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My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight

 
goodmockingbird
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01/10/2013 06:22 PM

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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Do you think with the help of my counselor that I could get a judge to sign an immediate order so that she can't come back? Then I could have a civil stand-by so she could pick up her stuff. I am shaking my nerves are shot and I just want a good nights sleep. Every-time she comes here she is deliberately leaving the front door wide open when she leaves and leaving the door unlocked trying to get any rise she can out of me. She almost hit my cat when she drove in the driveway real fast for a minute I thought she was going to drive right through the house.wtf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Those are questions that you need someone with legal expertise in your own state and county to answer, regarding petitioning the court to get an immediate order from a judge for her to vacate the premises. I would encourage you to definitely try it, if at all possible. You have good grounds for it.

Right now it sounds like it might be time for you to consider bringing in all the outside help you can get.

If you could hire an off duty law enforcement officer to "monitor" your property as private security, that would be one best case scenario. But since you cannot afford it, I would encourage you to brainstorm with your husband, your counsellor, your pastor and your neighbors.

Could you have one or more friends -- respectable, good people whose testimony would carry meaning in the court -- to volunteer to check your door from the outside? To simply set outside in a car and *watch* -- and vidoetape -- your property, her comings and goings?

Things like that -- just bringing in as many witnesses and eyes upon her actions. Brainstorm away, talk with everyone you know who could possibly help!!! Friends to videotape your house from the outside. Do you have a voice or video recorder inside the house to record her rages?

Could you call the nonemergency number or your local police department and ask if they could send extra patrols down your street?

Get eyes and ears and witnesses all around her and around your property!!!

She is under pressure now, and she will likely erupt. Get lots of eyes and ears on it when she does.

Keep your side of the equation legalistic, calm and orderly. Do not react. Respond -- and respond by letting the law stand for you, beside you, and with you.

Call child protective services sooner rather than later. Bring that crazy destructive person's world crashing down on her. And you stand your ground and do not waver.
THE CDC LIES
goodmockingbird
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01/10/2013 06:28 PM

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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Another thought -- does your locality have any resources for "Elder Abuse" ? That is like a social worker or ombudsman who steps in during situations like yours when a younger person ( a relative) is financially exploiting and/or abusing a senior citizen.

Look into it. Your counsellor may have some resources. Or, as I've advised before, contact your local women's shelter. But look into "elder abuse resources". Even the police department nonemergency number, the local court's Victim Advocacy Office (or equivalent), or local social services, or a mental health center would be places to start asking.
THE CDC LIES
Anonymous Coward
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01/10/2013 07:23 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
I've been dealing with my grandsons mom for 7 years - on and off outbursts of anger. Tonight was the worst. I try to stay out of their business but stepped in tonight because my 4 year grandson was in the middle of their argument (she got mad and broke a flatscreen TV) My son was trying to leave with my GS and after they left she flipped out on me accusing me of letting him leave with my son (it was dads visitation day) She kicked my jeep, mad, busted my light and then spit in my face. I am beyond upset. My neighbor called the police because she was screaming outside. The ambulance came for me because they were afraid I was having a heart attack. My EKG was all over the place. I denied going to the hospital because I was afraid if she came back and my 4 year GS would be in the middle again and get hurt. I'm torn of what to do - I've tried my best and can't do this anymore. My GS and I are best buddies. It broke my heart he was hiding in my room huddled in a corner scared when they were arguing.

What to do? What to do?
 Quoting: Upset Grandma 844118


The next time you're around her with your grandson etc, film it in its entirety on camera. Tell her you're doing this for everyone's safety. If she snaps, you have the disclaimer of having told her you're filming and also PROOF OF HER INSTABILITY. Make a copy, then go to the authorities with the footage. She will get taken care of like she deserves. TEACH THIS BITCH A LESSON OR YOUR GS WILL PAY THE PRICE.
Anonymous Coward
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01/10/2013 07:25 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
I've been dealing with my grandsons mom for 7 years - on and off outbursts of anger. Tonight was the worst. I try to stay out of their business but stepped in tonight because my 4 year grandson was in the middle of their argument (she got mad and broke a flatscreen TV) My son was trying to leave with my GS and after they left she flipped out on me accusing me of letting him leave with my son (it was dads visitation day) She kicked my jeep, mad, busted my light and then spit in my face. I am beyond upset. My neighbor called the police because she was screaming outside. The ambulance came for me because they were afraid I was having a heart attack. My EKG was all over the place. I denied going to the hospital because I was afraid if she came back and my 4 year GS would be in the middle again and get hurt. I'm torn of what to do - I've tried my best and can't do this anymore. My GS and I are best buddies. It broke my heart he was hiding in my room huddled in a corner scared when they were arguing.

