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It's lonely being awake when it's dream time
User ID: 8879861
01/22/2013 09:23 AM
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Personally, I am very distressed about the future.
In 2012 in my second year of University, I experienced many events which unfolded making it impossible to work efficiently.
Namely, in semester one I was drinking too much, socialising, spending money on clubbing with my friends and people from college. In week 2/16 my laptop broke, had to be sent in for repair... Meaning I could do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING on my computer, and the library computers are non existent. So it took over 7 weeks to get my laptop back (due to the pick up of it being delayed - guy couldn't find my residence, then the next time he came I was at class.)
By this time I had already succumbed to routine of spending money, drinking, working, ignoring university.
That's when I decided to change, when I saw how wrong the direction I was going had become. In semester two I knuckled down, quit my job to study more, got gym and pool membership; began maintaining my health a bit more...
Then, one fateful day, (weeks 5/16-14/16)I fell ill with what doctors thought was Tonsillitis, they prescribed me medication (I was in no healthy state to acquire the natural path, mainly because I woke up in cold sweats, varied body temp, couldn't eat, sleep, breathe, go to university). I had this for a week; after which ensued an "allergic reaction" followed by more medication, and the second bout of the false diagnosis of "tonsillitis". I began another round of medication to 'fix me this time' yet it stayed, reducing in symptoms. Disappeared relatively for a week but was then hit by it AGAIN! (this time was really convenient; in the week devoted to studying for exams over the next two weeks)
I hit the wall and began self diagnosing - noticing that what I had was in fact, mononucleosis - epstein barr virus.
My girlfriend is from Taiwan, and I had the idea of using Traditional Chinese Medicine because it was very evident the doctors don't know shit, and only function because of money.
This entire period of sickness was filled with lack of sleep, lack of food, exercise, with an excess of GLP and general information gathering as I was too tired to go to Uni as this shit hit me so hard.
Coming to the realisations made throughout 2012, and on going to experience, there is very little purpose for me to go back to Uni. Every time I go back, things go south really fast... Combined with the fact I've opened my eyes to the extent I'm not even concerned with university anymore, considering I'm not entertaining the thought of being apart of the corporate system the education certificate entitles me to..
All I know now is that I've become so awake for the purpose of watching everything unfold as it will most definitely, meaning that the extra year of university to finish my bachelor is pretty much a waste of my time and my mum's money, especially considering something bad is bound to happen which will negatively affect me anyway.
I'm only 19...
I'm not pessimistic, I'm an optimist, but the only thing to be optimistic for is the end of the world as we know it i.e. goodbye banksters, government, maritime law, the vatican, the queen and all of their relatives.
I can see it happening in my lifetime, and now, that is the only reason I'm hanging around aimlessly, optimistic.
TLDR; University's gay. Awake and not complicit and/or partaking in corrupt society. Waiting for TRUE love based system.
If anyone wants to post your own sad sop stories I'll read them too :) :hf: