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| 08:09 PM | ||
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| Pageviews Today: 2,116,701 | Threads Today: 856 | Posts Today: 15,101 |
| 08:09 PM | ||
My parents ... not sure why I'm posting this... | |
| Barbara P. Strigoi Offer Upgrade  User ID: 26473880  Puerto Rico01/03/2013 08:21 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 31406938  Denmark01/03/2013 08:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sad story but it seems like you found your soul mate there! I'm glad for you. I also grew up in similar conditions although slightly worse. My dad used to drink a lot as well and he would become extremely violent after a few beers. He would always look for reasons to beat up my mother and my siblings while under the influence of alcohol. Just as you I hate alcohol because of this. My dad would beat my sister up because she didn't make the coffee good enough. When this happened she was sitting on the couch watching TV and my dad walked up to her from behind and dragged her out of the couch by pulling her ears and slapping her all over the face. Imagine my chock, a 12 year old kid back then, watching TV with my sister and all of sudden he starts beating her up. But the one in my family who suffered the most, and still is, is my mom. She was the one to take all the crap from my father. Whenever my dad fought with my siblings and my mom was on their side he would beat her up because she didn't agree with him. I was depressed most of my high school years and never socialized outside of school because my dad wouldn't let me. I did hang out with my friends occasionally but very rarely. My dad wanted me to study every day after school for several hours. Of course back then I was so depressed and I didn't want to study because when you're depressed you really see no point in it. So what did I do? I didn't study, I didn't socialize with friends and I wasn't doing sports of any kind. My computer was my escape from the crap life I had back then. Every time after school I'd sit in front of my computer until it was bed time. The next day I would repeat the same thing. Did this help me in any way? Nope. It only made things worse. Now my dad would yell at me for spending too much time at the computer and not being social enough. This made my depression even worse. One day he beat up my mom and it was really silent and awkward in our house the following days. But the silence burst when he started yelling at me for sitting at the computer. He literally jumped out of the couch and was about to hit me but he stopped himself. I cried in bed that night and started beating myself. The next day I had bruises all over my face. Today my siblings are all working and are living with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I stil live at home but study at university and I hate every minute of it. I'm not studying for my own good, I'm doing it for my mom and dad so they can be proud of me. My mom... well she's not happy. Occasionally maybe when the entire family is gathered and her grandchildren are visiting, but I can tell she's not happy with her life and probably hasn't been since she married that piece of shit. He has made her life a living hell including my own life. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 31433876  Australia01/03/2013 08:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 31433876 Australia01/03/2013 08:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | if youre 20yo how come youre still thinking you have to be where they are? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31433876 your parents i mean-i gather theyre paying for your education, and that you obviously dont have a big friends base to go stay with other people,but i just dont get why a 20yo is still thinking she has to be getting carted around by her parents and doint their life like a 12yo? |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 28837935  United States01/03/2013 08:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | True happiness comes from within you -- in the end, not even parents or boyfriends can give you all the "emotional" attention you need to give you true happiness. Stop looking outside of yourself. Your parents are imperfect people and at least your mom fessed up to as much so you can heal from that. True Happiness comes from inside you and travels out into the world. I hope that makes some sense or gives you some direction. |
| Ellusion User ID: 30964615  Canada01/03/2013 08:47 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | my parents divorced when i was 5 they were always fighting , the violence i seen. both of my parents were married 3 times each. i was the mother to my mother, lets just say i never had much of a childhood. but im thankful for what i had it stengthened me. one day at a time :) 143 |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 31442973  Ireland01/03/2013 08:54 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 5244835 United States01/03/2013 09:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was young and beautiful once too. I can not imagine having to go through the crap you have here on glp at your age, it is hard enough for me at age over 50. They will hate you for being young smart and beautiful. And thank you for the good beauty advice. You are right, I was already doing all that. You are a nice beauty expert by example. |
