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Not getting your exact meaning. I think intellectually, I am getting bored. No, I think that is the wrong word. Not sure if you were going here, but it is what's on my mind.

I am beginning to desire to be lost in some of my old experiences again. Not really in a way of re-experiencing them, but wanting to go further, and I have stopped having them so often. I had/have been relying on drinking and sex and occasional smoke, etc to ground me, but it has been over 2 years now. But, to try and juggle experiences like I had with present life would just be incredibly difficult to assimilate again as the grounding would not be as easily attainable.

I am in a rut.

Everything old has yet to pop in as new again to me. Except for the ripples created here on GLP and some other minor places.

I'm use to change, I guess. My entire life has constantly been in flux. Until recently. My insatiable appetite tells me always, there has got to be more. I know there is, but this daily life is sucking up all time and energy, and I am left with my vices instead of my furthering.