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NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.

 
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...


It's all good, no need to apologize. hf

I worked in law offices, myself. Hmmm...is there any chance you'd be willing to relocate from where you are? Maybe strike out in a different area of the country, or send out resumes and see if there is an interest? If you have some good solid experience, might be worth a shot, if you have the means. May make you feel a little "distanced" too from your family's connections, is it a possibility for you, or is relocation off the table? sun
 Quoting: Junkyard Lily


I completely open to relocating. I've lived in my home state near my parents too long as it is... perhaps that's part of the problem. :)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2029220


I think relocation might be the way to go, then, if you can swing it. Maybe start investigating some cities you might like, and poke around there a bit? Perhaps a trip or two to a place that looks promising, before committing, just to get a feel for the area? hf
 Quoting: Junkyard Lily


That's definitely the plan. I've been searching far and wide for something away from my parents. In fact, they've been wondering why I'm not hitting up all their connections during the past few months, and it's mainly been for the reason you described - because I've been working outside of their backyard.

Thanks so much for your help - it really helps to have someone confirm that I can live my own life and make my own decisions, and not just follow-the-parents, so to speak. A lot of people I know, even my friends, look at me like I'm crazy when I suggest that my number one goal isn't to capitalize on all the wonderful "opportunities" I could have through my parents.

My parents are great and have introduced me to many people I'm happy to know going forward. But I'm also different from them and have different beliefs about things, and it's not possible for me to follow them into the same careers that appeal to them personally.

I'll be searching far and wide, so wish me luck! And thanks again.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2029220


My pleasure! hugs

The real person to thank is you, you knew you had it in you I think, all along. cheer

You know, good things will come from this decision, I feel. sun It takes courage sometimes to strike out on a path away from the familiar, but the rewards can be great. You seem like a person who would like to contribute in a positive way to the world around you.

All the best to you! May the road rise up to meet you, and all that good stuff. Until we meet again. hf
ceawaves

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02/18/2013 12:37 PM

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all going to work out..

Last Edited by ceawaves on 02/18/2013 02:21 PM
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One of my parents is a former high-ranking FEMA employee and retired FBI agent, and the other is also a retired FBI agent who now works for a "charity" which deals with emergency preparedness issues and which is funded almost exclusively by one billionaire.

I'm in my 20s. I'm well-educated, intelligent, and harder working than most people I know. I have a good resume. I love and respect my parents. But I am highly distrustful of the government. In fact, it's that same distrust of the government that led me here to this site, among many others.

My main problem (which I acknowledge may not be that big compared to other people's problems) is that because I live in the U.S., where so many jobs are only available through "connections" people have, I may have to accept work I morally disagree with to become successful. I do not want to support a military-industrial apparatus that kills people in foreign countries for financial gain. I wish the opportunities provided me in my own life were not provided to me on this basis. However, I also don't want to be broke, unable to provide, and unaccomplished in life.

I am struggling as hard as I can to create opportunities for myself outside of this industry, but the sad matter is, I may not be able to find work doing something I see as being morally and socially responsible. I might have "opportunities" awaiting me in any number of alphabet-soup defense agencies and quasi-private organizations, but most (if not all) of those opportunities seem somewhat corrupt, if not completely bankrupt of any moral character.

Thanks for posting your thread. I wouldn't have told you my genuine problems had I not thought you would provide a genuine response.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2029220


Hi, 9220. sun Is your resume tied in with the government jobs, or do you have experience in another field?
 Quoting: Junkyard Lily


I have experience working in both the public and private sector. The problem is, my parents have connections to various charities, law/policy firms, and government agencies - ALL of which are heavily, heavily involved on the "wrong" side of the issue as I see it.

Just to give a couple (private and public) examples:

1) an employment law firm in town here advocates loosening restrictions on the type of background checks employers can perform on potential employees. I, on the other hand, am a very big believer in the idea that once a person has served their sentence, that person has repaid his/her debt to society, and shouldn't be (unreasonably) harassed thereafter... I would have to be a foot-soldier in championing this cause basically...

