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NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.

 
Texan Buckeye

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02/14/2013 01:31 AM
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Can't find roots beyond my Great Grand Mother who was a Kituwah Cherokee. First western settlers in eastern Oklahoma. She died when my Grand Mother was 2 yrs. old. I cant find ancestors even through census and rolls. Nobody is alive from my Mothers side of family where this bloodline is.

How can I get help ?
Not looking for any tribal relief, just where my roots go beyond.
I don't want to offend a tribe by asking, as it is my understanding, that the Kituwah had prided themselves by not mixing blood, therefore keeping true blood.
My Grandmother said her Mothers tribe settled before the second wave of tribal settlers moved west, including before the trail of tears.

Any suggestions ? Who would I consult ?

Thanks Fox, always like your posts. I did live on Ellsworth in the early 70's when I was younger. You were never stationed there were you ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14703874




Not to butt in, but have you contacted the Latter Day Saints (Mormons)? I'd bet that they have a Church somewhere in your town. If anyone could find out more about your family ancestors, it would be them! And they would be really happy to help you look, they have access to records which most people don't even know exist!!
 Quoting: Eggcellent


Hi, Eggcellent. Ancestry.com is the Mormons. AC said she already tried them when I suggested it, too. This one is going to be difficult.
They also serve who stand and wait. John Milton
Desert FoxModerator (OP)
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02/14/2013 01:34 AM

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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Can't find roots beyond my Great Grand Mother who was a Kituwah Cherokee. First western settlers in eastern Oklahoma. She died when my Grand Mother was 2 yrs. old. I cant find ancestors even through census and rolls. Nobody is alive from my Mothers side of family where this bloodline is.

How can I get help ?
Not looking for any tribal relief, just where my roots go beyond.
I don't want to offend a tribe by asking, as it is my understanding, that the Kituwah had prided themselves by not mixing blood, therefore keeping true blood.
My Grandmother said her Mothers tribe settled before the second wave of tribal settlers moved west, including before the trail of tears.

Any suggestions ? Who would I consult ?

Thanks Fox, always like your posts. I did live on Ellsworth in the early 70's when I was younger. You were never stationed there were you ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14703874




Not to butt in, but have you contacted the Latter Day Saints (Mormons)? I'd bet that they have a Church somewhere in your town. If anyone could find out more about your family ancestors, it would be them! And they would be really happy to help you look, they have access to records which most people don't even know exist!!
 Quoting: Eggcellent


Hi, Eggcellent. Ancestry.com is the Mormons. AC said she already tried them when I suggested it, too. This one is going to be difficult.
 Quoting: Texan Buckeye


Yes it is. OK is best, direct tribe contact best.
TOMABANEFOX
Phillip J. Fry
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02/14/2013 01:36 AM

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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Thanks for the cool thread. I have a grievance I'd like to get of my chest. I've lived in a rented house for the past 16 months. The rent has never been late and we've taken good care of the place. When we gave notice last week and requested a refund of our deposit, the landlord began demanding that I fix a bunch of rotted wood and rusted hardware on some of the decking and fences if I wanted my deposit back. When I challenged this, he began insulting my wife and myself, stating that the reason we are leaving is that I can't find work here and that no one at my wife's office likes her. I've never even tried to find work here, I'm a full time dad and I also make plenty cash as a consultant. He then went on to make some implied threats of violence. I think the guy is off his rocker, and I'm doing my best to not respond in kind. We still have another three weeks to live here, so I'm a bit concerned for our safety. FYI, we're not on the mainland, so the rules are a bit different here...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27786776


Got machetes? Stash em' around, under a dish towel in the kitchen etc...
If it goes bad you got the upper hand.
Any other conversations have a sturdy buddy there for back up and a witness.
"Don't do anything that affects anything. Unless it turns out you were supposed to do it, in which case for the love of God. Don't not do it!"
Eggcellent

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02/14/2013 01:48 AM
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verysad You are suffering deep depression. I know because I went thru two years of it over a daughter situation. Try and get on some Zoloft, it may help.
 Quoting: Desert Fox




Wellbutrin worked pretty well for me - It was the only medication which didn't make me feel like a zombie.
 Quoting: Eggcellent


Smallest dose of Zoloft normally doesn't cause that problem. Wellbutrin is also good, but some claim upset stomach.
 Quoting: Desert Fox




Actually, I had to go on something else when the Wellbutrin caused me to have a seizure. Apparently that can happen if you have EVER had a seizure, and I used to have "fever seizures" when I was a baby and a toddler. According to the doctor, a seizure makes a "pathway" through your brain, and even if/when you grow out of them the pathway remains. Somehow the Wellbutrin triggered the "pathway" to re-open (this was after nearly 3 years of use).

