to make sure my children will never see the shit I did.
That's all one can hope.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6757239


Well good luck :)
I know I shouldn't be complaining

Hopefully I'll be a good parent.
Vegetable season
Desert FoxModerator
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01/03/2013 10:37 PM

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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Your posts are fucking retarded.

Seriously...all of them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12404937


why? , TROLL.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Just use your anti troll button on your left.
TOMABANEFOX
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01/03/2013 10:38 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
This is the moment when I realised I wasn't the only attractive person posting on glp. Wow. Thank god. Long live attractive people, yeah?
Barbara P. Strigoi (OP)

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01/03/2013 10:38 PM
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Re: My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this...
Your posts are fucking retarded.

Seriously...all of them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12404937


why? , TROLL.
 Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi


Just use your anti troll button on your left.
 Quoting: Desert Fox


What button ?
Vegetable season

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