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I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up

 
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 26795689
United States
01/23/2013 06:01 AM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
OP the 'old' and unsustainable thought forms & systems of our past are continuing to crumble and fade away. You are aware of this already and ahead of the curve. The physical world has been slow to reflect the changing nature of the collective consciousness of humanity. Without question it is a challenge to find a balance when your awareness finds itself in one realm but your physical body remains subjected to and lies in another. Many individuals are struggling with this so don't feel isolated or alone in having those feelings. Hang in there and just do your best to secure some degree of balance and calmness within and hold onto it - that's all you can ask of yourself right now. Try to master these emotions that bring you down, as you ultimately have control over 'how' and 'when' you decide to honor & experience them....

It is difficult to find reasons to be positive about enduring through these uncertain times in the context in which you find yourself, but you can take some comfort in knowing that you have explored this difficult path of self-realization in advance of many others. In that respect, when things speed up and the bulk of humanity is forced to quickly come to grips with the destruction of the illusion that our society has created, you have prepared yourself and will be in a position to serve as an vital source of strength and support (should you choose to extend it) to those in your life who were caught off-guard and will be deeply struggling with the changing conditions.

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society"

greenkarma

Last Edited by ANHEDONIC on 01/23/2013 11:44 AM

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
T-Cain
Top Hat

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01/23/2013 06:06 AM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
A lot of my friends have passed in sleep. They never knew a thing. Lucky bastards. :-)
Don'tBeAfraid

User ID: 32113282
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01/23/2013 06:11 AM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
For the OP

We have forgotten
That once we were wild spirits
All pervading fierceness
Warriors
We may not have fought often
But protected our families
We grew our food
We raised our animals
When things broke...
We repaired them
When children misbehaved,
We disciplined them
But rarely for we didn't have to
We loved our wives deeply
Because they were as tough as us
It was their beauty
We focused upon
For they inspired us


Then we believed their lies,
Worked in offices
Detached from the Land
Our souls so full of ennui
Doubt
Slow rage for no reason
Mindless entertainment
Some mindless whore on the screen
Instead of delight
We became corrupt
And shadow-men

Wake from your slumber
The soporific no longer satisfies
Reclaim your destiny
Seize it

Last Edited by Don'tBeAfraid on 01/23/2013 09:31 AM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26985611
Sweden
01/23/2013 06:13 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
As I said I can't imagine all the positive things US can offer. If you're really tired you can travel to Hawaii for example AND still stay in your country. I believe it's an amazing thing and I'm so jealous, hehe.

US is just too great and full of opportunities to get bored, at least you can move to a better climate inside your mighty country. OP, pull yourself together because millions of people from Bangladesh want to swap with you! lol
Don'tBeAfraid

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01/23/2013 06:14 AM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
As I said I can't imagine all the positive things US can offer. If you're really tired you can travel to Hawaii for example AND still stay in your country. I believe it's an amazing thing and I'm so jealous, hehe.

US is just too great and full of opportunities to get bored, at least you can move to a better climate inside your mighty country. OP, pull yourself together because millions of people from Bangladesh want to swap with you! lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26985611


But your country arguably has the most beautiful ladies...well next to Finland!

Last Edited by Don'tBeAfraid on 01/23/2013 06:15 AM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32808372
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01/23/2013 06:23 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Know what you mean OP.
I dont have the same routine as you but it gets old repeating the same thing daily.
I sat and pondered what exactly it is that is missing and I concluded that it is love and compassion among people.No one cares about any one else.Its a dog eat dog world.If you have family in many cases they dont care about you unless they need something from you and the almighty dollar rules most.

If you have a purpose it makes life worthwhile and if people dont care about one another all the purpose disappears.I realize many people run on greed but many use to run on love and compassion which is almost gone for the majority...and the ones of us that still have that cant or are afraid to show it for fear of being taken advantage of or hurt or worse.
Kael

User ID: 1451069
Romania
01/23/2013 10:59 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
The bible is in English too.

I can tell you have demons because you became so irritated at the man trying to help you. Marijuana opens doors to demons even if it feels good.