I don't use any chemical depression medicine now. Retirement ended a whole BUNCH of my stress, and I can control it herbally now. I feel a lot healthier!
"I have come to the conclusion that all news should be treated like 9/11, assume it is a psyop with actors participating in a staged event complete with props, until proven otherwise, in which case assume whatever is being recorded, reported, televised, is distortions/lying by omission/outright lies, until proven otherwise." - Anonymous, 4-13-12
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
verysad You are suffering deep depression. I know because I went thru two years of it over a daughter situation. Try and get on some Zoloft, it may help.
 Quoting: Desert Fox




Wellbutrin worked pretty well for me - It was the only medication which didn't make me feel like a zombie.
 Quoting: Eggcellent


Smallest dose of Zoloft normally doesn't cause that problem. Wellbutrin is also good, but some claim upset stomach.
 Quoting: Desert Fox




Actually, I had to go on something else when the Wellbutrin caused me to have a seizure. Apparently that can happen if you have EVER had a seizure, and I used to have "fever seizures" when I was a baby and a toddler. According to the doctor, a seizure makes a "pathway" through your brain, and even if/when you grow out of them the pathway remains. Somehow the Wellbutrin triggered the "pathway" to re-open (this was after nearly 3 years of use).

I don't use any chemical depression medicine now. Retirement ended a whole BUNCH of my stress, and I can control it herbally now. I feel a lot healthier!
 Quoting: Eggcellent

Ooohh, 3 years. Too long. Glad you are free of it and the stress now. DF
TOMABANEFOX
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02/14/2013 01:55 AM
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Grandma of 49 raisin my grandchild while dealing with her mother(Bipolar)and dealing with the father of child which took her at 15 while he was 25.

DA did nothing about that(bastards),he wants the child so it is costing an arm and leg for lawyer and also filed bankrupt,IRS after me and hubby over back taxes.

Husband has stopped calling or coming home(truck driver)i have one vehicle(old truck)on its last leg.

Im all alone(no family around)i find myself sleeping more and more,not getting chores done as i should.

I cry more than i ever have in my past,i try and tell myself other have it harder than me but somehow thats just not working anymore.

sad in Texas
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34242259


I would love to give you a hug!

Hang in there and good luck!
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Bed time, back tomorrow. Thanks to all who came here, and those that gave good support and showed compassion to your fellow man. Good night. hf DF

Last Edited by Desert Fox on 02/14/2013 02:05 AM
TOMABANEFOX
Eggcellent

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02/14/2013 02:07 AM
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Thanks for the cool thread. I have a grievance I'd like to get of my chest. I've lived in a rented house for the past 16 months. The rent has never been late and we've taken good care of the place. When we gave notice last week and requested a refund of our deposit, the landlord began demanding that I fix a bunch of rotted wood and rusted hardware on some of the decking and fences if I wanted my deposit back. When I challenged this, he began insulting my wife and myself, stating that the reason we are leaving is that I can't find work here and that no one at my wife's office likes her. I've never even tried to find work here, I'm a full time dad and I also make plenty cash as a consultant. He then went on to make some implied threats of violence. I think the guy is off his rocker, and I'm doing my best to not respond in kind. We still have another three weeks to live here, so I'm a bit concerned for our safety. FYI, we're not on the mainland, so the rules are a bit different here...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27786776




Did you have a rental agreement? Usually if there is a deposit required the agreement will list what it covers, i.e., the condition of the stove, refrigerator, bathroom fixtures, the carpeting (clean), garbage/car parts in the garage, etc. I'm not a lawyer, but if it didn't mention rotten wood and rusty hinges it seems like you'd not need to legally replace them. One time we rented from a really anal-retentive landlady, and she listed the light fixtures, towel racks, curtain rods, light bulbs, and every ratty piece of furniture! She must have learned over the years that if it wasn't in the rental agreement she couldn't gripe about it. Luckily we saved the old pieces of furniture when we gradually replaced them with somewhat better pieces, so she got back all of her original stuff.

