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I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27531391
United States
01/24/2013 10:16 AM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
It really is inhumane that we have to work this hard to survive. I don't know how the farmers do it. Damn, that's a hard life, to raise everything on your own.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27921992


Homesteaders work very hard in the spring (planting) and fall (harvest) and moderately hard in the summer (haying). But they have the winter off to rest. It's the natural cycle of life and nature and you feel so much better that way than having to rush out to a job in January when its 15 degrees out. During the winter you read, sew, have all the sex you were too tired to have during the other seasons, do indoor projects, plan your garden and projects for the coming year etc. and just generally TAKE IT EASY.

This "2 weeks/year vacation" is NOT natural.

And if you have a whole community of farmers/homesteaders, you help each other out. Like the Amish do with barn-building. And you grow/raise things that the others don't so you can trade among each other.
abeliever

User ID: 17868616
United States
01/24/2013 10:54 AM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
OP, you are so young and can do so much for yourself and for others!

You're literate (I'm an English major, and can see it in your writing...)

You're aware (I can hear that what you're doing is not what you want to continue to do), and

You believe in God (You said Now I'll go to sleep and continue this madness. But I feel as if even God is telling me it's time. I can feel it in every bit of my energy. I've been put here for a reason.)


Sounds to me you have the makings to be a good writer.


Also, about the dope, sounds like you're bored with it, and outgrew it too.

OK...To sum it up, it sounds like.... all this isn't working, repeat, repeat and repeat, still not working... Want something different, don't quite know what I want yet. Absolutely know what I don't want, and it's definitely not this anymore.


You're bright, OP. Figure it out, and you'll put all your energy in it. Then you won't be depressed and lethargic. You need to find your raison d'etre, as you said "I've been put here for a reason."

God bless!
hf
eyeDR3 (OP)
The Third Eye Doctor

User ID: 5754707
United States
01/24/2013 11:58 AM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
I greatly appreciate all replies, especially by those who understand where it is I am coming from.

There is a fable told in all religions and cultures. Its always said a little differently, but the underlying theme is this:

When we become blind to our purpose, and all the morality in men and women is gone, there are the few that awaken to see the end is in sight. Of course, not to those blinded by society.

The stories always say that those who prepare and attempt to also prepare others are considered crazy. They themselves feel crazy at times, but it becomes apparent that it is faith that brought them to that point.

We then overcome the peak of our awakening and want nothing more than to just LIVE.

We cannot consider ouselves crazy with these feelings. It is our intuition, our insight, that brings us to the conclusion after all.

You see, I don't have much. I come home and look at what I do have and to me it is nothing more than materiality standardized by, again, societal standards. I appreciate my life. I appreciate my liberty. But what is missing is the happiness.

I grew up on technology. It was not until recently that I gained new respect for it. It is very powerful and has helped us to keep a chaotic world breathing if only for another day.

But it has become more than a benefactor. It is now EVERYTHING to us. After all, its sole purpose is to make something easier. Eventually things become too easy and we forget what survival means. We get to an entitlement mindset. We NEED somebody or something to take care of us because that is already all that we see.

I don't have much. One thing I have is opportunity.

I want to just stop. To rethink what life means to me, and how I want to live.

I thought about making it to Colorado or somewhere west because it is at least a little bit more open then in the east. I have a talent in photography, art, and guidance.

My spirit animal is the wolf. I am a teacher.

Thing is I'm not narcissistic. I feel no more important than anyone else should. We all share the earth. What perception we have of importance lies within. The idea of power is what ruins this.

Eventually, the point is, my warnings and teachings will become fact. Technology cannot run forever. It is so sensitive and takes those who specialize in it to keep it going. When divinity decides we've gone too far, it WILL be destroyed, and that cannot be too far ahead.

Noah was told to make an ark by god and collect the animals that were to be placed in the new world. He tried warning the people of a coming flood, but they were too self obsessed and busied by materiality. They put everything into humanity, and lost sight of spirituality. Noah was told the day this flood would come, and on that day, no flood came. The people were quick to use this as leverage in tearing him down. They scoffed and carried an entitle mind. They thought nothing could hurt them. That they were gods.

But on the third day, the flood came. Noah was still saddened to see so many parish, but it wasn't his decision. He had been so stressed preparing for what he knew was inevitable, and worried too much about those who could not have cared less about him. But that was because he broke away from the wrongs of the many to become the right of the few.