If you ever want peace you know where to find it. Call on Jesus from the heart.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22741000


facepalm12

When 'help' comes in the form of serious, close-minded judgement/accussation and without even the slightest attempt to ask questions to get to know the person being judged, then 'irritation' is warranted. The sad truth is if OP had said he drank wine occassionally or that he was taking antidepressants, none of you self-proclaimed 'Demonologists' would have chimed in and said shit about him having 'demons' - but that's just a testament to your social programming and lack of awareness. Can't say I'm surprised to see that you operate just like the government does - create the problem (demons), supply the solution (Jesus). You'd don't actually care about the person you're judging and trying to scare into accepting your dogma, as you just trying to seize an opportunity to tell a complete stranger that you know exactly what's right for him so you can bolster and reaffirm your own belief system in the process. A practice that is void of consideration & respect. I say that because if you actually cared about the person you were speaking to you wouldn't dare lob such an ignorant accusation at an individual for simply acting 'irritated' for being unfairly judged - and you'd actually would have made a sincere effort to ask questions and get to know the person you're allegedly trying to 'help'.

If you can't be sensible enough to figure out how to extend SUPPORT & wisdom to individuals without demonstrating a complete disregard for their existing personal/spiritual beliefs and without informing them that they will need to adhere to your own instead, then you will clearly demonstrate that you're not qualified to be helping in the first place. Choose wisely.
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


Wow your reply is so good that i saved it for others too see :)

OP don't worry as other have told you you're not alone in this we all need to figure out what to do...
Find something that makes you happy.
grouphug
"Thou we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven that which we are, we are.
One equal temper of heroic hearts made weak by time and fate but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find and not to yield"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26985611
Sweden
01/23/2013 11:42 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
As I said I can't imagine all the positive things US can offer. If you're really tired you can travel to Hawaii for example AND still stay in your country. I believe it's an amazing thing and I'm so jealous, hehe.

US is just too great and full of opportunities to get bored, at least you can move to a better climate inside your mighty country. OP, pull yourself together because millions of people from Bangladesh want to swap with you! lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26985611


But your country arguably has the most beautiful ladies...well next to Finland!
 Quoting: Don'tBeAfraid


Tragedy nr 1: I'm a immigrant! (from Eastern Europe, lol)

So I don't have the necessary contact ring of beautiful Swedish women. Love Sweden but unfortunately I wasn't born here.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/23/2013 11:59 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Two things OP STOP feeling sorry for yourself and STOP over analyzing everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There doesn't need to be a back story with everything, life is like the ocean if you try to fight it YOU WILL LOSE!

If you learn the motion and feel the movement of the water you're able to maneuver freely and gracefully with out stress.

It's YOUR mind learn to control the ebb and flow, YOU are the one in control and causing your problems not outside forces.
lupa14714

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United Kingdom
01/23/2013 12:02 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Know what you mean OP.
I dont have the same routine as you but it gets old repeating the same thing daily.
I sat and pondered what exactly it is that is missing and I concluded that it is love and compassion among people.No one cares about any one else.Its a dog eat dog world.If you have family in many cases they dont care about you unless they need something from you and the almighty dollar rules most.

If you have a purpose it makes life worthwhile and if people dont care about one another all the purpose disappears.I realize many people run on greed but many use to run on love and compassion which is almost gone for the majority...and the ones of us that still have that cant or are afraid to show it for fear of being taken advantage of or hurt or worse.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32808372


true,the few mates i have now are the broken ones i met in asylum.they are the kindest i've met,but most just got used whole life for being kind.my family just don't want a crazy person at thier homes or speak to,ever.yet call themselves christians.i found no love at all from them.
church of euthanasia.
[link to www.facebook.com]
have just left my paranormal photos on,as I,m leaving soon.some you have to see whole picture,as clipped.
Paradise Havona

User ID: 1405948
United States
01/23/2013 12:18 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
....
I took up cannabis and
....
 Quoting: eyeDR3



This is the source of your problem. The mind altering drugs invite in the demons. Canabis destroys your drive and in fact causes depression, schizophrenia and demon possession. Altered states = witchcraft, which is communion with demons.

That is why the Bible condemns this activity. Your solution is simple. Drop the dope, take up Christ and stop living for yourself. The joy of the Lord is not far behind.
 Quoting: SevenThunders


please don't listen to this guy lol

there is nothing wrong with cannabis... i know the feeling.. im 25 bro

but don't worry this isn't about age.. you said it best when you said you were put here for a reason... i feel its time too

when we get a little nudge from the source/universe/god then we will know when to act and what to do

just stay patient and vigilant friend
i get on this site... way too much
Ruby Moon

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01/23/2013 10:33 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Lots of inspiring observations here, just saying. Thank you- I hope this thread doesn't die off anytime soon...bump
Ruby Moon
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 11:00 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
It is koyaanisqatsi, a Hopi word meaning "a state of life that calls for another way of living; world out of balance." Why do I tell you this? Because you are not alone. A lot of people that I know have expressed the same feelings. What's the purpose of anything when you are already bought and sold?