What to do? What to do?
 Quoting: Upset Grandma 844118


The next time you're around her with your grandson etc, film it in its entirety on camera. Tell her you're doing this for everyone's safety. If she snaps, you have the disclaimer of having told her you're filming and also PROOF OF HER INSTABILITY. Make a copy, then go to the authorities with the footage. She will get taken care of like she deserves. TEACH THIS BITCH A LESSON OR YOUR GS WILL PAY THE PRICE.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31920063


Btw- make sure you are filming the entire time so the "disclaimer" is on tape.
geminilion

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01/10/2013 07:46 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Checking in on you, OP, and hoping you are making progress towards putting this nightmare behind you.

grouphug
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Thank you Mocking. Your posts are giving me strength, and so are the other kind people here. So I went down to the CH and filed the correct restraining order. Part of that order was letting her know what I was doing so I texted her and said "I am fling a restraining order". TSHF now. I came home she is raging yelling arguing with son and I said nothing. My husband and I stayed in the backroom and listened to her demean, manipulate and say God-awful things. It took all my self control not to run up there and respond.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Bravo for you, Woman!!!

You did the exact right thing at the exact right time:

Nothing.

And yes, I am sure it did take all of your strength not to respond. But you did the one thing she cannot win against: You kept your calm, your dignity, your self-respect... in short -- You prevailed! You did not lower yourself to her level.

Did she throw things? Do anything in the least bit violent?

If she does, any time in the future -- Call the police immediately.

I called my therapist and got an emergency appt. to talk to her today. No doubt CPS will be called now but I think it's the safest thing for my GS right now. She drove her car in the driveway real fast almost hitting our cat. She is out of control and things are escalating. I just prayed with my neighbor for angels to protect my GS.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


You may want to get a statement in writing from your neighbor to the effect about her driving dangerously -- and about everything else your neighbor has observed (seen or heard) of her behaviour that has been dangerous over the past few days. A neighbor is unbiased and her testimony may prove very valuable. Talk to ALL of your neighbors, give them a heads up to call the police immediately at the slightest loud noise.

What a blessing because when I went to the court I actually had the good fortune to get the family law attorney who said "you have another case here that was filed for grandparents rights". So she attached the file to the restraining order request. Now the judge will see the history from over a year ago when I flied this because she was keeping the GS away from us. God is good.

Things sre going to get much worse before they get better but God is with with me and my husband is going to go with me to my counselor today. One step at a time.

She says she has a contract and will stay here unless she gets evicted.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


So glad you are meeting with your husband together with your counsellor!

Move forward, forward, forward and keep on doing what is in front of you to do.

This is not time to relent or show compassion. You are showing strength and steadfastness.

That little gal has never encountered cold, relentless fortitude and steadfastness before.

She will not give up her temper tantrums. Get ready for her to get violent. Get ready for her to cry and beg forgiveness. She will do everything but the simple right thing -- move out and get the help she needs.

You are on the right path. A year from now your life will be infinitely brighter and better. See yourself, your husband, your son and grandsom close and safe together. Hold that vision as your goal.

And do what is in front of you to do.

grouphug
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Do you think with the help of my counselor that I could get a judge to sign an immediate order so that she can't come back? Then I could have a civil stand-by so she could pick up her stuff. I am shaking my nerves are shot and I just want a good nights sleep. Every-time she comes here she is deliberately leaving the front door wide open when she leaves and leaving the door unlocked trying to get any rise she can out of me. She almost hit my cat when she drove in the driveway real fast for a minute I thought she was going to drive right through the house.wtf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Just checking in on you..what a mess! You are doing all the right things though hon.

I hope to heck you can get her out of your house, this woman is a lunatic. The only good thing about that is you can keep an eye on your GS. For the child's sake she needs to be taken care of stat but you already know that.

