Deadbeat dads and their kids...

My ex told me flat out she didn't care what the Court Order said ... I was NOT seeing my boys.

Courts only care abous $$MONEY$$ ... NOT male parental visitation rights.

If money is NOT involved they not only don't want to hear about it but won't even schedule a hearing for MONTHS. Once one gets a hearing and a NEW Court Order ... well nothing changes since the police and Sheriff have "more important" things to do than enforce a Domestic Court Order.

I am not the only male who was actively kept from my kids for YEARS ... happens all the time (and I was NEVER behind on child support).

The system is so stacked against males anymore that I have already told my older son (many years later and now 21) that he is a damn fool if he ever gets married to woman in today's legal environment. I will be having the same talk with my younger son in a month when he turns 18.

Count me in, been destroyed by a chick. Here in the blue state Massachusetts, we are used to being fucked in the ass by the state......well....then i got divorced....

My lawyer said straight up - there is not any other state or nation that will fuck me more than Massachusetts....and he was right...I pay more in child support that it has financially completely and utterly destroyed me in every sense of the word...I pay sometimes 60% of my paycheck.....which means (since I pay)....that ALL of my other bills CAN'T be paid....so.....well it ends the same way as my lawyer put it originally - I'll have to file for bankruptcy.....but wait....

IF I do....well....will it really lower the child support? will it ultimately help my kids? And even better, options-wise - what makes more sense for me incarceration or compliance? right now, as a diabetic - non-compliance makes more sense...free food, healthcare and housing (incarceration)...versus being a pariah and NOT being able to be held to the ridiculousness that is the child-support system of the US (especially MA)....I'm literally worth more dead than alive.....that's not a good notion....

another story. My birthday was earlier this year. She didn't even call me and let me hear my child. I called her and no reply. I texted and asked if she needed something and could we meet up somewhere in the middle. She said she had no gas money because she's a teacher and their checks wound up having a big gap of time between the holidays and the next pay day in the middle of January. I told her I'll send her money on paypal because I had some on there. She says she has no account. I tell her it's easy, takes a few minutes and boom instant cash. Should be no problem right? NOPE she acts like she's too "confused" to do that. If you're broke and I say I'll give you cash right now wouldn't you ask what to do? It's clearly not about the baby at this point..

oh IT GETS BETTER

so then she says that could I meet her on the other side of town (I bus it btw) and way off the route. I told her that's not fair to me because she has a car and only wants to drive 5 minutes from home but I have to make a 2 plus hour trip (then get to where they wanted to meet). So after text back and forth (still won't call me) she says CALL WHEN YOU ARE IN A 1 MILE RADIUS. WHO the **** even speaks like that? but me trying to be the bigger person I didn't question it (I SO SHOULD HAVE. Always get confirmation of EXACTLY what is supposed to happen)I went and did what she asked and just a text back of ok. It is 50 degrees and drizzling so I'm waiting for a call back or something so I can see where they are because In my head I'm thinking oh they're going to actually meet up with me. NOPE they went to where she already knew was out the way for me, didnt' call back, didnt' text . WENT HOME and left me waiting. I call back after about 2 hours because I texted asking what's up. Her MOM calls back and starts grilling me about where was I. So I responded and she's all ok there was a miscommunication. so I'm like I'm still here, what's up. Then it becomes how I'm not this and I'm not that. At this point I'm a little mad but still keeping calm (I'm a very vibrant person so my voice carries and you feel my life force in it) she starts to tell me I'm yelling at her, then puts the SISTER on the phone. So sister starts in on me. I ask why am I speaking to either one of you, my business is with her. She then tells me WELL WHATEVER JUST SEND SOME MONEY OR SOME DIAPERS OR FOOD THRU THE MAIL

and I'm supposed to respect these people? I do, THAT IS THE SAD THING. And I respect myself enough to let them have themselves. I just hope one day I can tell my child that it's not her fault. I hope she understands if they even let her remember who I am.

I could very well just go over there and kick ego to the curb and such and just lick their boots for a few minutes with my child. But this is not about ego. It is about being respectful to others. They have such little respect for me that I don't even want to put myself in that position.

I can only imagine what she'll do to me when she sees that I've lost so much weight and don't THINK about her at all.

but somehow this is my fault because I knocked her up. All goes back to me. Choices and responsibility. Sometimes you don't have much you can do.

I'm know that I am not a bad person, but some might say I'm a bad father for not doing everything POSSIBLE to see my child. It is a two way street.

Student Loans and Disability.. know someone in the same boat. Two options: 1) Let them take their 15% of your monthly payment OR 2) Use the 'income based' repayment. Starts at zero per month and increases each month from there over a 25 year repayment period.

Finally, though I doubt this will happen - The Student Loan Forgiveness Act of 2012 (H.R. 4170) - since it was not passed and would have to be reintroduced. Essentially it is a bailout for every student loan. Doubt it will happen so would suggest look in to #2 to reduce your payment for as long as possible.

