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How to have a successful relationship.

 
healt
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User ID: 34762533
Italy
02/19/2013 02:28 PM
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How to have a successful relationship.
Do you think that it is always possible to have a successful relationship? What are, in your opinion, the right ingredients for a successful, lasting relationship?

I think that it is possible. Here are some tips.

[link to fullofknowledge.com]
Anonymous Coward
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Italy
02/21/2013 08:40 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
Many people have wonderful relationships. They are very lucky.
Life and Love

User ID: 17175121
United States
02/21/2013 08:41 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
The key is to know that the three most important words in a relationship are not, "I love you." They are, "I was wrong."
We become like that to which we are devoted. Choose wisely.
Epic Beard Guy
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02/21/2013 08:47 AM

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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
It's all about respect and honesty. I have had several people try to use my past against me, but my wife knows everything about my past. That really pisses off potential black-mailers.
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe
Anonymous Coward
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Japan
02/21/2013 08:49 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
Age and Experience!

I think it is impossible to have a "successful Relationship"
when you are under 40!
thisguyistheguy

User ID: 1266452
Canada
02/21/2013 08:52 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
You can either be right, or you can be happy.
Anonymous Coward
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02/21/2013 09:03 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
If you're truly honest and open with someone, you're relationship can't fail.

If either partner holds ANY part of themselves back, then the secrets will grow into needs which will grow into resentment at not getting needs met which will grow into eventual destructive behavior.

That is why most relationships fail.
notta

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02/21/2013 09:03 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
It's all about respect and honesty. I have had several people try to use my past against me, but my wife knows everything about my past. That really pisses off potential black-mailers.
 Quoting: Epic Beard Guy


My past is used against me too, because i have two kids and not with the father - People seem to not trust me and use my past mistakes against me. its sad, i was a teen mother and grew up out of my young world and now have morals, respect and truth and love. And Nobody takes my love seriously.
thisguyistheguy

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02/21/2013 09:08 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
It's all about respect and honesty. I have had several people try to use my past against me, but my wife knows everything about my past. That really pisses off potential black-mailers.
 Quoting: Epic Beard Guy


My past is used against me too, because i have two kids and not with the father - People seem to not trust me and use my past mistakes against me. its sad, i was a teen mother and grew up out of my young world and now have morals, respect and truth and love. And Nobody takes my love seriously.
 Quoting: notta


That's not true at all!

I've dated girls who have had kids.
I'm not deterred when hearing a woman has a kid or kids.

...Up your quality of men.

Maybe you come off as a 'lonely single mother' kind.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34875662
Brazil
02/21/2013 09:10 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
Find an undeceived, virgin woman while you two are still young.
notta

User ID: 31098429
United States
02/21/2013 09:11 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
It's all about respect and honesty. I have had several people try to use my past against me, but my wife knows everything about my past. That really pisses off potential black-mailers.
 Quoting: Epic Beard Guy


My past is used against me too, because i have two kids and not with the father - People seem to not trust me and use my past mistakes against me. its sad, i was a teen mother and grew up out of my young world and now have morals, respect and truth and love. And Nobody takes my love seriously.
 Quoting: notta


That's not true at all!

I've dated girls who have had kids.
I'm not deterred when hearing a woman has a kid or kids.

...Up your quality of men.

Maybe you come off as a 'lonely single mother' kind.
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


I could come off that way, never looked at it like that. girl_bored_brown
thisguyistheguy

User ID: 1266452
Canada
02/21/2013 09:13 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
It's all about respect and honesty. I have had several people try to use my past against me, but my wife knows everything about my past. That really pisses off potential black-mailers.
 Quoting: Epic Beard Guy


My past is used against me too, because i have two kids and not with the father - People seem to not trust me and use my past mistakes against me. its sad, i was a teen mother and grew up out of my young world and now have morals, respect and truth and love. And Nobody takes my love seriously.
 Quoting: notta


That's not true at all!

I've dated girls who have had kids.
I'm not deterred when hearing a woman has a kid or kids.

...Up your quality of men.

Maybe you come off as a 'lonely single mother' kind.
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


I could come off that way, never looked at it like that. girl_bored_brown
 Quoting: notta


Well, I'm not a normal guy when it comes to choosing a woman..I want a good mother - so if she has kids I get a peek into that want easily.