| scimitar User ID: 22402656 United States01/03/2013 09:09 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ....... This too shall pass...... One important thing to learn......... It is not important to master it........ Just try. When you are in a circumstance that is out of the realm of your liking, allow it to pass through you and not stick in your thoughts. Like yourself enough to be okay alone. I mean by that to attempt to occupy yourself with things that you alone create and control. Imagination is your friend...... Not using it to escape, but picture in your mind what you want to accomplish. ;^) Ominous regressions One Truth... many realities |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 30600228 United States01/03/2013 09:09 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sometimes, sadly, the child has to be the adult. You're beautiful, insightful and have a good head on your shoulders. Accept your parents for what they are, what they give...and forgive them for the rest. You're a smart girl, rely on yourself and cherish that boyfriend. |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sad story but it seems like you found your soul mate there! I'm glad for you. I also grew up in similar conditions although slightly worse. My dad used to drink a lot as well and he would become extremely violent after a few beers. He would always look for reasons to beat up my mother and my siblings while under the influence of alcohol. Just as you I hate alcohol because of this. My dad would beat my sister up because she didn't make the coffee good enough. When this happened she was sitting on the couch watching TV and my dad walked up to her from behind and dragged her out of the couch by pulling her ears and slapping her all over the face. Imagine my chock, a 12 year old kid back then, watching TV with my sister and all of sudden he starts beating her up. Quoting: Vinyard But the one in my family who suffered the most, and still is, is my mom. She was the one to take all the crap from my father. Whenever my dad fought with my siblings and my mom was on their side he would beat her up because she didn't agree with him. I was depressed most of my high school years and never socialized outside of school because my dad wouldn't let me. I did hang out with my friends occasionally but very rarely. My dad wanted me to study every day after school for several hours. Of course back then I was so depressed and I didn't want to study because when you're depressed you really see no point in it. So what did I do? I didn't study, I didn't socialize with friends and I wasn't doing sports of any kind. My computer was my escape from the crap life I had back then. Every time after school I'd sit in front of my computer until it was bed time. The next day I would repeat the same thing. Did this help me in any way? Nope. It only made things worse. Now my dad would yell at me for spending too much time at the computer and not being social enough. This made my depression even worse. One day he beat up my mom and it was really silent and awkward in our house the following days. But the silence burst when he started yelling at me for sitting at the computer. He literally jumped out of the couch and was about to hit me but he stopped himself. I cried in bed that night and started beating myself. The next day I had bruises all over my face. Today my siblings are all working and are living with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I stil live at home but study at university and I hate every minute of it. I'm not studying for my own good, I'm doing it for my mom and dad so they can be proud of me. My mom... well she's not happy. Occasionally maybe when the entire family is gathered and her grandchildren are visiting, but I can tell she's not happy with her life and probably hasn't been since she married that piece of shit. He has made her life a living hell including my own life. WOW... Your case was a lot worse. My dad never did that but he would tell her things sometimes... and he is extremely jealous. Why did your mother stay with your dad? |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 30235756 Canada01/03/2013 09:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:21 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | True happiness comes from within you -- in the end, not even parents or boyfriends can give you all the "emotional" attention you need to give you true happiness. Stop looking outside of yourself. Your parents are imperfect people and at least your mom fessed up to as much so you can heal from that. True Happiness comes from inside you and travels out into the world. I hope that makes some sense or gives you some direction. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28837935 Yes, I do understand what you mean. I'm not depressed anymore ... I think have grown inside. |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was young and beautiful once too. I can not imagine having to go through the crap you have here on glp at your age, it is hard enough for me at age over 50. They will hate you for being young smart and beautiful. And thank you for the good beauty advice. You are right, I was already doing all that. You are a nice beauty expert by example. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5244835 Thank you :) |
| davvi User ID: 3677166 United States01/03/2013 09:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I miss my boyfriend a lot… We decided to stay with our own parents during the vacations…. so he went back to cali and I had to stay here because my dad is doing a research and my mom wouldn't stay alone in our house because in my opinion she has dependency problems. Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi Since I can remember I have always been depressed… until I met my boyfriend. He kind of made all the darkness go away. I've never felt so comfortable with someone before. I can talk to him about everything and that has really helped me a lot. During my childhood (from since I can remember to high school) I didn't really received much attention from my parents… at least not emotional attention. I mean, they would always try to please me with material things and they would always say "yes"…. but they were never really there for me. I wanted regular parents… Parents who say "no" sometimes… parents who punish their kids when they do something that's wrong… and I did a lot of bad things. My parents never had time for me. They were always with their friends laughing, gossiping and drinking pretty alcoholic drinks. … Maybe that's why I hate alcohol. They would always make an excuse to make a party. The holidays were my least favorite days. During the preparations for the parties my dad was always so angry because he is such a perfectionist. He would often say bad words and curse everything … even what is considered holy. I always thought he was a huge hypocrite because he used to talk so much about religion and criticize people for doing bad things but he was exactly the same. I hated my dad for a long time because he used to make my mom cry and I hated her for being so submissive and not doing anything. She would just cry… They were two-faced…. When we were alone my dad would just work, work, work and practically ignore me and my brother…. and my mother did the same… and when she was not working she was gossiping (there were exceptions)….. but when their friends were around they were good loving parents…. Mom was my favorite because she used to tell us stories sometimes before going to bed and she used to be with us during school awards, plays, graduations… etc…. Dad was always too busy. I'm not sure why… I mean he is a biologist but I've seen my biology professors spend time with their family and go to their school activities… I think they feel guilty now because my mom cries and apologize for "not being a great mother" …. and my dad has a weird way to express the same. I think it is kind of late… I mean I obviously forgive them but I will never be able to have a personal conversation with them. Honestly, I kind of avoid my dad. I love him but ….idk… I just don't like to be with him… it feels awkward. Anyway, I think that is all. I just needed to express myself because I've been feeling kind of bad lately. I cannot wait for the classes to start… I miss college, professors, people and my boyfriend. look sweetie, kids don't come with instruction manuals and there aren't any "how-to" classes for parents to take either so they muddle through it as best they can. it sounds to me like you had a pretty good life so far. your parents may not have been as attentive as you would have liked, but they saw to it that you had a lot more than some kids get. it is a shame that most parents are still kids themsleves when their children are born. some parents are just too young emotionally themselves to have kids but it still happens. it is too bad that we aren't born old and experienced and then get to go backwards. by the time we are young enough to have kids we would have all the wisdom needed to be good parents. be grateful for what you have. accept your parent's apologies and move forward...you are a lucky girl. |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | i know how you feel. Quoting: Ellusion my parents divorced when i was 5 they were always fighting , the violence i seen. both of my parents were married 3 times each. i was the mother to my mother, lets just say i never had much of a childhood. but im thankful for what i had it stengthened me. one day at a time :) My dad was married but he divorced and married my mom. I used to comfort my mother when she was crying but after a while I got bored. I love them though. :) |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | During my childhood (from since I can remember to high school) I didn't really received much attention from my parents… at least not emotional attention. Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi My parents never had time for me. Some of us already knew that about you. :) Hahahahahaha Yah, I kew someone was going to say that. LOL |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 31406938 Denmark01/03/2013 09:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sad story but it seems like you found your soul mate there! I'm glad for you. I also grew up in similar conditions although slightly worse. My dad used to drink a lot as well and he would become extremely violent after a few beers. He would always look for reasons to beat up my mother and my siblings while under the influence of alcohol. Just as you I hate alcohol because of this. My dad would beat my sister up because she didn't make the coffee good enough. When this happened she was sitting on the couch watching TV and my dad walked up to her from behind and dragged her out of the couch by pulling her ears and slapping her all over the face. Imagine my chock, a 12 year old kid back then, watching TV with my sister and all of sudden he starts beating her up. Quoting: Vinyard But the one in my family who suffered the most, and still is, is my mom. She was the one to take all the crap from my father. Whenever my dad fought with my siblings and my mom was on their side he would beat her up because she didn't agree with him. I was depressed most of my high school years and never socialized outside of school because my dad wouldn't let me. I did hang out with my friends occasionally but very rarely. My dad wanted me to study every day after school for several hours. Of course back then I was so depressed and I didn't want to study because when you're depressed you really see no point in it. So what did I do? I didn't study, I didn't socialize with friends and I wasn't doing sports of any kind. My computer was my escape from the crap life I had back then. Every time after school I'd sit in front of my computer until it was bed time. The next day I would repeat the same thing. Did this help me in any way? Nope. It only made things worse. Now my dad would yell at me for spending too much time at the computer and not being social enough. This made my depression even worse. One day he beat up my mom and it was really silent and awkward in