2) the FBI would almost certainly like me. I'm in good shape, have no record, and my parents were both FBI themselves. But I have heard a lot about police tactics and a LOT of other funny business that goes on in that agency to make me turn my tail and run...

So, what I have done for the last two years is work for an environmental law firm, and I really like that work. And no, it wasn't Greenpeace or anything like that. This law firm represented a lot of different people - industries accused of polluting, environmental groups accusing industries of polluting, individual people pollutingand everything in between. I like that work because it exposes me to a bunch of things in the world, I learn a lot, but mostly because I've helped quite a few people in the time I have worked there. People of all types, so there's a balance there that's respectable (despite lawyers' best efforts to make their profession less respectable, of course).

That's the work I would like to do - but unfortunately, the ground is shrinking beneath my feet. The firm I work for laid one of its attorneys off last summer, and that seems to be the typical direction most firms nationwide are going... :(

But I'm sorry I went into a little speech lol. You might not have been going in the direction I went at all... :) If you disagree about my "beliefs" that's fine, I'm more just interested in getting any practical advice I can get (and also to vent).
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2029220


It's all good, no need to apologize. hf

I worked in law offices, myself. Hmmm...is there any chance you'd be willing to relocate from where you are? Maybe strike out in a different area of the country, or send out resumes and see if there is an interest? If you have some good solid experience, might be worth a shot, if you have the means. May make you feel a little "distanced" too from your family's connections, is it a possibility for you, or is relocation off the table? sun
 Quoting: Junkyard Lily

Thank you for caring and giving the poster options that might lead to a solution. Just what I was hoping for on this thread. hf DF
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Thank you, my pleasure, DF. flower
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Thank you, my pleasure, DF. flower
 Quoting: Junkyard Lily


It is the real people out there that need someone to listen to them that we hope to help. You did that graciously.hf
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Thank you, my pleasure, DF. flower
 Quoting: Junkyard Lily


It is the real people out there that need someone to listen to them that we hope to help. You did that graciously.hf
 Quoting: Desert Fox


bump
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Willing listeners free here, get them before they are gone.
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02/20/2013 08:58 PM
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Great thread man...God bless
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Great thread man...God bless
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25306942


Thank you.
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Thank you Desert Fox I will need this thread.
Going to sleep soon very tired.
I will post tomorrow. Bless you hugs
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CHL2T
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How do you let a best friend go?
Here's my story, please bear with me, it's painfull

One of my best friends left us last week, but not in the way you would think. He told me in not so many words that he is leaving and I will most likely never see him again......

This person had been molested as a child, beaten, ridiculed and persecuted for his parents beliefs as well as living in the "hood" his entire young adulthood. To say that he did what it took to survive would be an understatement of the highest degree. This person was so afraid to tell me of his child/ young adulthood and what he had to do, that he though I would be scared of him and this among all other things weighed very heavy on him. Of course I never felt any fear of this person as he was/ is the most gentle, caring and emotional person that I had ever met. Me and my family accepted him with all of his warts and damage in hopes of helping him see that with love and light, anything can be overcome.

While playing in our band, he and the replacement bass player, hooked up and seemed as though they were going for the long haul and I had never seen him so happy. They bought a house and lived together for 8 years. She decided one day that he wasn't taking care of her the way she felt that she needed to be and left for another man. This was the final straw for this person as throughout his life he had been jilted, screwed, and left high and dry over and over again.

In the smoking thread, I wrote of our last night together and when I say It was tough to hang out knowing he was leaving, that is an understatement....

David, if you are out there, just remember that we love you and we are still here for you.....tissue
Behind every great fortune, there is a crime ~ Balzac

He was and was not, He was encompassed in the name yet not encompassed in the name, having as yet no name other than the desire to be called by a name.... ~Umberto Eco

Daydreaming without action is just hallucinating......
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Thank you Desert Fox I will need this thread.
Going to sleep soon very tired.
I will post tomorrow. Bless you hugs
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1575672


We will be here when you need us, promise. I try to come here daily, and another caring person named, Junkyard lily, is also available daily. She is kind, understanding and will be very helpful to you I am sure. Thanks for coming here. hf DF
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How do you let a best friend go?
Here's my story, please bear with me, it's painfull

One of my best friends left us last week, but not in the way you would think. He told me in not so many words that he is leaving and I will most likely never see him again......