You're 20 years young. Get out of the house, apartment...whatever you live in. Go somewhere, anywhere...museum, library or park. Then find a comfortable place to sit, relax yourself, and just look around...see what, and who, is there. Have dreams, visions, fantasies...whatever keeps the other place at bay, for awhile. Continue to accomplish this.

To balance what is happening to us, we need to find change within ourselves, to create any kind of content in the domain which we find ourselves. It is the spirit inside of us that needs, if not rekindling, at least an extra spark to get it fired back up.

You have many choices ahead of you. Do what YOU want to do. Take your time to decide, then DO IT. Light the spark and it lead you into light.

Don't carry a burden too heavy to be yours. Human Beings aren't designed for that. A purpose will be shown to us all, hopefully soon.

As the Hopi say, 'Open the hole in the top of your head'. Imagine it, ask for spiritual guidance and see what happens.

You take care,

the fish
 Quoting: thefish 19829731


that's a good post. I found some help in it as well
Don'tBeAfraid

User ID: 32113282
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01/23/2013 11:45 PM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up


Fixing a Hole by the Beatles
Don'tBeAfraid

User ID: 32113282
United States
01/23/2013 11:48 PM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
OP Risk being the spiral
Tool Lateralus


The Fibonacci Sequence is everywhere. It may be the fingerprint of Ultimate Reality. All is not random. There's a plan.

You are important. The Universe called you into being for a reason. Don't lose hope and be distracted by sorrow and by those who despise you. Find your passion and fulfill what you're supposed to accomplish.

Last Edited by Don'tBeAfraid on 01/24/2013 12:02 AM
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 11:55 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
....
I took up cannabis and
....
 Quoting: eyeDR3



This is the source of your problem. The mind altering drugs invite in the demons. Canabis destroys your drive and in fact causes depression, schizophrenia and demon possession. Altered states = witchcraft, which is communion with demons.

That is why the Bible condemns this activity. Your solution is simple. Drop the dope, take up Christ and stop living for yourself. The joy of the Lord is not far behind.
 Quoting: SevenThunders


You have NO IDEA what the "bible" says!

You know Hebrew?

Nevermind...

Anyway, the tree of life? Depicted in all ancient cultures, religions, peace offerings...

The plant that we were given BY GOD that daily is proven to treat so many issues and all made up issues about it are being proven false... That's cannabis.

This wasn't a thread about that though, stop digressing.

If all you got from this post was a point that you wanted to criticize, you are part of the problem.

Who are you to tell me what is right for me?

Isn't it YOUR philosophy to follow the word of god?
 Quoting: eyeDR3


The bible is in English too.

I can tell you have demons because you became so irritated at the man trying to help you. Marijuana opens doors to demons even if it feels good.

If you ever want peace you know where to find it. Call on Jesus from the heart.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22741000


Gen 1:29 ¶ And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 11:56 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
I don't mean to be cause for alarm.

I just have this deep emotional pain.

That which makes me ache. I have constant anxiety. I feel the weight of the world in my heart and soul. It's no longer depression as much as it is a longing for a better time.

You see ill get down to the details.

Every day I wake up to a blinding sun, always before the alarm. To the morning guidance of either work or maintenance of material goods, neither of which feel right to me. I step on the same floor. Shower in the same bathroom with the same cleaning supplies. Put on the same clothes. Eat the same bland food. Brush my teeth with the same poison, the same brush. Lock the same door. Start the same, miraculously still working car. Drive to the extent of 3 miles, to and from the same box. Sell the same material shit, and get the same treatment of shit. Make the same terrible pay, or less. Go home and eat. Feel the pain of another day... Repeat.

Now i know glp isn't the place to go for a pity party. That's not what I'm getting at.

Thing is I'm a 20 year old American and this life I'm sure is similar to many of you.

I had it all going for me. An honors diploma, scholarship to a good school, independence, and many more years.

Then I started to live. To actually live. I took up cannabis and it helped me to realize that we are living a play. That even though we may call others sheep and ourselves awake, we are all being suppressed.

I had a massive explosion of self discovery rarely even found in those twice my age. I started to see how docile everything and everyone was becoming.