You say that you're "not on the mainland". So would that be Hawaii? But even there, there must be landlord-tenant rules and legalities. They may even be listed on the Internet. Many landlords ARE bullies, and they count on renters not wanting to hassle with looking up the laws. Good luck!
 Quoting: Eggcellent

He told me somoa. Rules change.
 Quoting: Desert Fox




Yeah, I saw that after I posted. I can see where Samoa would have all SORTS of different rules and laws. When he said "mainland" I just thought he meant he was in Hawaii.

Once he is safely away from the situation, (no sense in riling up the landlord!) it would be really interesting to read a chronicle written by him of everything which is going on. I hope he keeps us updated on how things are going. bump
"I have come to the conclusion that all news should be treated like 9/11, assume it is a psyop with actors participating in a staged event complete with props, until proven otherwise, in which case assume whatever is being recorded, reported, televised, is distortions/lying by omission/outright lies, until proven otherwise." - Anonymous, 4-13-12
Nine's

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02/14/2013 02:13 AM
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Bed time, back tomorrow. Thanks to all who came here, and those that gave good support and showed compassion to your fellow man. Good night. hf DF
 Quoting: Desert Fox


Nite, DF. Sleep well.

Last Edited by Nine's on 02/14/2013 02:14 AM
Eggcellent

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02/14/2013 02:26 AM
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Can't find roots beyond my Great Grand Mother who was a Kituwah Cherokee. First western settlers in eastern Oklahoma. She died when my Grand Mother was 2 yrs. old. I cant find ancestors even through census and rolls. Nobody is alive from my Mothers side of family where this bloodline is.

How can I get help ?
Not looking for any tribal relief, just where my roots go beyond.
I don't want to offend a tribe by asking, as it is my understanding, that the Kituwah had prided themselves by not mixing blood, therefore keeping true blood.
My Grandmother said her Mothers tribe settled before the second wave of tribal settlers moved west, including before the trail of tears.

Any suggestions ? Who would I consult ?

Thanks Fox, always like your posts. I did live on Ellsworth in the early 70's when I was younger. You were never stationed there were you ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14703874




Not to butt in, but have you contacted the Latter Day Saints (Mormons)? I'd bet that they have a Church somewhere in your town. If anyone could find out more about your family ancestors, it would be them! And they would be really happy to help you look, they have access to records which most people don't even know exist!!
 Quoting: Eggcellent


Hi, Eggcellent. Ancestry.com is the Mormons. AC said she already tried them when I suggested it, too. This one is going to be difficult.
 Quoting: Texan Buckeye




Oh, sorry! But, I learn something new every time I log on to GLP!! hf
"I have come to the conclusion that all news should be treated like 9/11, assume it is a psyop with actors participating in a staged event complete with props, until proven otherwise, in which case assume whatever is being recorded, reported, televised, is distortions/lying by omission/outright lies, until proven otherwise." - Anonymous, 4-13-12
Eggcellent

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02/14/2013 02:33 AM
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Bed time, back tomorrow. Thanks to all who came here, and those that gave good support and showed compassion to your fellow man. Good night. hf DF
 Quoting: Desert Fox


Nite, DF. Sleep well.
 Quoting: Nine's




Sweet dreams, Fox. Hope you're feeling better. Thanks for another great thread!! bump hf bump
"I have come to the conclusion that all news should be treated like 9/11, assume it is a psyop with actors participating in a staged event complete with props, until proven otherwise, in which case assume whatever is being recorded, reported, televised, is distortions/lying by omission/outright lies, until proven otherwise." - Anonymous, 4-13-12
JimBomB

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02/14/2013 02:45 AM

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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
2 years ago I did not complete my 4 day henblacha and cant seem to find happy since.
Self delusion can be a grand thing!
MitakuyeOyasin!
TPTB ARE THE MACHINE [link to youtu.be]
[link to youtu.be]
terran1.618
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02/14/2013 03:46 AM
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
35 years old, stage2 cancer, late-stage alcoholism, broke, brokenhearted, isolated - no fear of death, but fear of further surgery/suffering

not complaints, life is interesting

thanks for the thread desertfox
goodmockingbird
In the Heart of the EF 5 Tornado Belt

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02/14/2013 04:00 AM

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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Can't find roots beyond my Great Grand Mother who was a Kituwah Cherokee. First western settlers in eastern Oklahoma. She died when my Grand Mother was 2 yrs. old. I cant find ancestors even through census and rolls. Nobody is alive from my Mothers side of family where this bloodline is.

