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Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there

 
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:31 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Sorry to hear that OP, its a real problem, not just for men, but women too, when the other partner lacks in sex drive.

If the marriage is worth it, find the culprit...

Usually it boils down to something wrong medically or emotionally....both which can be worked out.
darkminded

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01/12/2013 07:32 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
My husband and I had a very active sex life, but the last 2 years I Have had problems with Hot Flashes, Bladder leakage, Gas, Acid Reflux SLEEP problems, so instead of asking for sex, he asks me to make my spectacular chocolate chip cookies and we watch Netflix and laugh a lot...


Sometimes things change, it's a normal pattern of life.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6038128


There are pills for hot flashes, gas, acid reflux, and sleep problems. They can fix your bladder with a quick surgery now. Please do not think for one second that your husband would rather have a cookie than sex. Trust me, I broke my leg so bad once and was in a wheelchair but we just put that casted monster aside and tried all kinds of new positions.
gym rat
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01/12/2013 07:33 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
If it's good she will keep coming back... hint
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:34 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Poor choices and no backbone to correct them are the causes of a sexless marriage. Cheating is not "healthy for a relationship", you dope, it only benefits the cheater.

If you're in an unsatisfying relationship, why don't you be a fucking man and do something about it, instead of dicking around on the side like a scared child. Do yourself a favor and end the fucking thing, so you both can go find a fulfilling relationship on your own.

Only an immature, spineless cunt cheats on their partner instead of ending a relationship that no longer works.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


Says the guy who gets none or has a cheating wife. So many people grow up in tv land and think that's how the real world is. We are animals, it's undeniable no matter how much tv you watch.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Suck it. I'm in the third year of a committed, live-together relationship, and have had enough relationships in the past to know what a healthy one looks like. I'm also not stupid enough to marry someone without testing our long-term compatibility by living together.

And if the relationship did go south, I would have the balls to end it, instead of dicking around like a fucking coward.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:38 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32053451


WRONG!

Typical bitch excuse. She lied in the beginning by leading him on. There is no excuse for the change in her behavior nor for all the other women out there who pull the same stunt. You libido doesn't just change like that. And if your feelings for the man changed or you ALLOWED them to change then the man is perfectly justified in changing his feelings as well. No double standards.

More dates and dinners? Seriously? Try more blowjobs first, then you'll get your meal.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:39 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
The majority thinks it wrong to have more than one partner because that's what they were told by people who want you to live their life. Either that or religion, in nature there are few animals that keep only one partner and its usually those with short lifespans. Coincidence?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472



Then find a polygamous partner and don't get married, jackass.

Don't wanna commit? Then don't. Just make sure your cards are on the table up front so everyone knows what they're getting into.

Agreeing and committing to a monogamous relationship, and then realizing you can't live without other snatch, means you shouldn't have started a relationship in the first place. The mature and adult thing to do is to end it then and there, and go seek out your jollies with no strings attached.

Nobody's holding a gun to your head and making you commit. Unless it's your significant other, and if that's not cool with you, don't fucking do it.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:41 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Poor choices and no backbone to correct them are the causes of a sexless marriage. Cheating is not "healthy for a relationship", you dope, it only benefits the cheater.

If you're in an unsatisfying relationship, why don't you be a fucking man and do something about it, instead of dicking around on the side like a scared child. Do yourself a favor and end the fucking thing, so you both can go find a fulfilling relationship on your own.

Only an immature, spineless cunt cheats on their partner instead of ending a relationship that no longer works.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


Says the guy who gets none or has a cheating wife. So many people grow up in tv land and think that's how the real world is. We are animals, it's undeniable no matter how much tv you watch.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Suck it. I'm in the third year of a committed, live-together relationship, and have had enough relationships in the past to know what a healthy one looks like. I'm also not stupid enough to marry someone without testing our long-term compatibility by living together.