Maybe there are some lawyers around that can advise you. You've gotten some great advice here....hugs.

hf
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Anonymous Coward
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01/10/2013 08:12 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
I went thru something similar to this with my crazy ex. I was a nice guy and didn't press charges. Huge mistake. Some people are selfish animals that only understand force. I got a very good lawyer and put her thru the wringer when we got divorced. Suddenly she knows how to behave and doesn't give me crap anymore. I made it clear I won't hesitate to pursue full custody if she ever screws up again. She treats our kids great and is respectful to me now.

Like Hank Williams said, she needed an "attitude adjustment".
MONSTER

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01/10/2013 08:30 PM

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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Press charges every time she brakes something or assaults you. Then get a lawyer and take the kid from her. Sounds like she has anger problems
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Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/10/2013 09:22 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
...


Thank you Mocking. Your posts are giving me strength, and so are the other kind people here. So I went down to the CH and filed the correct restraining order. Part of that order was letting her know what I was doing so I texted her and said "I am fling a restraining order". TSHF now. I came home she is raging yelling arguing with son and I said nothing. My husband and I stayed in the backroom and listened to her demean, manipulate and say God-awful things. It took all my self control not to run up there and respond.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Bravo for you, Woman!!!

You did the exact right thing at the exact right time:

Nothing.

And yes, I am sure it did take all of your strength not to respond. But you did the one thing she cannot win against: You kept your calm, your dignity, your self-respect... in short -- You prevailed! You did not lower yourself to her level.

Did she throw things? Do anything in the least bit violent?

If she does, any time in the future -- Call the police immediately.

I called my therapist and got an emergency appt. to talk to her today. No doubt CPS will be called now but I think it's the safest thing for my GS right now. She drove her car in the driveway real fast almost hitting our cat. She is out of control and things are escalating. I just prayed with my neighbor for angels to protect my GS.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


You may want to get a statement in writing from your neighbor to the effect about her driving dangerously -- and about everything else your neighbor has observed (seen or heard) of her behaviour that has been dangerous over the past few days. A neighbor is unbiased and her testimony may prove very valuable. Talk to ALL of your neighbors, give them a heads up to call the police immediately at the slightest loud noise.

What a blessing because when I went to the court I actually had the good fortune to get the family law attorney who said "you have another case here that was filed for grandparents rights". So she attached the file to the restraining order request. Now the judge will see the history from over a year ago when I flied this because she was keeping the GS away from us. God is good.

Things sre going to get much worse before they get better but God is with with me and my husband is going to go with me to my counselor today. One step at a time.

She says she has a contract and will stay here unless she gets evicted.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


So glad you are meeting with your husband together with your counsellor!

Move forward, forward, forward and keep on doing what is in front of you to do.

This is not time to relent or show compassion. You are showing strength and steadfastness.

That little gal has never encountered cold, relentless fortitude and steadfastness before.

She will not give up her temper tantrums. Get ready for her to get violent. Get ready for her to cry and beg forgiveness. She will do everything but the simple right thing -- move out and get the help she needs.

You are on the right path. A year from now your life will be infinitely brighter and better. See yourself, your husband, your son and grandsom close and safe together. Hold that vision as your goal.

And do what is in front of you to do.

grouphug
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Do you think with the help of my counselor that I could get a judge to sign an immediate order so that she can't come back? Then I could have a civil stand-by so she could pick up her stuff. I am shaking my nerves are shot and I just want a good nights sleep. Every-time she comes here she is deliberately leaving the front door wide open when she leaves and leaving the door unlocked trying to get any rise she can out of me. She almost hit my cat when she drove in the driveway real fast for a minute I thought she was going to drive right through the house.wtf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Just checking in on you..what a mess! You are doing all the right things though hon.

I hope to heck you can get her out of your house, this woman is a lunatic. The only good thing about that is you can keep an eye on your GS. For the child's sake she needs to be taken care of stat but you already know that.

Maybe there are some lawyers around that can advise you. You've gotten some great advice here....hugs.

Thank you for your concern. I just got back from my counselor and TSHTF. I had a long talk with her, lots of tears but we agreed that CPS needs to be called and my GS maybe removed, and they may both go to jail. Thing is the judge that last saw there case said that if there was anymore paperwork on them they were going to both get arrested. My heart is breaking but I know this is the best and safest thing for my 4 year old GS, he is the most important one here. He cannot voice his fears over this and does not deserve to be subjected to this sick cycle. and neither do I or my husband. This has got to be one of the hardest things I have ever done and very scary. And my husband is going to be bodyguard (at least when he is here he can) and I am going to share with my close neighbor to call the police at any sign of possible violence, doors slamming, loud voices, yelling, anything. And if it happens when my GS is here I am going to grab him, leave the house and call the police. I have my escape plan in place and am not going to respond to her provocation but if she puts that boy in one more ounce of danger I am fleeing with him.

