I remember when the wife first shared with me her suspicions that she was pregnant. She ran out to pick up an at-home test - Positive! We could hardly contain our excitement, and scheduled an appointment with her OB/GYN as quickly as possible. Our suspicions were again confirmed.
As the weeks went on and the ultrasounds became more and more intriguing. Each and every visit we witnessed this life growing until one day we witnessed the little flutter of light - one which resembled a small butterfly flickering on the screen - we were witnessing the beating heart of our child.
We were readying ourselves for this new life. We were readying the house, buying clothes and related items. We were so proud. We were so happy - sharing the coming arrival with most everyone we met.
Until one day - the light, that butterfly flicker on the screen, it was no longer there.
I cannot begin to tell you how devastating this was to both my wife and I. We were completed overwhelmed with a mutual feeling of defeat. We searched and searched ourselves - had we done something wrong? Had we exposed her (the wife) to something that inadvertently had affected this unborn child?
No, we hadn't. We had taken every possible precaution, every step imaginable to ensure the health of both mom and baby.
Ultimately, in a matter of months, she was pregnant again. We relived the same elation, the same overwhelming joy, and began the same precautions, steps of care, doctor visits and the accompanying ultrasounds, and the same preparations.
Sadly, we relived the same tragedy once more. The little butterfly flicker on the screen had gone dark and motionless.
This second event was no less bitter, no less trying and troubling, no less traumatic than the first. We had, again, lost our child before ever holding it.
We again searched ourselves for what we had maybe missed. Ultimately, the wife changed doctors. With this new doctor, we learned there was a chemical issue with the wife that needed to be adjusted.
Fast forward just over a year, and she finds out that, once more, she is pregnant. We again were overjoyed, but this joy was accompanied by a fear that we would again lose another child. We didn't share our news. We didn't tell friends or family. Dealing with the first two deaths were difficult enough, and elected to not plant the seeds with friends and family that, should the terrible events replay once again, would grow into the numerous questions and even accusations surrounding the loss of a child.
We watched the little butterfly flutter once again appear on the ultrasound screen. We watched this child grow. Once we reached the second trimester, we elected to share our great news once more.
We watched the growth and development of our child though the ultrasound technology. We began to see the physical evidence of the child moving and kicking. We were again overjoyed, yet there remained this dark cloud in the back of our minds of the possibilities that could still play out.
We prayed. A lot.
On the last of November 2011, we welcomed a healthy baby boy into this world. No disabilities, no complications, all of his fingers and toes, and a healthy birth weight. As overwhelmed with the myriad of emotions as we were, there were some that held more of our attention than others. First and foremost - we were both thankful and grateful that God had seen fit to bless us with this boy.
We cannot answer why the prior two events happened to us. I can tell you that they were the most difficult times that we as a couple have experienced. At this point, we can only guess; maybe there were things we needed to settle between us. Maybe we had to be forged a bit more together as husband and wife. Maybe it was that my wife's chemistry simply needed to be addressed. At the end of the day, it is not ours to question why, but to remember to give thanks for grace and mercy along with our many, many blessings.
I shared this story to get to here; the conscious decision to enter the doors of an abortion facility, to walk beyond the waiting area, enter the assigned room, and don the gown. To acknowledge that you wish to continue with this process. This is a conscious, yet deplorable decision entered into for no other reason than to end a life.
Maybe this person is looking to escape the responsibilities and headaches that accompany parenthood. Maybe they believed the lies that "it's just tissue". Maybe forging ahead in their new career is what's of greater importance, and a child would undoubtedly hamper that progress.
Regardless the motivation, they are consciously killing their child. The doctors and associated staff performing these procedures know full well they are taking that life.
Each of these will one day stand before God and answer, as Christ himself said "...suffer unto Me the little children, for such is the kingdom of God".