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Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there

 
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 12:09 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
You're married and it's your right, so JUST FUCK HER!
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 12:13 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
You're married, so JUST FUCK HER!
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 12:17 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
the greates misconception is that you try to chain your love to one human being. Love should not be bound to one person. true love is universal. nuff said
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 12:18 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
the greates misconception is that you try to chain your love to one human being. Love should not be bound to one person. true love is universal. nuff said
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32083936


Maybe, but sex and intimacy and exchange of bodily fluids IS meant to be bound to one person!
christian
Suited up and Armored in Christ!

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01/13/2013 12:24 AM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Your right, men need food, love, admiration, and sex....

Forget the NOW gang and their new found rules...Men are wired differently and women best learn, what few women understand...Most farm girls understand a mans needs...



I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357

 Quoting: ROM74



Gosh

Now your speaking of Farm Animals..


sheeplebahsheeplebahsheeplebahsheeplebah
Susie

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.....Matthew 6:21
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 12:34 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
...


That's because the elite are Satanists.

I dated plenty in my 20's but had a faithful 13-year relationship with a divorcée and her 3 kids during my 30's.
I didn't cheat, nor did I want to. Cheating is lying.
And yes, there were other women interested.
When I realized I'd be happy to see her happy with another man, I knew it was over.

It is a personal preference, and measure of charactor I guess.
 Quoting: wisc_natureboy


You have been falsely lead to believe monogamy proves character. Most marriages are a failure from the get go!
 Quoting: ****SUPERFLY****


Honesty proves character. He's being dishonest. Forget about the monogamy.
 Quoting: JustCinnamon

Religion invented marriage. Fuck two of the words in my first sentence!
 Quoting: ****SUPERFLY****


Marriage can be a good thing if two people will stick to one another to raise a family and keep sex between themselves. This leads to a stable life for children and for spouses and there is no risk of sexually transmitted diseases which are very real and becoming antibiotic resistant.
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 12:40 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
At least tell her it's at the point you may cheat. That might be enough for her to realize she needs to take your needs seriously and look into enhancements for her sex drive. Low libido sucks for everyone, but she needs to hear you say how serious it is and what she is going to lose.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 5144386


^^

If you aren't willing to tell HER what you've told us, you don't have as great of a relationship as you say you do.

Communication for a woman is like sex is for a man.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25254305


yes, if men want sex then just listen to a woman. don't try to solve her problems. just listen or try to act like you are listening. then she will be yours.
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 12:44 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
The reason I cheat is because I don't see how that would hurt my wife in the grand scheme of things. I don't plan on ditching her and I take care of her. So another girl shows some interest in me and we form a trusting relationship based mostly on sexual companionship. How does that hurt my wife? I'm happier which means shes happier. I still provide, don't hurt her. There is alot you can do to hurt a woman, but cheating is not one of them. That said the perception is that its evil so I am forced to keep it from her because she bought into this media hyped perfect marriage where natural sexual feelings don't exist. So I say relax girls the main issue for relationships failing is alcohol and drugs, financial reasons, and overall unhappiness. As long as you are happy and your man is happy things are good.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11922974


Well, just don't bring her home an STD and some of those things go through condoms. Also make sure the other woman doesn't go postal and make your life and your wife's life a living hell. That has been known to happen. Sex for a woman is an emotional connection and as much as they try to be like a man in having casual sex sometimes it doesn't work that way and they won't give you up and you can guess the rest from there. Don't mess with women and their emotions. If you are going to cheat pay a 'decent' hooker for sex.
nutmeg

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01/13/2013 12:47 AM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


Your Mars aren't compatible in your birth charts. That's my guess.

Last Edited by nutmeg on 01/13/2013 12:53 AM
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 12:48 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
The reason I cheat is because I don't see how that would hurt my wife in the grand scheme of things. I don't plan on ditching her and I take care of her. So another girl shows some interest in me and we form a trusting relationship based mostly on sexual companionship. How does that hurt my wife? I'm happier which means shes happier. I still provide, don't hurt her. There is alot you can do to hurt a woman, but cheating is not one of them. That said the perception is that its evil so I am forced to keep it from her because she bought into this media hyped perfect marriage where natural sexual feelings don't exist. So I say relax girls the main issue for relationships failing is alcohol and drugs, financial reasons, and overall unhappiness. As long as you are happy and your man is happy things are good.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11922974


You don't see how that would hurt your life?