This person had been molested as a child, beaten, ridiculed and persecuted for his parents beliefs as well as living in the "hood" his entire young adulthood. To say that he did what it took to survive would be an understatement of the highest degree. This person was so afraid to tell me of his child/ young adulthood and what he had to do, that he though I would be scared of him and this among all other things weighed very heavy on him. Of course I never felt any fear of this person as he was/ is the most gentle, caring and emotional person that I had ever met. Me and my family accepted him with all of his warts and damage in hopes of helping him see that with love and light, anything can be overcome.

While playing in our band, he and the replacement bass player, hooked up and seemed as though they were going for the long haul and I had never seen him so happy. They bought a house and lived together for 8 years. She decided one day that he wasn't taking care of her the way she felt that she needed to be and left for another man. This was the final straw for this person as throughout his life he had been jilted, screwed, and left high and dry over and over again.

In the smoking thread, I wrote of our last night together and when I say It was tough to hang out knowing he was leaving, that is an understatement....

David, if you are out there, just remember that we love you and we are still here for you.....tissue
 Quoting: CHL2T

Sadone How did David leave you?
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How do you let a best friend go?
Here's my story, please bear with me, it's painfull

One of my best friends left us last week, but not in the way you would think. He told me in not so many words that he is leaving and I will most likely never see him again......

This person had been molested as a child, beaten, ridiculed and persecuted for his parents beliefs as well as living in the "hood" his entire young adulthood. To say that he did what it took to survive would be an understatement of the highest degree. This person was so afraid to tell me of his child/ young adulthood and what he had to do, that he though I would be scared of him and this among all other things weighed very heavy on him. Of course I never felt any fear of this person as he was/ is the most gentle, caring and emotional person that I had ever met. Me and my family accepted him with all of his warts and damage in hopes of helping him see that with love and light, anything can be overcome.

While playing in our band, he and the replacement bass player, hooked up and seemed as though they were going for the long haul and I had never seen him so happy. They bought a house and lived together for 8 years. She decided one day that he wasn't taking care of her the way she felt that she needed to be and left for another man. This was the final straw for this person as throughout his life he had been jilted, screwed, and left high and dry over and over again.

In the smoking thread, I wrote of our last night together and when I say It was tough to hang out knowing he was leaving, that is an understatement....

David, if you are out there, just remember that we love you and we are still here for you.....tissue
 Quoting: CHL2T

verysad You ask how do you let a good friend go. Well, it is much the same as you do when someone close to you dies. You cling to their memory with the good times as well as the bad times. You must allow father time to heal the heart just as we do with a death. Perhaps he will return one day, we know not the future, and it is better that way. Time may heal his pain as well, and rethink his dicision to leave. Bottom line is, go on with life and let things take their course, because they will whether we like it or not. Best wishes for the lot of you friend. sorry DF
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How do you let a best friend go?
Here's my story, please bear with me, it's painfull

One of my best friends left us last week, but not in the way you would think. He told me in not so many words that he is leaving and I will most likely never see him again......

This person had been molested as a child, beaten, ridiculed and persecuted for his parents beliefs as well as living in the "hood" his entire young adulthood. To say that he did what it took to survive would be an understatement of the highest degree. This person was so afraid to tell me of his child/ young adulthood and what he had to do, that he though I would be scared of him and this among all other things weighed very heavy on him. Of course I never felt any fear of this person as he was/ is the most gentle, caring and emotional person that I had ever met. Me and my family accepted him with all of his warts and damage in hopes of helping him see that with love and light, anything can be overcome.

While playing in our band, he and the replacement bass player, hooked up and seemed as though they were going for the long haul and I had never seen him so happy. They bought a house and lived together for 8 years. She decided one day that he wasn't taking care of her the way she felt that she needed to be and left for another man. This was the final straw for this person as throughout his life he had been jilted, screwed, and left high and dry over and over again.

In the smoking thread, I wrote of our last night together and when I say It was tough to hang out knowing he was leaving, that is an understatement....