I started to think about how much we could do but dont. How I'm working a job to hold up a shitty corporation, even though pay is falling with quality of living and they treat me like trash. How the school I was attending was a brainwashing ponzy scheme to get a "degree." A literal label for yourself to do, what else, join the workforce. How tv, facebook, texting not talking, hate, ignorance, greed, compliance... Its what everyone is used to, and we do NOTHING about it.

They say vote. Yeah, bullshit nice try. Why vote? I'm too stupid to know about politics, right? And its a number game in the guise of a popularity contest, which should be bad enough. After all the media seems to comfortably know the outcome of everything. Ill just let them make the decisions.

That's how people are beginning to think.

My sister said it best:

"Its money. Its the banks. Its a power scheme that worked. The bills are a measure of power. You start at the bottom. To get to the top you have to live a life of deceit. If EVERYONE woke up to this... If EVERYONE marched on the capitals of the world and burned these bills and got rid of the idea of power, we could live. That's when humanity truly becomes free again."

Couldn't agree more.

Now ill go to sleep and continue this madness. But I feel as if even god is telling me its time. I can feel it in every bit of my energy. I've been put here for a reason, even if its just for my soul to endure hell.

Night yall!
 Quoting: eyeDR3


This is my story too but I am in my thirties now, my husband is just beginning to feel the same.

Much Love to you hugs
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 11:59 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Don't despair, OP. You won't be dealing with this insanity much longer. The power grid will go down for good, whether from natural or man-made calamity.

You will then be truly FREE. Your life will be interesting beyond your wildest imaginations. No more corporations. No more gubmint oppression. No more chemtrails. No more wireless smog. No more mindless TV, movies or music.

Life reduced down to its bare essence of survival. Oh, you'll have a heck of a time dealing with all the people going mad, killing and raping each other. And you'll have to get used to never tasting another banana, and other foods you get to eat now only because of international shipping.

Hey, hope you make it. Hope all of us GLPers survive to see this amazing new world.
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
01/24/2013 12:01 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
OP the 'old' and unsustainable thought forms & systems of our past are continuing to crumble and fade away. You are aware of this already and ahead of the curve. The physical world has been slow to reflect the changing nature of the collective consciousness of humanity. Without question it is a challenge to find a balance when your awareness finds itself in one realm but your physical body remains subjected to and lies in another. Many individuals are struggling with this so don't feel isolated or alone in having those feelings. Hang in there and just do your best to secure some degree of balance and calmness within and hold onto it - that's all you can ask of yourself right now. Try to master these emotions that bring you down, as you ultimately have control over 'how' and 'when' you decide to honor & experience them....

It is difficult to find reasons to be positive about enduring through these uncertain times in the context in which you find yourself, but you can take some comfort in knowing that you have explored this difficult path of self-realization in advance of many others. In that respect, when things speed up and the bulk of humanity is forced to quickly come to grips with the destruction of the illusion that our society has created, you have prepared yourself and will be in a position to serve as an vital source of strength and support (should you choose to extend it) to those in your life who were caught off-guard and will be deeply struggling with the changing conditions.

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society"

:greenkarma:
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


Really wise words, I know this but thanks for the reminder, I needed it today! hf
Anonymous Coward
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01/24/2013 12:13 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
I would like to add you to my buddy list, and continue this line of thought either within this thread or via p.m.
as I have felt this way since I am a youth as well.


You seem very bright, probably genius I.Q., which is why you do not feel as if you "fit in." You don't. Most people are low I.Q. docile sheep. They don't want anything disrupting their lives- for most American men: football season, basketball, then baseball season. Watch 6 hours tv per day, fast food, maxim magazine, top 40 radio, oogling bimbos.

Women, not much different, just swap out sports for fashion and shopping.


This current American paradigm is ugly and awful, and it will end, and soon.


Be good, brother EyeDR3!
 Quoting: The Sonic Dreamer


It doesn't take a genius to figure this sht out, sad that people think this is genius thinking, this is basic truth. I'm a woman, and I happen to agree with him all the way, worse, I feel that agony deeply.
KungPowMeowMeow

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01/24/2013 12:28 AM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
I would prefer being able to stay in my dreams than in "real" life. I was very sick this week, and had a high fever. I slept for 10 hrs on Monday night and when I was awoken by the phone out of a deep phase of sleep I was very upset. Upset to suddenly realize that the place where my mind had been for the past 10 hours was not my "real" life. I was with people I loved, in placed I loved, doing things I loved. And it was very real. It took me about an hour to reboot my brain (could have been the fever too). This was one of the most vivid dream events I've had in a while.