And yes she in the lunatic mode now, so all my ears and eyes are open. I have also talked to a few close friends and getting people on board to help me in crisis mode.

hf
 Quoting: geminilion
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01/10/2013 09:23 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Thank you for your concern. I just got back from my counselor and TSHTF. I had a long talk with her, lots of tears but we agreed that CPS needs to be called and my GS maybe removed, and they may both go to jail. Thing is the judge that last saw there case said that if there was anymore paperwork on them they were going to both get arrested. My heart is breaking but I know this is the best and safest thing for my 4 year old GS, he is the most important one here. He cannot voice his fears over this and does not deserve to be subjected to this sick cycle. and neither do I or my husband. This has got to be one of the hardest things I have ever done and very scary. And my husband is going to be bodyguard (at least when he is here he can) and I am going to share with my close neighbor to call the police at any sign of possible violence, doors slamming, loud voices, yelling, anything. And if it happens when my GS is here I am going to grab him, leave the house and call the police. I have my escape plan in place and am not going to respond to her provocation but if she puts that boy in one more ounce of danger I am fleeing with him.

And yes she in the lunatic mode now, so all my ears and eyes are open. I have also talked to a few close friends and getting people on board to help me in crisis mode.
Anonymous Coward
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01/10/2013 10:08 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Hitch the trailer home to the pickup and move somewhere else.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 944253


lol

no kidding
goodmockingbird
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01/11/2013 03:55 AM

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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Thank you for your concern. I just got back from my counselor and TSHTF. I had a long talk with her, lots of tears but we agreed that CPS needs to be called and my GS maybe removed, and they may both go to jail. Thing is the judge that last saw there case said that if there was anymore paperwork on them they were going to both get arrested. My heart is breaking but I know this is the best and safest thing for my 4 year old GS, he is the most important one here. He cannot voice his fears over this and does not deserve to be subjected to this sick cycle. and neither do I or my husband. This has got to be one of the hardest things I have ever done and very scary. And my husband is going to be bodyguard (at least when he is here he can) and I am going to share with my close neighbor to call the police at any sign of possible violence, doors slamming, loud voices, yelling, anything. And if it happens when my GS is here I am going to grab him, leave the house and call the police. I have my escape plan in place and am not going to respond to her provocation but if she puts that boy in one more ounce of danger I am fleeing with him.

And yes she in the lunatic mode now, so all my ears and eyes are open. I have also talked to a few close friends and getting people on board to help me in crisis mode.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Sounds like you've got your head screwed on straight all the way around.

Absolutely, it is the hardest, scariest thing you have ever gone through.

Tell your close neighbors, your neighbors down the street, the neighbors behind you, and anybody else you can think of.

Get friends to just drive by, pause, and monitor your house.

Need anything done around the house? Now is the time to get Free Estimates on plumbing, windows, kitchen cabinet upgrades etc. Go ahead and get a locksmith lined up to change the locks on your house!!! Have him come out and look over your doors, so he will have the right equipment ready whenever you give the call.

Get strangers -- on legitimate business -- into your house! Extra eyes!

Do you or your friends have any 'gentle giant' type grown sons or nephews who could come visit you off and on -- Buy some big, hefty young friends a few pizzas, have video night, and just 'hang out with granny'.

Invite in and brainstorm with anybody else you can possibly think of who might also have a stake in this to monitor the situation from their perspective.

Could you talk to your grandson's teacher or daycare operator???

Moment by moment, simply do the next right thing that is in front of you to do.

And carry through.
THE CDC LIES
geminilion

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01/11/2013 04:38 AM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Another thought -- does your locality have any resources for "Elder Abuse" ? That is like a social worker or ombudsman who steps in during situations like yours when a younger person ( a relative) is financially exploiting and/or abusing a senior citizen.

