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Message Subject Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there
Poster Handle Anonymous Coward
Post Content
I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357

You know, this is the problem with this world. Do you have children? If so, do you realize that you are thinking about ruining your wife's and their lives just because you don't want to find a way to control your impulses or fix things with your wife? What a bunch of BS.

Where have the real men gone? And by the way - go see a therapist or a priest and get off the internet. Better yet - talk to your wife instead of a bunch of total strangers.
 Quoting: dglnomore

I didn't ask for advice, I was giving advice to women. I was letting them know what drives men to cheat and how easy it is to keep your man in love with you. Men express love through intimacy, touch, and sex. It is part if the glue that makes us love and move mountains for them. I don't have children and I am a real man. I own several businesses, carry no debts abc if I retired at 36, I wouldn't have to work another day in my life. I am religious and I have tried talking to my wife about thus on several occasions. She told me once about 5 years ago when we had the same discussion, "great, this us just another thing I have to do". She never had to work and I don't have to put in Huge amounts of time into my business as I have a lot of residual income sources and a management team. This allows us to travel all over the world, take classes together, hike, camp, snow shoe, volunteer at the non-profit component if my company etc. We spend a lot if time together and view each other as best friends. Thus is what makes it so hard, there are many great things about her, but the frustration of being intimate on average twice a month and having her see it as a chore is what is killing me. It is the deal breaker and I am warning women that they can have a great guy that they take for granted and if they want to keep their marriage happy and keep the husbands thoughts from straying then she needs to speak the language that men express love through and that is sexual contact. It is a spiritual bonding that separates a good and best friend from just being a best friend. I don't need advice in what to do here as my plan is to leave my wife and not cheat on her. This thread was simply for women to understand the perspective of men. As for controlling impulses, look where that gas taken the Catholic Church. I am not apologizing for wanting a marriage where a man a wife express their live for each other and bond more than once to twice a month. If you want to get biblical there is a reason why the bible stated that women shouldn't deny their husbands. It leads to stress, frustration, feelings of despise, and it leads to unhealthy temptations like thinking about cheating, Internet pornography, masterbation etc. I just want a wife who lives me as much as I love her.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28249357

bsflagIn normal heterosexuality, sex is reserved for the courtship and procreation stage. With parenthood, sex becomes less important, and eventually becomes pretty irrelevant. Thanks to porn, we are being re-engineered to behave like homosexuals, never to marry or have children.

Instead of families, we have sex. Sex from cradle to grave with multiple partners. Sex. Everywhere you look. All the time. We suffer from arrested development with an adolescent fixation on our appearance and genitals. We remain stuck in courtship mode, never maturing and developing as intended.

Mature love is demanding and requires self control. You shouldn´t be trying to give women any advice. You and many like you, are a victim of the (homo) sexual revolution.

A man cannot be ruled by desire for sex and love. A man is God's agent, creating a New World, the family. This is his duty, purpose and fulfillment. A woman's fulfillment is to be his partner and means to this end.
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