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My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!

 
katballoo

User ID: 33337287
Canada
01/30/2013 10:20 PM

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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
I think I am on the other side of mine now, and I can honestly say that I always wanted sex when I was going through it. It helped that I have a man who is fairly sensitive to me. Education for her would be good as well, so she knows what she is going through and why. Hormones are messed up at that time, and if she knows why she is flying off the handle, it may make her realize that she is being out of control, and it will help her get herself back into control again. Be patient...it will pass...eventually!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/30/2013 10:32 PM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Wow! I can't believe all of the helpful comments.
ANHEDONIC

User ID: 26795689
United States
01/30/2013 10:34 PM

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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Move into the guest room.

charlie

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 32407784
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01/30/2013 11:22 PM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Thanks for your suggestions. Very helpful.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24660034
United States
01/30/2013 11:38 PM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
It's one thing to have difficulties dealing with the hormonal issues, etc.

It's another thing, though, to let your compromised condition be an excuse to act like a mother fucking idiot.

My mom was the latter.

She would hide in her room for days, only coming out at night to dump piss buckets and restock food to take back to her room. She would get angry and throw the dishes out of the cabinets and the like.

I was 17 at the time, and witnessed this. It forever colored my expectations and limitations I have placed on a woman.

Years ago I told my wife in no uncertain terms that when the time comes, I will make every effort to get her whatever help I can, with doctors or appropriate treatments. Refusal to do so is fine - so long as she doesn't follow my mom's path and act like a fucking idiot.

Hormones or not - she still has a brain, and knows where I stand.

At some point ALL of us have a measure of control, however small it may be.

I expect everyone to exercise whatever control they are able.

If you don't like that, too bad.
JesseDart

User ID: 1596989
United States
01/31/2013 12:08 AM

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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Full grown women acting like children who can't control their hormones is funny to me.

I will leave the country and come back when she's sane again, maybe.
Anonymous Coward
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01/31/2013 12:14 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
You guys are nuts. My wife has been batshit crazy since the first day I met her. Maybe you were not paying close attention before.
Sol Neman

User ID: 33337982
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01/31/2013 12:36 AM

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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
I have some suggestions. I've done a lot of research for natural remedies regarding fertility for my wife. We have found some things that seem to be working and others that we would like to try. The reason I mention this is that many of the remedies for fertility issues are also effective treatments for "the change" so I thought they may help you as well.

Maca Powder - 1 Tbsp mixed in fruit smoothie every morning (could be added to many other foods if smoothies don't work for you)
Maca root helps balance our hormones and due to an over abundance of environmental estrogens, most people's hormones are a bit out of whack. Maca stimulates and nourishes the hypothalamus and pituitary glands which are the "master glands" of the body. These glands actually regulate the other glands, so when in balance they can bring balance to the adrenal, thyroid, pancreas, ovarian and testicular glands."
[link to www.naturalnews.com]
[link to www.amazon.com]


Magnesium - 250 mg supplement per day
"Magnesium deficiency in humans can be mild or severe, and studies suggest it is more and more common. Reports published by the World Health Organization have estimated that three quarters of Americans do not meet the Recommended Daily Intake (RDI) of magnesium."
[link to www.ancient-minerals.com]

Vitamin D3 - 5000 IU supplement per day
"This once obscure vitamin has been thought to only fortify skeletal structure through the minerals calcium and phosphorous; however, new emerging research shows this vitamin carries many more tasks than just strengthening bones."
[link to www.naturalnews.com]

This last one we have yet to try but have read many great things about it.

Vitex agnus-castus, also called Vitex, Chaste Tree, Chasteberry, Abraham's Balm or Monk's Pepper, is a native of the Mediterranean region

"Chasteberry is often used by herbalists to regulate hormone imbalances in women and lower the testosterone levels in men. It is known for its effectiveness in the treatment of menstrual disorders, PMS, menopausal symptoms such as breast tenderness, hot flashes and mood swings, infertility and decreased milk production in lactating women. Due to its anti-androgen activity, Chasteberry has been used as a natural supplement to lower testosterone levels in transgenders (in male to female), and to suppress the onset of prostate cancer which is also associated with high testosterone levels. Its anti-androgen activity may also help clear up acne, reduce Hirsutism (excessive hair growth) in women."
[link to www.homeremediesweb.com]
[link to en.wikipedia.org]
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Anonymous Coward
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01/31/2013 12:48 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Welcome to my world OP.
It doesn't stop anytime soon either. All I hear is "I'm Hot" nonstop for almost 2 years now. Air conditioner going full tilt when it's perfectly fine out. It's best to just ignore her...maybe she'll go away. I spend alot of time in my shop, even if I have nothing to do. If she start growing a mustache or sideburns, I'm outa here.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 30079403


This ^^^
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1507912
United States
01/31/2013 01:03 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
many women are going through menopause at an early age

like 30 to 35!

think about the girls they are having their periods early like at 10!

think about the older ladies... they are gong through the change at an early age...

get your hormones checked.. get back in balance
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18573293


I was 10 yrs old when I started my monthlies, I started the change at 40yrs and it wasn't a picnic. I had two daughters going through puberty so with all that chemistry of hormone it made it bad. Every thing you hear people say about menopause, it hit me. My husband was understanding and held me when I would cry, I didn't even know why I was crying. It lasted over 10yrs I as so relieved when it stopped.