David, if you are out there, just remember that we love you and we are still here for you.....tissue
 Quoting: CHL2T

Sadone How did David leave you?
 Quoting: Nine's

Thanks for jumping in to assist.hf DF
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02/21/2013 08:18 PM
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yes, feed him your pain pope2

hahahahah

I got troubles...it's monsoon season here in Hawaii and I don't have an umbrella (lost it). It really sucks walking my dog in it....seriously don't feel like pickin up poo in the pouring rain either..but I live on a military post so people give you that look-and I have to look at my phone to take a fake phone call to avoid that inevitable "aren't you going to pick that up?" surrounded by wangs, it's the worst
Guns don't kill people, the government does--Dale Gribble, King of the Hill
Nine's

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How do you let a best friend go?
Here's my story, please bear with me, it's painfull

One of my best friends left us last week, but not in the way you would think. He told me in not so many words that he is leaving and I will most likely never see him again......

This person had been molested as a child, beaten, ridiculed and persecuted for his parents beliefs as well as living in the "hood" his entire young adulthood. To say that he did what it took to survive would be an understatement of the highest degree. This person was so afraid to tell me of his child/ young adulthood and what he had to do, that he though I would be scared of him and this among all other things weighed very heavy on him. Of course I never felt any fear of this person as he was/ is the most gentle, caring and emotional person that I had ever met. Me and my family accepted him with all of his warts and damage in hopes of helping him see that with love and light, anything can be overcome.

While playing in our band, he and the replacement bass player, hooked up and seemed as though they were going for the long haul and I had never seen him so happy. They bought a house and lived together for 8 years. She decided one day that he wasn't taking care of her the way she felt that she needed to be and left for another man. This was the final straw for this person as throughout his life he had been jilted, screwed, and left high and dry over and over again.

In the smoking thread, I wrote of our last night together and when I say It was tough to hang out knowing he was leaving, that is an understatement....

David, if you are out there, just remember that we love you and we are still here for you.....tissue
 Quoting: CHL2T

Sadone How did David leave you?
 Quoting: Nine's

Thanks for jumping in to assist.hf DF
 Quoting: Desert Fox

My pleasure DF. It's so hard to lose someone we care for. Sounds like maybe David decided he didn't want to live anymore. Hope I'm wrong. Sometimes it helps to just talk.
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yes, feed him your pain pope2

hahahahah

I got troubles...it's monsoon season here in Hawaii and I don't have an umbrella (lost it). It really sucks walking my dog in it....seriously don't feel like pickin up poo in the pouring rain either..but I live on a military post so people give you that look-and I have to look at my phone to take a fake phone call to avoid that inevitable "aren't you going to pick that up?" surrounded by wangs, it's the worst
 Quoting: boltacular


lolsign I feel your pain. lol, lol. DF
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
How do you let a best friend go?
Here's my story, please bear with me, it's painfull

One of my best friends left us last week, but not in the way you would think. He told me in not so many words that he is leaving and I will most likely never see him again......

This person had been molested as a child, beaten, ridiculed and persecuted for his parents beliefs as well as living in the "hood" his entire young adulthood. To say that he did what it took to survive would be an understatement of the highest degree. This person was so afraid to tell me of his child/ young adulthood and what he had to do, that he though I would be scared of him and this among all other things weighed very heavy on him. Of course I never felt any fear of this person as he was/ is the most gentle, caring and emotional person that I had ever met. Me and my family accepted him with all of his warts and damage in hopes of helping him see that with love and light, anything can be overcome.

While playing in our band, he and the replacement bass player, hooked up and seemed as though they were going for the long haul and I had never seen him so happy. They bought a house and lived together for 8 years. She decided one day that he wasn't taking care of her the way she felt that she needed to be and left for another man. This was the final straw for this person as throughout his life he had been jilted, screwed, and left high and dry over and over again.

In the smoking thread, I wrote of our last night together and when I say It was tough to hang out knowing he was leaving, that is an understatement....