Sometimes it makes me wonder if being awake or asleep aren't just different channels on the same television. You happen to like some and dislike others. Some days I wake up very unhappy that the dream isn't real. Not that my life is terrible, just inane for the most part. I rarely see unresolved sadness in my dream world too. It isn't a perfect place.
"Fortune, honour, beauty, youth
are but blossoms dying.
Wanton pleasures, doting love
are but shadows flying."

---Thomas Campion
Anonymous Coward
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01/24/2013 12:33 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
I have a son who thinks like that and it's been incredibly hard for me to bring him out of his state. We live each day at a time, always trying to look forward to plans and dreams.
I tell him, find your passion and follow it. If it's to hard, break it in small pieces. He thinks too much, cannabis is also involved. You can't take the world's problems on your back.
It helps being busy, having the company of a family or friends who have a positive attitude. Life is a matter of perspective, even though many complain about the economy and such, we live better than a hundred years ago.
One more thing, you are the only one who can take the steps to stop doing what you dislike. We can choose, not sitting in front of the TV and getting out to enjoy nature or help people.
Newheart

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01/24/2013 12:36 AM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
I know what you feel. Something in this world has to break.
Prepare your innermost chamber. Calculate the number of Love:)


F&T Isai
Gabriel-Soul

You do not support the root, but the root supports you.
LahLuna

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01/24/2013 01:54 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Wow, you put your thoughts down so succinctly, I can only applaud a post that is so good, I'm going to have to read it again tomorrow. I also want to show my daughter this, as she is 18, I am 41 and we both feel the same way, we see this world for what it is and cry for what it could and should be. But this is what we came here for and that belief alone is what helps me wake up and stay up another day. Cheers to you and thanks for the wonderful post.
Anonymous Coward
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01/24/2013 02:04 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
I believe a little self medicating is good. An 8 to 5 is hard on the body and soul. It really is inhumane that we have to work this hard to survive. I don't know how the farmers do it. Damn, that's a hard life, to raise everything on your own. I think I'd rather be a hunter, mostly. Good luck and it might be you need some beauty rest. love.....Mom
Anonymous Coward
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01/24/2013 03:26 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
it's a mad world,the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had....the song helps me feel,not the only one
 Quoting: lupa14714


How interesting Donnie Darko, I just watched that. Psst hey kid.....everyone has felt this way one time or another,it wasnt till I was facing my mortality that I found out I really wanted to stay.Now that may not be possible for long and eventually I will not wake again and that makes me truly sad.Sending you love and I hope you stick around awhile.
LahLuna

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01/24/2013 03:37 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
I believe a little self medicating is good. An 8 to 5 is hard on the body and soul. It really is inhumane that we have to work this hard to survive. I don't know how the farmers do it. Damn, that's a hard life, to raise everything on your own. I think I'd rather be a hunter, mostly. Good luck and it might be you need some beauty rest. love.....Mom
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27921992


A little? Lol, but seriously, that is what GOT me sick, that ridiculous struggle in the Matrix that netted me nothing but broke, and too sick to live (I have MS now). People tell me to make me feel better that it was God's way of showing me that I can no longer do what I used to run around for like a chicken with my head cut off (single mom of 2 girls, worked 55+ hrs/wk to save for my first house that I am now going to lose to foreclosure after losing my job because I got sick.

Though I get to keep the illness, sigh.

Seriously OP, hang in there, you are NOT alone.
Anonymous Coward
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01/24/2013 04:22 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Watch Honey Boo Boo and you'll realize how fortunate you are AND you'll might actually laugh at their antics.

If that doesn't work, move to Georgia where they really don't give a sh*t what others think of them or their lifestyles.

When TSHTF, it'll probably be the rednecks and hillbillies that will survive. Hell, they've been doing it for eons.

Oh, wait...I hear banjos...damn...
Ruby Moon

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01/24/2013 10:14 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
bump
Ruby Moon
Don'tBeAfraid

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01/24/2013 10:15 AM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Watch Honey Boo Boo and you'll realize how fortunate you are AND you'll might actually laugh at their antics.

If that doesn't work, move to Georgia where they really don't give a sh*t what others think of them or their lifestyles.

When TSHTF, it'll probably be the rednecks and hillbillies that will survive. Hell, they've been doing it for eons.

Oh, wait...I hear banjos...damn...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12432310


The old feller dancing is "cloggin'"

Last Edited by Don'tBeAfraid on 01/24/2013 10:19 AM

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