NO ONE TO TELL YOUR TROUBLES TO?? GET THEM OFF YOUR CHEST HERE. WE PROMISE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.

Sweetie, your happy self is still there, it's just in the background right now. I was in an abusive marriage and let me tell you, it is NEVER, EVER ok to put up with abuse. Not ever!! You have to keep reminding yourself that YOU are a person of worth. You matter. I think you might need to consider getting away for a time. You need some healing time and it sounds like both of you are on the edge. It might help for both of you to get some kind of counseling. Prayers sent for you and your husband. Please be safe.

Last Edited by Texan Buckeye on 03/07/2013 12:51 AM

Sorry for what happened in the past. I think he just killed your love for him in that heated moment. I am not sure you can regain it, but perhaps a good christian marriage counselor could find out. That is if you can get him to go see one. Even if you have to go by yourself, I would suggest you go. They are free and some are very good. You are not crazy, just deeply disturbed by your insecurity in your marriage. Have you two talked about that incident at any length? If not, you need to do that first and clear the air. You may feel relieved after getting it all out in the open, and have a better idea which direction to go. DF

I would rather have one true friend then tons of fake ones so you're doing good on the friend front! As for the girl, well you know what to do. Why would you let anyone treat you like shit?

It's great that you've stopped doing drugs, that certainly can't go on forever. If no one wants to hang out with you because you don't get high that just shows you they aren't really your friends.

There are lots of people who love to create music, I bet you could find a way to hook up with fellow musicians, you would be around creative people instead of people just looking for the next high.

Being lonely is an awful feeling! Look around for small cafes or venues where the artsy types like to hang out. My youngest son had that problem because it seems a lot of young people just want to go out and get toasted.

He's a writer and has found places that do readings and he's made friends that have the same interests. Good luck...you sound awesome and if you could post some of your music that would be cool!

^^ This!

I am an alcoholic thats been in and out of recovery for 5 years and cant manager to "get it". I go to AA, I have a support system, I go to church, attend a bible study but every few weeks the booze calls me and I drink for a day or two. I can't break this cycle. Help!

Thanks to the rest of you as well for the inspiring words. Even tho its hard I will keep going.
And yeah I think I am pretty good. I have been making music for a while. Someone asked me to post my music. I dont want to spam or whatever but heres one of tracks. [link to soundcloud.com (secure)]

what do you do when "the booze calls"?

The only problem I have is that I have horrible social anxiety. Its really hard for me to meet new people. I am scared to go up and talk to people I dont know. So I guess it is my own fault that I am lonely.
I have a friend who likes to make music but he would rather go out and do drugs and stuff than chill with me and make music.
I live in a small town in Iowa so its hard to find places to meet creative types. But I will have to start trying.
Thank you for the reply and inspiring words.
Like I said I am not trying to spam but since you asked to hear some of my music here you go! [link to soundcloud.com (secure)]
You can find my facebook link on my soundcloud page. Feel free to add me so we can chat or whatnot.
(Sorry if I broke any rules by posting links here)

I would say, from my perspective, keep trying. If you fall off from where you were, get back up, and keep going. I have some people very close to me who are in recovery, and have been for several years, I will get back to ya. Don't be discouraged, and keep that support system close to you.

I think it's pretty <3. I can definitely hear the melancholy in it, the admixture of sadness and a dreamy type of quality. What programs do you use? I used to mess around with FL Studio a bit, though was not very good. Keep writing your journey through this, and keep your chin up.

Hi, there AC! I'm glad you came back. Sorry I was out for awhile. I can't listen right now, but I will in a bit. I can't wait, especially after reading Lily's comments.

Boy, do I understand what you're saying!LOL I grew up in a small town, too, but close to a city. There weren't many opportunities for musicians, though. Not like there are now, at least. Do you ever watch American Idol? I really don't, but a year or so ago, a young lady from my home county was runner-up. I'm going to embarrass myself here, I'm lousy with names, but her last name is Bowersox (sp?). I think her first name is Christa? She's from an even smaller town about 10 or so miles from my hometown. That girl had a rough road to travel and she's a single mom, too. She's amazing! Try and google her. I know her last name is right, just not sure about the spelling. If you find a picture, you'll know it's her by her long, wild, blond hair! I tried to pay attention to the contest because she was from home and a good friend of mine from HS recruited her for the Toledo School of Performing Arts. I didn't even know they had one!

