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How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!

 
simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 05:49 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Actually please delete this thread..

"Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now." - John 2:10
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34441843


Yeah...bring it out when everybody is ALREADY DRUNK. SO DRUNK, in fact, that they DRANK ALL THE WINE AT THE PARTY.

Even a Magnum 40 tastes good when you're trashed.
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Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 05:50 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
.... you know, I was expecting a bullshit thread, but this might just reveal the source of a metaphor that most idiots are not aware is a metaphor in the first place.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34494403


So you are saying that if you don´t know many things or don´t realize because... Than you and your family are fuckin idiots and retards , so you mofo idiot you don´t know many other things huh so gtfo,simple
<ambiguous>

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02/16/2013 05:51 AM

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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Give not that which is holy to the dogs, nor cast your pearls before the swine, lest they trample them with their feet, and turning round rend you.
 Quoting: <ambiguous>


Some of Jesus' finest words. I certainly agree. But have you ever thought that YOU might be the oinker? Of course not. Swine can't think.
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


So you acknowledge the truth of His words and yet deny the truth of the miracle?
 Quoting: <ambiguous>


What-- you can't see truth in SOME words or SOME miracles? It's all or nothing with you?

Well, I've got a proposition for you:

I'm a human being.

I've got ocean-front property in AZ to sell you.

WOW! A truth AND a lie??? Did your head just explode?
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


So you're saying that His words and actions were of truth and lies? Doesn't that negate His purpose and what He was all about?
Children of the Atom

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02/16/2013 05:51 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
I'm curious, what purpose does this thread serve? To ridicule others for their beliefs? To prove Christ was not God?

Last Edited by Children of the Atom on 02/16/2013 05:51 AM
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 05:54 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Step 1: Find a wine jug that's been used a lot of times.

Step 2: Fill jug with room-temperature water.

Step 3: Agitate.

Step 4: Serve wine-colored/flavored water to already drunk wedding guests.

Step 5: YOU SAVED THE PARTY! IT'S A MIRACLE!
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


!

Exactly my sentiments.

And what about the "cripple" that could suddenly walk after a talking to? Maybe that cripple wasn't really cripple and it was an act to convince the "gathering crowds" of Jesus's powers.
Judethz
Israel is Eternal

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02/16/2013 05:55 AM

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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Jhn 2:10 And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: [but] thou hast kept the good wine until now.
 Quoting: Judethz


Right...

Wine of the highest quality...
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


judethcflo9 There is also the wine of the wrath of God, but I really don't think that you would want to drink that.

Rev 14:10 The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb:
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 05:56 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
.... you know, I was expecting a bullshit thread, but this might just reveal the source of a metaphor that most idiots are not aware is a metaphor in the first place.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34494403


Indeed. Jesus' first miracle was a parlor trick, most likely.

What may surprise you is that I've actually tried this trick. It was a hit. The water tasted like weak wine and it was a deep burgundy color. I used an old Spanish wine skin and not a jug. I would imagine that the results would be similar. The wine skin hadn't been used in 50 or more years. Still, the water tasted like wine.
 Quoting: simultaneous_final
fool/
simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 05:57 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
...


Some of Jesus' finest words. I certainly agree. But have you ever thought that YOU might be the oinker? Of course not. Swine can't think.
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


So you acknowledge the truth of His words and yet deny the truth of the miracle?
 Quoting: <ambiguous>


What-- you can't see truth in SOME words or SOME miracles? It's all or nothing with you?

Well, I've got a proposition for you:

I'm a human being.

I've got ocean-front property in AZ to sell you.

WOW! A truth AND a lie??? Did your head just explode?
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


So you're saying that His words and actions were of truth and lies? Doesn't that negate His purpose and what He was all about?
 Quoting: <ambiguous>


Reconsile that for yourself. I'm not a Christian.

But as for myself, I don't find it unusual at all that a man would mix lies and truth to get his message across. Look at history. Hitler did it. Stalin. Bush. Obama. All the rest.

Last Edited by simultaneous_final on 02/16/2013 06:05 AM
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Menosgada

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02/16/2013 05:57 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
I can turn wine into piss and so can you
Trying to get as much space as possible between me....and people
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 05:59 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Please unpin this thread because of too much stupidity.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34441843


Really? I find it funny. People claiming to have a brain ignoring logic. Claiming to have the facts, using a single book and when questioned reffrence the same book for proof, this is not some kind of chuckle?
Not to mention there was of course NEVER a vested intrest in any form of embelishment in any so called holy book, none what so ever. Just ask the cartoon version of the self appointed queenie of the mic-o-bees (I thought she was old test. and talmud/torah anyway. You know, the side that says christ is in hell boiling in his own exrement.) . Her ilk would never embelish a tale or tell a lie.banana2
simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 06:01 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
I'm curious, what purpose does this thread serve? To ridicule others for their beliefs? To prove Christ was not God?
 Quoting: Children of the Atom


Maybe Christ WAS God. I don't know. This thread is just to show the simple parlor trick of turning water into wine.
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<ambiguous>

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02/16/2013 06:02 AM

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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
...


So you acknowledge the truth of His words and yet deny the truth of the miracle?
 Quoting: <ambiguous>


What-- you can't see truth in SOME words or SOME miracles? It's all or nothing with you?

Well, I've got a proposition for you:

I'm a human being.

