how come when we were little, there were ALWAYS porn mags in the woods?

so thats what mom meant by telling my brother "stay out of the woods or you will go blind"

LOL! I agree this thread should be pinned. It's just too funny (because it's true) and brings back a lot of memories (mammaries).

There was a city run recycling center where I lived. They'd have some semitrailers parked, and people would bring down their old newspapers and magazines for recycling. The word was out among the kids that it was a mecca for free porn. You'd have to search through piles of magazines to find the booty. Then there was nothing to do but haul it off to the woods, you wouldn't bring it home!

We lived in a rural area growning up. The highway we had to catch the school bus on always had porn mags blowing around. We would hide them in the morning and pick them up when we got home from school. We kept them hid in one of the barns until the collection got so big we thought it might get discovered, so we filtered our least favorite ones and burned them while our folks were away. Population control kept us from having to destroy the entire herd.

What, are you people all from Michigan and live down the road from Malu?

Don't know if anyone has mentioned it yet but it is simple. You can't keep the mags in the outhouse cause the old lady will see them. Always hide them behind your favorite tree.

The only porn I ever saw was in the magazine rack at home. The woods were devoid of porn. Many snakes lived in the woods, and they count as phallic symbols. Funny thread, though.

GQAB (Giggled Quite A Bit) at Screwtape's post on page 1.

I grew up less than one mile away from Australia's most infamous red light district.

I once found a full-on German scat-mag in our local park bin. I can't remember why I was rummaging in there like a racoon.

It had lots of urine filled tubes and coffee cups partially filled with human excrement.

I took it to our very multicultural school the next day to see what the reaction might be. The reaction on the school bus and at school was impulsive (13 year olds). The magazine probably ended up in the hands of the teachers.

The Catholic Portuguese guy may have never fully forgiven me.

Guys are just too funny!

Maybe George Noory could have a How I found Porn in the Woods show on Coast to Coast sometime.

yep, found porn in the woods too, in fact growin up it was sort of common, when you go over to a friends house if you got bored playing you'd go check out the porn stashed in the woods by their house

it was like it was spread all over the county!

I guess thats why its called gettin wood ?!

Maybe women vampires were putting all the porn in the woods, did you ever consider that posibility?

I use to find them in the woods too. wtf up wit dat

Kids around the heavily wooded locale where I spent the better part of my youth, were occasionally jumping into dumpsters when they would see a Playboy or Penthouse magazine staring up at them. The various tree house and fort networks became a second home for them, (ever increasing in quantity)...top secret literary trading posts would be a better description.

My first exposure to the nude/semi nude female human being (many, many moons before the tree-house days), was on my dad's very proudly displayed U.S. Naval Academy diploma. All around the outer designs of this document are tiny little drawings/etchings of topless mermaids cavorting around the sea/waves in various poses. Pirate diplomas seem a more appropriate place for that sort of thing...not "honored" and "respected" American Naval documents. [[[ And yes gentlemen, mermaids have extraordinarily beautiful breasts (and this diploma is vintage 1960, so those jokers were definately real). ]]]

Does under a bridge count?

Brother AC1044, I can understand your consternation in regards as to whether finding the porno mag under the bridge qualifies you to post your experience to this thread, even though you were not "in the woods" as such.

OP, too true, sick little kids. We used to hang out in a shack in the middle of the woods by my old house. We'd smoke weed and drink back there. One day we were cleaning the place up(there was a whole bunch of old farm stuff scattered about) we found a bunch of porno mags in a box under some junk. We burned them in a pyro-manic drunken state. After we cleaned the place up we put up a bunch of graffiti. The little wankers never came back, and we officialy converted a wack shack into the neighborhood stoner hang out.

bump for wood porn

what is ironic
the porn addicts usually mock those who love Jesus
but, what do they give their lives to?

That was true for where we grew up. Of course, we put them there so our parents wouldn't find them. But yeah.

This thread is a re-run. It's a funny one though.

i rememember i was so paranoid about my mom finding my porn..... i had a single page that i rolled up and put it in my pen around the ink tube....

it was a good hiding spot

but ya.... the good old days.... porn was so scarse... i remember wacking of to store catalogues and and the weather lady

what is ironic
the porn addicts usually mock those who love Jesus
but, what do they give their lives to?
----------------------------------------
Again with the JESUS shit !
it never ends, always gotta slip it in.

You think in CHINA they give it all to JESUS ? YOU THINK THE ARABS do ?

**faps furiously**
watching SCAT, BEAST, BUKKAKE prOn.

The thread cracked me up so much I asked a couple of guys I know about it.

They laughed...

And said, with red faces they never found any porn in the woods.

:POTD:

I can also say yeah I remember to this one (from UK)

Did only guys find porn in the woods? I am a girl and I was always in the woods growing up, but never found any.

I asked a friend about this, (sent him this thread) and he wrote me back this email, which he gave me permission to post here, edited a bit for anonymity:

Yes, there was porn in the woods at the end of our block. There were many boys in the neighborhood - many age groups. The woods were accessible from a few different neighborhoods. Next time you come back to visit we are going to drive to the 'woods' of my youth and look for porn. It sounds fun and I bet we'll find some.

I'm going to check with a friend of mine that grew up on the other side of the woods - I didn't meet him until we were both at ----. It could have been his hidden porn we would find.

It would make a fun short film as well - looking for porn in the woods across America. 

It's raining today - destroying any porn that may be hiding out there. We'll have to wait until later spring when a new crop of porn will appear in 'the woods'.

When we were young young children the older kids would tell us that there were 'strippers' in the woods. Not like dancer/strippers, but more like molesters that would strip you and molest you. I don't know if there was some incident that started this rumour, but we believed it for awhile.

Mostly kids would just set it on fire.