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Gorilla SALES SKYROCKET after latest Gorilla ATTACK !!!

 
amachiavellian
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User ID: 10958957
Canada
01/24/2013 10:38 AM
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Gorilla SALES SKYROCKET after latest Gorilla ATTACK !!!
[link to www.theonion.com]

SAN DIEGO—Following the events of last week, in which a crazed western lowland gorilla ruthlessly murdered 21 people in a local shopping plaza after escaping from the San Diego Zoo, sources across the country confirmed Thursday that national gorilla sales have since skyrocketed.

“After seeing yet another deranged gorilla just burst into a public place and start killing people, I decided I need to make sure something like that never happens to me,” said 34-year-old Atlanta resident Nick Keller, shortly after purchasing a 350-pound mountain gorilla from his local gorilla store. “It just gives me peace of mind knowing that if I’m ever in that situation, I won’t have to just watch helplessly as my torso is ripped in half and my face is chewed off. I’ll be able to use my gorilla to defend myself.”


Brilliant article !!! Worth the read for sure.

Last Edited by amachiavellian on 01/24/2013 10:39 AM
— read for knowledge, not answers.
amachiavellian (OP)

User ID: 10958957
Canada
01/24/2013 10:51 AM
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Re: Gorilla SALES SKYROCKET after latest Gorilla ATTACK !!!
Bump because even the 1 star bandit should loosen up and have a laugh sometimes.

2wall
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 26673944
United States
01/24/2013 10:56 AM
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Re: Gorilla SALES SKYROCKET after latest Gorilla ATTACK !!!
Brilliant? Reads like a college sophomore humor piece.

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