I have been ridiculed, I have been chastised, I have been mocked, and I have been hurt, all for the fact that I am a Christian and that I believe in God. At the time, I said that it didn't hurt me, that my faith deflected the hateful insults, but I lied. All of that hate made me start questioning why I believed what I did, and what good could possibly come from it. I even questioned whether or not I believed in God.
I don't know if I am saved, I don't know if what I have done here on Earth is worthy of being called into the Kingdom of God, but what I do know is that there is a feeling in me, one that grows stronger and makes all the difference when I am so near the end of my rope, when I can't think of anything better than ending my life. What that feeling is and where it comes from is not as near as important to me as what it gives me, and that is conviction and strength, but most of all, confidence.
From that same feeling, I know that the same ones criticizing me for what I believe are ones so lost in this world, that they need to tear down those different from them to give them some sort of validation in this world, to give them comfort. The only trouble is that it gives them no comfort, only more pain. They are the same ones that come back to me and ask me why I hope so much or why I have such an optimistic outlook on life.
There are plenty of people throughout history that try and dictate to you or define what reality is or what the very feelings you have inside of you really are. They are never short in abundance nor or they short in judgment. I am not here to judge any of you, God knows I am not in the place to issue any judgment on anyone.
What I will say is that something, call it God, call it a higher power, call it synchronicity, call it whatever you want, has saved me from the darkest of places. After that time, the things I have done, as long as they are in accordance with what I understand to be of God's Commandments, have kept me from harm and have given me true joy and fulfillment. You don't have to believe a word I say to you, and if you don't, I do not judge you in the least bit. What I will say to you is that I have done so many wrongs in my life, and the first time that I realized that I could cry in happiness for my future, it was when I found God.