Still, any court ordered child support amount is picked up by the govt for those on Disability.

Family court is heavy biased to the mother. Fault free divorce should be retired. Too many divorces based on a whim and crocodile tears from women suffering with little princess syndrome.

Laws vary by state so check yours... but start 'Termination of Parental Rights' and that judge will put her in her place - period - or drop any legal requirement for your support.

Fire with fire...

ps, I haven't taken my drugs for diabetes for a month plus because of child support....while we can argue the drug companies, the docs tell me I need em...I'd rather pay child support...incarceration is looking better, I'd rather you suckers pay for me.....lol....sorry y'all, I really didn't want this....

BINGO!

Feminists goal... worth more dead than alive. Since the dead tell no tales it is win-win for the woman and more fuked up kids.

Thank you feminists. And they wonder why chilvary is gone...

I don't like the idea of the state being involved in what you do with your relationship and children.

She kept trying to get me to marry her because that's what she wanted. I thought logically- that is going to COST US more that needed. Why do you need that so fast? Then it becomes she needs a sign to show i'm committed. I bought her a ring, still haven't gotten that back.

Some people are just set to prove a point. I give people the benefit of the doubt, even when I know they lie to my face. It's easier to look and walk away than to play with them. I've walked away from a lot in life. Some by choice, some by bad decision and having to deal with the consequences. But I know how life works. I learned poker in 3rd grade. I win WAY more than I lose. Why? Because I play to win, not to play. Playing to win is not about victory but by not giving your opponent an angle to play. No unnecessary banter, not niceties. Just to the point and lets get it over. I'll go all in just because I don't want to play. Won't even look at my hand sometimes. It's just the strategy of letting people know that they can keep their own mess and you don't have to take it.

My child being involved is sad, but they tried to take her from me when I was there, so this is just the same thing but from a distance to me. I watched her every day her first year. We bonded. I was there for her fist crawl, her first step, her first da, all that. Mom was jealous and would bitch every time I said something, so I just kept it to myself and acted like it was a first time every time that it happened. Best experience of my life being with the baby, but not the best year by far. I gained weight and became sedentary, internalized all that crap.

some stuff you just can't save face on. I'll try again next month and see if she has cooled off.

People need to stay married and raise children in a two parent household like it's supposed to be. Too many people get divorced over stupid reasons. My ex husband left me and our child so he deserves to pay child support. He asked for it. I wanted to work the marriage out but he did not. He ran off with another woman. He pays child support on time but he rarely sees our child by his own choice. I have never once denied him access. He just does not come around.

Thats tragic and at the same time far too common what happens today. Women seem to be programmed to think if they do not do it on their own they are worthless and so have to put up with then screw a decent guy to get pregnant and then they start their crap. Not all by any means but the ones you hear about. There are plenty that are not this way and we can not always tell who is like this and who is not.

Not everyone is as good pf a poker player either :p

^this. courts give mom the custody, make dad pay for the kids, and he's still a deadbeat. in no uncertain terms i'd murder my ex-partner if she did something like this to me. and the responsible judge. but her first.

Ever post after the OP's post went FULL RETARD. The OP's link is to an article about a football player!

That is sad. Many would love to have an ex be that way - civil that is. As long as fairness and civility prevail then the outcome can potentally be positive. So many are not civil nor fair so no way exists for any positive outcome. Courts screw the man here every day and nothing is done but to divide and destroy the family unit.

Wish my ex was as civil as you. Then again you wouldn't call all former employers/references with a bleeding heart story either!

Your ex is a lucky man. Perhaps in time he will start coming around. Maybe he needs to move on before he can come back... impossible to say.

Peace :p

Anything titled DEADBEAT DADS is going to attract men who have been screwed by the corrupt system which is designed to destroy the family unit if the woman is not happy.

Thanks to the system my ex got everything I ever owned,she bought coke with it. Got over one hundred thousand dollars in child support,bought coke with it. I am still called a dead beat because she claims I never paid anything. Fuck it all.

Look in any white pages under women,there will be a page of women support stuff,look under men,you will find the Mens Warehouse.

NEVER MARRY!

It hurt when he left but I have come to terms with it and I am not angry with him. Anger just hurts the person holding onto it. I am sad to be divorced but I did all I could and I gave it my best. I also have never and would never speak negatively of him in front of our child.

I work 40+ hours a week to pay child and spousal support and live in a one room apartment. Ex just had he boyfriend
move in with her and my kids. Living the Amerikan Dream baby!

I paid 75 to 90 percent of my wages for our rent, that's how.
Thrift store clothes. No money in wallet. No cable. But my kids hate drugs, gangs, are learning new skills yearly, work hard, and speak politely. Low income gets child care programs, phone discount. No cellphone. N

Don't need to be married. Courts consider ANY domestic co-habitation aka 'shacking up' as equal to marriage. They are entitled to anything both used/shared.

