I want to offer the OP some hope. I am a married female, 48 years old. When it first began to happen to me, I'll never forget it as long as I live. We were in Texas at a wedding and I was 44 years old at the time.
I have always had a difficult time during that time of the month, but this particular month, I felt as though I was going crazy with anger and frustration. It felt like Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde. Every month, it was as though another person jumped into my body.
I went to the GYN and he related stories to me how women would come to him and wonder if they were demon-possessed. He tried to give me an anti-depressant, which is what the entire medical community wants to do - DOPE them up and they'll SHUT UP. Well, I refused it - because I knew in the long run that a drug wouldn't solve the problem. My GYN was no help at all.
Next, he tried to tell me that I have fibromyalgia because, not only did I have mood swings, but for about 8 months when I got out of bed in the morning, my entire body hurt so bad that I almost couldn't walk. Finally, long story short.........after a lot of reading, research, trying different vitamins, etc. This is what worked for me:
1. The #1 thing that helped me is that I have a very loving and understanding husband. We talked about it - I told him how I felt - I bought books about it on Amazon. We openly communicated about it and helped each other through it. He has been through a heart attack as well, so we both must be patient with each other.
2. I found out that since I'm Caucasian, that I was very deficient in B-12. My family doctor told me that a large majority of Caucasians of European descent have a B-12 deficiency. We also found out that my husband was deficient in B-12. Now, he gives us both a B-12 shot every two weeks and we feel 100% better. It has helped my mood swings and my overall feeling of wellness. B-12 is very, very important.
3. I take a multi-vitamin every day, to include the Vitamin D3 supplement, which is highly recommended.
4. I do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, do not drink diet sodas, do not take anti-depressants and I drink a LOT of water. We stay away from most fried foods and try to eat a simple diet without a lot of preservatives.
5. Also, I learned to be very aware of my body. I learned to notice subtle changes. One website that has helped me tremendously is this:
[link to www.power-surge.com
This has been a lifesaver and it allowed me to see that I was not going crazy. Women can have up to 34 symptoms, even during peri-menopause. I'm not through it yet, but the symptoms are so much better. The B-12 is a major factor. I can't stress this enough.
My doctor told me that if a woman is low on B-12 and if she has blood sugar problems (Type 2 Diabetes or Hypoglycemia), that it will "make her as mean as an alley cat". (a quote from my doctor) Why? Because your chemicals are basically screwed up, for lack of a better term. Your blood sugar is not level, and that really affects a lot of people. My mom is a Type 2 diabetic, and if her blood sugar gets too high, she could argue the horns off of a billy goat.
I highly recommend a lab test for your wife to test her B-12 and to check her blood sugars as well. There is help for this, but communication, reading, research and self-awareness are a HUGE part of it. Please tell her you love her - allow her to cry on your shoulder - she is not crazy - it's a miserable time - just be there for her.
One more thing: Find a hobby that you both enjoy together. For me and my husband, we LOVE nature photography. Now, we have our own photography website, and when I feel these hormone issues begin, I have something that really helps to distract me. I hope this helps.