"I left the love of my life because I thought I could do better. Now I'm childless and alone."

I left the love of my life because I thought I could do better. Now I'm childless and alone at 42

 
Eight years after that wonderful engagement party in 1989, I walked away from dear, devoted, loyal Matthew, convinced that somewhere out there, a better, more exciting, more fulfilling life awaited me.
Only there wasn't.
Now I am 42 and have all the trappings of success - a high-flying career, financial security and a home in the heart of London's trendy Notting Hill. But I don't have the one thing I crave more than anything: a loving husband and family.
You see, I never did find another man who offered everything Matthew did, who understood me and loved me like he did. Someone who was my best friend as well as my lover.
Toay, seeing friends with their children around them tortures me, as I know I am unlikely ever to have a family of my own. I think about the times Matthew and I talked about having children, even discussing the names we would choose. I cannot believe I turned my back on so much happiness.
Instead, here I am back on the singles market, looking for the very thing I discarded with barely a backward glance all those years ago.
 
[SNIP: The article then goes on to describe how in love they were and how happy she was...until her career and salary started to advance...while his stayed the same]
 
"I still loved him, but I began to feel embarrassed by his blue-collar jobs, annoyed that, despite his intelligence, he didn't have a career....I began to wish he was more sophisticated and earned more. I felt envious of friends with better-off partners, who were able to support them as they started their families.
I stopped seeing Matthew as my equal. I stopped seeing all the qualities that had made me fall in love with him - his fierce intelligence, our shared sense of humour, his determination not to follow the crowd. Instead, I saw someone who was holding me back. 

[SNIP: Ther article then describes how she dumps him and then dates a "bad boy" musician for a time...but it doesn't work out. She has other relationships but none are ever as good. She and Matthiew stayed "just friends" amd continued to communicate. When Matthew found happiness with another woman...something that made her angry and jealous, even though she was the one who dumped him. Then time goes by, and one day she wakes up and realizes she's old and lonely and has no kidds, partner, or love in her life...]

 
Read it here. Long but interesting:
 
  [link to www.dailymail.co.uk]