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Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).

 
goodmockingbird
In the Heart of the EF 5 Tornado Belt

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02/07/2013 03:49 AM

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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
I'll be 25yrs old tomorrow. I am just now having repressed memories being brought to light of sexual abuse done to me by my family. I don't know who to trust, if anyone. My rap sheet is so long and it would be easy to denounce my claims and allegations as just some young adult looking to get over on somebody - and a good enough lawyer could probably get them off. I'm scared. I'm shaking. I'm losing my grip on reality. Everything I was told is being brought to the light and exposed as a lie. I don't know who I am. I don't know why this has happened to me. And the people I thought were my family, people I thought I loved and trusted..well..I don't know who they are or what they want but I'm afraid I might be in danger. Please help.
 Quoting: En Sof


You need to talk things over with someone unbiased, outside of your family.

Is there anyone you feel you can trust, such as a clergyman, or even an old high school counsellor?

You need to reach out to someone to get you headed towards a responsible, licensed counsellor who is experienced in PTSD talk therapy.
In Memory of Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty: American Heroes, Abandoned and Betrayed.
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 03:50 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
Repressed memories are fake. If you really remember, you remember. But repressed memories are bogus.
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 03:59 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
Repressed memories are fake. If you really remember, you remember. But repressed memories are bogus.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22965921


Think not.

Repressed memories are part of our survival intstinct.
hiding
mj-13
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02/07/2013 04:01 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
My hopes and prayers are with you as well. As mentioned in a previous response, I totally agree with above poster that mentioned getting assistance from a professional in relation to an abuse hotline. They can help you find other resources to assist you. My blessings are with you. Hang in there.
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 04:06 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
Don't know where you're going
Used to be a star
And everywhere you turn
They're raining on your fire
You're searching for an answer
Your hands and tongue are tied
And everything that you thought you knew
Is buried deep alive

You could take tomorrow
If you wanna
You should take tomorrow
But you gotta wanna

You think you've got it all
The writing is on the wall
You're praying to your Lord
Searching for your soul
Cause you just need to know
The emptiness will go
In a moment

I'm looking in the mirror
I'm talking to myself
Stare at my reflection
And I look like someone else
Ask myself a question
And I face another day
So I look myself right in the eyes
And I tell myself again

You could take tomorrow
If you wanna
You should take tomorrow (all your life live in the moment )
But you gotta wanna (all your life live in the moment )

You think you've got it all
The writing is on the wall
You're praying to your Lord
Searching for your soul
Cause you just need to know
The emptiness will go
In a moment

You think you're going to fall
Afraid you'll lose it all
You're praying to your God
Thanking for your love
And you just need to know
The hope is going to flow
In a moment

You think you've got it all
The writing is on the wall
You're praying to your Lord
Searching for your soul
Cause you just need to know
The emptiness will go
In a moment

You think you know it all
(Time is on your side)
Praying to your Lord
(Time will heal your mind)
Your think you're going to fall
(Then you'll learn to fly)

Time is on your side
Time will heal your mind
Then you'll learn to fly

~Stereophonics
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 04:11 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 04:26 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
watch the video this time, don't just look at it... think about it.
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 04:44 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
It's a great song for anyone else going through turmoil in their life.
En Sof (OP)

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02/07/2013 04:57 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27243460


WOW! Great SONG! Thanks for sharing. Who are you, AC? GREAT TASTE! The video really hit me close to home.
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 04:58 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
Just a fly on the wall :)
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 04:59 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
I'm glad you watched it.
En Sof (OP)

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02/07/2013 05:04 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
I'm glad you watched it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27243460


Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 05:10 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
I'm glad you watched it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27243460



 Quoting: En Sof


very nice :)
En Sof (OP)

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02/07/2013 05:15 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
I'm glad you watched it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27243460



 Quoting: En Sof


very nice :)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27243460


bump

Last Edited by :.: on 02/07/2013 05:52 AM
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 05:57 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
I am sorry to hear that. If your whole family was involved in the abuse it will probably be what is call "ritual child abuse" , you can google it but be careful because the things you read can triger you to remember. This kind of abuse is sistematic and very complicated and it starts very early in life, often as soon as you are born and in many cases involves the whole family.I have seen it done in families from generation to generation (I know it is unbelievable ...)
in some cases the abuses are even justified to the child by telling them that the abuse will make them stronger, the will be the best, etc etc and in other cases the abuse is just done for the shake of it.
Let me tell you that most people won´t believe you as it entails such horrific abuses, tortures etc
I don´t know where you are from but there are some good psichologists and therapists specialised in ritual child abuse specially in USA and UK, I think is better for you to try to find one of them as they will know how to help you better.
There is also a lot of information online and very good books writen on the subject by survivors and therapists.
Let me know if I can be of any help.
I wish you all the best.hf
En Sof (OP)