Look into it. Your counsellor may have some resources. Or, as I've advised before, contact your local women's shelter. But look into "elder abuse resources". Even the police department nonemergency number, the local court's Victim Advocacy Office (or equivalent), or local social services, or a mental health center would be places to start asking.
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Great advice from you throughout the thread!

hf
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
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01/11/2013 04:41 AM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Thank you for your concern. I just got back from my counselor and TSHTF. I had a long talk with her, lots of tears but we agreed that CPS needs to be called and my GS maybe removed, and they may both go to jail.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


you are a cunt.
nuff said.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/11/2013 12:53 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
I went thru something similar to this with my crazy ex. I was a nice guy and didn't press charges. Huge mistake. Some people are selfish animals that only understand force. I got a very good lawyer and put her thru the wringer when we got divorced. Suddenly she knows how to behave and doesn't give me crap anymore. I made it clear I won't hesitate to pursue full custody if she ever screws up again. She treats our kids great and is respectful to me now.

Like Hank Williams said, she needed an "attitude adjustment".
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30688956


It's good to hear of someone who has gone through this and things have worked out for you and the kids in the end. I guess unless people like this have consequences there will be no change....it's like she has to be forced into being responsible for taking responsibility for the things she does. I am a softie, love people and kids and I think I have been a doormat for too long. I do feel better finally knowing that I am doing something to protect myself and my GS. It's a good feeling to know that if this order is granted she will be out of my life and I won't have to deal with her crazy outbursts anymore. My counselor is not one to use words lightly but she called her "sick, crazy and nuts". I was surprised that she said that because I have never heard her use words that. But I need to keep repeating those words in my head, and like Mockingbird said, move forward.

Now that I'm thinking a little clearer and clearer I have a big interview tomorrow as a director, sadly I have not had much time to prepare but if I get this job it will put me in a even better place that perhaps I can sell my house and move away somewhere more peaceful. Even though it's a 4th generation home, I feel I may need a fresh new start. I'm only in my 50's so it's not like I can't still have a good life ahead of me. And maybe, hopefully, that future will include my 4 yo GS. Besides his mom and dad, my husband and I have been his next closest caregiver. If I can myself into a better mode, and if she or both of them lose custody I want to be there for him. I know he must very confused right now. And that makes me sad but my counselor said I must not dwell on that right now.
goodmockingbird
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01/11/2013 02:22 PM

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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
I am a softie, love people and kids and I think I have been a doormat for too long.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Simply put: Yes, yes you have been a doormat for too long. The good news is you are growing one heckuva sturdy spine.

Remember, you do not need to change anybody else's behaviour. You only need to change your own behaviour.


I do feel better finally knowing that I am doing something to protect myself and my GS. It's a good feeling to know that if this order is granted she will be out of my life and I won't have to deal with her crazy outbursts anymore. My counselor is not one to use words lightly but she called her "sick, crazy and nuts". I was surprised that she said that because I have never heard her use words that. But I need to keep repeating those words in my head, and like Mockingbird said, move forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Whenever you get her out of your home, you will be "over the hump" so far as dealing with her. That is the goal to stay focused upon now.

But she will always be out there. And you will never be entirely 'safe' from her. She may still appear in your life from time to time, but you will be dealing with her from a position of strenth.
Now that I'm thinking a little clearer and clearer I have a big interview tomorrow as a director, sadly I have not had much time to prepare but if I get this job it will put me in a even better place that perhaps I can sell my house and move away somewhere more peaceful. Even though it's a 4th generation home, I feel I may need a fresh new start. I'm only in my 50's so it's not like I can't still have a good life ahead of me. And maybe, hopefully, that future will include my 4 yo GS. Besides his mom and dad, my husband and I have been his next closest caregiver. If I can myself into a better mode, and if she or both of them lose custody I want to be there for him. I know he must very confused right now. And that makes me sad but my counselor said I must not dwell on that right now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Most courts will immediately and automatically look at you as the next potential custodian for your grandson, if both the mother and father lose custody.

You are doing everything for the good. Just carry through.

hugs
THE CDC LIES
goodmockingbird
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01/13/2013 03:11 AM

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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Bumping for any updates
THE CDC LIES
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/13/2013 03:14 AM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
I am a softie, love people and kids and I think I have been a doormat for too long.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Simply put: Yes, yes you have been a doormat for too long. The good news is you are growing one heckuva sturdy spine.

Remember, you do not need to change anybody else's behaviour. You only need to change your own behaviour.