You're an idiot, and I'll prove it- go tell her you're cheating and see how she feels.

Think she won't get hurt?

That's like saying crime is always justifiable as long as a cop doesn't see. So go ahead and tell her if you think it doesn't matter.

I bet you couldn't even stand the idea of her fucking another man.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


Thats exactly why I wont tell her because I don't want her to feel like she is not the most important girl in my life. The perfect marriage you see on tv shows they don't consider the evolutionary instinct to mate with as many girls as possible. Now of course I know its modern times, but still its more natural then being with one girl. That being said I found my best friend and sole mate and I would not leave her for anything. She will never find out as much as I want to tell her and explain that its just some sexual companionship with girls I trust and consider close friends. She would never understand that. Thank you media and crazy standards you set.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11922974


These girls who you call close friends can turn on you in a minute. You are not as safe as you think you are. you really are in a lot of danger. Don't mess with women's emotions. Any women's emotions. And if your wife was your best friend and soul mate you would never cheat on her. Ever. You are just deceiving yourself and your wife. Karma will get you because it likes to keep everything in balance. And you won't know where it is going to come from. But it is coming for you.
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 12:50 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
How many mammals are monogamous and who in the world invented and brainwashed monogamy into humans?

It's a futile arrangement! Hint....the Elites are never monogamous!
 Quoting: ****SUPERFLY****


Well, if you consider yourself an animal without self-control then don't ever get married and don't ever have children.
domesticangel

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01/13/2013 12:58 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Jesus!

Somebody get a shovel...the SHIT is quite deep in this thread!
Free your mind and the rest will follow.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God...Romans 12:2

BE the change you wish to see in the world.
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 12:58 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
How many mammals are monogamous and who in the world invented and brainwashed monogamy into humans?

It's a futile arrangement! Hint....the Elites are never monogamous!
 Quoting: ****SUPERFLY****


Well, if you consider yourself an animal without self-control then don't ever get married and don't ever have children.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1550123


clappa
nutmeg

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01/13/2013 01:13 AM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
OP, if you look at dating sites on the internet I'd bet you would find 20 women in exactly your situation who are looking to keep it on the down low!
 Quoting: John Donson 31493730


I don't condone cheating, but have you ever heard of ashleymadison.com? It's a site for those who want a relationship outside of their marriage. I can't believe that some people post their photos.
alcapo
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01/13/2013 08:03 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


Is your wife a 48-49 year old german-canadian from montreal?
AtsuiPanda

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01/13/2013 08:17 AM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32053451


the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32053451


You don't know what I do for her. In this last year alone we have been to Cuba, Mexico, Peru, Costa Rica. I am wealthy and she gets wined and dined all of the time. As I said we are best friends in our marriage and we do a lot together. She simply struggles with her sex drive and has admitted this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


ecstasy
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 08:34 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
...


You don't see how that would hurt your life?

You're an idiot, and I'll prove it- go tell her you're cheating and see how she feels.

Think she won't get hurt?

That's like saying crime is always justifiable as long as a cop doesn't see. So go ahead and tell her if you think it doesn't matter.

I bet you couldn't even stand the idea of her fucking another man.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


Thats exactly why I wont tell her because I don't want her to feel like she is not the most important girl in my life. The perfect marriage you see on tv shows they don't consider the evolutionary instinct to mate with as many girls as possible. Now of course I know its modern times, but still its more natural then being with one girl. That being said I found my best friend and sole mate and I would not leave her for anything. She will never find out as much as I want to tell her and explain that its just some sexual companionship with girls I trust and consider close friends. She would never understand that. Thank you media and crazy standards you set.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11922974


So you would be fine with her having sex with different men while married to you?
 Quoting: JustCinnamon


I too am victim to the perceived idea of the perfect wife so it might bother me. The point I was trying to bring up here is that if you are happy, and your significant other is happy why worry about stuff like that. Now if something happened where I was planning on leaving her then its an obligation to tell her. But if its real love then nothing will break that apart, especially some love on the side. People are getting offended by this cant say its not instinct to be with as many girls or guys as possible. Now ask yourself would your marriage be better if both parties were happy? I'm not saying everyone is happy by cheating, but whatever it takes to make you happy do it, and your relationship will thrive.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11922974


FFS bro. Just have an OPEN MARRIAGE with your wife and be done with all the justifying bullshit. that way you both have your leave it to beaver marriage for social respect and all the hot sex BOTH of you can handle on the side.
Lucky Charms

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Ireland
01/13/2013 09:07 AM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
see a Christian counselor together.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30688956


What if they are Hindu?

