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Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2890226
Canada
01/14/2013 06:49 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
the greates misconception is that you try to chain your love to one human being. Love should not be bound to one person. true love is universal. nuff said
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32083936


Maybe, but sex and intimacy and exchange of bodily fluids IS meant to be bound to one person!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31904189


As long as everyone is untied afterwards and safety words respected, then its allll goood.
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2013 07:24 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Hookers, Problem solved, you got the money, they want the money, you can get them to do what you enjoy, hookers are on a long run maybe cheaper than a divorce huffy
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2013 07:27 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Thread: After 15 years of marriage I did my first cheating today.......

40 views and 32 one stars!!!
Ozicell

User ID: 29840537
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01/14/2013 07:33 AM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is not possible in a relationship based on Unconditional Love!

Where cheating exists or is even acknowledged as possible - the Love is not pure!

Last Edited by Ozicell on 01/14/2013 07:40 AM
That which is - has already been, And what is to be - has already been. Quote: King Solomon.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/14/2013 07:36 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
In my case, Im too damned ugly to get anyone to cheat with...

I dont get off when money is exchanged over sex...


What does a guy like me do??
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/14/2013 07:39 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Hookers, Problem solved, you got the money, they want the money, you can get them to do what you enjoy, hookers are on a long run maybe cheaper than a divorce huffy
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29283456


Maybe if REALLY drunk but normally I want a woman on the other end who is just as much a freak and just as into it as I am. Otherwise, it is not as fun as it could be. I sure dont want to feel like Im hurting the person just so she can make some money.

I dont think prostitution should be illegal, I just think a lot of guys feel shitty doing it and it doesnt get them off.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
01/14/2013 07:45 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Have you actually considered talking to her about it instead of posting on a message board?
geminilion

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01/14/2013 07:49 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


Poor choices and no backbone to correct them are the causes of a sexless marriage. Cheating is not "healthy for a relationship", you dope, it only benefits the cheater.

If you're in an unsatisfying relationship, why don't you be a fucking man and do something about it, instead of dicking around on the side like a scared child. Do yourself a favor and end the fucking thing, so you both can go find a fulfilling relationship on your own.

Only an immature, spineless cunt cheats on their partner instead of ending a relationship that no longer works.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26339639


OP, as rough as this guy is, I agree with him.

However, if you're not ready to give up yet, try to figure her out.
What are her overt erogenous zones? No, not between her legs.
I dated a woman once her got very turned on when I tightly held her by her hips.
Another woman I dated would practically drop her drawers when I lightly touched the small of her back.

Erogenous zones are more than lips, neck, etc...

Good luck OP.
 Quoting: wisc_natureboy


Very true!
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2013 07:52 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Men want sex....so they create a relationship to get it.

Women want relationships...so they have sex to get it.



You need to provide companionship if you wanna get laid. Most women instinctively sleep with their partner if they are getting what they need.

Likewise, she will pursue sex in order to get that relationship she wants. She thinks she already has it, or you are giving it to her with out proper reciprocation.


Think about this, it will help.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/14/2013 07:57 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Erogenous zone..
The kitchen, when he washes the dishes.
ohhhhhh yeah.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32141707
United States
01/14/2013 08:00 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
the problem is YOU.


you can't EXPECT your wife to do anything for you.

maybey you need to wine and dine her more...make he
WANY you

stop being such a whore.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32053451


WRONG!

Typical bitch excuse. She lied in the beginning by leading him on. There is no excuse for the change in her behavior nor for all the other women out there who pull the same stunt. You libido doesn't just change like that. And if your feelings for the man changed or you ALLOWED them to change then the man is perfectly justified in changing his feelings as well. No double standards.

More dates and dinners? Seriously? Try more blowjobs first, then you'll get your meal.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2880698

I agree. She sounds like one of those women (if you can call her that) that was in love with the idea of getting married, not being married. Typical "bait and switch" for the self-centered, self-serving bitch to get what she wanted.

Makes me sick how people always jump on the man when 9 times out of 10 it is the women that changes the rules after she gets what she wants.

The man is always left holding the bag and told to figure out what her problem is is when they know damn well that men don't have a clue why women act like they do. In fact I don't even think women know why they act so weird. But yet a man is supposed to figure out this insanity?

Let me clue people in on something. If there is a problem then the husband will be the last person on earth that will know. This women will do all in power to keep whatever is going on a complete secret from her husband.


'
.
AxE

User ID: 25612238
Canada
01/14/2013 08:11 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
She's probably cheating if she isn't interested in you.
 Quoting: Saratonin


THIS
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32178960
Germany
01/14/2013 08:24 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Take her by force. Asking a woman if she wants sex...how gay is that? Women aren't guys you have logical conversations with. "The pros and contras of having sex", lol. Especially not when its about something purely instinct-driven and emotionally like sex.

Seduce her, take her, bend her over when she least expects it. And don't stop unless she demonstrates honest and genuine disapproval. "No!" doesn't mean no.

Attend one of these Pick up arist/secudction seminars. And go to the gym to increase your testosteron production.

She doesn't want sex, because you are boring and a pussy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4428356
United States
01/14/2013 08:29 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I love how the answer from virtually every women in this thread is for the guy to put in more work, put her on a pedestal, do things for her, find out what she likes, do this, do that, do, do, do, do, do...

What if men made you girls work for every ounce of emotional support we gave you? What if we made you work for every single thing we gave up for your, threw in the towel on and or bust our behinds for you? How would that sit with you? You would be screaming chauvinism and sexism if we went down that road.

You cant have it both ways. You cant want the feminist ideals while asking your man to put you on a pedestal. One is about equality and the other is about subservience. If you want your man to treat you like a princess you better treat him like a Victoria Secret model. When one party gets their needs met and the other doesnt there is a VACUUM. You know what happens to a Vacuum...It gets filled. You will end up crying to your girlfriends about how awful he is/was and you will never think for one moment to look in the mirror...

Treat each other well. Treat others as you would like to be treated...If not be prepared to be treated as you have treated others..The golden rule is not about how you treat others but ultimately how others treat you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1607700
United States
01/14/2013 08:49 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Cheating is healthy for your relationship, just be safe and discreet about it. If you are wealthy, it shouldn't be a problem. Dont feel guilty about it ever, she drove you to this. Life is short, and humans were never wired to be monogamous.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4804472


What he said!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25676821
United States
01/14/2013 09:02 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
She's probably cheating if she isn't interested in you.
 Quoting: Saratonin


OR - you changed in some way.

Are you still attentive to her? Do you do things she likes? Women need "romance" and to feel like you are interested in HER.

It's not always about what you give her - like exotic trips, but emotional needs.

Best tip: TALK TO EACH OTHER
BG43214
User ID: 18147015
United States
01/14/2013 10:15 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Now I'm certainly no expert on marriage, etc., but I do know one thing:

ALL WOMEN SHOULD LEARN HOW TO GIVE HEAD.......period!!!

it's what just about every guy wants, along with the other stuff, of course.

So just think about it; during your dating years, no fear of unwanted pregnancies!!!

of course you'd use a condom, goes without saying.

and then you'll have a satisfied man..

JUST REMEMBER.
DON'T STOP GIVING HEAD AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED!!

But, alas, my suggestion will be ridiculed and go unheeded.........

and it could save so many ladies from wandering husbands and boyfriends,,,,,,not to mention the unwanted babies!!!

Would love to hear your thoughts on this..

and no jackasses need reply!!!!!!!
The Analog Guy
My shit is together

User ID: 576430
United States
01/14/2013 10:41 AM

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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
How many mammals are monogamous and who in the world invented and brainwashed monogamy into humans?

It's a futile arrangement! Hint....the Elites are never monogamous!
 Quoting: ****SUPERFLY****


How many mammals are monogamous and who in the world invented and brainwashed monogamy into humans?