Now I don't follow a specific religion. Mine is found through self discovery and faith that there is something beyond the test of life. We on earth are seeds to something much higher. Literally children of the stars in a conscious universe. We SHOULD give thanks to our sun, our moon, our water. The things we NEED to survive.

Otherwise we put our faith in others and that eventually leads down the same path. People become herded.

This is why sheep are a great analogy.

Anyway, I wrote a lot. It was what came to mind.

Love you all.
Those who extended a hand when I most needed:

Nickadeemus, Bluebird, ItSeesThroughEyes, Rev StarGazer, darkwolf007, Rickster58, ar-15 nut, Chrewman, beeches, ceawaves, Shackles, ANHEDONIC, Shoot straight Johnny, Useless Cookie Eater, Hq okc, AR 15-SPECIALIST, Psi Guy, InTheHood, Abi, Paved in Chaos, sacred energy, AnonymousGirl, Nine's, Dice84, Simple27, justanothergranny, WitchHazel, jdb, Bearwalk9, Geo777, natasha77, TheWayWeWere, curry nosher, homelessguy92, Still Meow..., nah, INK3, Deaf Cat, katharinels, Re_Deek_u_Lus, Dug In and ALL THE AC'S!!!

For every negativity, create two positives!

Karma accepted!

~For wolf and moon


Part of a pack one wolf chose to leave
A life like his dreams this wolf chose to weave

On his own in the dark the wolf could not see
Nobody was telling him what to believe

When he questioned what truly made him free
It was always the moonlight guiding thee

~eyeDR3


The sheep may one day find, there was always a wolf inside.

eyebanner
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31781644
United States
01/24/2013 12:18 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
same here. have come to the conclusion this universe is a travesty. it's not fit to live in. we're just lab rats and food for the ET trilobites, the hellraiser creatures.
CleverMoniker
User ID: 26707174
Canada
01/24/2013 12:32 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
....
I took up cannabis and
....
 Quoting: eyeDR3



This is the source of your problem. The mind altering drugs invite in the demons. Canabis destroys your drive and in fact causes depression, schizophrenia and demon possession. Altered states = witchcraft, which is communion with demons.

That is why the Bible condemns this activity. Your solution is simple. Drop the dope, take up Christ and stop living for yourself. The joy of the Lord is not far behind.
 Quoting: SevenThunders



Subtract the Jesus-bomb and it's actually sound advice.
By the time I decided to stop smoking once and for all, I had realized that when I smoke my brain essentially starts being mean to itself. Self-deprecating thoughts, worst-case scenarios, obsessing about previous conflicts and failures, it was making me see only the darker side of things.

There are a lot of people who can smoke day and night and have it have nothing but a positive effect on them, but there are also a lot of people who experience the negative affects. You may be one of them. Stop smoking for 6 months, and I bet you will feel better about yourself and the world.
eyeDR3 (OP)
The Third Eye Doctor

User ID: 5754707
United States
01/24/2013 01:06 PM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
....
I took up cannabis and
....
 Quoting: eyeDR3



This is the source of your problem. The mind altering drugs invite in the demons. Canabis destroys your drive and in fact causes depression, schizophrenia and demon possession. Altered states = witchcraft, which is communion with demons.

That is why the Bible condemns this activity. Your solution is simple. Drop the dope, take up Christ and stop living for yourself. The joy of the Lord is not far behind.
 Quoting: SevenThunders



Subtract the Jesus-bomb and it's actually sound advice.
By the time I decided to stop smoking once and for all, I had realized that when I smoke my brain essentially starts being mean to itself. Self-deprecating thoughts, worst-case scenarios, obsessing about previous conflicts and failures, it was making me see only the darker side of things.

There are a lot of people who can smoke day and night and have it have nothing but a positive effect on them, but there are also a lot of people who experience the negative affects. You may be one of them. Stop smoking for 6 months, and I bet you will feel better about yourself and the world.
 Quoting: CleverMoniker 26707174


Not being rude so please don't take it that way...

However, this is a blanket statement.

I will NOT feel better. I would just be more docile, which would be depressing. It would be pent up feelings that I already have a hard time expressing.

I tell you, to me it is the tree of life. We SHOULD be focusing on what needs changed!

Negativity and positivety in life aren't black and white.