How can I get help ?
Not looking for any tribal relief, just where my roots go beyond.
I don't want to offend a tribe by asking, as it is my understanding, that the Kituwah had prided themselves by not mixing blood, therefore keeping true blood.
My Grandmother said her Mothers tribe settled before the second wave of tribal settlers moved west, including before the trail of tears.

Any suggestions ? Who would I consult ?

Thanks Fox, always like your posts. I did live on Ellsworth in the early 70's when I was younger. You were never stationed there were you ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14703874


There is now a branch of Cherokee here in OK that are descended from the Keetowah.

I'm off to work now, will do some research and get back with you.

grouphug
In Memory of Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty: American Heroes, Abandoned and Betrayed.
goodmockingbird
In the Heart of the EF 5 Tornado Belt

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02/14/2013 03:38 PM

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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Can't find roots beyond my Great Grand Mother who was a Kituwah Cherokee. First western settlers in eastern Oklahoma. She died when my Grand Mother was 2 yrs. old. I cant find ancestors even through census and rolls. Nobody is alive from my Mothers side of family where this bloodline is.

How can I get help ?
Not looking for any tribal relief, just where my roots go beyond.
I don't want to offend a tribe by asking, as it is my understanding, that the Kituwah had prided themselves by not mixing blood, therefore keeping true blood.
My Grandmother said her Mothers tribe settled before the second wave of tribal settlers moved west, including before the trail of tears.

Any suggestions ? Who would I consult ?

Thanks Fox, always like your posts. I did live on Ellsworth in the early 70's when I was younger. You were never stationed there were you ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14703874


There is now a branch of Cherokee here in OK that are descended from the Keetowah.

I'm off to work now, will do some research and get back with you.

grouphug
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Okay, back with time to respond.

Here is a link to the Keetoway Band Cherokee of Oklahoma:

[link to www.ukb-nsn.gov]

Yes, as you have described, the Keetowah were the people who voluntarily left ahead of the forced migrations. As such they are NOT recorded on tribal rolls.

Here in OK, it is not unusual for someone to be fullblood Indian (or nearly so) without any Federal Certificate of Indian Blood (CDIB card)

On the other hand, there are plenty of folks who had one distant ancestor who was on the rolls, who have a CDIB card showing 1/132nd Indian blood.

Do not mistake having a CDIB or modern tribal affiliation with real Indian heritage. They are two different things.

The people who voluntarily migrated west settled all throught what is now western Louisiana, Texas and Oklahoma. Some went as far as Mexico. They were never documented. Many married with white folks who were either fleeing the law, or who simply liked a simple life of hunting and living off the land.

There are many, many of us. My own ancestry includes Texas Cherokee and Louisiana Caddo.

Our ancestors were simply independent people who valued their freedom above all else. Some were Indian, some were white, and some perhaps even Creole.

Our ancestors made their living off the fertile swamps, meadows, wood, and prairies. They lived with a desire to avoid being trapped by bureaucracy.

They, quite simply, lived what we would call off the grid, even the 'grid' of 200 years ago.

Strive towards honoring them by living a life they would be proud of, self-supporting and resourceful -- as the old Southern saying goes "Beholden to none".

Do we need to know their names? After 5 decades of studying and pondering this aspect of my ancestry, I have concluded that no, I do not. They gave me the marrow of my bones, and that is enough.

Thank you for giving me this opportunity to reach out to someone of similiar heritage, and further the unspoken bonds we share, and about which so little in known.
In Memory of Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty: American Heroes, Abandoned and Betrayed.
CHL2T
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02/14/2013 07:42 PM

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colorbump

For a great thread, hosted by great people!
Behind every great fortune, there is a crime ~ Balzac

He was and was not, He was encompassed in the name yet not encompassed in the name, having as yet no name other than the desire to be called by a name.... ~Umberto Eco
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colorbump

For a great thread, hosted by great people!
 Quoting: CHL2T


hf DF
TOMABANEFOX
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Can't find roots beyond my Great Grand Mother who was a Kituwah Cherokee. First western settlers in eastern Oklahoma. She died when my Grand Mother was 2 yrs. old. I cant find ancestors even through census and rolls. Nobody is alive from my Mothers side of family where this bloodline is.