I hope more men start understanding and being comforting it is help, you just be glad it not happening to your body.

There is a male menopause, you can tell when they start wanting to have a young woman on their arm or doing stupid things like they did in their teens and 20s.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/31/2013 01:05 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
The same happened to me at 52, it was horrible.

I got on estrogen and it helped a lot. They also give prozac which helps, but many people are against that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33009989
United States
01/31/2013 01:06 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
First try this before hard drugs......Evening Primrose Oil
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 33275012
United States
01/31/2013 01:07 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
I'm going through the changes but I'm not bat shit crazy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20001734


My mom swore the same thing but she was.
Like to killed us all for about 3 or 4 years before she finally got through it.
Anonymous Coward
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01/31/2013 01:15 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
A bit late to be having a sex change at that age isnt it? Good on her if thats what she feels she needs to do. Better than spending the rest of her life as a man trapped inside a womans body. I would give her all the support she needs.
There are other married couples that have gone through this before. i think i saw it on Oprah once.
Good luck!
Country Bumpkin
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01/31/2013 01:16 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
I want to offer the OP some hope. I am a married female, 48 years old. When it first began to happen to me, I'll never forget it as long as I live. We were in Texas at a wedding and I was 44 years old at the time.

I have always had a difficult time during that time of the month, but this particular month, I felt as though I was going crazy with anger and frustration. It felt like Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde. Every month, it was as though another person jumped into my body.

I went to the GYN and he related stories to me how women would come to him and wonder if they were demon-possessed. He tried to give me an anti-depressant, which is what the entire medical community wants to do - DOPE them up and they'll SHUT UP. Well, I refused it - because I knew in the long run that a drug wouldn't solve the problem. My GYN was no help at all.

Next, he tried to tell me that I have fibromyalgia because, not only did I have mood swings, but for about 8 months when I got out of bed in the morning, my entire body hurt so bad that I almost couldn't walk. Finally, long story short.........after a lot of reading, research, trying different vitamins, etc. This is what worked for me:

1. The #1 thing that helped me is that I have a very loving and understanding husband. We talked about it - I told him how I felt - I bought books about it on Amazon. We openly communicated about it and helped each other through it. He has been through a heart attack as well, so we both must be patient with each other.

2. I found out that since I'm Caucasian, that I was very deficient in B-12. My family doctor told me that a large majority of Caucasians of European descent have a B-12 deficiency. We also found out that my husband was deficient in B-12. Now, he gives us both a B-12 shot every two weeks and we feel 100% better. It has helped my mood swings and my overall feeling of wellness. B-12 is very, very important.

3. I take a multi-vitamin every day, to include the Vitamin D3 supplement, which is highly recommended.

4. I do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, do not drink diet sodas, do not take anti-depressants and I drink a LOT of water. We stay away from most fried foods and try to eat a simple diet without a lot of preservatives.

5. Also, I learned to be very aware of my body. I learned to notice subtle changes. One website that has helped me tremendously is this:

[link to www.power-surge.com]

This has been a lifesaver and it allowed me to see that I was not going crazy. Women can have up to 34 symptoms, even during peri-menopause. I'm not through it yet, but the symptoms are so much better. The B-12 is a major factor. I can't stress this enough.

My doctor told me that if a woman is low on B-12 and if she has blood sugar problems (Type 2 Diabetes or Hypoglycemia), that it will "make her as mean as an alley cat". (a quote from my doctor) Why? Because your chemicals are basically screwed up, for lack of a better term. Your blood sugar is not level, and that really affects a lot of people. My mom is a Type 2 diabetic, and if her blood sugar gets too high, she could argue the horns off of a billy goat.

I highly recommend a lab test for your wife to test her B-12 and to check her blood sugars as well. There is help for this, but communication, reading, research and self-awareness are a HUGE part of it. Please tell her you love her - allow her to cry on your shoulder - she is not crazy - it's a miserable time - just be there for her.

