British newspapers are more fun to read!

Damn I need some brain bleach after reading that.

In same email from same friend.

British newspapers are more fun to read!

Teatime
love bite
A WOMAN almost bit off her husband's willy as he cooked pancakes for tea - while she gave him oral sex.
In the heat of passion he lost his grip on the pan and spilt boiling oil down her naked back.
She clenched her teeth on his willy and in agony he bashed her on the head with the pan.
Both only admitted how they received their injuries after "intense questioning" by hospital docs in Carloca, Romania.
The man needed treatment to his willy while the wife had burns, two black eyes and a broken cheek bone.

Last Edited by Proud American Supporter on 02/07/2013 09:36 PM

...and finally

DENMARK: A patient broke wind while having surgery and set fire to his genitals. The 30-year old man was having a mole removed from his bottom which an electric knife when his attack of flatulence was ignited by a spark. His genitals, which were soaked in surgical spirits, caught fire. The man, who is suing the hospital, said: "When I woke up, my penis and scrotum were burning like hell. Besides the pain, I can't have sex with my wife." Surgeons at the hospital in Kjellerups said: "It was an unfortunate accident."

Four Mexicans In A Rowboat

A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a rowboat
inside the 12-mile-limit of California.

The Navy Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts,
"Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts,
"We are invading the United States of America! to reclaim
the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."

The entire crew of the destroyer doubles-over in laughter.

When the Captain is finally able to catch his breath,
he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"

Oh my god can that really be TRUE? Hahaha! But not!

It's true. They sent copies of the news articles.

Last Edited by Proud American Supporter on 02/08/2013 01:27 AM

WTF rag are you reading, sounds like the daily sport.

Or the Sun, or the Mirror, or the News of the World (Is it still even in print?)....
But Op is right, the rags are fun to read

yikes, double yikes, triple yikes!!!

Lmao! This is so much better than reading the American news. "Triple rape homicide downtown"

for the laughs

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.

When we came out, there was a warden writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an “asshole” .

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tyres.

Mary called him a “shit head”. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived, we got on it and went home.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.

It's important at our age, what do you do?

They have boobies too.