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Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28249357
Canada
01/12/2013 06:27 PM
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Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32053451
Australia
01/12/2013 06:30 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
Obiwanbeeohbee

User ID: 28634688
United States
01/12/2013 06:30 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
ALL women should read 'How to Have a New Husband by Friday' by Dr. Kevin Leman. (The Birth Order Book guy.)
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something that is completely foolproof, is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools" - Douglas Adams
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28249357
Canada
01/12/2013 06:34 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32053451


the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32053451


You don't know what I do for her. In this last year alone we have been to Cuba, Mexico, Peru, Costa Rica. I am wealthy and she gets wined and dined all of the time. As I said we are best friends in our marriage and we do a lot together. She simply struggles with her sex drive and has admitted this.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31039519
United States
01/12/2013 06:35 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I am with someone I was friends with before living together.
One promise I made him before I moved in was that I would never deny him sex.
We have it daily, we are in our 50's.
I really didn't understand when I was younger how important sex is to men. Now I know it's a driving force.
It really isn't that big of a deal if you care about your partners needs.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 28249357
Canada
01/12/2013 06:37 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I am with someone I was friends with before living together.
One promise I made him before I moved in was that I would never deny him sex.
We have it daily, we are in our 50's.
I really didn't understand when I was younger how important sex is to men. Now I know it's a driving force.
It really isn't that big of a deal if you care about your partners needs.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31039519


I bet you guys have a great marriage!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31039519
United States
01/12/2013 06:39 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I am with someone I was friends with before living together.
One promise I made him before I moved in was that I would never deny him sex.
We have it daily, we are in our 50's.
I really didn't understand when I was younger how important sex is to men. Now I know it's a driving force.
It really isn't that big of a deal if you care about your partners needs.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31039519


I bet you guys have a great marriage!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


It works .... It's the most mature relationship I ever had.
lol

I am glad we are together.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26339639
Canada
01/12/2013 06:54 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Hey OP,

Just a few questions, trying to determine if you ended up in a bad situation or brought it on yourself.

How old were you when you got married? How old was she?
How long were you together first?
Did you live together first, if so for how long?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4804472
United States
01/12/2013 06:54 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31891005
United States
01/12/2013 06:56 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Welcome to real life. Look, if women had the sex drive that men have, they'd get laid constantly, and they'd cheat on you constantly because they look good, and can get it anytime they want, and are weak willed. The reduced sex drive is necessary to keep the wife with the husband.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26339639
Canada
01/12/2013 06:58 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Poor choices and no backbone to correct them are the causes of a sexless marriage. Cheating is not "healthy for a relationship", you dope, it only benefits the cheater.

If you're in an unsatisfying relationship, why don't you be a fucking man and do something about it, instead of dicking around on the side like a scared child. Do yourself a favor and end the fucking thing, so you both can go find a fulfilling relationship on your own.

Only an immature, spineless cunt cheats on their partner instead of ending a relationship that no longer works.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30688956
United States
01/12/2013 06:59 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
"I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore."

You're way too focused on sex. If your "love " is dependent on how much she puts out you don't really love her.

OTOH, only twice a month is very selfish of her. Have an honest conversation with her, and if that doesn't work see a Christian counselor together. There's a reason she's no longer interested in sex, she just hasn't told you. If she won't go along and really doesn't care about your needs, be prepared to part with half your stuff because it's only a matter of time. Been there, done that. Don't give up, divorce is not fun.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 30688956
United States
01/12/2013 06:59 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Poor choices and no backbone to correct them are the causes of a sexless marriage. Cheating is not "healthy for a relationship", you dope, it only benefits the cheater.

If you're in an unsatisfying relationship, why don't you be a fucking man and do something about it, instead of dicking around on the side like a scared child. Do yourself a favor and end the fucking thing, so you both can go find a fulfilling relationship on your own.

Only an immature, spineless cunt cheats on their partner instead of ending a relationship that no longer works.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


This is correct.
geminilion

User ID: 12895036
United States
01/12/2013 07:03 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I am with someone I was friends with before living together.
One promise I made him before I moved in was that I would never deny him sex.
We have it daily, we are in our 50's.
I really didn't understand when I was younger how important sex is to men. Now I know it's a driving force.
It really isn't that big of a deal if you care about your partners needs.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31039519


I never denied my husband or my boyfriends (not that I had a lot). I always tried to keep it spicy and not boring. Ladies need to communicate with their SO's about what they like as well.
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32029552
Germany
01/12/2013 07:05 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 KJV
(2) Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
(3) Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
(4) The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
(5) Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
SLIPPERY NIPPPS

User ID: 32005477
United States
01/12/2013 07:05 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Buy her a Sybian, that should get her goin. Are you sure she is not the one cheating?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31735474
United States
01/12/2013 07:10 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
You have to do things sometimes because you know the other person likes it.

