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How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1139115
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02/16/2013 08:16 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Please unpin this thread because of too much stupidity.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34441843


Stupidity? You mean simple everyday explanations?

Also, AC--when you get a paid membership, then maybe you can have some say about what gets pinned. Until then, fuckoff2
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


your paying for this!!!!!??????!!!!

who is the sucker.

no wonder truth is battered about here.



---
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34530574
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02/16/2013 08:18 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
They always taught us that the folks were drinking water and just thought it was wine. So, simple hypnosis?

The whole "it was just water" or it was Must (a kind of non alcoholic boiled down grape juice, see below) is mostly from Southern Churches, who would rather deny the divinity of Jesus than admit that He drank.lol

[link to en.wikipedia.org]

[link to en.wikipedia.org]
The Cryptic Moles
User ID: 32690498
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02/16/2013 08:20 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Awwwww...you poor Christards...giving me 1 star...

What's wrong? Can't face an extremely simple explanantion for your beloved "miracle"?

Can't accept that there was a perfectly normal explanation?
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


So I suppose when Jesus fed the multitudes, he pulled all of the fish and bread out of his ass?
stars

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02/16/2013 08:20 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Step 1: Find a wine jug that's been used a lot of times.

Step 2: Fill jug with room-temperature water.

Step 3: Agitate.

Step 4: Serve wine-colored/flavored water to already drunk wedding guests.

Step 5: YOU SAVED THE PARTY! IT'S A MIRACLE!
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


Oh wow, you really opened my eyes I'm so done with this false religion now. 1doh1
 Quoting: rai1234


I think Jesus was more about saving souls, Anyone can add water to a jug, Just like scraping your pipe to get residue out and smoke it, you'll get a buzz, anyone can take some mudd stick it in someones eye to draw out or detox some poison and make a blind man see. Walking on water. much like the matrix, when the kid was bending the spoon. The spoon was never a real spoon, just an illusion. he could manifistate himself on the water, or where ever he wants giving the illusion he was on water.
Jesus was about something bigger, living a righteous
life, helping each other out in life, loving god as you should love each other, do onto others ect. Stay out of hell. Heaven would be the place to go when you buy the big one. Jesus came to save.
You dont have to be religeous to be saved, just know Jesus.
I know Im not. But I know Jesus.
If you want wine just buy some.
stars
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1445056
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02/16/2013 08:36 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Awwwww...you poor Christards...giving me 1 star...

What's wrong? Can't face an extremely simple explanantion for your beloved "miracle"?

Can't accept that there was a perfectly normal explanation?
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


Your stupidity hurts my fucking brain...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1259776
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02/16/2013 08:54 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Awwwww...you poor Christards...giving me 1 star...

What's wrong? Can't face an extremely simple explanantion for your beloved "miracle"?

Can't accept that there was a perfectly normal explanation?
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


I have not given it any rating, though I will say I used to believe Jesus was simply a clever trickster. Lol I now know that to be mans way of trying to deal with it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34359776


The other criminal on the other cross next to Jesus said the very same thing you just said to Jesus. He was the one that didnot make it into Heaven with Jesus and the criminal on the other side of Jesus that spoke truth to Jesus.


Thereare only two things/forces/powers/governments (call it what you please) here on Earth, and theyare truth and lie.

If you love a lie and hate truth, just remember Jesus is the truth and Satan is the lie.- life and death/fire and water.
scimitar

User ID: 31201571
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02/16/2013 09:03 AM

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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
What about Lazarus?
One Truth.... many realities
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34441843
Philippines
02/16/2013 09:05 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
esoteric christianity - kabbalah -
water into wine equals having holiness enter the sexual waters and turning them to wine -
most people are indeed born via a parlor trick since very few understand this holy connection.
 Quoting: octobersolstice


this is a perfect lie.
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 09:05 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
My best man has a simpler version.

Look, you desert dwelling drunkards, you're dying from dehydration. Let me first take some water from my vessel and pour it into yours. Now, drink your wine and be healthy.
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 09:07 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Superman > Jesus any day of the week.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20574169
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02/16/2013 09:08 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
I turned concentrated grape juice into wine one time. Fairly easy.
The Cryptic Mole
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02/16/2013 09:09 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Divine Judgement is at your door, and you shall perish by Famine, Pestilence, and the Sword!
simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 09:15 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Divine Judgement is at your door, and you shall perish by Famine, Pestilence, and the Sword!
 Quoting: The Cryptic Mole 32690498


Yeah! When monkeys fly out me arse.
A subject observes itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself ad infinitum.
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 09:20 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
What about Lazarus?
 Quoting: scimitar


who was "Lazarus"?

I wonder if heis the one i always think of when i run out of booze.
simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 09:24 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
What about Lazarus?
 Quoting: scimitar


I don't know. I'm talking about turning water into wine, not raising the dead.
A subject observes itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself ad infinitum.
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 09:26 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Your Troll sounds like somthing a little kid would make up.