I do feel better finally knowing that I am doing something to protect myself and my GS. It's a good feeling to know that if this order is granted she will be out of my life and I won't have to deal with her crazy outbursts anymore. My counselor is not one to use words lightly but she called her "sick, crazy and nuts". I was surprised that she said that because I have never heard her use words that. But I need to keep repeating those words in my head, and like Mockingbird said, move forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Whenever you get her out of your home, you will be "over the hump" so far as dealing with her. That is the goal to stay focused upon now.

But she will always be out there. And you will never be entirely 'safe' from her. She may still appear in your life from time to time, but you will be dealing with her from a position of strenth.
Now that I'm thinking a little clearer and clearer I have a big interview tomorrow as a director, sadly I have not had much time to prepare but if I get this job it will put me in a even better place that perhaps I can sell my house and move away somewhere more peaceful. Even though it's a 4th generation home, I feel I may need a fresh new start. I'm only in my 50's so it's not like I can't still have a good life ahead of me. And maybe, hopefully, that future will include my 4 yo GS. Besides his mom and dad, my husband and I have been his next closest caregiver. If I can myself into a better mode, and if she or both of them lose custody I want to be there for him. I know he must very confused right now. And that makes me sad but my counselor said I must not dwell on that right now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Most courts will immediately and automatically look at you as the next potential custodian for your grandson, if both the mother and father lose custody.

You are doing everything for the good. Just carry through.

hugs
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Thank you. I'm a little down tonight. The restraining order was granted, and she was served tonight. It's bittersweet considering that I treated this girl like a daughter. I definitely feel safer and more secure right now. I'm just kind of bummed because a job I interviewed for today, that I really thought I was perfect for, I did not get. Perhaps it's because I need to be here for my GS as CPS is now looking for my grandsons mom now too. She will have to face responsibility now for her actions, and I know that's going to be a hard road but I know I did the right thing.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27249705
United States
01/13/2013 11:58 AM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
There's a lot of people, perhaps well meaning, some just mean, who are weighing down this person when they are suffering.

If someone is drowning you don't push on their head and put them under.

Not cool.
 Quoting: Don'tBeAfraid


Unless they are feeling impotent, ineffective, and unskilled


Unable to thrive on their own merits they seek the weak or the fumbling and mock...to try and build up their own low self esteem



Pathetic


inept and disparaging, the stupid do not realize they do this to the,selves when doing it to another


profound ignorance


and very telling, that they are immature, juvenile, with no real self respect, so naturally they cannot demonstrate it for another...they are confounded


All too common and evidences their lack of ability...by flaming another, they display their lack
Pay it forward
User ID: 21246624
United States
01/13/2013 12:33 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
OP - so sorry for all you're going through but you're standing in your power.

No one has mentioned it but I'm concerned also for your cat if she's tried to run it over. Please keep it inside for the time being. Even with a restraining order, there's nothing to stop her from asking a friend to go to your place to hurt it or kill it.

She's crazy and angry and will do anything to pay you back now. I hope you eventually get custody of GS which sounds promising given the girl's - and your son's - inability to be good parents.

Good advise from others on the thread...document everything and keep your camera with you at all times.

Stay safe and glad you and hubby are getting counseling. Sending prayers and love your way.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 844118
United States
01/13/2013 12:53 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
OP - so sorry for all you're going through but you're standing in your power.

No one has mentioned it but I'm concerned also for your cat if she's tried to run it over. Please keep it inside for the time being. Even with a restraining order, there's nothing to stop her from asking a friend to go to your place to hurt it or kill it.

She's crazy and angry and will do anything to pay you back now. I hope you eventually get custody of GS which sounds promising given the girl's - and your son's - inability to be good parents.

Good advise from others on the thread...document everything and keep your camera with you at all times.