I like to surprise my man by waking him up early morning or at night and doing interesting things to him. Sometimes I just get the idea "I bet he would like it about now." I am completely not in the mood. But I get started and--guess what, suddenly I am in the mood.

People in committed relationships need to stop treating sex like it is such a big deal. You should not need a damned appointment to have sex. And (this goes for man and woman) pleasuring the partner when you are not driven to do so, but doing it out of goodness and love for them REALLY goes a long way.

I love my man and will keep on doing this for him forever.
christian
Suited up and Armored in Christ!

User ID: 6038128
United States
01/12/2013 07:10 PM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
You have way to much time on your hands...


Your wife needs to give you a *HONEY DO LIST*

Why don't you plant a vegetable garden for your family so you can eat some fresh veggies...

Why don't you do some Manual Labor instead of having your brain always fixed on your carnal needs..


The Devil is tempting you like no other and you are falling for it...


Grow some be a MAN to your wife not a wuss...
Susie

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.....Matthew 6:21
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32060605
United Kingdom
01/12/2013 07:11 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
eat more celery op, that should work..
darkminded

User ID: 26396568
United States
01/12/2013 07:17 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


I am really sorry for your situation. Have you tried natural remedies for her? Have her try huge doses of Vitamin E or have her see a doctor and see if he or she can help with medication. Please don't give up until you try everything.
I have been with my husband for twelve years and we do it everyday also. We BOTH recognize that having a strong sexual relationship helps to bond you. I wish you all the best.
Mr. D
User ID: 4603964
United States
01/12/2013 07:19 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
At least she is being honest about her sex drive. Is she taking some kind of hormonal medication? That can really mess up a women's sex drive. ( I found out after the divorce :\ )
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32065695
United States
01/12/2013 07:20 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I am with someone I was friends with before living together.
One promise I made him before I moved in was that I would never deny him sex.
We have it daily, we are in our 50's.
I really didn't understand when I was younger how important sex is to men. Now I know it's a driving force.
It really isn't that big of a deal if you care about your partners needs.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31039519



Pics or it didn't happen.....
darkminded

User ID: 26396568
United States
01/12/2013 07:21 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I am with someone I was friends with before living together.
One promise I made him before I moved in was that I would never deny him sex.
We have it daily, we are in our 50's.
I really didn't understand when I was younger how important sex is to men. Now I know it's a driving force.
It really isn't that big of a deal if you care about your partners needs.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31039519


My husband and I are exactly like you. We both agreed to NEVER say no. It works! Think about it, saying "no" to your partner can be damaging to their self-esteem.
darkminded

User ID: 26396568
United States
01/12/2013 07:23 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Hey buddy, go stick it in an electrical outlet.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11360402
United States
01/12/2013 07:24 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Hate to say it ,but it sounds like She might be cheating on You..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4804472
United States
01/12/2013 07:26 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Poor choices and no backbone to correct them are the causes of a sexless marriage. Cheating is not "healthy for a relationship", you dope, it only benefits the cheater.

If you're in an unsatisfying relationship, why don't you be a fucking man and do something about it, instead of dicking around on the side like a scared child. Do yourself a favor and end the fucking thing, so you both can go find a fulfilling relationship on your own.

Only an immature, spineless cunt cheats on their partner instead of ending a relationship that no longer works.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


Says the guy who gets none or has a cheating wife. So many people grow up in tv land and think that's how the real world is. We are animals, it's undeniable no matter how much tv you watch.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 6038128
United States
01/12/2013 07:27 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
My husband and I had a very active sex life, but the last 2 years I Have had problems with Hot Flashes, Bladder leakage, Gas, Acid Reflux SLEEP problems, so instead of asking for sex, he asks me to make my spectacular chocolate chip cookies and we watch Netflix and laugh a lot...


Sometimes things change, it's a normal pattern of life.
Saratonin

User ID: 6418504
United States
01/12/2013 07:27 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
She's probably cheating if she isn't interested in you.
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13230523
United States
01/12/2013 07:28 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I am with someone I was friends with before living together.
One promise I made him before I moved in was that I would never deny him sex.
We have it daily, we are in our 50's.
I really didn't understand when I was younger how important sex is to men. Now I know it's a driving force.
It really isn't that big of a deal if you care about your partners needs.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31039519


I hope to find one of you gems one day <3
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 10525403
United Kingdom
01/12/2013 07:30 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
OP its probably just you who has become boring
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4804472
United States
01/12/2013 07:30 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
The majority thinks it wrong to have more than one partner because that's what they were told by people who want you to live their life. Either that or religion, in nature there are few animals that keep only one partner and its usually those with short lifespans. Coincidence?

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