How can I get help ?
Not looking for any tribal relief, just where my roots go beyond.
I don't want to offend a tribe by asking, as it is my understanding, that the Kituwah had prided themselves by not mixing blood, therefore keeping true blood.
My Grandmother said her Mothers tribe settled before the second wave of tribal settlers moved west, including before the trail of tears.

Any suggestions ? Who would I consult ?

Thanks Fox, always like your posts. I did live on Ellsworth in the early 70's when I was younger. You were never stationed there were you ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14703874


There is now a branch of Cherokee here in OK that are descended from the Keetowah.

I'm off to work now, will do some research and get back with you.

grouphug
 Quoting: goodmockingbird


Okay, back with time to respond.

Here is a link to the Keetoway Band Cherokee of Oklahoma:

[link to www.ukb-nsn.gov]

Yes, as you have described, the Keetowah were the people who voluntarily left ahead of the forced migrations. As such they are NOT recorded on tribal rolls.

Here in OK, it is not unusual for someone to be fullblood Indian (or nearly so) without any Federal Certificate of Indian Blood (CDIB card)

On the other hand, there are plenty of folks who had one distant ancestor who was on the rolls, who have a CDIB card showing 1/132nd Indian blood.

Do not mistake having a CDIB or modern tribal affiliation with real Indian heritage. They are two different things.

The people who voluntarily migrated west settled all throught what is now western Louisiana, Texas and Oklahoma. Some went as far as Mexico. They were never documented. Many married with white folks who were either fleeing the law, or who simply liked a simple life of hunting and living off the land.

There are many, many of us. My own ancestry includes Texas Cherokee and Louisiana Caddo.

Our ancestors were simply independent people who valued their freedom above all else. Some were Indian, some were white, and some perhaps even Creole.

Our ancestors made their living off the fertile swamps, meadows, wood, and prairies. They lived with a desire to avoid being trapped by bureaucracy.

They, quite simply, lived what we would call off the grid, even the 'grid' of 200 years ago.

Strive towards honoring them by living a life they would be proud of, self-supporting and resourceful -- as the old Southern saying goes "Beholden to none".

Do we need to know their names? After 5 decades of studying and pondering this aspect of my ancestry, I have concluded that no, I do not. They gave me the marrow of my bones, and that is enough.

Thank you for giving me this opportunity to reach out to someone of similiar heritage, and further the unspoken bonds we share, and about which so little in known.
 Quoting: goodmockingbird

A jewel you are my Mockingbird. Thanks. hf DF
TOMABANEFOX
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
35 years old, stage2 cancer, late-stage alcoholism, broke, brokenhearted, isolated - no fear of death, but fear of further surgery/suffering

not complaints, life is interesting

thanks for the thread desertfox
 Quoting: terran1.618 34050129

So sad my friend. The trials of life seem overwhelming in your case. I hope there is hope for you and that you overcome the cancer. Some book said, it is appointed once to live and once to die. I hope you have lived, for that is all we have. Best wishes to you. hf DF
TOMABANEFOX
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bump
TOMABANEFOX
goodmockingbird
In the Heart of the EF 5 Tornado Belt

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02/15/2013 03:52 AM

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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
35 years old, stage2 cancer, late-stage alcoholism, broke, brokenhearted, isolated - no fear of death, but fear of further surgery/suffering

not complaints, life is interesting

thanks for the thread desertfox
 Quoting: terran1.618 34050129

So sad my friend. The trials of life seem overwhelming in your case. I hope there is hope for you and that you overcome the cancer. Some book said, it is appointed once to live and once to die. I hope you have lived, for that is all we have. Best wishes to you. hf DF
 Quoting: Desert Fox


Late stage alcoholism does not mean that you must pass your closing days in a stupor.

Alcoholism, I once heard from a wise man who knew, is simply 'the human experience, squared'.

You are invited to a renaissance of clarity towards your end of days.

You are free in a way others are not yet free.

Free to live without fear.

I invite you to lay aside the chemical you needed to get you through a reality that is simply too much to us otherwise.

See clearly in a way others may not ever have a chance to see. Lay aside the booze. Time and circumstance have freed you from needing it.

See the interesting things around you. Knowledge that you are in your closing days is a gift, an invitation to clarity and freedom.