What a Failure..putin
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34530574
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02/16/2013 09:28 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
I've also heard it told that His Presence made water as sweet as wine. Kind of like the way that stale beer in a plastic cup always tastes so good at The Big Game.
stars

User ID: 17867407
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02/16/2013 09:31 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
esoteric christianity - kabbalah -
water into wine equals having holiness enter the sexual waters and turning them to wine -
most people are indeed born via a parlor trick since very few understand this holy connection.
 Quoting: octobersolstice


this is a perfect lie.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34441843
Most people are born because of beer.dasbierluvya
Actually if you new anything about the kingdom of Heaven, we all have an appointed time to live and die. What you do in between there is up to you. keep god in your heart.

Last Edited by stars on 02/16/2013 09:35 AM
stars
The Cryptic Mole
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02/16/2013 09:34 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Divine Judgement is at your door, and you shall perish by Famine, Pestilence, and the Sword!
 Quoting: The Cryptic Mole 32690498


Yeah! When monkeys fly out me arse.
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


You'll change your mind when you watch your poor family suffer because of your stupidity!
stars

User ID: 17867407
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02/16/2013 09:38 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Divine Judgement is at your door, and you shall perish by Famine, Pestilence, and the Sword!
 Quoting: The Cryptic Mole 32690498


Yeah! When monkeys fly out me arse.
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


You'll change your mind when you watch your poor family suffer because of your stupidity!
 Quoting: The Cryptic Mole 32690498


And judge not and you shaln't be judge, because you know Jesus. If you dont know Jesus you will be. But God will know what to do with you.
God new you before the world was created.

Last Edited by stars on 02/16/2013 09:40 AM
stars
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 09:38 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
does anyone know what did Jesus really look like?
stars

User ID: 17867407
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02/16/2013 09:41 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
does anyone know what did Jesus really look like?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259776
I do, he looked like a regular guy, Sweet face, kinda short, 5 ft 2 or so. But by looking at him I just knew who it was. He was clean shaved, short hair. When he spoke to me, he spoke as if he new me, and he did. He was cool, not like the fonz cool,(hey...) but were it counted cool. Ill never forget him.
This is the now a day version, on earth, We met, spent some time together, he's still here in spirit.

Last Edited by stars on 02/16/2013 10:25 AM
stars
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 09:44 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
So why did they say the wine Jesus created was the of superior quality to what they had already been drinking? They may have been drunk, though I am pretty sure they were not that foolish.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 34359776




Really?

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29781798
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02/16/2013 09:46 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Many people think they have the power of God/Jesus, heck even the Devil thought he had the same power as God but look at what happened to him lol
stars

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02/16/2013 09:49 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Many people think they have the power of God/Jesus, heck even the Devil thought he had the same power as God but look at what happened to him lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29781798
He made his choice, he was like , I dont need you. woke up in hell were god isnt. He chose poorly.
stars
stars

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02/16/2013 09:52 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Many people think they have the power of God/Jesus, heck even the Devil thought he had the same power as God but look at what happened to him lol
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29781798
He made his choice, he was like , I dont need you. woke up in hell were god isnt. He chose poorly.
 Quoting: stars
People can do alot of things with god. There was one guy in california had the power of touch, everybody he touched would be cured from whatever disease they had. He was born with it, his parents thought he was demonic.
He would touch 1,000 a day, no charge. No link that I know of. I saw this on tv, Sightings. years ago.
stars
simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 09:54 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Your Troll sounds like somthing a little kid would make up.


What a Failure..putin
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11360402




And yet it's a far more plausible explanation than a "miracle". But you're right about one thing--even a little kid could figure it out. Sorry you couldn't.norespect
A subject observes itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself ad infinitum.
simultaneous_final (OP)

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02/16/2013 09:55 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Divine Judgement is at your door, and you shall perish by Famine, Pestilence, and the Sword!
 Quoting: The Cryptic Mole 32690498


Yeah! When monkeys fly out me arse.
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


You'll change your mind when you watch your poor family suffer because of your stupidity!
 Quoting: The Cryptic Mole 32690498


Yeah OK.
A subject observes itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself observing itself ad infinitum.
Anonymous Coward
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Philippines
02/16/2013 10:09 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Divine Judgement is at your door, and you shall perish by Famine, Pestilence, and the Sword!
 Quoting: The Cryptic Mole 32690498


this is sooo ouch..
Anonymous Coward
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02/16/2013 10:10 AM
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Re: How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!
Divine Judgement is at your door, and you shall perish by Famine, Pestilence, and the Sword!
 Quoting: The Cryptic Mole 32690498


Yeah! When monkeys fly out me arse.
 Quoting: simultaneous_final


You'll change your mind when you watch your poor family suffer because of your stupidity!
 Quoting: The Cryptic Mole 32690498


some of them wouldn't just change their minds even when in hell..

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