My sons girlfriend spit in my face tonight

Not alot right now. And I'm a teacher. But they are little so they are exempt lol. At least I can joke a bit right now. That's a good sign.

update:

Got my tooth pulled today and filed the restraining order yesterday. The GS's mother is on the war path now. Threatening we wont see grandson cause shes going to file paperwork to keep him from dad and us. Says all this is our fault - takes NO responsibility for what she did. NADA. Sends me a happy face trying to f$$$ with me. I text her back and said don't contact me anymore. I don't want to have a relationship with you unless you get some help. Then she starts texting me back calling me stupid.

I'm not going to be baited and I'm not going to respond. Period.

I should find out tomorrow if the order was approved and I've also called the officer twice yesterday to follow though with pressing charges. I want her to have to be responsible for what she did.

She is breaking the law by contacting you when the restraining order is in effect. If she keeps pestering you get her locked up.

Hope it works out okay for you and especially your GS.

Call Jerry Springer

Was it the son's girlfriend or the girlfriend's mother who texted you?

You would be wise to block all email or text from her or her mother.

Use a phone answering machine and let it answer all of your phone calls.

Keep any recordings she or her mother may leave.

Never respond to them. Or to anyone calling on her 'behalf'.

And bravo for you finding the intestinal fortitude to go through with pressing charges against her!

SLAP THAT BITCH IN THE MOUTH LIKE A WHORE

That's out of line.

The OP is showing clarity and courage in her actions, and has lifted herself way above the dysfunctional category.

She is putting her part of the world right by taking care of her health, seeking responsible legal advice, and by following through with the tasks in front of her.

The OP will need to keep herself on this steady course of legal, self-respecting action through actions that will tug on the heartstrings, but she has shown that she has the integrity to carry through and not get sucked down to Jerry Springer level.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

No.

If and only if self-defense is necessary -- then the OP could and should respond with something other than a 'slap'.

That kind of spit/slap, spit/slap idiocy is the stuff of dysfunctional homes.

OP is lifting herself above that by following a tough, no-nonsense legal course of action.

She will ultimately prevail, maintaining the health, safety and self respect of herself and her immediate family -- legally.

Thank you. I think the tears are finally catching up to me. Big ones, I know I've been holding alot in.
I do have to admit I ended up having a text "conversation" with her (if you could call it that) I don't know if the judge approved the order, I have to check today but I was able to say to her in a loving way what I felt about what she did and how demeaning that was (by text)
All that came out of her mouth was truly evil and ugly. I don't know if I can save these messages to show her character but anyone looking at these would be like "wow" she is not right in her head. Next step could be CPS because I am afraid in her state she may do something stupid with the GS. When she has got mad before she has threatened to leave him alone somewhere - said and done all kinds of mean things. When she gets to this point in her anger I am truly afraid. I hope the judge granted the order. I have known her 7 years and I know what's she like when shes raging and it's very scary and ugly.

You do need someone to share your feelings with. If you need someone outside of the family (although your husband may be supportive anc clear-thinking, he may not provide the emotional support you need), I suggest you contact your local women's shelter about support groups or individual counselling. You are, after all a woman who has been assaulted in her own home.



You put yourself through that, and it was not necessary. You will be best off severing all contact with the assailant and her mother -- with anyone who is involved in this and is not fully supportive of you and your wellbeing.

Write them off. Block their email and texts. Use a phone answering machine for all your incoming calls. Halt all contact with them. If one of them shows up on your doorstep, call the police immediately.




Yes, and the sooner the better. Give them your police report number on the recent assault, and tell them what you just wrote -- that she has threatened to abandon the boy.

<----- former social worker

Went down to the courthouse, found out the the restraining order was rejected because they self help law group gave me the wrong one. This is not considered a domestic violence order because she is not legally married to my son. So I have to refile a civil harassment to get a restraining order. Filled it all out, and included what she said to me in her text messages last night. Will go down and refile tomorrow and hopefully there will be an order by Friday. Meanwhile she has been moving her stuff out.

Also talked to the cop. He said the DA will not prosecute if I file assault charges because it's going to be a she said/he said type thing with no other witnesses. That there is no evidence she spit in my face or witness that she kicked and broke my jeep light. My neighbor said she did not see her actually do it and came outside when she heard her screaming and yelling. My son would have to file on his own about the tv.

Makes me sick to know she is already trying to twist my 4 yo GS around. In one of her texts she said he will hate me. No doubt she will poison his precious little mind. The one stable thing he could always rely on was Grandmas love. I hope when my son goes to get him for visitation I can see him this weekend unless she has some plan for that not to happen. She says it will be months before he gets to see him again. Sick stuff she's doing and so sad for little guy. I'm praying hard.

She's back. This sucks to be afraid to go to bed.

I hope you have moved all of your valuables into a safe place where she has no access. If not, the do so immediately.