>.>

OT: Mismatched sex drives can be frustrating... obviously you can't be pestering her for sex that she doesn't want all the time... but on the other hand, nobody should have to resort to masturbation out of sexual frustration when the object of their desire is in bed beside them and loves them.

Orgasms are like snickers see?
Look, I don't want a snickers right now right? But my woman does... so I go to the shop and buy her a snickers because it makes her happy.

Next time we'll both have snickers, or maybe she'll go buy one for me.

Do you see what I'm saying?
'Magically Delicious'
ArcanoExAngelos

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01/13/2013 09:23 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Poor choices and no backbone to correct them are the causes of a sexless marriage. Cheating is not "healthy for a relationship", you dope, it only benefits the cheater.

If you're in an unsatisfying relationship, why don't you be a fucking man and do something about it, instead of dicking around on the side like a scared child. Do yourself a favor and end the fucking thing, so you both can go find a fulfilling relationship on your own.

Only an immature, spineless cunt cheats on their partner instead of ending a relationship that no longer works.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


OP, as rough as this guy is, I agree with him.

However, if you're not ready to give up yet, try to figure her out.
What are her overt erogenous zones? No, not between her legs.
I dated a woman once her got very turned on when I tightly held her by her hips.
Another woman I dated would practically drop her drawers when I lightly touched the small of her back.

Erogenous zones are more than lips, neck, etc...

Good luck OP.
 Quoting: wisc_natureboy


Men rarely get that fact on the zones... most men think we have only three zones... But the nape of the back of the neck sucking, foot massages, thigh stroking and face touching really do it for me. Most guys go straight for the nips and the Gigi...
Dutchguy

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01/13/2013 09:45 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
You are the problem of your feelings, if you only find sex as interest of your relation you have some serious issues.

If you don't feel like sharing your life, then stop the bs now before someone gets really hurt.

Mariage is not about sex, relationships to. Sex is a nice thing that people in a relation or mariage do (without relation to but thats not relevant for now).

Thats what is wrong with most people, you have been duped in thinking love is sex and thats it. Thats why only a little percentage of the populace really is happily married.
"If History is thought with oppression, war and genocide, then how else would the future be?"

"How can one learn positive if one only gets preached negative!."
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 10:38 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
...


Thats exactly why I wont tell her because I don't want her to feel like she is not the most important girl in my life. The perfect marriage you see on tv shows they don't consider the evolutionary instinct to mate with as many girls as possible. Now of course I know its modern times, but still its more natural then being with one girl. That being said I found my best friend and sole mate and I would not leave her for anything. She will never find out as much as I want to tell her and explain that its just some sexual companionship with girls I trust and consider close friends. She would never understand that. Thank you media and crazy standards you set.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11922974


So you would be fine with her having sex with different men while married to you?
 Quoting: JustCinnamon


I too am victim to the perceived idea of the perfect wife so it might bother me. The point I was trying to bring up here is that if you are happy, and your significant other is happy why worry about stuff like that. Now if something happened where I was planning on leaving her then its an obligation to tell her. But if its real love then nothing will break that apart, especially some love on the side. People are getting offended by this cant say its not instinct to be with as many girls or guys as possible. Now ask yourself would your marriage be better if both parties were happy? I'm not saying everyone is happy by cheating, but whatever it takes to make you happy do it, and your relationship will thrive.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11922974


FFS bro. Just have an OPEN MARRIAGE with your wife and be done with all the justifying bullshit. that way you both have your leave it to beaver marriage for social respect and all the hot sex BOTH of you can handle on the side.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 9977516


That shit never has worked out, Even the couple that wrote the book about it has said so too.

Just file for divorce,

People are so reluctant to walk away, they are cowards. People have to live true to themselves. Its all about free will.
Anonymous Coward
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Saudi Arabia
01/13/2013 10:47 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


You sound like a fucking Jew. Jews are the maggots of the human race and deserve to be exterminated once and for all!
dglnomore

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01/13/2013 10:52 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


You know, this is the problem with this world. Do you have children? If so, do you realize that you are thinking about ruining your wife's and their lives just because you don't want to find a way to control your impulses or fix things with your wife? What a bunch of BS.