No need to be sad.
It just means timing wasn't right to find what you're looking for.

When you tell men you have kids - do you feel like you're keeping a secret?

I mean, the best thing I see is when women rub them in my face.
Hey, I have two kids I love to death and you must accept that to be with me - kind of mentality.

Not the old "I like him, do I tell him I have kids? what if he doesn't like me after?!"

Fuck that, they're YOUR KIDS!!
Love them more than any man!
notta

User ID: 31098429
United States
02/21/2013 09:17 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
...


My past is used against me too, because i have two kids and not with the father - People seem to not trust me and use my past mistakes against me. its sad, i was a teen mother and grew up out of my young world and now have morals, respect and truth and love. And Nobody takes my love seriously.
 Quoting: notta


That's not true at all!

I've dated girls who have had kids.
I'm not deterred when hearing a woman has a kid or kids.

...Up your quality of men.

Maybe you come off as a 'lonely single mother' kind.
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


I could come off that way, never looked at it like that. girl_bored_brown
 Quoting: notta


Well, I'm not a normal guy when it comes to choosing a woman..I want a good mother - so if she has kids I get a peek into that want easily.

No need to be sad.
It just means timing wasn't right to find what you're looking for.

When you tell men you have kids - do you feel like you're keeping a secret?

I mean, the best thing I see is when women rub them in my face.
Hey, I have two kids I love to death and you must accept that to be with me - kind of mentality.

Not the old "I like him, do I tell him I have kids? what if he doesn't like me after?!"

Fuck that, they're YOUR KIDS!!
Love them more than any man!
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


Oh no, i show my kids off! there beautiful and i am proud, Im not sad its just a journey trying to find love, but im not looking anymore, im waiting for one to come to me :) I take pride in mine and where there names tatted on my body. i am proud. the sad part is not being lonely because im not, its just like a jealous feeling when i see happy couples, i want one! a real one, A man who has kids himself and looking for a mother figure for them, i love kids and done dating men that dont have any.
thisguyistheguy

User ID: 1266452
Canada
02/21/2013 09:22 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
...


That's not true at all!

I've dated girls who have had kids.
I'm not deterred when hearing a woman has a kid or kids.

...Up your quality of men.

Maybe you come off as a 'lonely single mother' kind.
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


I could come off that way, never looked at it like that. girl_bored_brown
 Quoting: notta


Well, I'm not a normal guy when it comes to choosing a woman..I want a good mother - so if she has kids I get a peek into that want easily.

No need to be sad.
It just means timing wasn't right to find what you're looking for.

When you tell men you have kids - do you feel like you're keeping a secret?

I mean, the best thing I see is when women rub them in my face.
Hey, I have two kids I love to death and you must accept that to be with me - kind of mentality.

Not the old "I like him, do I tell him I have kids? what if he doesn't like me after?!"

Fuck that, they're YOUR KIDS!!
Love them more than any man!
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


Oh no, i show my kids off! there beautiful and i am proud, Im not sad its just a journey trying to find love, but im not looking anymore, im waiting for one to come to me :) I take pride in mine and where there names tatted on my body. i am proud. the sad part is not being lonely because im not, its just like a jealous feeling when i see happy couples, i want one! a real one, A man who has kids himself and looking for a mother figure for them, i love kids and done dating men that dont have any.
 Quoting: notta



You see how you're beginning your hunt with requirements?

You can't fall in love with a man without kids?!
...Come on.

Imagine your prince heard you say that, he'd walk away and you'd never know what could have been.

While I understand that past dictates present, you need to remain open to all types of people sharing love.
...Even if it doesn't end up being the person you share a life with, sharing love is a great thing that shouldn't be stopped.

Either way, things happen as they need to happen.
I totally understand the jealousy of seeing happy couples and wanting that - but that's skin deep, you never know what happens behind closed doors.

Take me - I recently met a woman I fell in love with 3 months ago.
2 months ago she was diagnosed with a pretty bad brain tumor requiring a lot of chemo and doctors.

...Most people would run from that!

Me? I think that I met this person for a reason - whether we stay together or not she's in my life for a reason and I intend to stay to find out what it is.