our house the following days. But the silence burst when he started yelling at me for sitting at the computer. He literally jumped out of the couch and was about to hit me but he stopped himself. I cried in bed that night and started beating myself. The next day I had bruises all over my face. Today my siblings are all working and are living with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I stil live at home but study at university and I hate every minute of it. I'm not studying for my own good, I'm doing it for my mom and dad so they can be proud of me. My mom... well she's not happy. Occasionally maybe when the entire family is gathered and her grandchildren are visiting, but I can tell she's not happy with her life and probably hasn't been since she married that piece of shit. He has made her life a living hell including my own life. WOW... Your case was a lot worse. My dad never did that but he would tell her things sometimes... and he is extremely jealous. Why did your mother stay with your dad? I'm not sure. I'm not actually Swedish, my parents comes from former Yugoslavia and the culture is different there compared to Sweden. In Sweden it seems like people are divorcing like they're giving out candy to children. It's totally different in the Yugoslavian countries where it sometimes is considered shameful to divorce. Besides if my mother left my dad she wouldn't have much left in her life. I know my mother and she's the kindest woman alive and she's not the type of person to go outside and hang out in bars and such. She would be alone for the rest of her life I'm almost 100% sure about that. I don't know why she fell for him. My dad's a piece of crap. He doesn't do anything at all, he retired at the age of 40 after a car crash because of a bogus injury he made up after the crash so he wouldn't have to work anymore. He doesn't do anything around the house, never cleans, cooks or takes care of the laundry. He sits on his ass all day long watching TV and never takes out my mom on dinner or anything remotely fun. My mom deserves better. |
| davvi User ID: 3677166 United States01/03/2013 09:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sad story but it seems like you found your soul mate there! I'm glad for you. I also grew up in similar conditions although slightly worse. My dad used to drink a lot as well and he would become extremely violent after a few beers. He would always look for reasons to beat up my mother and my siblings while under the influence of alcohol. Just as you I hate alcohol because of this. My dad would beat my sister up because she didn't make the coffee good enough. When this happened she was sitting on the couch watching TV and my dad walked up to her from behind and dragged her out of the couch by pulling her ears and slapping her all over the face. Imagine my chock, a 12 year old kid back then, watching TV with my sister and all of sudden he starts beating her up. Quoting: Vinyard But the one in my family who suffered the most, and still is, is my mom. She was the one to take all the crap from my father. Whenever my dad fought with my siblings and my mom was on their side he would beat her up because she didn't agree with him. I was depressed most of my high school years and never socialized outside of school because my dad wouldn't let me. I did hang out with my friends occasionally but very rarely. My dad wanted me to study every day after school for several hours. Of course back then I was so depressed and I didn't want to study because when you're depressed you really see no point in it. So what did I do? I didn't study, I didn't socialize with friends and I wasn't doing sports of any kind. My computer was my escape from the crap life I had back then. Every time after school I'd sit in front of my computer until it was bed time. The next day I would repeat the same thing. Did this help me in any way? Nope. It only made things worse. Now my dad would yell at me for spending too much time at the computer and not being social enough. This made my depression even worse. One day he beat up my mom and it was really silent and awkward in our house the following days. But the silence burst when he started yelling at me for sitting at the computer. He literally jumped out of the couch and was about to hit me but he stopped himself. I cried in bed that night and started beating myself. The next day I had bruises all over my face. Today my siblings are all working and are living with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I stil live at home but study at university and I hate every minute of it. I'm not studying for my own good, I'm doing it for my mom and dad so they can be proud of me. My mom... well she's not happy. Occasionally maybe when the entire family is gathered and her grandchildren are visiting, but I can tell she's not happy with her life and probably hasn't been since she married that piece of shit. He has made her life a living hell including my own life. when you marry and have kids of your own, remember this and make sure that no child of yours ever suffers what you have. make that a promise to yourself... you need some counseling, your burden is much too heavy to carry alone, allow someone to help you, please. good luck and best wishes. |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ....... This too shall pass...... Quoting: scimitar One important thing to learn......... It is not important to master it........ Just try. When you are in a circumstance that is out of the realm of your liking, allow it to pass through you and not stick in your thoughts. Like yourself enough to be okay alone. I mean by that to attempt to occupy yourself with things that you alone create and control. Imagination is your friend...... Not using it to escape, but picture in your mind what you want to accomplish. ;^) I do that some times :) |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sometimes, sadly, the child has to be the adult. You're beautiful, insightful and have a good head on your shoulders. Accept your parents for what they are, what they give...and forgive them for the rest. You're a smart girl, rely on yourself and cherish that boyfriend. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30600228 Thank you :) I forgave them... I know they are trying to be better. |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Moved out of home at 18 like most kids in my generation. WTF is up with people these days 20 yr olds who are dependant on parents 30 year olds who live at home. Two words GROW UP Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30235756 I don't live with my parents... I just decided to stay with them for the holidays -_- When I was 18 I moved to another state but I had to come back because some things that happened. |
| littlemiracles User ID: 8637765 United States01/03/2013 09:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| littlemiracles User ID: 8637765 United States01/03/2013 09:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sometimes, sadly, the child has to be the adult. You're beautiful, insightful and have a good head on your shoulders. Accept your parents for what they are, what they give...and forgive them for the rest. You're a smart girl, rely on yourself and cherish that boyfriend. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30600228 Thank you :) I forgave them... I know they are trying to be better. I believe parents do the best they can with the "tools" that they have...not all are equipped with the best tools and you may find their toolbox grows with age and experience... Last Edited by littlemiracles on 01/03/2013 09:39 PM |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I miss my boyfriend a lot… We decided to stay with our own parents during the vacations…. so he went back to cali and I had to stay here because my dad is doing a research and my mom wouldn't stay alone in our house because in my opinion she has dependency problems. Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi Since I can remember I have always been depressed… until I met my boyfriend. He kind of made all the darkness go away. I've never felt so comfortable with someone before. I can talk to him about everything and that has really helped me a lot. During my childhood (from since I can remember to high school) I didn't really received much attention from my parents… at least not emotional attention. I mean, they would always try to please me with material things and they would always say "yes"…. but they were never really there for me. I wanted regular parents… Parents who say "no" sometimes… parents who punish their kids when they do something that's wrong… and I did a lot of bad things. My parents never had time for me. They were always with their friends laughing, gossiping and drinking pretty alcoholic drinks. … Maybe that's why I hate alcohol. They would always make an excuse to make a party. The holidays were my least favorite days. During the preparations for the parties my dad was always so angry because he is such a perfectionist. He would often say bad words and curse everything … even what is considered holy. I always thought he was a huge hypocrite because he used to talk so much about religion and criticize people for doing bad things but he was exactly the same. I hated my dad for a long time because he used to make my mom cry and I hated her for being so submissive and not doing anything. She would just cry… They were two-faced…. When we were alone my dad would just work, work, work and practically ignore me and my brother…. and my mother did the same… and when she was not working she was gossiping (there were exceptions)….. but when their friends were around they were good loving parents…. Mom was my favorite because she used to tell us stories sometimes before going to bed and she used to be with us during school awards, plays, graduations… etc…. Dad was always too busy. I'm not sure why… I mean he is a biologist but I've seen my biology professors spend time with their family and go to their school activities… I think they feel guilty now because my mom cries and apologize for "not being a great mother" …. and my dad has a weird way to express the same. I think it is kind of late… I mean I obviously forgive them but I will never be able to have a personal conversation with them. Honestly, I kind of avoid my dad. I love him but ….idk… I just don't like to be with him… it feels awkward. Anyway, I think that is all. I just needed to express myself because I've been feeling kind of bad lately. I cannot wait for the classes to start… I miss college, professors, people and my boyfriend. look sweetie, kids don't come with instruction manuals and there aren't any "how-to" classes for parents to take either so they muddle through it as best they can. it sounds to me like you had a pretty good life so far. your parents may not have been as attentive as you would have liked, but they saw to it that you had a lot more than some kids get. it is a shame that most parents are still kids themsleves when their children are born. some parents are just too young emotionally themselves to have kids but it still happens. it is too bad that we aren't born old and experienced and then get to go backwards. by the time we are young enough to have kids we would have all the wisdom needed to be good parents. be grateful for what you have. accept your parent's apologies and move forward...you are a lucky girl. Yes, I was kind of fortunate even though I didn't have their attention... the material stuff did make me feel better for a while cause it felt like attention... I forgave them and I love them ... it's just that I can't really have a personal conversations with them now. |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sad