Where have the real men gone? And by the way - go see a therapist or a priest and get off the internet. Better yet - talk to your wife instead of a bunch of total strangers.
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 11:14 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
tell her you want to be a swinger with or without her. that you still want to be with her but you just need more sex.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/13/2013 11:07 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


You know, this is the problem with this world. Do you have children? If so, do you realize that you are thinking about ruining your wife's and their lives just because you don't want to find a way to control your impulses or fix things with your wife? What a bunch of BS.

Where have the real men gone? And by the way - go see a therapist or a priest and get off the internet. Better yet - talk to your wife instead of a bunch of total strangers.
 Quoting: dglnomore

I didn't ask for advice, I was giving advice to women. I was letting them know what drives men to cheat and how easy it is to keep your man in love with you. Men express love through intimacy, touch, and sex. It is part if the glue that makes us love and move mountains for them. I don't have children and I am a real man. I own several businesses, carry no debts abc if I retired at 36, I wouldn't have to work another day in my life. I am religious and I have tried talking to my wife about thus on several occasions. She told me once about 5 years ago when we had the same discussion, "great, this us just another thing I have to do". She never had to work and I don't have to put in Huge amounts of time into my business as I have a lot of residual income sources and a management team. This allows us to travel all over the world, take classes together, hike, camp, snow shoe, volunteer at the non-profit component if my company etc. We spend a lot if time together and view each other as best friends. Thus is what makes it so hard, there are many great things about her, but the frustration of being intimate on average twice a month and having her see it as a chore is what is killing me. It is the deal breaker and I am warning women that they can have a great guy that they take for granted and if they want to keep their marriage happy and keep the husbands thoughts from straying then she needs to speak the language that men express love through and that is sexual contact. It is a spiritual bonding that separates a good and best friend from just being a best friend. I don't need advice in what to do here as my plan is to leave my wife and not cheat on her. This thread was simply for women to understand the perspective of men. As for controlling impulses, look where that gas taken the Catholic Church. I am not apologizing for wanting a marriage where a man a wife express their live for each other and bond more than once to twice a month. If you want to get biblical there is a reason why the bible stated that women shouldn't deny their husbands. It leads to stress, frustration, feelings of despise, and it leads to unhealthy temptations like thinking about cheating, Internet pornography, masterbation etc. I just want a wife who lives me as much as I love her.
Anonymous Coward
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01/13/2013 11:18 PM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Have you asked HER what you need to do in order for her to be attracted to you again?

Marriage takes 2 to fail, and if you think you're perfect and the demise of the marriage is all on her, your going to make the same mistakes in your next relationship.

If you're not willing to do some introspection on yourself, and just want to blame...well good luck with that!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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Canada
01/14/2013 01:37 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Have you asked HER what you need to do in order for her to be attracted to you again?

Marriage takes 2 to fail, and if you think you're perfect and the demise of the marriage is all on her, your going to make the same mistakes in your next relationship.

If you're not willing to do some introspection on yourself, and just want to blame...well good luck with that!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25254305


I never said I was perfect, but I am a great provider, listener, and friend to my wife. We grow together intellectually as friends, just not as lovers. I believe the core problem with her sex drive is related to her strict religious upbringing and her guilt for sexual intimacy. She says that she is still attracted to me, but that she just lacks the sex drive and she doesn't find sex appealing period. She perceives it as a duty and she has said outright in one of our discussions that she could live without it for the rest of her life and be quite happy not thinking about it with anyone. I guess you'd have to see if from within to see that she really doesn't have a sex drive with me, anyone else or even herself. What this 10 year marriage has taught me is that some women are takers and some are givers. My wife is a taker that gives very little back to anyone in her life including her friends. If I would have recognized this in her at the beginning I would have never have dated her let alone married her. When we were dating she felt like I was about to break up with her and she sent me an email stating that "to wish for a bracelet of blood was cathartic", and she cut her wrists (slightly) with a knife to make me feel sorry for her and stay. I wasn't even thinking about breaking up with her at that time, I was just busy studying for exams as it was my last year in business school. My friends told me that I should have ran and I should have listened. My thoughts on this now that I am a bit older and wiser is that this was an extremely selfish act on her part and it speaks volumes of who she is.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17268859
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01/14/2013 02:09 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


Darlin', before you go doing something really stupid..I suggest you print out this note and show it to your wife.