...Too many wusses in the world who run at the first sign of trouble.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17996389
United States
02/21/2013 09:23 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
You normally have to burn through a few partners first to find out who you really are.

The ideal partner will be someone that unknowingly pushes your buttons and in doing so helps you recognize your own "shadow" so that you may heal it.

If however you blame your partner for buttons pushed and all the anger and negative emotion welling up within you then you are condemned to having a blind spot that will continue to create pain and act through you without your knowing.

To hold your partner responsible for your negative emotions that existed within you long before they arrived is a death knell.

Own your shit and say thank you to your partner for showing you what is inside of you and allowing you to own it and take responsibility for it.
notta

User ID: 31098429
United States
02/21/2013 09:26 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
...


I could come off that way, never looked at it like that. girl_bored_brown
 Quoting: notta


Well, I'm not a normal guy when it comes to choosing a woman..I want a good mother - so if she has kids I get a peek into that want easily.

No need to be sad.
It just means timing wasn't right to find what you're looking for.

When you tell men you have kids - do you feel like you're keeping a secret?

I mean, the best thing I see is when women rub them in my face.
Hey, I have two kids I love to death and you must accept that to be with me - kind of mentality.

Not the old "I like him, do I tell him I have kids? what if he doesn't like me after?!"

Fuck that, they're YOUR KIDS!!
Love them more than any man!
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


Oh no, i show my kids off! there beautiful and i am proud, Im not sad its just a journey trying to find love, but im not looking anymore, im waiting for one to come to me :) I take pride in mine and where there names tatted on my body. i am proud. the sad part is not being lonely because im not, its just like a jealous feeling when i see happy couples, i want one! a real one, A man who has kids himself and looking for a mother figure for them, i love kids and done dating men that dont have any.
 Quoting: notta



You see how you're beginning your hunt with requirements?

You can't fall in love with a man without kids?!
...Come on.

Imagine your prince heard you say that, he'd walk away and you'd never know what could have been.

While I understand that past dictates present, you need to remain open to all types of people sharing love.
...Even if it doesn't end up being the person you share a life with, sharing love is a great thing that shouldn't be stopped.

Either way, things happen as they need to happen.
I totally understand the jealousy of seeing happy couples and wanting that - but that's skin deep, you never know what happens behind closed doors.

Take me - I recently met a woman I fell in love with 3 months ago.
2 months ago she was diagnosed with a pretty bad brain tumor requiring a lot of chemo and doctors.

...Most people would run from that!

Me? I think that I met this person for a reason - whether we stay together or not she's in my life for a reason and I intend to stay to find out what it is.

...Too many wusses in the world who run at the first sign of trouble.
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


I say that because i dont want to have anymore kids myself, so if a man with kids wants a woman with kids here i am, but a man with no kids who wants kids of his own will not have a chance..
A Dying Breed

User ID: 1514619
United States
02/21/2013 09:27 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
Honesty.

Great sex.

Your own friends.

Your own spaces.

Money.
thisguyistheguy

User ID: 1266452
Canada
02/21/2013 09:28 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
...


Well, I'm not a normal guy when it comes to choosing a woman..I want a good mother - so if she has kids I get a peek into that want easily.

No need to be sad.
It just means timing wasn't right to find what you're looking for.

When you tell men you have kids - do you feel like you're keeping a secret?

I mean, the best thing I see is when women rub them in my face.
Hey, I have two kids I love to death and you must accept that to be with me - kind of mentality.

Not the old "I like him, do I tell him I have kids? what if he doesn't like me after?!"

Fuck that, they're YOUR KIDS!!
Love them more than any man!
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


Oh no, i show my kids off! there beautiful and i am proud, Im not sad its just a journey trying to find love, but im not looking anymore, im waiting for one to come to me :) I take pride in mine and where there names tatted on my body. i am proud. the sad part is not being lonely because im not, its just like a jealous feeling when i see happy couples, i want one! a real one, A man who has kids himself and looking for a mother figure for them, i love kids and done dating men that dont have any.
 Quoting: notta



You see how you're beginning your hunt with requirements?

You can't fall in love with a man without kids?!
...Come on.

Imagine your prince heard you say that, he'd walk away and you'd never know what could have been.