story but it seems like you found your soul mate there! I'm glad for you. I also grew up in similar conditions although slightly worse. My dad used to drink a lot as well and he would become extremely violent after a few beers. He would always look for reasons to beat up my mother and my siblings while under the influence of alcohol. Just as you I hate alcohol because of this. My dad would beat my sister up because she didn't make the coffee good enough. When this happened she was sitting on the couch watching TV and my dad walked up to her from behind and dragged her out of the couch by pulling her ears and slapping her all over the face. Imagine my chock, a 12 year old kid back then, watching TV with my sister and all of sudden he starts beating her up. Quoting: Vinyard But the one in my family who suffered the most, and still is, is my mom. She was the one to take all the crap from my father. Whenever my dad fought with my siblings and my mom was on their side he would beat her up because she didn't agree with him. I was depressed most of my high school years and never socialized outside of school because my dad wouldn't let me. I did hang out with my friends occasionally but very rarely. My dad wanted me to study every day after school for several hours. Of course back then I was so depressed and I didn't want to study because when you're depressed you really see no point in it. So what did I do? I didn't study, I didn't socialize with friends and I wasn't doing sports of any kind. My computer was my escape from the crap life I had back then. Every time after school I'd sit in front of my computer until it was bed time. The next day I would repeat the same thing. Did this help me in any way? Nope. It only made things worse. Now my dad would yell at me for spending too much time at the computer and not being social enough. This made my depression even worse. One day he beat up my mom and it was really silent and awkward in our house the following days. But the silence burst when he started yelling at me for sitting at the computer. He literally jumped out of the couch and was about to hit me but he stopped himself. I cried in bed that night and started beating myself. The next day I had bruises all over my face. Today my siblings are all working and are living with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I stil live at home but study at university and I hate every minute of it. I'm not studying for my own good, I'm doing it for my mom and dad so they can be proud of me. My mom... well she's not happy. Occasionally maybe when the entire family is gathered and her grandchildren are visiting, but I can tell she's not happy with her life and probably hasn't been since she married that piece of shit. He has made her life a living hell including my own life. WOW... Your case was a lot worse. My dad never did that but he would tell her things sometimes... and he is extremely jealous. Why did your mother stay with your dad? I'm not sure. I'm not actually Swedish, my parents comes from formed Yugoslavia and the culture is different there compared to Sweden. In Sweden it seems like people are divorcing like they're giving out candy to children. It's totally different in the Yugoslavian countries where it sometimes is considered shameful to divorce. Besides if my mother left my dad she wouldn't have much left in her life. I know my mother and she's the kindest woman alive and she's not the type of person to go outside and hang out in bars and such. She would be alone for the rest of her life I'm almost 100% sure about that. I don't know why she fell for him. My dad's a piece of crap. He doesn't do anything at all, he retired at the age of 40 after a car crash because of a bogus injury he made up after the crash so he wouldn't have to work anymore. He doesn't do anything around the house, never cleans, cooks or takes care of the laundry. He sits on his ass all day long watching TV and never takes out my mom on dinner or anything remotely fun. My mom deserves better. Oh , I understand. and yeah there are so many divorces lately.... it's kind of weird. and yeah your mom deserves better. |
| Barbara P. Strigoi (OP) User ID: 9622370 Puerto Rico01/03/2013 09:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sometimes, sadly, the child has to be the adult. You're beautiful, insightful and have a good head on your shoulders. Accept your parents for what they are, what they give...and forgive them for the rest. You're a smart girl, rely on yourself and cherish that boyfriend. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30600228 Thank you :) I forgave them... I know they are trying to be better. I believe parents do the best they can with the "tools" that they have...not all are equipped with the best tools and you may find their toolbox grows with age and experience... Yeah :) |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 31406938 Denmark01/03/2013 09:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sad story but it seems like you found your soul mate there! I'm glad for you. I also grew up in similar conditions although slightly worse. My dad used to drink a lot as well and he would become extremely violent after a few beers. He would always look for reasons to beat up my mother and my siblings while under the influence of alcohol. Just as you I hate alcohol because of this. My dad would beat my sister up because she didn't make the coffee good enough. When this happened she was sitting on the couch watching TV and my dad walked up to her from behind and dragged her out of the couch by pulling her ears and slapping her all over the face. Imagine my chock, a 12 year old kid back then, watching TV with my sister and all of sudden he starts beating her up. Quoting: Vinyard But the one in my family who suffered the most, and still is, is my mom. She was the one to take all the