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02/07/2013 05:59 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
I am sorry to hear that. If your whole family was involved in the abuse it will probably be what is call "ritual child abuse" , you can google it but be careful because the things you read can triger you to remember. This kind of abuse is sistematic and very complicated and it starts very early in life, often as soon as you are born and in many cases involves the whole family.I have seen it done in families from generation to generation (I know it is unbelievable ...)
in some cases the abuses are even justified to the child by telling them that the abuse will make them stronger, the will be the best, etc etc and in other cases the abuse is just done for the shake of it.
Let me tell you that most people won´t believe you as it entails such horrific abuses, tortures etc
I don´t know where you are from but there are some good psichologists and therapists specialised in ritual child abuse specially in USA and UK, I think is better for you to try to find one of them as they will know how to help you better.
There is also a lot of information online and very good books writen on the subject by survivors and therapists.
Let me know if I can be of any help.
I wish you all the best.hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31643011


Thank you !!!


hf
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 06:03 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
Best of wishes, OP, will be keeping you in my good thoughts and prayers. There is some good advice on this thread for how to deal with stress related to trauma. hf
En Sof (OP)

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02/07/2013 08:01 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
[link to www.dailymail.co.uk]

o.o
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 09:29 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
DID is a very real condition that derives from early childhood trauma.

Before you begin searching through the trauma vault, make sure you are surrounded by people you trust including at least one good psychiatrist AND psychologist. You'll need the psychologist for talk therapy and the psychiatrist for meds (if you need any). Make no mistake, this is not something to be approached lightly. Integrating trauma is the most painful and horrific thing a person can go through. I cannot describe how painful it is, and many people don't make it through the integration process and end up committing suicide because it's just too much to process.

If you truly feel you have good supports, then start with a talk therapist. It took me one year before my memories started coming up and once they did, it's been a long and painful process. But with the pain comes healing, and when you don't remember a big part of your life, you tend not to live a quality life as a result.

And fyi, usually survivors of sexual abuse use many coping skills...'putting it somewhere else' so you don't have to process it is one of them, and another is anti social behavior that includes brushes with the law. It's all part of being emotionally disturbed.

Find a psychologist. It's time to forgive yourself.
Th3aLi3n

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02/07/2013 09:35 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
OP, I have been through the same thing. I am significantly older than you are and it took me years to deal with this issue. I can tell you that the more you keep it in and too yourself, the worse it will be.

I lived a lie most of my early life and was abused. I spent a good portion of my life talking with professionals and working through my issues. Realizing I was a victim!

I felt every emotion possible working through it but I can honestly say that today I see it for what it is, accept it, and forgive...

Trust me it's not easy!!!! I wanted to kill people over this shit. For me it took a lot of empathy and forgiveness!!!

Good luck and you are in my prayers... OH and BTW. I got through it all without MEDS!
Wake the fuck up... !!!!!
BRIEF
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02/07/2013 09:38 AM

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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
DID not!
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
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02/07/2013 09:49 AM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
Your mind will try to protect you by blocking trauma until you are stable or far away enough from the trauma to process it. I have not found there to be many people who understand how damaging traumatic events are to deal with later after realizing the truth. I urge you to find someone well trained and reccomended and not take this lightly. Cut out anyone who is connected to the abuse. I hope for healing for you and for all who have been mistreated. There is a source of unconditional love that has been hidden from us. Connect with unconditional love and face your hurt and heal. Best wishes.
En Sof (OP)

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02/07/2013 01:08 PM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
DID is a very real condition that derives from early childhood trauma.

Before you begin searching through the trauma vault, make sure you are surrounded by people you trust including at least one good psychiatrist AND psychologist. You'll need the psychologist for talk therapy and the psychiatrist for meds (if you need any). Make no mistake, this is not something to be approached lightly. Integrating trauma is the most painful and horrific thing a person can go through. I cannot describe how painful it is, and many people don't make it through the integration process and end up committing suicide because it's just too much to process.

If you truly feel you have good supports, then start with a talk therapist. It took me one year before my memories started coming up and once they did, it's been a long and painful process. But with the pain comes healing, and when you don't remember a big part of your life, you tend not to live a quality life as a result.

And fyi, usually survivors of sexual abuse use many coping skills...'putting it somewhere else' so you don't have to process it is one of them, and another is anti social behavior that includes brushes with the law. It's all part of being emotionally disturbed.

Find a psychologist. It's time to forgive yourself.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26156016



What would you reccommend for someone who does not have Health Insurance and cannot afford a Psychologist or Therapist? :(
En Sof (OP)

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02/07/2013 01:10 PM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
Your mind will try to protect you by blocking trauma until you are stable or far away enough from the trauma to process it. I have not found there to be many people who understand how damaging traumatic events are to deal with later after realizing the truth. I urge you to find someone well trained and reccomended and not take this lightly. Cut out anyone who is connected to the abuse. I hope for healing for you and for all who have been mistreated. There is a source of unconditional love that has been hidden from us. Connect with unconditional love and face your hurt and heal. Best wishes.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6069405


I think this will be my most difficult hurdle to overcome. I might just have to disappear. However, I really cannot escape right now due to lack of means to do so. Please pray! Thank you for your wishes, Anonymous friend.
141

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02/07/2013 03:42 PM

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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
If you need to talk: laffoe@gmail.com (and please do)

When I was 25 i too remembered some nasty stuff from my path that just dawned...