While I understand that past dictates present, you need to remain open to all types of people sharing love.
...Even if it doesn't end up being the person you share a life with, sharing love is a great thing that shouldn't be stopped.

Either way, things happen as they need to happen.
I totally understand the jealousy of seeing happy couples and wanting that - but that's skin deep, you never know what happens behind closed doors.

Take me - I recently met a woman I fell in love with 3 months ago.
2 months ago she was diagnosed with a pretty bad brain tumor requiring a lot of chemo and doctors.

...Most people would run from that!

Me? I think that I met this person for a reason - whether we stay together or not she's in my life for a reason and I intend to stay to find out what it is.

...Too many wusses in the world who run at the first sign of trouble.
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


I say that because i dont want to have anymore kids myself, so if a man with kids wants a woman with kids here i am, but a man with no kids who wants kids of his own will not have a chance..
 Quoting: notta


People who expect things from life piss me off.

Life doesn't give a shit about your plans

I want kids, I don't NEED kids.
If I love a woman who can't have kids, i won't run.

Life doesn't give a shit about your plans!!
notta

User ID: 31098429
United States
02/21/2013 09:33 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
...


Oh no, i show my kids off! there beautiful and i am proud, Im not sad its just a journey trying to find love, but im not looking anymore, im waiting for one to come to me :) I take pride in mine and where there names tatted on my body. i am proud. the sad part is not being lonely because im not, its just like a jealous feeling when i see happy couples, i want one! a real one, A man who has kids himself and looking for a mother figure for them, i love kids and done dating men that dont have any.
 Quoting: notta



You see how you're beginning your hunt with requirements?

You can't fall in love with a man without kids?!
...Come on.

Imagine your prince heard you say that, he'd walk away and you'd never know what could have been.

While I understand that past dictates present, you need to remain open to all types of people sharing love.
...Even if it doesn't end up being the person you share a life with, sharing love is a great thing that shouldn't be stopped.

Either way, things happen as they need to happen.
I totally understand the jealousy of seeing happy couples and wanting that - but that's skin deep, you never know what happens behind closed doors.

Take me - I recently met a woman I fell in love with 3 months ago.
2 months ago she was diagnosed with a pretty bad brain tumor requiring a lot of chemo and doctors.

...Most people would run from that!

Me? I think that I met this person for a reason - whether we stay together or not she's in my life for a reason and I intend to stay to find out what it is.

...Too many wusses in the world who run at the first sign of trouble.
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


I say that because i dont want to have anymore kids myself, so if a man with kids wants a woman with kids here i am, but a man with no kids who wants kids of his own will not have a chance..
 Quoting: notta


People who expect things from life piss me off.

Life doesn't give a shit about your plans

I want kids, I don't NEED kids.
If I love a woman who can't have kids, i won't run.

Life doesn't give a shit about your plans!!
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


Going with the flow has got me this far, time for plans and expectations.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 4298234
Korea, Republic of
02/21/2013 09:39 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
Tolerance.

You will never realize what you truly want until you spend some time in a relationship with someone who is willing to put up with your bullshit, and still love you unconditionally enough to give you the chance to do the same.
thisguyistheguy

User ID: 1266452
Canada
02/21/2013 09:41 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
...



You see how you're beginning your hunt with requirements?

You can't fall in love with a man without kids?!
...Come on.

Imagine your prince heard you say that, he'd walk away and you'd never know what could have been.

While I understand that past dictates present, you need to remain open to all types of people sharing love.
...Even if it doesn't end up being the person you share a life with, sharing love is a great thing that shouldn't be stopped.

Either way, things happen as they need to happen.
I totally understand the jealousy of seeing happy couples and wanting that - but that's skin deep, you never know what happens behind closed doors.

Take me - I recently met a woman I fell in love with 3 months ago.
2 months ago she was diagnosed with a pretty bad brain tumor requiring a lot of chemo and doctors.

...Most people would run from that!

Me? I think that I met this person for a reason - whether we stay together or not she's in my life for a reason and I intend to stay to find out what it is.

...Too many wusses in the world who run at the first sign of trouble.
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


I say that because i dont want to have anymore kids myself, so if a man with kids wants a woman with kids here i am, but a man with no kids who wants kids of his own will not have a chance..
 Quoting: notta


People who expect things from life piss me off.

