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Reporters shot outside of James Yeagers residence......

 
I.am.the.future.
User ID: 30436606
United States
01/11/2013 10:30 AM
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Reporters shot outside of James Yeagers residence......

<<<< BREAKING NEWS >>>>>

"Dozens of reporters fired upon outside of James Yeager residence...."


Part 3

[youtube] [link to www.youtube.com] [youtube]


Revised Transcript for his Self Defense Claim

(this is straight from the future folks)

"Hey everybody it's me the shit stirring lunatic. I wanted to take a minute to defend myself against shooting several innocent people. I wanted to take a minute to explain myself, I warned you all about emailing, texting, and phoning me. I told you I didn't want you to do it, but you insisted. It seems to me that despite my blatant baiting rants contained within my first video, you interrupted them to mean I wanted attention. You were wrong. I didn't want attention, I simply wanted to wag my (dick) edit guns around in a display of masculinity sprinkled with threats, generously coated in instability.

Let me be clear, I(wanted)edit I neededyou all to believe I was a stand up tough guy freedom fighter. The same as I needed a long fictitious list of nonexistent certifications. I am not one of you PUSSY motherfuckers. End of story. If I had any motive beyond that it would have to be that I was hoping to make some $$$$ for my booming business by riling other paranoid unstable folks to take arms and start shooting, question later.... I wanted to teach you to believe that you could and should. (at least you can with my amazing leadership and tactical advice)

Now since the time of my original video, and inevitable sequel (god do I love you guys, you have made me the rockstar I always knew deep down in my heart that I was born to be) I had edited my original video which started this all, and rocketed me to where I always should have been... in my rightful totem placing of HERO and genius. But, I had to do this because those other people wouldn't stop trying to contact me. I am speaking to YOU!!..You shills, you implanted government agents, those of you who were hired for the task of pushing me over the edge. It is you who carries the blame.
I warned you all. I said in video 2 that I demanded you all to give me my original video back. In a brazen display of my ignorance I truly believed that one was protected by freedom of speech, and therefore could post whatever crazy shit they wanted online, and then retract it later. I had no way of knowing that once I posted it, it would exist forever. In fact the only way that it does exist forever is because of the government implanted shills that insist about STEALING and POSTING my video over and over.

You are also to blame for my actions.
I also need to add that you fucking people who sent me legal advice and are not lawyers, you fuckers think you have the right to pretend to have certifications you do not, because I did? huh? (I'll shoot a mother fucker)

Now, while initially I was getting the biggest woody you ever did see when I became an overnight sensation... that turned to a limp bit of fleshy fear when I began to realize that there may be legal, if not personal/moral, consequences to my actions. (Karma is a bitch and a pussy) This, along with YOU shills who stole my video and insisted on contacting me after I warned you not to... you assholes who stole my property... you are the cause for my break.

Despite my fear and growing anxiety (or my recent crimes) I want you all to rest assured I am still your guru authority on what to do. To those of you looking to pay me money for advice, please continue to send money, as I will need it for my legal defense.
In an unfortunate twist of irony it will not be my guns (which I love and sleep with and cuddle and give girly names) but other unstable, unable to think for themselves individuals that have fear to buy and irrational anger to feed upon, that can be my only salvation. I need you.

So, did I shoot those (motherfuckers) edit people yes I did. Yes, I did. BUT I was convinced at the time that those were not reporters standing in hoards outside my home, but the very government shills sent to take my guns. I was angry at the time. It was a split decision. I felt threatened. I was angry and made a high pressure moment's choice to do what I knew I had to do.

I have already told you, in a war zone you shoot first and ask later. (Or ideally, you don't ask, because dead people don't fucking talk)

Those of you of who supported me, those of you who got chills and empowerment by finally finding some (crazy)edit courageous motherfucker to feed your fear induced irrational paranoid anger. You people said to me, "It needed to be said, but you shouldn't have said it." Well, slap my ass and call me a martyr!! That's right people, I was taking one for the team. Team EGO!! so you bitches better send me money so I don't go to jail for shooting the innocent people!! (Do it, or you might be next) (edit) Please.