David, if you are out there, just remember that we love you and we are still here for you.....tissue
 Quoting: CHL2T

Sadone How did David leave you?
 Quoting: Nine's

Thanks for jumping in to assist.hf DF
 Quoting: Desert Fox

My pleasure DF. It's so hard to lose someone we care for. Sounds like maybe David decided he didn't want to live anymore. Hope I'm wrong. Sometimes it helps to just talk.
 Quoting: Nine's


Hoping he just needed some space and time. DF
TOMABANEFOX
CHL2T
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He left in his car to destinations unknown with no clear answers for anybody...
Behind every great fortune, there is a crime ~ Balzac

He was and was not, He was encompassed in the name yet not encompassed in the name, having as yet no name other than the desire to be called by a name.... ~Umberto Eco

Daydreaming without action is just hallucinating......
Nine's

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He left in his car to destinations unknown with no clear answers for anybody...
 Quoting: CHL2T


Thanks for answering. Do you have an opinion on where he might have gone?
Anonymous Coward
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I'm having an affair at work. I've never done anything like this before. I dont know how to feel about it.

Yea. im a dick, prolly. And stupid. I have been lonely in my relationship for soo long. It is sexless, but my so is a good friend and I love her.

I feel alive with this new girl. I thought I was too old for that. I havent had sex in years despite being in a committed relationship.

Im probably going to ruin everything.
Im going to continue anyway. Maybe I want everything to come apart????
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2013 08:27 PM
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I'm having an affair at work. I've never done anything like this before. I dont know how to feel about it.

Yea. im a dick, prolly. And stupid. I have been lonely in my relationship for soo long. It is sexless, but my so is a good friend and I love her.

I feel alive with this new girl. I thought I was too old for that. I havent had sex in years despite being in a committed relationship.

Im probably going to ruin everything.
Im going to continue anyway. Maybe I want everything to come apart????
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1282620


PS I just survived stage 3 cancer. I think Im fucked up mentally. No excuse, i know.
CHL2T
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Sadly Nines, you are not wrong. I just hope he can find some peace.....

Last Edited by CHL2T on 02/21/2013 08:31 PM
Behind every great fortune, there is a crime ~ Balzac

He was and was not, He was encompassed in the name yet not encompassed in the name, having as yet no name other than the desire to be called by a name.... ~Umberto Eco

Daydreaming without action is just hallucinating......
Nine's

User ID: 23438707
United States
02/21/2013 08:32 PM
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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Are you pretty sure of that, or speculating based on what he's said? Isn't there a chance he might have decided to cut all connections and try to make a new life somewhere else, and he might someday let you know?

Last Edited by Nine's on 02/21/2013 08:33 PM
CHL2T
Handle it Man!

User ID: 989605
United States
02/21/2013 08:39 PM

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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
I'm having an affair at work. I've never done anything like this before. I dont know how to feel about it.

Yea. im a dick, prolly. And stupid. I have been lonely in my relationship for soo long. It is sexless, but my so is a good friend and I love her.

I feel alive with this new girl. I thought I was too old for that. I havent had sex in years despite being in a committed relationship.

Im probably going to ruin everything.
Im going to continue anyway. Maybe I want everything to come apart????
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1282620


PS I just survived stage 3 cancer. I think Im fucked up mentally. No excuse, i know.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1282620


You're not mental, just a jackass for cheating on your "so". If she truly was, you would have done her a favor by ending it.

I personally would not fuck up my long term relationship for sex with a younger woman and believe me, it's not like I couldn't
Behind every great fortune, there is a crime ~ Balzac

He was and was not, He was encompassed in the name yet not encompassed in the name, having as yet no name other than the desire to be called by a name.... ~Umberto Eco

Daydreaming without action is just hallucinating......
CHL2T
Handle it Man!

User ID: 989605
United States
02/21/2013 08:44 PM

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Re: NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Are you pretty sure of that, or speculating based on what he's said? Isn't there a chance he might have decided to cut all connections and try to make a new life somewhere else, and he might someday let you know?
 Quoting: Nine's


I really hope so.....
Behind every great fortune, there is a crime ~ Balzac

He was and was not, He was encompassed in the name yet not encompassed in the name, having as yet no name other than the desire to be called by a name.... ~Umberto Eco

Daydreaming without action is just hallucinating......

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