Stay safe and glad you and hubby are getting counseling. Sending prayers and love your way.
 Quoting: Pay it forward 21246624


Thank you. I am not worried about her trying to kill the cat so much as I am worried about what devious thing she might be planning now to get back at me. She wasn't trying to kill the cat I don't think, she was just trying to scare me by driving up in the driveway real fast. I don't think she was trying to aim at the cat but he ran across the driveway when she was skirting up. From what I hear she is going crazy right now. I told my son I don't want to hear about it, that if shes that upset she should go check herself into a hospital and get some help. Boy it feels GREAT to wake up and the peace and quiet and knowing she can't come back here. Very relieved. I am so so tried and worn out.
goodmockingbird
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User ID: 29124333
United States
01/13/2013 04:37 PM

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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
... The restraining order was granted, and she was served tonight. It's bittersweet considering that I treated this girl like a daughter. I definitely feel safer and more secure right now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


In most ways you are safer now. But she is likely to attempt a number of things. Here some things to be on the look out for:

*Identity theft. You can put a 'flag' on your credit reports. I am not sure about how to do this, but I imagine your bank's customer service could give you some direction on it.

*Stealing your mail. Get a Post Office box

*Breaking and entering. Change your locks immediately. Get the locksmith's advice on really sturdy locks!

*Vandalism. Make sure your homeowner's policy is up to date. Maybe install a few more outdoor lights, increase the wattage of your existing porch light bulbs, install a motion detector type "game camera" (all of this things could be done for a couple of hundred dollars)

*Arson. Make sure your neighbors know to call the police immediately if they see anybody -- especially her --around the outside of your house, doing anything except under the direction of you or your husband.

*Abducting your grandson. While I do not know the status of your legal "custody" -- be prepared for her to "nab" your grandson. No playing alone in the yard, things like that. Make sure your grandson has your phone numbers and address memorised.
I'm just kind of bummed because a job I interviewed for today, that I really thought I was perfect for, I did not get. Perhaps it's because I need to be here for my GS as CPS is now looking for my grandsons mom now too. She will have to face responsibility now for her actions, and I know that's going to be a hard road but I know I did the right thing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Perhaps it is just as well you did not get this job right at this moment so you can be home and protect your grandson and your home.

Tell us how things are going. My guess is that she does not quietly fade away.
THE CDC LIES
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 844118
United States
01/17/2013 06:20 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
... The restraining order was granted, and she was served tonight. It's bittersweet considering that I treated this girl like a daughter. I definitely feel safer and more secure right now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


In most ways you are safer now. But she is likely to attempt a number of things. Here some things to be on the look out for:

*Identity theft. You can put a 'flag' on your credit reports. I am not sure about how to do this, but I imagine your bank's customer service could give you some direction on it.

*Stealing your mail. Get a Post Office box

*Breaking and entering. Change your locks immediately. Get the locksmith's advice on really sturdy locks!

*Vandalism. Make sure your homeowner's policy is up to date. Maybe install a few more outdoor lights, increase the wattage of your existing porch light bulbs, install a motion detector type "game camera" (all of this things could be done for a couple of hundred dollars)

*Arson. Make sure your neighbors know to call the police immediately if they see anybody -- especially her --around the outside of your house, doing anything except under the direction of you or your husband.

*Abducting your grandson. While I do not know the status of your legal "custody" -- be prepared for her to "nab" your grandson. No playing alone in the yard, things like that. Make sure your grandson has your phone numbers and address memorised.
I'm just kind of bummed because a job I interviewed for today, that I really thought I was perfect for, I did not get. Perhaps it's because I need to be here for my GS as CPS is now looking for my grandsons mom now too. She will have to face responsibility now for her actions, and I know that's going to be a hard road but I know I did the right thing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 844118


Perhaps it is just as well you did not get this job right at this moment so you can be home and protect your grandson and your home.

Tell us how things are going. My guess is that she does not quietly fade away.
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Thank you for your advice and support. All has been quiet the last few days. I'm actually feeling really sad that it has come to this. I'm not changing my mind, just thinking about what a mess this is and how I wish things were different. She has the boy during the week per court order, my son says he is fine so I'll prolly see him tomorrow when it's dads visitation weekend unless she pulls something.