Life doesn't give a shit about your plans

I want kids, I don't NEED kids.
If I love a woman who can't have kids, i won't run.

Life doesn't give a shit about your plans!!
 Quoting: thisguyistheguy


Going with the flow has got me this far, time for plans and expectations.
 Quoting: notta

hf

Good luck finding everything you want!
notta

User ID: 31098429
United States
02/21/2013 09:41 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
Tolerance.

You will never realize what you truly want until you spend some time in a relationship with someone who is willing to put up with your bullshit, and still love you unconditionally enough to give you the chance to do the same.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4298234


clappa
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14965262
United States
02/21/2013 09:48 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
A "successful relationship" can only be found with a person who is a Christian, who has the Lord Jesus Christ in their life and the Bible as their guide.

The Lord Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, forever.
His Word never changes. Those who follow Jesus, who have strong evidence in their life that they live to serve and obey Christ are the ones that can be counted on for friendships and relationships.

Women and men who want a successful relationship need to first become Christians themselves and then fill their life with other Christians. Bring Christ in to your life and the surround yourself with others who have Christ in their lives. This is success.

Any equation that does not have Jesus will fail.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2226485
United States
02/21/2013 09:49 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
Honesty.

Great sex.

Your own friends.

Your own spaces.

Money.
 Quoting: A Dying Breed


Add some "common friends" to that
and you have a great start.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17996389
United States
02/21/2013 09:50 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
You normally have to burn through a few partners first to find out who you really are.

The ideal partner will be someone that unknowingly pushes your buttons and in doing so helps you recognize your own "shadow" so that you may heal it.

If however you blame your partner for buttons pushed and all the anger and negative emotion welling up within you then you are condemned to having a blind spot that will continue to create pain and act through you without your knowing.

To hold your partner responsible for your negative emotions that existed within you long before they arrived is a death knell.

Own your shit and say thank you to your partner for showing you what is inside of you and allowing you to own it and take responsibility for it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17996389
United States
02/21/2013 09:53 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
A "successful relationship" can only be found with a person who is a Christian, who has the Lord Jesus Christ in their life and the Bible as their guide.

The Lord Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, forever.
His Word never changes. Those who follow Jesus, who have strong evidence in their life that they live to serve and obey Christ are the ones that can be counted on for friendships and relationships.

Women and men who want a successful relationship need to first become Christians themselves and then fill their life with other Christians. Bring Christ in to your life and the surround yourself with others who have Christ in their lives. This is success.

Any equation that does not have Jesus will fail.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14965262


Thats a bit final......you do appreciate that the world is populated by billions of non-Christians also?

I am sure all the indigenous people that were wiped out by religious psychotics in the past were very happy to know that they had Jesus in their lives.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 428255
Bulgaria
02/21/2013 09:56 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
It's not possible, relationships are based on constant compromises...even if you're nice to each other, you'll still not feel happy (Well not in longer-term), whether you can pinpoint the truth and have the courage to admit it or not.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14965262
United States
02/21/2013 10:00 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
A "successful relationship" can only be found with a person who is a Christian, who has the Lord Jesus Christ in their life and the Bible as their guide.

The Lord Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, forever.
His Word never changes. Those who follow Jesus, who have strong evidence in their life that they live to serve and obey Christ are the ones that can be counted on for friendships and relationships.

Women and men who want a successful relationship need to first become Christians themselves and then fill their life with other Christians. Bring Christ in to your life and the surround yourself with others who have Christ in their lives. This is success.

Any equation that does not have Jesus will fail.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 14965262


When you become a Christian your joy and happiness comes from serving, giving, loving others as opposed to serving yourself. Your thinking and mindset is 180 different.
Obiwanbeeohbee

User ID: 28634688
United States
02/21/2013 10:19 AM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.


The important part comes in the last 20 seconds.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something that is completely foolproof, is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools" - Douglas Adams
ACG
User ID: 33044158
United States
03/10/2013 03:40 PM
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Re: How to have a successful relationship.
First step: Define the relationship. Vagaries destroys them all.

Second step: Assume there is one one relationship in the universe.

Thirst step: Use the word "relationship" cause that is what all the tv's, grocery store magazines, and dailymail websites use.

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