OP, I'll say this right off, I can relate to this feeling whole heartedly. About 7 months ago, I found out from my brother that he had sexually abused me when we were very little, he was 6, I was 3. I couldn't remember it and infact a BIG part of my truth searching involved rediscovering myself over the last 2 years.

When he told me though, it turned my world on its head. EVERYTHING about my built up tensions, erroneous fears, and maladies now seemed to have an answer, or origin point at least. It was as if my entire life came full circle and I was the joke of my very own existence. I felt dirty, ashamed, and angry, really more than angry, rageful to be honest. I wanted to kill him. I mean HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO ME! the fucker did that to me and never told me the truth till 27 years later???! Of course, to him, he thought that i never forgot, but see thats just it. I was too young to remember it then despite it completely fucking up my soul. And I, growing up with him, loved him more than a brother should, because I didn't know any better. It's an aggrevating truth to reconcile that the man that should have had my back my entire life did more harm to me than anyone else I've ever met.

Yet, for the 27 years since, my brother and I have become close friends, and I couldn't condemn the life we had grown up in together, so I forgave him for what he did. It wasn't easy, mind you, and afterwards I left him in Atlanta and went home. I still find it difficult to be in his company since his confession. Hate is a difficult thing to overcome and I'm still pretty angry. Time will help.

So, for you OP, hang in there. Try to find it in your heart to forgive your family for keeping it secret from you because it's not a thing that can ever be easily approached or handled well. And as for the guilty person, you have every right to be mad at them and it's something only time and effort can mend if at all. Just try to move on if you can.