To all you fair-weather pussies. I explained it already (what, are you too fucking stupid to understand??).... the 2nd amendment was not founded, nor drafted, nor supported by pussies like you. You people who tell me I was doing a disservice. If you aren't ready to go all the way, then you aren't ready to go anywhere.... including jail.
I may not be a man of much brain, but I make up for it in brawn. Well, brawn, and large guns. Anywho... you asshole pussies who said I was making the gun community look bad, you people also carry a portion of responsibility for my actions.
I may not know much about history, and I never actually met the founding fathers (shit, who has) and they may have only had muskets back then... but I am certain they stand behind my actions and would agree that the only noble response from someone of my standard in bravery and patriotism (which sets me apart and above most of you suckers) was the absolute RIGHT thing to do in the defense of freedom. I didn't shoot those people because I liked it, I shot them because I was getting sick of shooting defenseless forest critters and tin cans, and because I was defending your freedoms too. I did it for country. I did it because I was threatened. (I may eventually say I did it because I am a crazy motherfucker, but only if my attorney says I have too)

Now, I was clear in my video that felony assault and murder is not OKAY unless you HAVE to... and that is my defense in a nutshell.... I HAD TO DO IT. You have to be your own judge in times of war..as you hold your weapon steady... because if you wait for the government to tell you it is time to shoot a motherfucker.... well, you pretty much have to be in their army for those kinds of orders... or a cop... or some other kind of defense official. BUT I have my own appointment of authority granted to me by the ultimate authority, MYSELF. I am far more qualified to decide whom is the GOOD guy and who are the enemies... more so than anyone else on this whole sorry fucking planet, trust me, I know some shit.

You won't believe the response I got from all you sheep (edit) intelligent free thinkers. It was over night that you recognized my Godlike status and together we assembled an army. I imagined you there beside me as I was gunning down all those shills outside my house. I imagined you there saying to me, "do it, do it, do it" I could actually hear your voices and your cheers. No, this was not a crime, this was self defense. I am my own judge, I AM the ultimate authority on these things... I am super powerful and smarter than everyone else.... so you HAVE to help me.

Our EGO army led by the bravest of all, your bigger than life not so bright, drizzled in awesome sauce ME... your guru, your teacher, your HERO... I need your help now because I understand that most of the reporters had like families and parents and kids and shit like that, that will surely make them look lovable and worthy of justice in a court of law. You must stand behind me because my woody (edit) wallet (edit) freedom depend upon it. You must rise up and take to the streets!!

I drew my line in the sand, NOT one more inch.... and they walked at LEAST twelve inches toward my front door. They were coming for my guns, I just know it, I have extra intuitive senses. If you rely on your own irrational paranoid perceptions of the world, then I ask you, WHO CAN WE TRUST!!??

Yes, by taking my guns, they were taking your guns, by taking me, they were taking you. By stepping on my tulips, they were stepping on yours. I took one for the team alright. It was time. It was time to act. Waiting was over.
If I am not a good judge of when the time to act was, then who is?? I ask you, who is other than an over night internet sensation with a formidable army of gun nuts (edit) enthusiasts with a paranoid unstable disposition standing with him? Of course I was the best judge, I am a GOD!! Haven't you seen me on the internets? Of course you have!! Everyone has, because I am fucking awesomeness!!

Send me money motherfuckers (edit) please my fellow maniacs, because they said I didn't have a right to kill those people.... but you and I both know I was pushed to it. It was a set up, a frame job... it was war. Please help me because I fear I may be made a larger, balder man's love toy in prison without my guns to protect me.

If you cannot send money would you at least consider taking on the same brave task as I, and post videos and photos online ASAP with you holding your guns... (preferably assault weapons) dressed in fatigues..... (preferably without your face hidden) ranting like a disgruntled postal worker..... (preferably including threats to shoot people) ..... so that it may help distract authorities and the public from what an idiot I am? If more of us do it, I may begin to appear increasingly more normal and stable. Additionally, it may help to tie up their resources, which couldn't hurt at all.

danceiamwith
I.am.the.future. (OP)
User ID: 30436606
United States
01/11/2013 10:44 AM
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Re: Reporters shot outside of James Yeagers residence......
credits;

The above statement was written by myself, James Yeager of the future... just in case you're one of those slow motherfucker pussies.


~ James Yeager
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25801142
United States
01/11/2013 10:53 AM
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Re: Reporters shot outside of James Yeagers residence......
If you cannot tell the diference between reporters and swat coming to take you weapons you probably shouldnt be advising others.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 30436606
United States
01/11/2013 10:57 AM
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Re: Reporters shot outside of James Yeagers residence......
If you cannot tell the diference between reporters and swat coming to take you weapons you probably shouldnt be advising others.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25801142


ya think??!! LOL

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