Mine closed on her new house then three days later got a DVI for the 2-week domicile then booted me from my own home and stripped the A/C, toilets/appliances - all the 'fixtures' any lawyer will tell you is not to be removed. Cops refused larceny charges due to 2-week domicile from DVI. Took 8 months to get 40% value of stolen parts.

Bankruptcy followed..

They are getting craftier by the day!

Just one opinion but if you can remain that way with your child towards their father then you clearly put them before yourself and any sadness.

As long as there is no ulterior motive to deny the father access then your child will probably be ok. As for you, as long as you were civil and fair, that is all you can do. The rest only time will tell.

I wish more women were civil like you.

Damn...

First I never signed the bc and my ex who was a meth user and had no resources after leaving me 8 monthes pregnant moved 10 states away and became a.lesbian for 8 years and decided to live on the streets and in different states even though the pos court gave me parental rights..I spent over 15grand trying to get custody of my boy but after 10 years of her working the system and me spending every dollar I had trying to do the right thing my final straw was the last sociopathic judge who told me drug addicts make great parents and my job was to pay my child support and let the mother raise the Kidd..well after that I said fuck it..this after getting him 5 times between 2 and 7 having him for 3 to 7 minutes and then having his mom come and get him in the middle of the night and nothing I can do about it I quit..I had to protect myself emotionally from getting hurt.He is now 16 and lives less than 40 miles away and I have no desire to see him..He is flunking out of school but her new boyfriend who is living there is teaching how to drive and buying him a new car..I've paid all my child support up18 and he is a spoiled entitled asshole..his goal is to be a prof skateboarder even though he is terrible..I have no feelings for him and I truly wish him the best..but as I told her to much damage done..

Another wonderful consequence from a mother screwing the system is that the children learn to be just like her. My daughter is a carbon copy but accelerated the con and destroyed her husband in just two years. This is the daughter that told me if I died,even if by suicide,she could get SSI till she was 21.


The main thing that guys should do is to think about what they don't want in a partner. If a women exhibits any of the traits,see ya,wouldn't want to be ya.

It seems you are damned if you do and damned if you don't in this world.
My ex has never EVER been denied access or to see his child, drops by when ever he feels like it, he's a "drifter", off grid, doesn't pay child support (he doesn't even have a bank account), doesn't pay taxes.
But I never in a million years would have wanted my daughter growing up not knowing her dad. I love her and she loves him.

I haven't had a boyfriend since we split up or a holiday/break (8 years ago).
It's all one sided and ALL his way. He visits her when it suits him, but never takes her away or gives me a break... given his lifestyle choices that is probably just as well but it has been a long hard road for me. Unbearable at times.
He'll turn up here to "dry out" sleeps for days and is irritable and extremely unpleasant to be around. Hardly ever plays with his daughter, quality time for them is taking her around to his mates while they drink.
I put up with it just so his child can know him for better or worse.
I regret my poor choice of breeding partner and wasted years. Never saw this coming.
If only I knew then what I know now.

Feminism has destroyed the family unit and any fairness in our system. Another tragic story. So many of them yet nobody can get a damn thing done.

Completely understand having to protect yourself. She and the courts put up barriers so high nobody short of a well connected multi-millionaire could have won.

Tragic.

Pre-nup... sign it or take a hike.

This is a bad thread, awful stories all over - from both sides of the sexes. I pay my shit....but it has destroyed me financially.

That being said (and no, I did nothing - my fucking son was 6 months old when she left - because she "Fell out of love" with me")...i didn't cheat or anything like that..awesome right, it's a "right" for women to divorce in MA....awesome again...

I do forgive her as a Christian....it's hard, I honestly have to ask for forgiveness nightly because of this all because it makes me so angry...I didn't do it and I HATE the fact I'm without my kids...so when I miss em, I have to talk to God just to quell my anger.....daily...

She will have to deal with him/her/it on her own volition. That's my only saving grace - knowing that as FACT. I DO have faith, and to all in this thread - do the same as me - turn to God....that is our saving grace, cause sure as shit - we ain't gonna get it through the courts or the public or society.

It sucks...I miss my baby girl every single day and night. I tell her that I "Think about her in my head and my heart every day." And I do.....I do....I think about them constantly...but let's be real, it tears at my heart about my daughter specifically (I have a son too, he will be "the defender of man" if he is not feminized by these fucks).....but it kills me concerning my daughter.....I miss her REAL bad....daily...it tears at my heart..

FUCK DIVORCE, FUCK THE COURTS, FUCK THESE LAWS....FUCK USA, FUCK MA, and FUCK any shills who defend this man hating shit...(sorry for the few posts I've seen where the women have been fucked over - us REAL men don't want that for you....seriously..most guys aren't like that)...

That's straight up bullshit.

A REAL MAN.





They need to clone you.