You cannot say focusing on what you can better is negative.
Those who extended a hand when I most needed:

Nickadeemus, Bluebird, ItSeesThroughEyes, Rev StarGazer, darkwolf007, Rickster58, ar-15 nut, Chrewman, beeches, ceawaves, Shackles, ANHEDONIC, Shoot straight Johnny, Useless Cookie Eater, Hq okc, AR 15-SPECIALIST, Psi Guy, InTheHood, Abi, Paved in Chaos, sacred energy, AnonymousGirl, Nine's, Dice84, Simple27, justanothergranny, WitchHazel, jdb, Bearwalk9, Geo777, natasha77, TheWayWeWere, curry nosher, homelessguy92, Still Meow..., nah, INK3, Deaf Cat, katharinels, Re_Deek_u_Lus, Dug In and ALL THE AC'S!!!

For every negativity, create two positives!

Karma accepted!

~For wolf and moon


Part of a pack one wolf chose to leave
A life like his dreams this wolf chose to weave

On his own in the dark the wolf could not see
Nobody was telling him what to believe

When he questioned what truly made him free
It was always the moonlight guiding thee

~eyeDR3


The sheep may one day find, there was always a wolf inside.

eyebanner
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32941306
Germany
01/24/2013 01:27 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Cool story, bro
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12432310
United States
01/24/2013 02:02 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Watch Honey Boo Boo and you'll realize how fortunate you are AND you'll might actually laugh at their antics.

If that doesn't work, move to Georgia where they really don't give a sh*t what others think of them or their lifestyles.

When TSHTF, it'll probably be the rednecks and hillbillies that will survive. Hell, they've been doing it for eons.

Oh, wait...I hear banjos...damn...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12432310


The old feller dancing is "cloggin'"
 Quoting: Don'tBeAfraid


Thanks for posting the video. This is exactly what I was referring to! ohyeah
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14392840
United States
01/24/2013 02:17 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
OP, you are so young and can do so much for yourself and for others!

You're literate (I'm an English major, and can see it in your writing...)

You're aware (I can hear that what you're doing is not what you want to continue to do), and

You believe in God (You said Now I'll go to sleep and continue this madness. But I feel as if even God is telling me it's time. I can feel it in every bit of my energy. I've been put here for a reason.)


Sounds to me you have the makings to be a good writer.


Also, about the dope, sounds like you're bored with it, and outgrew it too.

OK...To sum it up, it sounds like.... all this isn't working, repeat, repeat and repeat, still not working... Want something different, don't quite know what I want yet. Absolutely know what I don't want, and it's definitely not this anymore.


You're bright, OP. Figure it out, and you'll put all your energy in it. Then you won't be depressed and lethargic. You need to find your raison d'etre, as you said "I've been put here for a reason."

God bless!
hf
 Quoting: abeliever


LOL, most of those bright souls are pushed off to the wayside. This world is too psychotic for them and too greedy and fast paced.

I was a bright young lad as well that saw the truth of the world at 5 years old when I began reading the news headlines.

My only comfort was spending time with animals and the outdoors.

Any bit of meek emotion and empathy for others coupled with intelligence will push you out of this worlds pace very fast. You have to be dumb and hardworking or intelligent and psycho pathic to make it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14392840
United States
01/24/2013 02:19 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
....
I took up cannabis and
....
 Quoting: eyeDR3



This is the source of your problem. The mind altering drugs invite in the demons. Canabis destroys your drive and in fact causes depression, schizophrenia and demon possession. Altered states = witchcraft, which is communion with demons.

That is why the Bible condemns this activity. Your solution is simple. Drop the dope, take up Christ and stop living for yourself. The joy of the Lord is not far behind.
 Quoting: SevenThunders



Subtract the Jesus-bomb and it's actually sound advice.
By the time I decided to stop smoking once and for all, I had realized that when I smoke my brain essentially starts being mean to itself. Self-deprecating thoughts, worst-case scenarios, obsessing about previous conflicts and failures, it was making me see only the darker side of things.

There are a lot of people who can smoke day and night and have it have nothing but a positive effect on them, but there are also a lot of people who experience the negative affects. You may be one of them. Stop smoking for 6 months, and I bet you will feel better about yourself and the world.
 Quoting: CleverMoniker 26707174


Not being rude so please don't take it that way...

However, this is a blanket statement.

I will NOT feel better. I would just be more docile, which would be depressing. It would be pent up feelings that I already have a hard time expressing.

I tell you, to me it is the tree of life. We SHOULD be focusing on what needs changed!

Negativity and positivety in life aren't black and white.

You cannot say focusing on what you can better is negative.
 Quoting: eyeDR3


OP, once you realize we are already fulfilling the Judgement card of the tarot majors , youll understand. We are in the realm of hell right now ! and many humans are playing the role of demons

Once you realize this, you can make peace and work off your karmic debt that placed you here..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14392840
United States
01/24/2013 02:23 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
The Quantum physics of God can create many realities, many different dimensions required for a souls evolution.