I've got ocean-front property in AZ to sell you.

WOW! A truth AND a lie??? Did your head just explode?
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


So you're saying that His words and actions were of truth and lies? Doesn't that negate His purpose and what He was all about?
 Quoting: <ambiguous>


Reconsile that for yourself. I'm not a Christian.

But as for myself, I don't find it unusual at all that a man would mix lies and truth to get his message across. Look at history. Butler did it. Stalin. Bush. Obama. All the rest.
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


I'll let you continue your troll without interrupting you further.
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 06:03 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
I´m not christian but please christians leave this poor troll alone
simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 06:03 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
I can turn wine into piss and so can you
 Quoting: Menosgada


You don't BUY wine...you borrow it!
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simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 06:04 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
I´m not christian but please christians leave this poor troll alone
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13497296


Who you calling a troll, AC?
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simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 06:10 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
...


What-- you can't see truth in SOME words or SOME miracles? It's all or nothing with you?

Well, I've got a proposition for you:

I'm a human being.

I've got ocean-front property in AZ to sell you.

WOW! A truth AND a lie??? Did your head just explode?
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


So you're saying that His words and actions were of truth and lies? Doesn't that negate His purpose and what He was all about?
 Quoting: <ambiguous>


Reconsile that for yourself. I'm not a Christian.

But as for myself, I don't find it unusual at all that a man would mix lies and truth to get his message across. Look at history. Butler did it. Stalin. Bush. Obama. All the rest.
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


I'll let you continue your troll without interrupting you further.
 Quoting: <ambiguous>


That's what all the mentally-infirm say. Give up. It's easier to just call me a "troll" than to acknowledge (you don't have to accept it) the VERY SIMPLE explanation for this "unexplainable miracle".
A subject observes itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself ad infinitum.
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 06:11 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
I´m not christian but please christians leave this poor troll alone
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 13497296

He is obviously searching for something.
Children of the Atom

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02/16/2013 06:11 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
I can turn wine into piss and so can you
 Quoting: Menosgada


You don't BUY wine...you borrow it!
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


chuckle
Ozicell

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02/16/2013 06:15 AM

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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Many would be amazed at just how many so called miracles boil down to just plain common sense!

Last Edited by Ozicell on 02/16/2013 06:33 AM
That which is - has already been, And what is to be - has already been. Quote: King Solomon.
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 06:17 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Congrats.

You know how to cheat people. rant
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 06:18 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Many would be amazed at just now many so called miracles boil down to just plain common sense!
 Quoting: Ozicell

Care to expand?

Meanwhile.

simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 06:19 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Congrats.

You know how to cheat people. rant
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8379586


praise the lord!
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Menosgada

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02/16/2013 06:25 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Congrats.

You know how to cheat people. rant
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8379586


praise the lord!
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


We need that smiley of that black lady hollering "hallerluja" or somehing...
Trying to get as much space as possible between me....and people
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 06:26 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
More importantly, how did he feed the 4,000? Or the 5,000?
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 06:33 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Step 1: Find a wine jug that's been used a lot of times.

Step 2: Fill jug with room-temperature water.

Step 3: Agitate.

Step 4: Serve wine-colored/flavored water to already drunk wedding guests.

Step 5: YOU SAVED THE PARTY! IT'S A MIRACLE!
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


you forgot to add the Future time traveler wine tasting COOL aid or tang mix !

Even miracles have a method , be it magical transmutation of elements or mere magic trickery ...
but there are LAWS to follow in GODS (Lucifer) created universe ...

Its the method & not the results you need to look into when inquiring into miracles..

fact : it happened..

method .. unknown ...
<ambiguous>

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02/16/2013 06:37 AM

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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
That's what all the mentally-infirm say. Give up. It's easier to just call me a "troll" than to acknowledge (you don't have to accept it) the VERY SIMPLE explanation for this "unexplainable miracle".
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


Ok... you say you're not a christian but seem quite content to question their beliefs by equating it all to a parlour trick that anyone could do. What is to you what others believe and have faith in? Do you have some deep sense of goodwill towards your fellow man that compels you to do so?

There are those that will agree with you and those that won't so to what extent should we keep discussing it so that one agrees to agree?

Last Edited by <ambiguous> on 02/16/2013 06:38 AM
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 06:41 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
worst thread ever in glp... for a mile.
Ozicell

User ID: 33380026
Australia
02/16/2013 06:41 AM

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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Many would be amazed at just now many so called miracles boil down to just plain common sense!
 Quoting: Ozicell

Care to expand?

Meanwhile.


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34359776


You posted the vid now do the maths yourself!

Meanwhile check out just how many time Jesus is reported to have said - YOUR faith has healed you!

So many look to external supernatural powers for help and answers - yet they fail to look inwards! Everything they need they will find there. hf
That which is - has already been, And what is to be - has already been. Quote: King Solomon.
Ozicell

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02/16/2013 06:44 AM

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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
More importantly, how did he feed the 4,000? Or the 5,000?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8282825


Although many less in numbers, I have seen this miracle twice myself in my lifetime and that includes many witnesses!
That which is - has already been, And what is to be - has already been. Quote: King Solomon.
simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 06:45 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
More importantly, how did he feed the 4,000? Or the 5,000?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8282825


I don't know. I'm talking about this one particular "miracle". This one has a simple explanation.
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