One more thing: Find a hobby that you both enjoy together. For me and my husband, we LOVE nature photography. Now, we have our own photography website, and when I feel these hormone issues begin, I have something that really helps to distract me. I hope this helps.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
01/31/2013 01:25 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
52 in great shape, no RX crap, and batshit crazy too. I do not get it, I cry over beer commercials for no reason. I was always the strong stable one. Now I can not remember my phone # or how to spell my name half the time and had to change my glasses three times last year and still can not see my food.

To the judgmental bitchy snob who blamed it on being unhealty, fat and drugs, you sound more crazy than the ones you judged, you are just too crazy to see it. Menopause war LOL.

And for the sex cure / treatment, you would have to be brave, well armed and stupid to try it at this time. I told my old man to go find a younger model for the weekend. You just do not feel sexy after not sleeping for two weeks. The insomnia alone will drive you crazy.

My sympathy too all of us and our loved ones and the innocent bystanders in the crossfire LOL
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 24010341


I didn't appreciate that judgmental snobby bitch either.

I was very fit and in good health when the menopause happened to me at 52. It's a few years later, and I've gained around 20 pounds, my shape is changing and I feel like I'm turning into an old lady overnight.

Even with HRT it's still very difficult.
ninnie
User ID: 33139113
South Africa
01/31/2013 01:41 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Both of you have a mug of boiled water with two teaspoons of molasses in it the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night and do this forever, the potassium in it helps, cheap remedy, those who crave sugar will find the cravings come to an end. Use Pure Black Strap Molasses, we get ours at the pharmacy or at health shops. Help her with chores around the house and be extra loving and gentle. When you get tired of the molasses alternate daily with apple cider vinegar in boiling water, one day molasses and the next day vinegar, one or two teaspoons in a mug, winter time is nice when made hot and in summer time with boiled water and ice cubes. Anyone can afford this and saves you a trip and the cost to the doctor.
Scarbedazzles

User ID: 26103023
United States
01/31/2013 01:54 AM

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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Both of you have a mug of boiled water with two teaspoons of molasses in it the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night and do this forever, the potassium in it helps, cheap remedy, those who crave sugar will find the cravings come to an end. Use Pure Black Strap Molasses, we get ours at the pharmacy or at health shops. Help her with chores around the house and be extra loving and gentle. When you get tired of the molasses alternate daily with apple cider vinegar in boiling water, one day molasses and the next day vinegar, one or two teaspoons in a mug, winter time is nice when made hot and in summer time with boiled water and ice cubes. Anyone can afford this and saves you a trip and the cost to the doctor.
 Quoting: ninnie 33139113


garden variety apple cider vinegar or special/different?
Fool me once, shame on you.....fool me twice shame on me.
Anonymous Coward
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01/31/2013 01:56 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Fock her, fock her goood.
Anonymous Coward
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01/31/2013 01:57 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Both of you have a mug of boiled water with two teaspoons of molasses in it the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night and do this forever, the potassium in it helps, cheap remedy, those who crave sugar will find the cravings come to an end. Use Pure Black Strap Molasses, we get ours at the pharmacy or at health shops. Help her with chores around the house and be extra loving and gentle. When you get tired of the molasses alternate daily with apple cider vinegar in boiling water, one day molasses and the next day vinegar, one or two teaspoons in a mug, winter time is nice when made hot and in summer time with boiled water and ice cubes. Anyone can afford this and saves you a trip and the cost to the doctor.
 Quoting: ninnie 33139113


garden variety apple cider vinegar or special/different?
 Quoting: Scarbedazzles


forget the new age crap...just stay drunk until she is over it...worked for me.

banana2banana2
Anonymous Coward
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01/31/2013 02:21 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
.... Any advice from the GLPers who've been through this?
band
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32407784


Everybody duck! Mood swing!

They are not the same people we married.

About all you can do is try not to take it personally. And hang on, don't weaken and give up.

Hate big pharma, but Prempro seemed to help.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
01/31/2013 02:54 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Maca, seaweed, raw chocolate and goji berries balanced my hormones.
High doses of Vit D helped my mood swings along with B12 and magnesium.
Take a liquid mineral supplement as levels are low by the time we hit the
menopause.
Hubner silicea gel balances the pineal gland the whole endocrine system
goes out of whack. All gland production seems to slow down causing ageing.
Its hard work finding out what works for every individual but aim for total
balance and harmony in mind and body.

Best of luck I have been through it, it does get easier honest once you get
through the mood swings, low energy and hot flushes till your body finds
its own balance again - its only temporary.
Anonymous Coward
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01/31/2013 09:20 PM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
bump
Zuzu's Petals

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01/31/2013 09:28 PM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
This thread has scared me.

For future reference...What about for women who generally experience no PMS symptoms? I really don't get moody, I don't have pain...I've had cramps maybe twice in my life...I won't go into anymore details, but have any women in here had next to no PMS and still a bad menopause?