It's a futile arrangement! Hint....the Elites are never monogamous!
 Quoting: ****SUPERFLY****


True. If you study the anthropology it's clear that humans are not intrinsically monogamous . We have to force it
I say burn all of your bridges while you still have control of the flame
' "Those who give up freedom in the name of security deserve neither".
Anonymous Coward
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Malaysia
01/14/2013 10:48 AM
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Re: Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
I never said I was perfect, but I am a great provider, listener, and friend to my wife. We grow together intellectually as friends, just not as lovers. I believe the core problem with her sex drive is related to her strict religious upbringing and her guilt for sexual intimacy. She says that she is still attracted to me, but that she just lacks the sex drive and she doesn't find sex appealing period. She perceives it as a duty and she has said outright in one of our discussions that she could live without it for the rest of her life and be quite happy not thinking about it with anyone. I guess you'd have to see if from within to see that she really doesn't have a sex drive with me, anyone else or even herself. What this 10 year marriage has taught me is that some women are takers and some are givers. My wife is a taker that gives very little back to anyone in her life including her friends. If I would have recognized this in her at the beginning I would have never have dated her let alone married her. When we were dating she felt like I was about to break up with her and she sent me an email stating that "to wish for a bracelet of blood was cathartic", and she cut her wrists (slightly) with a knife to make me feel sorry for her and stay. I wasn't even thinking about breaking up with her at that time, I was just busy studying for exams as it was my last year in business school. My friends told me that I should have ran and I should have listened. My thoughts on this now that I am a bit older and wiser is that this was an extremely selfish act on her part and it speaks volumes of who she is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357



Dearest TS, i honestly understand what you're trying to say in your OP, and i would like to say thank you, for sharing this story/warning with us. I think a lot of us take this for granted. And a lot of us, stop taking care of ourselves/our partners, once we settled down. We thought, our job is done. We got the person we wanted, and that's it. We can now relax. Little do most of us realize, that the REAL job, is just beginning. A happy and successful marriage, is a permanent and long-term job. It simply means, partners need to WORK to make it a happy and successful marriage. It needs efforts from both parties, ALL THE TIME. There is no such thing, as a SAFE PERIOD. Your duty and responsibility as a partner-in-marriage, starts as soon as you say, 'I DO'. Unfortunately, 99 percent partners-in-marriage, act as if the marriage is going to last happily ever after, just like in the fairy tales. Partners assume that, happy marriages work on auto schedule and that they don't need any effort to maintain their marriage. No wonder the divorce rate is getting higher and higher each year...

On the other hand, TS, what you're doing here, is not quite right in itself. It's good that you're sharing this story with us, BUT, please realize, you need to share this story with your wife as well, if she REALLY is your friend, and if you still have any RESPECT for her. What you're doing actually, is revealing your own weaknesses in your marriage, and your inability to handle/tackle this problem on your own. Had you been able to tackle this problem, you wouldn't be sharing it here, publicly. That is No. 1.

No. 2 - Imagine how your wife aka your friend would feel, if she found out that you blabbed about your marriage problems in an open Forum like this? Don't you think she would be deeply hurt? Instead of confiding in her, whom you regarded as your FRIEND, you confided in strangers. I know if my partner does that to me, I will have a very difficult time forgiving and trusting my partner again. Even if no one knows who my partner really is, that is not the point.

No. 3 - Imagine if she does the same thing to you, how would you feel? Would you be happy, knowing your wife has shared about your weaknesses on a public forum, with strangers, instead of you? Imagine if she says, 'my husband has premature ejaculation problem'. Wouldn't you feel embarrassed even if no one knows who you are?

No. 4 - Putting all that aside, if she is REALLY your friend, you would have been able to chat with her about anything under the skies. You would NEVER have done something like this. What's more, to someone you love, although no longer IN love. But since you have done this, you need to check on your 'friend/love status' again... if you REALLY love someone, the last thing you would want to do, is to hurt that person.