And if the relationship did go south, I would have the balls to end it, instead of dicking around like a fucking coward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


You're already a forgone conclusion, won't be long until she meets a real man. You sound so whipped, I don't think you have any balls.
wisc_natureboy

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01/12/2013 07:44 PM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Poor choices and no backbone to correct them are the causes of a sexless marriage. Cheating is not "healthy for a relationship", you dope, it only benefits the cheater.

If you're in an unsatisfying relationship, why don't you be a fucking man and do something about it, instead of dicking around on the side like a scared child. Do yourself a favor and end the fucking thing, so you both can go find a fulfilling relationship on your own.

Only an immature, spineless cunt cheats on their partner instead of ending a relationship that no longer works.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


OP, as rough as this guy is, I agree with him.

However, if you're not ready to give up yet, try to figure her out.
What are her overt erogenous zones? No, not between her legs.
I dated a woman once her got very turned on when I tightly held her by her hips.
Another woman I dated would practically drop her drawers when I lightly touched the small of her back.

Erogenous zones are more than lips, neck, etc...

Good luck OP.
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Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:47 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
...


Poor choices and no backbone to correct them are the causes of a sexless marriage. Cheating is not "healthy for a relationship", you dope, it only benefits the cheater.

If you're in an unsatisfying relationship, why don't you be a fucking man and do something about it, instead of dicking around on the side like a scared child. Do yourself a favor and end the fucking thing, so you both can go find a fulfilling relationship on your own.

Only an immature, spineless cunt cheats on their partner instead of ending a relationship that no longer works.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


Says the guy who gets none or has a cheating wife. So many people grow up in tv land and think that's how the real world is. We are animals, it's undeniable no matter how much tv you watch.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Suck it. I'm in the third year of a committed, live-together relationship, and have had enough relationships in the past to know what a healthy one looks like. I'm also not stupid enough to marry someone without testing our long-term compatibility by living together.

And if the relationship did go south, I would have the balls to end it, instead of dicking around like a fucking coward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


You're already a forgone conclusion, won't be long until she meets a real man. You sound so whipped, I don't think you have any balls.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Says the coward who's too chicken shit to tell his woman it's no longer working out.

I got a lot more balls than you if I'm willing to deal with my relationships like a man instead of skulking around behind my partner's back when things get unsatisfying.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:48 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
The majority thinks it wrong to have more than one partner because that's what they were told by people who want you to live their life. Either that or religion, in nature there are few animals that keep only one partner and its usually those with short lifespans. Coincidence?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472



Then find a polygamous partner and don't get married, jackass.

Don't wanna commit? Then don't. Just make sure your cards are on the table up front so everyone knows what they're getting into.

Agreeing and committing to a monogamous relationship, and then realizing you can't live without other snatch, means you shouldn't have started a relationship in the first place. The mature and adult thing to do is to end it then and there, and go seek out your jollies with no strings attached.

Nobody's holding a gun to your head and making you commit. Unless it's your significant other, and if that's not cool with you, don't fucking do it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


All the cards were on the table. Simply put, if the she doesn't fulfill her duties, I will find someone who will. Once the physical relationship goes, the rest is sure to follow. If it is because she lacks the ability, due to medical, genetics, or whatever and you can fill the gap while maintaining the emotional side, I say go right ahead, everyone's happy.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:53 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


So true. I do it whether I am in the mood or not because I know he really needs it. He also gives great foot/back rubs so I have something to look forward to after the fact. We trade off something I like for something he likes. Your wife might want to look into hormone treatments as well. Maybe she is low on progesterone which can mess up the libido big time. They have over the counter creams for that. Might want to google it up and educate yourself on the stage of life your wife is in and then talk to her about it. Or find a doc that does natural hormone treatments. Try to make it work and don't give up on her. You will just find problems with other women or even a sexually transmitted disease.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:53 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Also keep in mind, everyone is speaking in THEIR terms of relationship. There are a lot of sheeple who follow the herd. My idea of relationship is different because I live my own life. Key part is make everyone including yourself happy, do whatever it takes. Don't listen to anyone because they are not in your shoes and everyone's variables are different.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:54 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Cheating is not healthy. That is bad advice.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:57 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Sorry to hear that OP, its a real problem, not just for men, but women too, when the other partner lacks in sex drive.

