ode to my mother

O mother:

you created me
but you don't deserve me.

how is that?

you had children in the flower of your youth
now I'm old and still don't have any.

you were young and beautiful and had everything
now I'm old and ugly and still don't have anything.

you had a nice house in a nice neighborhood
but I live in a slum with stupid people.

you made lots of money and did whatever you wanted with it
but I am always broke and probably always will be.

so why don't you deserve me?

your soul is corroded and evil
but mine is not.

you told me that I should be good no matter what
but you weren't.

you told me that it's good to obey authority, such as you
but didn't tell me you thought the entire world was yours to manipulate.

you told me that I must follow others' rules, such as yours
but didn't tell me you thought rules were only to entrap other people.

you told me it was bad to steal from people
but stole from me and threw away other things of mine you didn't like.

you didn't care about your children
but wouldn't dare tell us.

you manupilated your husband and children to your advantage
but wouldn't dare tell us of your schemes.

you cheated on your husband for years and years, and still are
but wouldn't dare tell us about it.

you hated everyone and held the world in contempt,
but told us we should never do that.

you told me it was bad to cheat people
but my entire life has been you cheating me.

you lied to me
and I believed your lies.

that's what you created.

now I'm older and wiser
wiser than you ever were.

your own actions speak that you should be punished
but I don't punish.

so just go away.