No. 5 - Thou shalt not badmouth one another. Your 1st post is enough already. But when you exposed her characters more, including the story of how she cut her wrist, you exposed her weaknesses further. You showed everyone, how BAD she was/is, not realizing that while you're typing down all that, you're only exposing YOUR TRUE PERSONALITY. And that is, YOU BADMOUTHED. You were the one who made the decision to marry her, and now, all of a sudden, it's ALL HER FAULT. Do you realize that from the very 1st post you made, NEVER ONCE, had you admitted that MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, you have some faults of your own, that MAY HAVE LED to her being COLD toward sex? You ONLY saw yourself as having done everything PERFECTLY, as if you have no flaws of your own? This shows that you are a very EGOISTIC person, not being able to even have a DOUBT, THAT MAYBE, you DID contribute something to this problem, WITHOUT YOU REALIZING IT? ALL your posts only mentioned of your wife's imperfections, but what about yours? If you're going to refute this VERY POINT by saying, 'but i've done everything i could - perfectly', well then, you really have a much bigger problem than her aloofness toward sex. IT'S YOUR OWN PERSONALITY THAT YOU SHOULD THINK OF THEN. If you can't and not willing to change yourself, don't expect others to change for you.

No. 6 - Cheating is never healthy for any relationship. You broke your vow the moment you do this. You broke her heart the moment you do this. You no longer LOVE her enough, to not cheat on her. Would you be happy, if she does the same to you? You may not believe that Karma exists, but somehow, someday, what you do now, will come back to haunt you, in moments when you least expect it. Don't believe it? No problem. Karma doesn't need anyone's faith for it to work. And when it does work, it works like a charm.

No. 7 - But since you have done this, there is no turning back. Just pray she never found out about this thread for as long as you are still married to her. TS, if there is even a slightest REMORSE in your heart, that you still have for her, a slightest RESPECT in your heart, that you still have for her, a slightest LOVE, that you still have for her, BE A REAL MAN, and tell her EXACTLY how you feel. If you can't do it face to face, write an e-mail, or a LONG LETTER. But just DO IT ALREADY. Don't claim that both of you are friends, if you can't even communicate with her about this very important thing in your life. It IS important right? Then how come something as important as this, be kept from your other half? If you don't get to the bottom of this, then how are you going to 'figure her out'? Do you REALLY feel happy and satisfied inside, by unloading all these on a public forum, putting all the blame on her, when you could and should have done it with your one and only wife? Why can't you just have a slow talk with her, even if that is the LAST RESORT? WHY?

No. 8 - Remember all the good things that she had done for you, remember all the smiles, all the laughs that you both shared all this while, all the POSITIVE things that you both had done and enjoyed doing together. Why are you focusing on ALL THE NEGATIVES, just because of SEX? You know, we all are going to die one day - how do you want to be remembered? You want to be remembered as someone who regards SEX more than anything else? Or do you want to be remembered as someone loving, and who's willing to be RATIONAL and WISE, when time gets tough?

No. 9 - Tell her TS. By not telling her how you really feel inside, you're not only hurting her, but you are also hurting yourself. You cannot repair a broken computer, if you don't know where the problem lies. TRACE THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM, NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS FOR BOTH OF YOU. BE OPEN WITH ONE ANOTHER, NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS TO HEAR THE TRUTH. And after you have found out the root of the problem, you both have to decide upon the SOLUTION. Be CONSIDERATE. Give and take. If then, and ONLY THEN, you're not willing to co-operate, or she's not willing to co-operate, then file a proper divorce. At least, there won't be any regrets for the both of you, because you know, you have done EVERYTHING POSSIBLE, to save up your marriage. If you don't do this, there is a possibility, that your next relationship will face the same problem. Again and again and again... UNTIL YOU FINALLY LEARNT YOUR LESSON.

No. 10 - Everything in life, HAPPENS FOR A REASON. You will keep encountering the same problem, UNTIL you finally learnt the lesson that was meant for you to learn. You will keep doing the same thing, the same mistake, until you learnt. So TS, whether you believe me or not, there is a lesson in all this, that was meant ONLY FOR YOU. There is something in this that life wants you to learn from, even if you may not see it now. If you succeed, you will move on to another lesson. But if you fail, this lesson will keep coming back to haunt you, no matter how far you try to hide or run away.

You decide, your own sadness and happiness... I hope you choose WISELY. All the best. God bless.

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