You'll get through my friend and grow
That's a promise

Much love to you
rose
Truth and Love...
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 04:07 PM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
coping mechanism builds ill-logic latticed barrior to the source place of this negative energy/truama. the sugestions here are sound, do not attempted locating this void on your own, and have help in deconstructing the lattice, to avoid strange loops or making things worse. after the shock of void recovery, TAKE CONTROL OF FILLING IT AGAIN, that is the recovery, treatment, and medicine. you have the authority over yourself, no one else, ever :)

trust in nature, trust in light, you are bothhf
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 05:20 PM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
bump
Anonymous Coward
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02/07/2013 06:08 PM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
DID is a very real condition that derives from early childhood trauma.

Before you begin searching through the trauma vault, make sure you are surrounded by people you trust including at least one good psychiatrist AND psychologist. You'll need the psychologist for talk therapy and the psychiatrist for meds (if you need any). Make no mistake, this is not something to be approached lightly. Integrating trauma is the most painful and horrific thing a person can go through. I cannot describe how painful it is, and many people don't make it through the integration process and end up committing suicide because it's just too much to process.

If you truly feel you have good supports, then start with a talk therapist. It took me one year before my memories started coming up and once they did, it's been a long and painful process. But with the pain comes healing, and when you don't remember a big part of your life, you tend not to live a quality life as a result.

And fyi, usually survivors of sexual abuse use many coping skills...'putting it somewhere else' so you don't have to process it is one of them, and another is anti social behavior that includes brushes with the law. It's all part of being emotionally disturbed.

Find a psychologist. It's time to forgive yourself.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26156016



What would you reccommend for someone who does not have Health Insurance and cannot afford a Psychologist or Therapist? :(
 Quoting: En Sof


I don't know where you live, in what country, but you should be able to find a program that could subsidize your therapy. Or at the very least, offer you sliding scale. Therapists, out of pocket, can be expensive. But many of them do sliding scale, and let you pay what you can afford.

Where I live there is a therapy program run by Catholic Families that offer $5.00 sessions with registered psychotherapists. They aren't religious in their treatment approach, they are subsidized by the Catholic Church to offer these services to people of low income.

Check with your county, and city social services, and ask your GP. I'm pretty sure you'll be able to find something.

Don't try to do this on your own. Not only will it not work, but it may do more damage than good since you really need a professional to help you through this.
En Sof (OP)

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02/07/2013 09:57 PM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
DID is a very real condition that derives from early childhood trauma.

Before you begin searching through the trauma vault, make sure you are surrounded by people you trust including at least one good psychiatrist AND psychologist. You'll need the psychologist for talk therapy and the psychiatrist for meds (if you need any). Make no mistake, this is not something to be approached lightly. Integrating trauma is the most painful and horrific thing a person can go through. I cannot describe how painful it is, and many people don't make it through the integration process and end up committing suicide because it's just too much to process.

If you truly feel you have good supports, then start with a talk therapist. It took me one year before my memories started coming up and once they did, it's been a long and painful process. But with the pain comes healing, and when you don't remember a big part of your life, you tend not to live a quality life as a result.

And fyi, usually survivors of sexual abuse use many coping skills...'putting it somewhere else' so you don't have to process it is one of them, and another is anti social behavior that includes brushes with the law. It's all part of being emotionally disturbed.

Find a psychologist. It's time to forgive yourself.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26156016



What would you reccommend for someone who does not have Health Insurance and cannot afford a Psychologist or Therapist? :(
 Quoting: En Sof


I don't know where you live, in what country, but you should be able to find a program that could subsidize your therapy. Or at the very least, offer you sliding scale. Therapists, out of pocket, can be expensive. But many of them do sliding scale, and let you pay what you can afford.

Where I live there is a therapy program run by Catholic Families that offer $5.00 sessions with registered psychotherapists. They aren't religious in their treatment approach, they are subsidized by the Catholic Church to offer these services to people of low income.

Check with your county, and city social services, and ask your GP. I'm pretty sure you'll be able to find something.

Don't try to do this on your own. Not only will it not work, but it may do more damage than good since you really need a professional to help you through this.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26156016


I will begin looking on Monday. Thank you!
CeeLite

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02/07/2013 10:05 PM
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Re: Help me. I think I'm suffering from DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
What makes you think you have DID, DID *is* MPD, do you hear voices?

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