I'm going to explain something to you so you can get a better picture. Her her mom and her sister DO NOT HAVE MEN, HATE their father and do not like themselves. When you are in it, you just say to yourself "wow, they are so unhappy." I tried to help them in their unhappiness. Tried to help diet change, tried to do little stuff to make my time with them help.

PEOPLE ARE NOT THE PROBLEM. I don't do people. I do energy. Energy is honest because it removes personal ties. Energy work is something you probably have NO IDEA of.

Not a victim. Calling a spade a spade. So while they are playing keep away you know what I started doing? DETOXING. 100lbs lost since she kicked me out.

want to know what happened the day she kicked me out? There was a job I saw and it was 5 miles away (by this time of the month I'd given her the rent and paid the electric bill). She was not coming home and staying at her sisters house at this point because I just stopped talking to her and was put in the other room. So I walked there from my place (we lived in this place in Orlando called Avalon Park. Nice place but NOT CLOSE to anything really. It was a call center sales job. Show up sell and see what happens. So I went. I called her on my break and said that I was there. She didn't say much but ok. Before I was on my way home I called her again and told her how it was. Her question "IS IS COMMISSION". I said yeah, but that's not so bad because it's resort sales (Florida has a log of them).

didn't offer to pick me up or anything. I didn't ask. It's cool. I start to walk home and the weather starts changing. I'm realizing I'm stuck and I'm looking for cover. STORM starts, Wind and heavy rain (May is hard times for weather in Florida). I'm stuck in the rain, head to toe soaked and phone water damaged to hell. Couldn't call anybody if I wanted. So I wait for the rain, walk home. When I get there it's her and her mom and she's like YOU HAVE TO LEAVE. I'll drop you off at a hotel but you can't stay here. I gather some stuff and we get in the car. SHE PUTS THE AC ON COLD BLAST. I ask her politely can she turn the air down or just the heat up or something. SHE SAYS SHE IS HOT. I just sit there and take it like a man.

So Do I sound like a victim here? I thought it was just f*cked up. Am I wrong for thinking that? OR am I just a punk? I know psychological warfare very well. You should read some of my posts on it.

Anyway I'm not sad, mad or broken by any means. I'm basically writing a playbook on how to fuse your mind body and spirit to be able to deal with crap by getting it out of your system and rebuilding your body. I haven't asked anybody for help with this. I'm doing it on the fly. When I binder it up, it will be very lucrative. BUT I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY. I'm trying to make myself better so I can be in the position that when or if she decides to go to court I can walk in LOOKING GOOD, with cash to pay the bills and explain to a judge that I believe she is MENTALLY UNSTABLE and I will share some stories and let them decide. I know how this game works. I wanted to be a social worker when I was young and dumb and actually thought I could change the system

I'm not a punk, ok. I just don't play the game. I've been a system buster my whole life. My ancestors were Lumbee Indians. Here is a story so you can see just how much RESPECT and HONOR runs in my family and how when people DON'T treat me with respect, I just let them have whatever they think they are holding over my head. Manipulation is different than just being mad. I don't deal well with manipulation. So story I was raised with that taught me YOU ARE NOT A VICIM

"Hector was the victim of a murder just after the Civil War ended. This following information comes from To Die Game, a book about the Lowery gang.

"Like many Indians, Solomon Oxendine had been conscripted for a time into a labor battalion at Fort Fisher, and had come to sympathize with the cause of the Union. One of his kinsman, in fact, had volunteered as a guide for the Sherman forces. [Lisa's note - this was probably Hector Oxendine] Yet the foragers came also to his own yard and seized his only draft animal. 'I and my wife begged for the mule', he later reported, but the Yankees 'said they were good in this low country ... and they were obliged to have good teams to get out. They took my mule and ... I have not seen him since' (US treasury dept records of the accounting office southern claims, record group 217). "

Once the Civil War was over, many local whites hated the Indians who had helped the Union soldiers, even against their will. From Page 51. "On May 1, 1865, two Indians, William Locklear and Hector Oxendine, were on their way to the house of a white neighbor, who they thought might help them recover some horses "the rebels took from us". But before reaching their destination they were arrested by William Humphreys and some other hostile whites." Hector had helped lead Sherman's men, and the next day William and a few friends killed Hector and buried him. These are depositions on Aug 23 1867 from various people."

would you like to know what his brother did?

"Henderson Oxendine - they're the same photos we have here on this site.

Page 90 says that in 1868 "... there were also some brown Indian faces that had never been seen on the county court of the old regime. James Oxendine, known as "Big Jim," a prosperous Indian merchant and farmer, had been elected one of the county commissioners."

Page 119 is now in 1870 and says that prisoners "were transferred to the solid brick jail in Wilmington, where they were incarcerated with Calvin and Henderson Oxendine, first cousins of Stephen Lowry, both still awaiting trial there." The group escaped. The book goes on to describe the escape. "'We didn't get much to eat,' Henderson Oxendine later remarked, though they had 'knocked over a pig once and cooked it up over a fire - had no bread. It was over four weeks before we got to Scuffletown.'"

A spy, Saunders, tried to infiltrate the outlaws and was caught. Henderson Oxendine was on the "council" to decide what to do with the spy. The spy tried to commit suicide and failed. Page 131 recounts Henderson saying "He got a knife one time and cut a vein in his wrist so he could bleed to death. But it didn't bleed a great deal." (from the Wilmington Carolina Farmer and Weekly Star, Mar 24, 1871).

A raid on the bandit camp on Oct 4 1870 wounded but did not kill the group. The book says on page 139, "In the tall grass they found pools of blood where the outlaw chiefs, George Applewhite, Boss Strong, and Henderson Oxendine, all wounded in the first skirmish, had lain waiting for their enemies to walk into the ambush". (from The Swamp outlaws, Townsend and the Wilmington Star, Oct 6 1870).

By Oct 1870 the government had had enough. Page 154 reports "the legislature offered two thousands dollars for the 'delivery, dead or alive" of Henry Berry as well as one thousand dollars each for Stephen Lowry, Thomas Lowry, Boss Strong, Henderson Oxendine and George Applewhite". This from the NC Public Laws, 1870-1871, chap 68. By 1871-2 this was raised for 12 thousand for Henry and 6 thousand for each of the rest.

By 1871 they were getting desperate. Page 165 shows how Mrs. Apple white was the sister of a Forney Oxendine, and Forney was arrested simply because of that relationship. On May 10, 1871, the gang showed up and freed Forney. Later in 1871, the militia were harassing the locals in their quest to find the criminals. Mary Catherine Oxendine says that the commander "struck her a violent blow on the side of her head with the stock of his gun" (from State vs John S McNeill, Superior Court Robeson Cty, Fall 1872).

On page 223 it reports "only one member of the Lowry band, Henderson Oxendine, was ever captured and executed." It talks about how he'd escaped from jail, been wounded in 1870, and was trapped on Feb 26 1871. He was there with his brother Forney Oxendine, also called "Pop". This came from the Wilmington Carolina Farmer and Weekly Star, Mar 24, 1871. When he was hung, he sang Amazing Grace and died with dignity."

so please save your self righteous talk for somebody who MIGHT have an identity issue ok? I'm good

Let this sink in before you respond, if you decide to ok