*crosses my fingers*
"I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic ******* hatreds, okay. And it makes the world a lot easier to sort out." George Carlin

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Lusciouslee

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01/31/2013 10:04 PM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Men go through Andropause. Testosterone decreases and they lose their edge also. After forty its downhill for the guys.
Xxx
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 28232375
United States
01/31/2013 10:13 PM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Thanks for your suggestions. Very helpful.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32407784


You can't imagine how awful it is for the woman. I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore, and I would fly off the handle swearing like a sailor sometimes. My memory was so short I would forget what my cat's name was, I couldn't think of the word for shoe, stuff like that.

I looked in to bio identical hormones and that seemed like it would be good, but I just didn't have the money for the tests and doctor visits, and repeat visits etc. (It can cost thousands). I just couldn't get myself together enough to figure out which way to go, so I did nothing for awhile.

Then I got a really good new job that required me to make presentations and attend high profile meetings; I couldn't just sit there in meetings like a dummy with my mind spinning and trying to remember what the guy had said way back at the beginning of his sentence. So I found a website where they just straight out sell you the stuff, and you try different doses until you settle on what works best, no doctors and no tests. Well IT CHANGED MY LIFE!!! So here is the link to their website and product :

[link to www.progest50.com]

I have used it for three years now. My emotions are settled, I feel mostly great, sometimes downright joyful, my skin is more youthful, my memory is much improved, I became more confident, my hair stopped falling out, I can focus when I need to, and I don't feel like a stranger in a strange land anymore. At 64 I am still working a 40 hour week, do my own cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, and help out my 86 year old dad with his shopping. People are literally astonished when they find out my age, everyone thinks I'm in my early fifties.

It's worth a try, it's easy and it worked immediately for me. I hope it helps your wife, because she is definitely suffering.
katballoo

User ID: 33337287
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01/31/2013 10:48 PM

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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
Thanks for your suggestions. Very helpful.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32407784


You can't imagine how awful it is for the woman. I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore, and I would fly off the handle swearing like a sailor sometimes. My memory was so short I would forget what my cat's name was, I couldn't think of the word for shoe, stuff like that.

I looked in to bio identical hormones and that seemed like it would be good, but I just didn't have the money for the tests and doctor visits, and repeat visits etc. (It can cost thousands). I just couldn't get myself together enough to figure out which way to go, so I did nothing for awhile.

Then I got a really good new job that required me to make presentations and attend high profile meetings; I couldn't just sit there in meetings like a dummy with my mind spinning and trying to remember what the guy had said way back at the beginning of his sentence. So I found a website where they just straight out sell you the stuff, and you try different doses until you settle on what works best, no doctors and no tests. Well IT CHANGED MY LIFE!!! So here is the link to their website and product :

[link to www.progest50.com]

I have used it for three years now. My emotions are settled, I feel mostly great, sometimes downright joyful, my skin is more youthful, my memory is much improved, I became more confident, my hair stopped falling out, I can focus when I need to, and I don't feel like a stranger in a strange land anymore. At 64 I am still working a 40 hour week, do my own cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, and help out my 86 year old dad with his shopping. People are literally astonished when they find out my age, everyone thinks I'm in my early fifties.

It's worth a try, it's easy and it worked immediately for me. I hope it helps your wife, because she is definitely suffering.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28232375


You don't know how much I have wished I could just get bioidentical hormones online!! I really appreciate you taking the time to write this! I think I love you! LOL!hugs
JadeDone

User ID: 2546215
United States
01/31/2013 10:54 PM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
I am starting into this journey and a few times I have been batshit crazy. At the time, I felt like I was fine! The guilt after a negative crazy spell is terrible. My husband and friends are amazing and supportive.

We are trying to appreciate the funny or entertaining moments of craziness, when I am more outgoing or funnier than usual. The mood swings go both ways! Keep your humor as much as you can.

If she is upset, give her some space. Is she aware that she is having a difficult menopause? That is really helpful, to know there is a reason.

I keep a calendar of symptoms I experience and watch for swings in mood so I can nip them in the bud. Most of the mood swings I can pick up on before they hit and I remove myself from situations that might "set me off". The physical symptoms are much worse than the mood swings have been- nausea (the worst symptom!), insomnia, hot flashes. Some are just a nuisance, pimples, dry skin everywhere :\

This will pass! Have your stressful discussions when she is fine, they can wait. Be patient and keep your humor, and thank you for being a husband who is aware that this is not normal for her, but completely normal for women of a certain age.
Anonymous Coward
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02/01/2013 12:23 AM
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thank you all
Anonymous Coward
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02/01/2013 12:32 AM
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Re: My Wife Is Going Through The Change. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY!
remove the ovaries when menopause begins and they are like lambs. A woman told me that!

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