The court date to see if it becomes a permanent restraining order is on Thursday of next week.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32450571
United States
01/17/2013 06:28 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
OP I know its hard under the circumstances but stay away from this woman.Do what ever it takes to protect yourself.
Clearly the woman is mentally unstable and the next time she may decide to kill you.Dont trust her in any way and be alert to your surroundings at all times.Change locks,secure windows and doors,etc.Pay attention when getting in and out of your car especially when arriving home.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31557420
United States
01/17/2013 06:29 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
I've been dealing with my grandsons mom for 7 years - on and off outbursts of anger. Tonight was the worst. I try to stay out of their business but stepped in tonight because my 4 year grandson was in the middle of their argument (she got mad and broke a flatscreen TV) My son was trying to leave with my GS and after they left she flipped out on me accusing me of letting him leave with my son (it was dads visitation day) She kicked my jeep, mad, busted my light and then spit in my face. I am beyond upset. My neighbor called the police because she was screaming outside. The ambulance came for me because they were afraid I was having a heart attack. My EKG was all over the place. I denied going to the hospital because I was afraid if she came back and my 4 year GS would be in the middle again and get hurt. I'm torn of what to do - I've tried my best and can't do this anymore. My GS and I are best buddies. It broke my heart he was hiding in my room huddled in a corner scared when they were arguing.

What to do? What to do?
 Quoting: Upset Grandma 844118


You should have called the police and filed charges. But you are clearly too fucking stupid. Now good luck proving all of this in the courts when it comes to custody.

What a moron.
NightWisp

User ID: 25023241
United States
01/17/2013 06:36 PM

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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Have custody transferred to son. Go live with him and Grandson.
Her erratic behavior should show cause for termination of her rights. She assaulted you verbally and battered you with spit which is illegal as disease can be spread that way. Her uncontrolled rage at you will eventually be transferred to the GS and worse for you. She needs help.

Call the cops AND DOCUMENT IT.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12582603
Canada
01/17/2013 06:37 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
Document every incident. Write it down instead of trying to remember. Phone the cops on her.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32405758
United States
01/17/2013 06:47 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
I've been dealing with my grandsons mom for 7 years - on and off outbursts of anger. Tonight was the worst. I try to stay out of their business but stepped in tonight because my 4 year grandson was in the middle of their argument (she got mad and broke a flatscreen TV) My son was trying to leave with my GS and after they left she flipped out on me accusing me of letting him leave with my son (it was dads visitation day) She kicked my jeep, mad, busted my light and then spit in my face. I am beyond upset. My neighbor called the police because she was screaming outside. The ambulance came for me because they were afraid I was having a heart attack. My EKG was all over the place. I denied going to the hospital because I was afraid if she came back and my 4 year GS would be in the middle again and get hurt. I'm torn of what to do - I've tried my best and can't do this anymore. My GS and I are best buddies. It broke my heart he was hiding in my room huddled in a corner scared when they were arguing.

What to do? What to do?
 Quoting: Upset Grandma 844118


clearly this women should be no where in proximity of any children, ever.

what I would do:
A)Report all her destruction of private property
B)Charge her with assault
C)File to remove her parental rights of the child and for a restraining order.

your grandson doesn't need to see this and as you've stated, this is not the first time.

best of luck
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 844118
United States
01/17/2013 07:48 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
I've been dealing with my grandsons mom for 7 years - on and off outbursts of anger. Tonight was the worst. I try to stay out of their business but stepped in tonight because my 4 year grandson was in the middle of their argument (she got mad and broke a flatscreen TV) My son was trying to leave with my GS and after they left she flipped out on me accusing me of letting him leave with my son (it was dads visitation day) She kicked my jeep, mad, busted my light and then spit in my face. I am beyond upset. My neighbor called the police because she was screaming outside. The ambulance came for me because they were afraid I was having a heart attack. My EKG was all over the place. I denied going to the hospital because I was afraid if she came back and my 4 year GS would be in the middle again and get hurt. I'm torn of what to do - I've tried my best and can't do this anymore. My GS and I are best buddies. It broke my heart he was hiding in my room huddled in a corner scared when they were arguing.

What to do? What to do?
 Quoting: Upset Grandma 844118


You should have called the police and filed charges. But you are clearly too fucking stupid. Now good luck proving all of this in the courts when it comes to custody.

What a moron.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31557420


The cop said if I press charges and she alleges that I did anything that he could arrest us both. He also said that the DA would do nothing with it, and I can still file charges now even after the fact. Sure it does not look as good as doing it right away but an incident report is on file and the restraining order was sought immediately.

I've done what needed to be done so far.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25242396
United States
01/17/2013 11:16 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
It's important that you contact the police to follow through with your complaint. You need to also insist that you are pressing charges on her for assault, damaging your property, negligence of child, etc.
The voice of reason..
User ID: 26684355
United States
01/17/2013 11:20 PM
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Re: My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight
That whore jst needs a cunt punk.! Prob solved. : )

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