You know, musicians can be a strange breed of people. We can live in a world that no one else can experiance. We try to share, but it seems that un-musicians don't quite get it sometimes. I know, I made up a word! So many think drugs help them write or perform better. That's not true. The music is from your heart and soul, not the chemicals.

Don't worry so much about being shy. One of my very best friends in school was an awesome guitarist. He rarely spoke to people. Sometimes, I think it's because we don't always live in a world of words. We think in terms of chords, scales, arppegios, dissanence and resolution. Somewhere out there, is a girl that is your other half. She'll be the one to talk when you can't. Try to be patient, you'll know her when you meet her. Don't settle for an imperfect chord.

I have to go to Florida for a few weeks, but fear not you will be greeted here by great people. I will check is as I can. To all my helpers remember my motto" those who help others, help themselves". May we continue to help those in need. Love to all, The Desert Fox.

Yes, indeed, I will check in when I can, DF, safe travels!

Pass the word to the other helpers when you see them. DF

Have a safe trip, DF. Everyone will try our best, I'm sure!

Have a safe and fun trip DF!

I know and trust you guys, I really do. DF

Will do, looks like some of my compadres are here, already! :-D :grouphug:

I'm a writer: growing up, I always felt I never fit in. As I got older, I realized that a) there were people who could understand me and b)people with rich internal lives need fewer acquaintances than most. And like the others, I think three is a great number of true friends.

I just listened to your song and all I can say is WOW! Young man, if you give this up and start using drugs again, I'll pull my mom card on your butt! You have the gift!! Keep it up, keep working and getting better. One day, very soon, you might find yourself somewhere other than Iowa. I'll be watching for you!

Good morning! Wishing you all a happy Friday,

Hi! I can totally understand the social anxiety, it's one of the reasons, if not the main one, that I started drinking and using, made it easier to talk to people and socialize.

I am clean now and have been for some time. I had to literally force myself to talk to people or put myself in social situations but it worked, now you can't shut me up. Once I decided that I didn't care if people liked me for who I am it was much easier.

Just be yourself, you seem like a bright, interesting person and there are like minded friendly people who would love to be in your company.

Have you ever looked at meetup.com? It's where people go with similiar interests and they arrange get togethers, I know you're on the shy side but what do you have to lose? If anyone is in your area maybe they can chime in with ideas.

Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, I got caught up in watching old episodes of Deadwood LOL

I will take a listen to your music now.



Okay, went to your link....help me find your music! LOL..I see downloads.

Last Edited by geminilion on 03/08/2013 04:03 AM

Agreed! I was in an abusive marriage for years. It can tear you down to the point near insanity. You start to hate yourself and perhaps start to believe the bad things abuser says to you.

If he is being physically abusive I would recommend getting yourself out of the situation pronto. There are many groups and organizations to help woman in that position.

I am sure one of us can find you a safe place if need be.

Hugs.....

Just click the play button. It's in the top left corner of the page.

Why do you require physical violence before recommending someone to take action? Psychological abuse is often just as bad, if not worse. And it's certainly enough to give the abused the "right" to distance themselves from the abuser.

Remember: People stay together out of free will, nothing else. There is no obligation involved.

However, I don't think the husband in question is being abusive at all. It sounds like he just has a lot of pent up anger which he vents on his surroundings unthinkingly. This is not abuse, but it is hella annoying and hard to live with.

I'm with the person who said the thing that "snapped" inside the woman who wrote this, was her love for her husband. Perhaps this can be repaired, perhaps not, it's all up to the people involved. In either case, she needs to have a very open discussion with him. He needs to win back her trust and love.

This can be done in an instant, or it can take forever. Emotional wounds can be healed in a second if you put on the right salve in the right place, but linger for all eternity otherwise.

Openness on the heart level can still save the relationship, if that is desired by the parties involved.

Good morning, Elemental! Same to you!