Tell HER--not us. She needs to know how much this is affecting you.

good luck. I'd hate to see you lose a good marriage over bad communication.
Anonymous Coward
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Germany
01/14/2013 02:58 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357


You know, this is the problem with this world. Do you have children? If so, do you realize that you are thinking about ruining your wife's and their lives just because you don't want to find a way to control your impulses or fix things with your wife? What a bunch of BS.

Where have the real men gone? And by the way - go see a therapist or a priest and get off the internet. Better yet - talk to your wife instead of a bunch of total strangers.
 Quoting: dglnomore

I didn't ask for advice, I was giving advice to women. I was letting them know what drives men to cheat and how easy it is to keep your man in love with you. Men express love through intimacy, touch, and sex. It is part if the glue that makes us love and move mountains for them. I don't have children and I am a real man. I own several businesses, carry no debts abc if I retired at 36, I wouldn't have to work another day in my life. I am religious and I have tried talking to my wife about thus on several occasions. She told me once about 5 years ago when we had the same discussion, "great, this us just another thing I have to do". She never had to work and I don't have to put in Huge amounts of time into my business as I have a lot of residual income sources and a management team. This allows us to travel all over the world, take classes together, hike, camp, snow shoe, volunteer at the non-profit component if my company etc. We spend a lot if time together and view each other as best friends. Thus is what makes it so hard, there are many great things about her, but the frustration of being intimate on average twice a month and having her see it as a chore is what is killing me. It is the deal breaker and I am warning women that they can have a great guy that they take for granted and if they want to keep their marriage happy and keep the husbands thoughts from straying then she needs to speak the language that men express love through and that is sexual contact. It is a spiritual bonding that separates a good and best friend from just being a best friend. I don't need advice in what to do here as my plan is to leave my wife and not cheat on her. This thread was simply for women to understand the perspective of men. As for controlling impulses, look where that gas taken the Catholic Church. I am not apologizing for wanting a marriage where a man a wife express their live for each other and bond more than once to twice a month. If you want to get biblical there is a reason why the bible stated that women shouldn't deny their husbands. It leads to stress, frustration, feelings of despise, and it leads to unhealthy temptations like thinking about cheating, Internet pornography, masterbation etc. I just want a wife who lives me as much as I love her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357




bsflagIn normal heterosexuality, sex is reserved for the courtship and procreation stage. With parenthood, sex becomes less important, and eventually becomes pretty irrelevant. Thanks to porn, we are being re-engineered to behave like homosexuals, never to marry or have children.

Instead of families, we have sex. Sex from cradle to grave with multiple partners. Sex. Everywhere you look. All the time. We suffer from arrested development with an adolescent fixation on our appearance and genitals. We remain stuck in courtship mode, never maturing and developing as intended.

Mature love is demanding and requires self control. You shouldn´t be trying to give women any advice. You and many like you, are a victim of the (homo) sexual revolution.

A man cannot be ruled by desire for sex and love. A man is God's agent, creating a New World, the family. This is his duty, purpose and fulfillment. A woman's fulfillment is to be his partner and means to this end.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32167452
Germany
01/14/2013 03:34 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Why all porn is Gay:


Think of heterosexuality as monogamous and dedicated to rearing children; homosexuality as promiscuous and concerned with sex for its own sake.

Heterosexuality involves bonding permanently with a member of the opposite sex for love and usually procreation. It is participating in the natural life cycle, in the intrinsic meaning of life. Personal and societal health depend on heterosexuality.

Homosexuality is a form of arrested development caused by an inability to form a heterosexual bond. As a result, homosexuals compensate using sex as a surrogate for love.


According to our definition of homosexuality, (i.e. promiscuity outside of love and/or procreation), all pornography is gay. The porn consumer is engaged in a promiscuous masturbatory fantasy. He is not focused on his marriage and progeny.


From what I have said, it should be clear that homosexuality is incompatible with heterosexuality, just as promiscuity is incompatible with monogamy.

In these terms, society has become more homosexual because, due to social engineering (i.e. the "sexual revolution," feminism) many heterosexuals now fail to permanently bond.

Normally, happily married heterosexuals can put sex in perspective and move on to more important things.

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