You have a right to know the truth.

I read years of books&stuff and went through a lot of conclusions/confusions.

Even after Daniel Kahnemans "Thinking slow and fast",
a full blown spontanous spiritual experience with "All is one"... and working it all out with my genius mind...
I know its tempting to think deeeep.

This tape correlate with a lot of spiritual teachings from all around the world.

I know everybody is different.
You are not your thoughts or your body.
Stop building new connections by thoughts.
If you would knew what you are doing to yourself.

If you are looking for the truth.
You will never find it by "thinking".
This is just blocking your true inner core.

If you experienced a good guiding by your heart.
You are more back on track. It might take weeks to stay there like in the old days. Don´t stop. Don´t give up.
Allow yourself to feel your inner Toltec warrior/teacher/heart.

Its more the intuitive feeling part of you, which is more important. You dont need enlightenment. You are allready, but somewhere on the way the surrounding culture blocked you. It´s nothing new here.

Go fishing with some friends....

Give your life back in your hands. Thoughts cause fear.
I wish you the best.