While Desert Fox wishes that you have lived -- a wise and valid blessing -- I wish that you do live, for however long, with a special gift; the clarity and wisdom of one who has seen true darkness and laid it down, even if but for a fleeting time. Take the freedom that is yours.
In Memory of Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty: American Heroes, Abandoned and Betrayed.
Anonymous Coward
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02/15/2013 04:03 AM
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
35 years old, stage2 cancer, late-stage alcoholism, broke, brokenhearted, isolated - no fear of death, but fear of further surgery/suffering

not complaints, life is interesting

thanks for the thread desertfox
 Quoting: terran1.618 34050129


[link to patients4medicalmarijuana.wordpress.com]
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
35 years old, stage2 cancer, late-stage alcoholism, broke, brokenhearted, isolated - no fear of death, but fear of further surgery/suffering

not complaints, life is interesting

thanks for the thread desertfox
 Quoting: terran1.618 34050129

So sad my friend. The trials of life seem overwhelming in your case. I hope there is hope for you and that you overcome the cancer. Some book said, it is appointed once to live and once to die. I hope you have lived, for that is all we have. Best wishes to you. hf DF
 Quoting: Desert Fox


Late stage alcoholism does not mean that you must pass your closing days in a stupor.

Alcoholism, I once heard from a wise man who knew, is simply 'the human experience, squared'.

You are invited to a renaissance of clarity towards your end of days.

You are free in a way others are not yet free.

Free to live without fear.

I invite you to lay aside the chemical you needed to get you through a reality that is simply too much to us otherwise.

See clearly in a way others may not ever have a chance to see. Lay aside the booze. Time and circumstance have freed you from needing it.

See the interesting things around you. Knowledge that you are in your closing days is a gift, an invitation to clarity and freedom.

While Desert Fox wishes that you have lived -- a wise and valid blessing -- I wish that you do live, for however long, with a special gift; the clarity and wisdom of one who has seen true darkness and laid it down, even if but for a fleeting time. Take the freedom that is yours.
 Quoting: goodmockingbird

All of the above. What I meant was, I hope that he had lived life to its fullest up to now.
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35 years old, stage2 cancer, late-stage alcoholism, broke, brokenhearted, isolated - no fear of death, but fear of further surgery/suffering

not complaints, life is interesting

thanks for the thread desertfox
 Quoting: terran1.618 34050129


[link to patients4medicalmarijuana.wordpress.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17401129


Interesting.
TOMABANEFOX
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02/15/2013 07:31 PM

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We all have things we feel we have no one to talk to about. Sometimes it just helps to unload it to help free your mind and heart. The longer we hold things inside us, the more stressed and depressed we become. This is a "no fault" thread, someone else is, or have, gone thru what you are struggling with and will probably comment back to you. JUST DUMP IT HERE. DF
 Quoting: Desert Fox


I'll keep that in mind.
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bump
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i have no direction in life...no real desire to play the bullshit game of life
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i have no direction in life...no real desire to play the bullshit game of life
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26184594


How old are you?

If you are in your twenties, or younger, I would say "Enjoy your youth!"

If you are in your thirties or older, I would say that you are part of a growing phenomenon -- that of people just like yourself.

A couple of hundred years ago, peoples' lives were pretty much planned out and laid out: You'd become a farmer, soldier, or shopkeeper like your dad. You'd have several kids because there was no birth control.

Nowadays the complexity of technology is overwhelming. Our nervous systems have become burnt out.

No one wants to set foot out the front door any more because the simple logistics and legalities of "just" going to the store involve operating a large machine, making ten thousand decisions to maneuver it, and undertaking complex legal liabilities to do so. We deal with a hundred thousand different laws just to go buy a sack of rice, and a sack of beans.

No wise or thoughtful person would choose to take on the burdens of what used to be a typical life.

More and more people are choosing to simply withdraw.

I would say, pursue what interests you and is wholesome and uplifting. We all have to make a living, so undertake a career that is interesting and worthwhile.

But what you are experiencing is not a bad thing, it is the inklings of wisdom, that life as most people live it today is simply overwhelming. Overwhelming, that is, to a sensitive, or thoughtful person.

Do something good every day of your life, even if it is a small thing, such as volunteering at the animal shelter.

Find your pleasures in small things. There is no real pleasure or satisfaction to be found from falling into the trap of money and success.

It's the modern world -- and its media -- that is sick and distorted, not the sensibilities of a thoughtful person who wants no part of it.
In Memory of Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty: American Heroes, Abandoned and Betrayed.
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i have no direction in life...no real desire to play the bullshit game of life
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 26184594


You must venture into the world of curves and cross roads to find your directions.
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