crap from my father. Whenever my dad fought with my siblings and my mom was on their side he would beat her up because she didn't agree with him. I was depressed most of my high school years and never socialized outside of school because my dad wouldn't let me. I did hang out with my friends occasionally but very rarely. My dad wanted me to study every day after school for several hours. Of course back then I was so depressed and I didn't want to study because when you're depressed you really see no point in it. So what did I do? I didn't study, I didn't socialize with friends and I wasn't doing sports of any kind. My computer was my escape from the crap life I had back then. Every time after school I'd sit in front of my computer until it was bed time. The next day I would repeat the same thing. Did this help me in any way? Nope. It only made things worse. Now my dad would yell at me for spending too much time at the computer and not being social enough. This made my depression even worse. One day he beat up my mom and it was really silent and awkward in our house the following days. But the silence burst when he started yelling at me for sitting at the computer. He literally jumped out of the couch and was about to hit me but he stopped himself. I cried in bed that night and started beating myself. The next day I had bruises all over my face. Today my siblings are all working and are living with their boyfriends/girlfriends. I stil live at home but study at university and I hate every minute of it. I'm not studying for my own good, I'm doing it for my mom and dad so they can be proud of me. My mom... well she's not happy. Occasionally maybe when the entire family is gathered and her grandchildren are visiting, but I can tell she's not happy with her life and probably hasn't been since she married that piece of shit. He has made her life a living hell including my own life. when you marry and have kids of your own, remember this and make sure that no child of yours ever suffers what you have. make that a promise to yourself... you need some counseling, your burden is much too heavy to carry alone, allow someone to help you, please. good luck and best wishes. Yep, I tell myself this every day. When I have kids of my own I will take really good care of them. I won't spoil them but I will be a loving father who will teach them hard work, moral and responsibility. And I'm doing pretty OK now. My siblings have moved out so the violence is not as frequent as it used to be. Every now and then he becomes very violent towards my mother but not as often as he used to. Earlier in my life when I was depressed I never stood up for myself. But now a few years later I'm beginning to mature and I can guarantee you that if my dad ever punches my mother again I will knock out his yellow misplaced teeth. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 29307060 United States01/03/2013 09:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I miss my boyfriend a lot… We decided to stay with our own parents during the vacations…. so he went back to cali and I had to stay here because my dad is doing a research and my mom wouldn't stay alone in our house because in my opinion she has dependency problems. Quoting: Barbara P. Strigoi Since I can remember I have always been depressed… until I met my boyfriend. He kind of made all the darkness go away. I've never felt so comfortable with someone before. I can talk to him about everything and that has really helped me a lot. During my childhood (from since I can remember to high school) I didn't really received much attention from my parents… at least not emotional attention. I mean, they would always try to please me with material things and they would always say "yes"…. but they were never really there for me. I wanted regular parents… Parents who say "no" sometimes… parents who punish their kids when they do something that's wrong… and I did a lot of bad things. My parents never had time for me. They were always with their friends laughing, gossiping and drinking pretty alcoholic drinks. … Maybe that's why I hate alcohol. They would always make an excuse to make a party. The holidays were my least favorite days. During the preparations for the parties my dad was always so angry because he is such a perfectionist. He would often say bad words and curse everything … even what is considered holy. I always thought he was a huge hypocrite because he used to talk so much about religion and criticize people for doing bad things but he was exactly the same. I hated my dad for a long time because he used to make my mom cry and I hated her for being so submissive and not doing anything. She would just cry… They were two-faced…. When we were alone my dad would just work, work, work and practically ignore me and my brother…. and my mother did the same… and when she was not working she was gossiping (there were exceptions)….. but when their friends were around they were good loving parents…. Mom was my favorite because she used to tell us stories sometimes before going to bed and she used to be with us during school awards, plays, graduations… etc…. Dad was always too busy. I'm not sure why… I mean he is a biologist but I've seen my biology professors spend time with their family and go to their school activities… I think they feel guilty now because my mom cries and apologize for "not being a great mother" …. and my dad has a weird way to express the same. I think it is kind of late… I mean I obviously forgive them but I will never be able to have a personal conversation with them. Honestly, I kind of avoid my dad. I love him but ….idk… I just don't like to be with him… it feels awkward. Anyway, I think that is all. I just needed to express myself because I've been feeling kind of bad lately. I cannot wait for the classes to start… I miss college, professors, people and my boyfriend.  |