Our particular realm of hell were placed in now is actually quite a higher one..much was put in place for our comfort here during our sentencing, such as easy access to food, and comfortable housing.

It could be worse...
Balloons

User ID: 32925996
Denmark
01/24/2013 02:36 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
Op you need some friendly company and a GF like the rest of us

Ehm yes drop the cannabis, that weed only leads you further down the rabbit hole under the tree where the roots are, it is hard to crawl up the tree again, but when you do, make sure you remember what good you could use and take it with you.

Last Edited by Balloons on 01/24/2013 02:40 PM
Put a lion in a cage for years without food and watch what happens.
Its appetite will of cause grow and grow, and then you point your finger at its hunger?
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
01/24/2013 03:08 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
OP
welcome to planet earth
find something you enjoy doing that does not support the evil system, turn it into a means of earning enough to survive, always work for yourself not to make others rich
Be aware of the insanity around you but don't dwell on it
You are surrounded by miracles be aware and focus on them
good luck
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 5542489
United States
01/24/2013 03:36 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
OP it pleases my soul to see a young person with such eloquence, insight, faith, and powerful ability to put your feelings into words. I agree with the above poster that you'd make an excellent writer; you put into words feelings many of us can't always express.

I'm 55 and feel as you do but I also have a deep sense of loss for how the world was when I was young and a sorrow for people of your age who didn't get to experience that. Instead of people grouped together -- at a doctor's office or waiting in line anywhere from a bank to Disneyland -- starting up spontaneous conversations and laughter, they are each engrossed in the little electronic device in their hand, oblivious of others in the room. There is so little human contact now, no wonder everyone feels lonely and lost.

You are not alone. Look at all the country flags who've responded to your post! There's a group I found, the Free World Charter, who also gives me hope:



[link to www.youtube.com]

I just can't see the world continuing on the way it is. Things have to change. For the better. Soon.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 32899014
United Kingdom
01/24/2013 03:41 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
smoke weed it helps !
that is all i have to say on the matter
this is coming from someone who thought exactly the same way !
CleverMoniker
User ID: 26707174
Canada
01/24/2013 06:57 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
I will NOT feel better. I would just be more docile, which would be depressing.
 Quoting: eyeDR3


I know you think that, but if anything pot makes you more docile. I'm sure it feels like it 'wakes you up' to reality, but it really does just the opposite.

Pot, like alcohol, and just about any drug, makes you a rabbit in a cage, pushing a button to stimulate yourself. Over and over again, you push the button, get your jolt of happiness. Pushing that button changes the rabbit over time. Without him ever realizing it, his brain is slowly but surely adapting to it's new button-pressing oriented life.

Not all Skinner Boxes have walls and an actual button.
Anonymous Coward
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01/24/2013 07:04 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
You have NO IDEA what the "bible" says!

You know Hebrew?

Nevermind...

Anyway, the tree of life? Depicted in all ancient cultures, religions, peace offerings...

The plant that we were given BY GOD that daily is proven to treat so many issues and all made up issues about it are being proven false... That's cannabis.

This wasn't a thread about that though, stop digressing.

If all you got from this post was a point that you wanted to criticize, you are part of the problem.

Who are you to tell me what is right for me?

Isn't it YOUR philosophy to follow the word of god?
 Quoting: eyeDR3


fucccccccccccccck yeah rockon
Ruby Moon

User ID: 1030089
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01/24/2013 08:47 PM
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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
LOL, most of those bright souls are pushed off to the wayside. This world is too psychotic for them and too greedy and fast paced.

I was a bright young lad as well that saw the truth of the world at 5 years old when I began reading the news headlines.

My only comfort was spending time with animals and the outdoors.

Any bit of meek emotion and empathy for others coupled with intelligence will push you out of this worlds pace very fast. You have to be dumb and hardworking or intelligent and psychopathic...
 Quoting: ELNATHAN APOLLYON



It's sadly comforting to find another person has had this same experience, down to the 5 yr.-old hfnewspaper reading and time spent in nature to escape (however briefly) the horror that is "civilized society".
Ruby Moon
acegotflows

User ID: 28872932
United States
01/26/2013 02:23 AM

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Re: I go to bed at night and dont want to wake up
this sums it up for me


"a foundation built on lies is always bound to crumble and those who aren't humble shall tumble to the earth"

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