Not just jewelry, but family pictures, heirlooms, and especially any financial documents and anything with your or your husband's social security number on it. Store away out of her access things like mortgage papers, paid bills, bank records, previous years' income taxes. Definitely make sure she has no access to your unused checkbooks, debit or credit cards. Or the information to "replace" them.

When you drop the hammer down, you and your husbands will very likely become targets for identity theft. She may not have already planned ahead to do it, but she will very likely do it.

Just putting things away in a locked room or locking file cabinet is not enough. She could take a door off its hinges.

Store things off site.

So far as your thoughts about dealing with her compassionately, shut those down.

Do not let her twist you into emotional knots with threats about your grandson.

Right now you are in a battel for your life and your future as you know it. Deal with her ruthlessly.

Her type tends to crumble when they come up agaist someone who acts rationally, rather than emotionally.

Get very deeply cold inside. Set emotions aside and do what is in front of you to do.

She will find herself new outlets and victims.

Far from showing your grandson that you do not care about him, you will be showing your grandson and example of strength and integrity -- perhaps the first one he has ever seen.

Take care of yourself FIRST and FOREMOST.

Shit happends
OP, you seem like nice person
In my country there is old saying "Dobar covjek, dobra budala" or rugly translated as "a good man, a good fool"
So dont be so nice, take a stand.
On short terms situation is shit but in long term there is hope.
Endure.

Great advice....

Checking in on you, OP, and hoping you are making progress towards putting this nightmare behind you.

Kinky

Thank you Mocking. Your posts are giving me strength, and so are the other kind people here. So I went down to the CH and filed the correct restraining order. Part of that order was letting her know what I was doing so I texted her and said "I am fling a restraining order". TSHF now. I came home she is raging yelling arguing with son and I said nothing. My husband and I stayed in the backroom and listened to her demean, manipulate and say God-awful things. It took all my self control not to run up there and respond. I called my therapist and got an emergency appt. to talk to her today. No doubt CPS will be called now but I think it's the safest thing for my GS right now. She drove her car in the driveway real fast almost hitting our cat. She is out of control and things are escalating. I just prayed with my neighbor for angels to protect my GS.

What a blessing because when I went to the court I actually had the good fortune to get the family law attorney who said "you have another case here that was filed for grandparents rights". So she attached the file to the restraining order request. Now the judge will see the history from over a year ago when I flied this because she was keeping the GS away from us. God is good.

Things sre going to get much worse before they get better but God is with with me and my husband is going to go with me to my counselor today. One step at a time.

She says she has a contract and will stay here unless she gets evicted.

She's living in your home.......Get her out fast OP. She can go live with her own parent.
You are a very brave lady :)
Makes sure you save every text and email and record all phone conversations.

Agreed , its nice to know you can post and get advice if you want someone anonymous to help you.....so please don't be nasty , this lady has had a horrible experience she doesn't need anyone else being mean....

Thanks, I need to figure out how I can send these texts to my email in case I lose my phone or it crashes. Then I can print them to take them to court with me.

Stay the fuck out of their business...fucken women I swear. Always gotta get into shit that's none of their business.

Bravo for you, Woman!!!

You did the exact right thing at the exact right time:

Nothing.

And yes, I am sure it did take all of your strength not to respond. But you did the one thing she cannot win against: You kept your calm, your dignity, your self-respect... in short -- You prevailed! You did not lower yourself to her level.

Did she throw things? Do anything in the least bit violent?

If she does, any time in the future -- Call the police immediately.



You may want to get a statement in writing from your neighbor to the effect about her driving dangerously -- and about everything else your neighbor has observed (seen or heard) of her behaviour that has been dangerous over the past few days. A neighbor is unbiased and her testimony may prove very valuable. Talk to ALL of your neighbors, give them a heads up to call the police immediately at the slightest loud noise.



So glad you are meeting with your husband together with your counsellor!

Move forward, forward, forward and keep on doing what is in front of you to do.

This is not time to relent or show compassion. You are showing strength and steadfastness.

That little gal has never encountered cold, relentless fortitude and steadfastness before.

She will not give up her temper tantrums. Get ready for her to get violent. Get ready for her to cry and beg forgiveness. She will do everything but the simple right thing -- move out and get the help she needs.

You are on the right path. A year from now your life will be infinitely brighter and better. See yourself, your husband, your son and grandsom close and safe together. Hold that vision as your goal.

And do what is in front of you to do.

I do not know how to do texting, but I am highlighting this so that some more "modern" readers can see it and give your some help on it.

Do you think with the help of my counselor that I could get a judge to sign an immediate order so that she can't come back? Then I could have a civil stand-by so she could pick up her stuff. I am shaking my nerves are shot and I just want a good nights sleep. Every-time she comes here she is deliberately leaving the front door wide open when she leaves and leaving the door unlocked trying to get any rise she can out of me. She almost hit my cat when she drove in the driveway real fast for a minute I thought she was going to drive right through the house.

This.

don't have kids, people.

Hopefully next time she swallows, huh?

She sounds lovely...