If the marriage is worth it, find the culprit...

Usually it boils down to something wrong medically or emotionally....both which can be worked out.
 Quoting: J&V


True. And since OP is wealthy he can afford to find out what is wrong with her. Saliva testing can be done to figure out if it is hormone related. If it isn't then she might need a therapist because OP needs to be upfront with her that he will cheat/leave her if things don't improve. She needs a wake up call.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:57 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Sorry to hear that OP, its a real problem, not just for men, but women too, when the other partner lacks in sex drive.

If the marriage is worth it, find the culprit...

Usually it boils down to something wrong medically or emotionally....both which can be worked out.
 Quoting: J&V


True. And since OP is wealthy he can afford to find out what is wrong with her. Saliva testing can be done to figure out if it is hormone related. If it isn't then she might need a therapist because OP needs to be upfront with her that he will cheat/leave her if things don't improve. She needs a wake up call.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 07:58 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Cheating is not healthy. That is bad advice.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


Exactly, it's just someone trying to justify their own failed relationship instead of fixing or ending it. Making excuses and lacking the balls to take responsibility.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 08:06 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Cheating is not healthy. That is bad advice.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


Exactly, it's just someone trying to justify their own failed relationship instead of fixing or ending it. Making excuses and lacking the balls to take responsibility.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


These comments are probably from full blown Stiffs living in imaginaria. They are probably loaded on Prozac and they are the cheatee.
Useless Cookie Eater

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01/12/2013 08:14 PM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32053451


the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32053451


You don't know what I do for her. In this last year alone we have been to Cuba, Mexico, Peru, Costa Rica. I am wealthy and she gets wined and dined all of the time. As I said we are best friends in our marriage and we do a lot together. She simply struggles with her sex drive and has admitted this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


You have two choices then.

1) Get a piece on the side.
2) Divorce. Since you are well off, finding another woman overseas should not be too difficult.

At some point you will need to do something though.
This is bottled up and building inside you and one day it's going to crumble on it's own anyway.
Best to make plans before it does.

Hopefully you have no kids together.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/12/2013 08:25 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32053451


the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32053451


You don't know what I do for her. In this last year alone we have been to Cuba, Mexico, Peru, Costa Rica. I am wealthy and she gets wined and dined all of the time. As I said we are best friends in our marriage and we do a lot together. She simply struggles with her sex drive and has admitted this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


You have two choices then.

1) Get a piece on the side.
2) Divorce. Since you are well off, finding another woman overseas should not be too difficult.

At some point you will need to do something though.
This is bottled up and building inside you and one day it's going to crumble on it's own anyway.
Best to make plans before it does.

Hopefully you have no kids together.
 Quoting: Useless Cookie Eater


No we dont have kids. This thread was not intended for advice it was intended to let women know what drives a good guy to think about cheating and or leaving.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 08:31 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
pigchef
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 08:33 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
As a woman entering the menopausal years, so glad I'm not obligated to have sex with anybody when I don't feel like it. What a drag that must be. And not having to take any dangerous hormone pills to make sure my libido stays intact.
T-Cain
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01/12/2013 08:35 PM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
This post describes most of our marriages OP. Women are the biggest liars. Just about all of them. Just dont get married. It pretty much guarantees a sexless marriage within time. Then you're the asshole when you find someone. It's a no win situatio.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 08:40 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I recommend the book His Needs, Her Needs for both of you.

