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Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates

 
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 10:15 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
wtf

Bath salts strike again!

5a
 Quoting: stormer


or Salvia
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 10:16 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
bath salts strike again!
 Quoting: Anonymous Cowherder


UUhh..did they mention what brand of bath salts..is it from Amazon?
goodmockingbird
In the Heart of the EF 5 Tornado Belt

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01/23/2013 10:22 AM

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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
That's crazy.
Why empty the vacuum cleaner?
 Quoting: Professor Xavier


Maybe he thought he was disemboweling the vacuum cleaner
In Memory of Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty: American Heroes, Abandoned and Betrayed.
texmich

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01/23/2013 10:26 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
That shit wouldnt fly down in texas, once the tv fell, hell na fuck that dead
Brubaker

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01/23/2013 10:29 AM

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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
I travel to MIami, Florida every couple of years and I love it. If I could get visas for my family and have a job, I would move there tomorrow.

It's very quiet at night at the beach, almost zero public drunkeness; I've never seen or heard of a crime in 30 days I've spent there in the last 10 years. I always see police on Collins Ave. and I feel safe there at all hours of the day and night.

But everytime I see a weird story about Zombies or some kind of craziness like the OP, it seems to come from Florida.

My wife is afraid to travel there because of things like this and the hurricane sandy.

None of this makes sense.
BOWMAN

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01/23/2013 10:41 AM

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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
We're a little more refined here in Mass.

A friend of mine once strolled up to a White Hen Pantry buck naked (except of a necktie) opened the door and remarked to the stunned clerk..."this isn't my house."


------

Last Edited by halman on 01/23/2013 10:42 AM
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 10:54 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
hey bath salts are dirty as hell...

but i can think of all kinds of drugs that make you strip down naked and run like the wind!!! let's see, too much psyloscibin, too much lsd, too much mda, mdma, dang the list goes on. fuck it BAN EVERYTHING Except FLOURIDATED WATER AND SUN LIGHT
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 10:59 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
Check off 5 items on his bucket list all at once !

Cause you gotta have goals...
Wisconsin

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01/23/2013 11:02 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
bath salts strike again!
 Quoting: Anonymous Cowherder

Amos 5:13
timelines and Celebrations of Yeshua - [link to www.grafted-promise.net]
closing eyes

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01/23/2013 11:02 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
This is what i wake up to. Unreal. Lol
If you woke up breathing, you have another chance!
Dr. AstroModerator
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01/23/2013 11:07 AM

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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
That's crazy.
Why empty the vacuum cleaner?
 Quoting: Professor Xavier


Maybe he thought he was disemboweling the vacuum cleaner
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Might be an important piece of information for the coming zombie apocalypse; perhaps they can be fooled into attacking nearby vacuum cleaners, creating a diversion and a chance to evade them.
astrobanner2
Spitting Into The Wind

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01/23/2013 11:16 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
That's crazy.
Why empty the vacuum cleaner?
 Quoting: Professor Xavier


Maybe he thought he was disemboweling the vacuum cleaner
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Might be an important piece of information for the coming zombie apocalypse; perhaps they can be fooled into attacking nearby vacuum cleaners, creating a diversion and a chance to evade them.
 Quoting: Dr. Astro


Great idea!
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 11:18 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
Only in Florida.

Also, bath salts.
 Quoting: Lime Flavoured Redux


THIS ^^
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 11:26 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
One of the most epic thread titles of all time!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32797374


clappa
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 11:55 AM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
atleast he got the order right...save the masturbation for the last....
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 12:08 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
Too much bad acid.

My wont he be embarrassed when he comes to.
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 12:11 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
I didn't know Brief was on Florida Vacation!
****SUPERFLY****

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01/23/2013 12:19 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
Fuckin naked Zombies are a real party buster!
Mordier L'eft

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01/23/2013 12:26 PM

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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
why did i know there was going to be a florida tag on this one when i clicked it?
--"In this era of great big brains anything that can happen will. So hunker down." -- Kurt Vonnegut, JR. -- Galapagos.
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 01:44 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
lost it at "tase him, bro"
my sides
508527

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01/23/2013 01:47 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
floridians love dem some bath salts
GL2010

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01/23/2013 01:50 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
"You don't even mention that he drank the wet/dry vacuum water and shit in the hallway. "
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 02:04 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
I would have had my German Shepherd tear him apart, or busted him up with a baseball bat.
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 02:32 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
There was no charge for just being naked and masturbating in someone else's house?
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 02:33 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
I didn't know Brief was on Florida Vacation!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32771247


Lol
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 02:33 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates

That's crazy.
Why empty the vacuum cleaner?
 Quoting: Professor Xavier


Maybe he thought he was disemboweling the vacuum cleaner
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Again, lol
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2013 02:34 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
That shit wouldnt fly down in texas, once the tv fell, hell na fuck that dead
 Quoting: texmich


Lol x3
Captain Spaulding
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01/23/2013 02:39 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
In the 90's, when I did my stretch as an EMT 1A we were warned to stay away from anyone naked in the streets or in public until the police got there. Because they're most likely on *angel dust* . For some unknown reason it makes people want to strip off their clothes. What a name for a psycho, sicko drug.
zenobiaphobia
While the deaf man sings along with the dumb

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02/03/2013 05:24 AM

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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
North Carolina has the unidentified naked man:


, NC (WBTV) -
[link to www.wect.com]


According to the report, the nude dude was sitting on a large flower pot. As police tried to talk to the man, he "fell off the pot onto his side on the ground."

Police say the man did not comply with their commands that he stay on the ground and that he continued to try and get up off the ground. Police did use a stun gun on the man so that they could control him.

The officers reported that the man didn't seem to understand their words to him, and that his answers consisted of unintelligible grunting.

Weather conditions just after midnight indicated a temperature of 36 degrees in Salisbury.

Police covered the man with a blanket. They discovered he had cuts on the bottom of his feet and a cut to the head. Police called Rowan EMS to treat the man, but then had to call EMS to come back to the scene to take the man to the hospital.

Being naked, the man wasn't carrying any identification, and as of Friday morning, his identity is still not known. Police say the residents of the home didn't recognize the man, and neither did anyone else in the immediate area.


Heck of a way to pop in from another dimension!

Last Edited by zenobiaphobia on 02/03/2013 05:25 AM
One way to time travel:
[link to www.gutenberg.org]
From a universe without The Walker Brothers Thread: What the Hell am I Talking About?
Anonymous Coward
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08/11/2014 07:14 PM
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Re: Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
Lmao

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