Talk about it over dinner.
godhelpus!
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01/12/2013 08:42 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
If you are a wealthy guy that knows how to treat a woman and she won't give it up for you, not having 6 kids to take care of or health problems, then this bitch is cheating on you plain and simple.
InCogNeatOh

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01/12/2013 09:05 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Poor choices and no backbone to correct them are the causes of a sexless marriage. Cheating is not "healthy for a relationship", you dope, it only benefits the cheater.

If you're in an unsatisfying relationship, why don't you be a fucking man and do something about it, instead of dicking around on the side like a scared child. Do yourself a favor and end the fucking thing, so you both can go find a fulfilling relationship on your own.

Only an immature, spineless cunt cheats on their partner instead of ending a relationship that no longer works.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


OP, as rough as this guy is, I agree with him.

However, if you're not ready to give up yet, try to figure her out.
What are her overt erogenous zones? No, not between her legs.
I dated a woman once her got very turned on when I tightly held her by her hips.
Another woman I dated would practically drop her drawers when I lightly touched the small of her back.

Erogenous zones are more than lips, neck, etc...

Good luck OP.
 Quoting: wisc_natureboy



+ 1
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 09:06 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I'm only young with a girlfriend, (But we're mature, and have been together for quite a while!) I wouldn't say the situation is completely the same, you two being older and married.. But at times if my girlfriend isn't "In the mood" I do find myself quite agitated, and I really hate myself for it, it makes me feel like its all I want/need her for, when thats not true, I love being with her and spending time with her.. I'd never say its enough for me to cheat on her, if anything and it was THAT terrible I'd simply leave her first, there is no excuse on this planet for cheating, heck I find cheating sometimes more disgusting than murder, or stealing, no exaggeration. You just don't fuck with a persons feelings like that, can ruin your whole outlook on people.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 09:08 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
* If you cheat on your spouse, you are basically telling them that they're replaceable.

* If your spouse is replaceable, you're with the wrong person.



Simple as that.
Mister ObviousModerator
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01/12/2013 09:13 PM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Not sure why OP would want to stay in such a situation...

His wife is no longer attracted to him, she wants a new partner. I mean kudos to him for trying, but it's a waste of time. She'll never want him like she once did.

Last Edited by Mister Obvious on 01/12/2013 09:13 PM
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SimplyDelicious

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01/12/2013 09:22 PM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I already know what causes a man to look elsewhere. Honestly it doesn't take a high sex drive to suck a guy off. I will tell you why at times I wouldn't want to...if you take too long to come. Just get it over with , we get tired of sucking and sucking and you trying to stifle it for as long as possible. If she won't attend to your needs she is just simply being selfish and you should stop attending to her needs. yes I blow my Fiance whenever he wants if I'm not in the mood. That doesn't make me a slut, it means I understand his needs and if I don't meet them he will find someone who will. After we are married I will continue to do the same. A lot of girls think they have the ring, and so your needs don't matter...I lost my first husband that way. Never again will I put my partners needs on the shelf.
Anonymous Coward
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01/12/2013 09:28 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357




Just my opinion. I could be wrong, because I have been faithfully married to my faithful husband for 50 years, and am well aware that times and people are a 'changing, so maybe my ideas are outdated. I believe that if a spouse no longer wants sex with their partner, then the bond that has them together is not love. When two people meet one another's other needs, then they want to be physically close; and physical closeness between them leads to sexual tension. Except in cases where there is a physical--medical-- cause for the dysfunction. When everything else works, the brain is the most important sex organ. The marital union that God intended for man and wife includes sex; they are to be united emotionally, financially, spiritually and physically. The "unequal yokes" that both men and women on this forum are constantly complaining about seem to me to be because everyone in the young generation now expects their spouse to be perfect. We all have strengths and weaknesses, but once the instant gratification is over for the young people today, then the thrill becomes a chill. Too bad nobody's perfect. Couples could keep their physical love alive if they would just be willing to pick up the slack for the other person in the relationship and cherish their mate. If one is unwilling, then I just don't see that the relationship is based on love.

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